Friday, December 28, 2012

The Three Alphas

Over the holidays the Red Pill came up more than once, in a lot of different contexts.  One intriguing discussion revolved around my definition of a “Wolf Alpha”.

For those of you just joining us, my own variation on Vox Day’s brilliant Socio-Sexual Hierarchy involves dividing clear masculine “Alphas” into different sub-categories, based upon their focus.  Each one is clearly an “Alpha Male”, but they present differently, have different values and concerns, and they express their Alpha nature very differently.

The one commonly known in the PUA community is the “Bull Alpha”.  This is the traditional playboy, the over-sexed harem-developing dude who can commit to a hairstyle more easily than committing to a woman.  Often driven professionally, successful, and extremely self-confident, the Bull Alpha might love women, plural, but settling on one woman is against his nature.

The Bull Alpha is the natural PUA.  He's got Game as an innate talent.  Pussy is a sport for him, perhaps a passion, but he's into variety, not consistency.

Then there are the Bear Alphas.  I won’t get into them much here, considering the discussion I make of them in the book (still waiting on word).  Basically, Bear Alphas are the kind of men who other men admire and who are often so committed to an ideal that their family, wife, and personal lives are secondary to that ideal or passion.  Sometimes Bear Alphas are, indeed, openly gay, but more often they are studiously non-sexual, seeing any devotion of energy to such things as detracting from their commitment.   But Bear Alphas are their own unique kind of Alpha Male.

But then there are the Wolf Alphas.  Wolf Alphas, unlike Bull Alphas, are more interested in finding an excellent wife and devoting themselves utterly to their family.  Wolves are highly social creatures, just like humans, and the social hierarchy of the pack is an important survival function for the species.  A Wolf Alpha is a man who has essentially made the survival and prosperity of his family, and the members thereof, his personal responsibility. 

Bull Alphas make their personal vision or ego their personal responsibility, and see the fulfillment of that vision as proof of their success.  That success is validated by the mad poon they can pull as their confidence and success makes them irresistible to a lot of women.

Bear Alphas have made the ideals and vision of the non-familial group their personal responsibility, and see the continued prosperity and success of that group as a reflection of their personal success.  Their success is validated through social respect and the praise and acknowledgement of their professional peers. 

Wolf Alphas have made their family their focus.  Their dedication and devotion is to their personal social and genetic clan, in which they assume a leadership role.  This often means gently dominating the family to ensure proper security, health, and guidance for everyone, as well as undertaking to provide as many resources as possible for the family.  A Wolf Alpha’s dedication to his family (including his wife) is not a betrayal of his Alpha status – it’s an expression of it. 

Bull Alphas make great lovers and poor husbands.  Bear Alphas make (often) mediocre and awkward lovers and distant if competent husbands.  Wolf Alphas make good lovers and great husbands, if they have done a proper job of wife selection (and most Wolf Alphas make a point of that).

Why is this important?  Because in chasing down Alpha, women often catch a whiff and don’t recognize the specific aroma.  A woman can find a Bull Alpha ridiculously sexy and entertaining, but trying to build a life with him is going to be a full-time job, as you fight off both predatory women and his own urge to stray.  A woman can invest great hope in a relationship with a Bear Alpha, because of his great passion for a cause or an ideal – particularly if she shares that ideal or holds that cause dear. 

But a woman who marries a Bear Alpha is in for a long and frustrating relationship . . . and more than one Bear Alpha has been secretly bisexual, as his charisma and passion attract same-sex attention.  Marrying a Bear Alpha might give a woman great social prestige, but its unlikely for her to find the relationship deeply fulfilling unless she, too, places the common ideal above the needs of her relationship and family.

Wolf Alphas are different – they are actively seeking to breed with a long-term, committed partner.  And they frequently masquerade as high Betas or even Gammas, as they seek out that perfect Mrs. Wolf to build a family with.  They may even masquerade as a Bull Alpha or (more rarely) a Bear Alpha in their quest, in order to ferret out a prospective wife’s character and values.

Wolf Alphas have very high standards, but they are also ridiculously loyal and protective once they have committed.  Their success is based almost entirely on their functioning family, and they will make nearly any sacrifice to that end – including forgoing promotions and employment opportunities a Bull Alpha would find irresistible, and a Bear Alpha would feel duty-bound to accept.  A Wolf Alpha’s success is proven in raising his children to maturity and preparing them for adult life, with the active participation of an equally-passionate mate. 

How do you spot young Wolf Alphas on the hunt?  They’ll often hang back and observe before plunging into a social situation.  They work well in groups, and will sometimes have 2-3 other dudes around them for cover, protection, and support.  They will frequently feign goofiness or make outrageous statements on early acquaintance in order to gauge a woman’s reaction.  When discussing the future, they almost always have a plan, even if they are willing to change it to suit their circumstances.  They often know what they want to do when they grow up, and they have no qualms about stating their desire for children and a wife – ONE wife.

That doesn’t mean that it’s easy to get them to commit – indeed, one of the telling differences between a hard Beta and a stealthy Wolf Alpha is how easy it is to get the former to commit, and how difficult it is to win that prize from the latter.  A Wolf might screw you rotten and make you make the pig noise, but he isn’t going to introduce you to Mom or agree to go to your sister’s wedding until you prove yourself worthy.

Wolf Alphas have very little tolerance for infidelity.  Or any kind of disloyalty, but infidelity is particularly insidious to the Wolf Alpha.  It’s not just a crime against the relationship, it’s a crime against the mutual dedication to the family that a Wolf Alpha expects – and demands – in his life.  If a male Wolf Alpha does have an affair, he is often deeply wracked with guilt about it and considers it a catastrophic mistake. 

When folks in the Manosphere are throwing around the Alpha term, sometimes it’s helpful to stop and give some thought to the variations.  Just as there are different kinds of “Beta” (High Beta, Low Beta, Gamma, Delta, etc.) dudes, the different kinds of Alpha men who have mastered the art of manliness enough to impose their will upon the world are variations on the same robust theme.  


  1. You could also take the Edenic view comparing Wolf Alphas to the Neanderthal tribes. A Wolf Alpha is a leader of others who understands that loyalty and support go both ways. Besides taking care of a mate, he also takes care of his pack/tribe. This is one of the characteristics that built western society.

  2. I really like your take of the different variations of alpha. So many blogs are devoted to the bull alpha type that I sometimes feel out of place reading them. Even at times I believed I am beta. Should I come to terms being a beta of whatever caliber? No. There are to many markers in my life both in how I manage my family and how people interact with me that point to alpha. Yet, I was not the PUA roaming the clubs and bagging pussy. Though, that life is the dream of my flesh. I choose to have a family.

    That being said, do you believe being a wolf alpha a choice or something that is built into the person.

  3. no interest in marriage or kids. i thought i was aquarius, turns out i'm a taurus. soft harem of 4 back home and 2 out here.

  4. Thank you for this article. I am truly a wolf alpha. I don't have oneitis ( if my woman dissatisfied me or cheated I would have a new set of women in a week), but I do greatly value building a family. When it comes to women I always have a plate spinning back-up plan but I value these other things and frankly assume responsibility for the beautiful woman who has fully submitted to me. I take this responsibility seriously at some core biological level. This was great to read as I knew I was probably the most alpha guy in my extended world at work and socially, I just didn't bed that many different women once I found a good one who submitted. While single I bedded north of 300 women (in my mid 40s) but since she came along, it is just her. We typically have sex 2 to 3 times daily for 5 years now and that helps.

    The descriptions are so accurate. I am ridiculously loyal but demand it in return to a high standard. I would consider a private negative statement about me to one of her friends on par with sexual infidelity. I have also feigned goofiness to test women (amazing that you named this as a trait)

    Thanks for this.

  5. I enjoyed this post very much. I would like to see something more elaborate of the emotional characteristics of the alphas.

  6. What advice would you give to a bear alpha. You write about them in complete derision and I see no one willingly identifies with them, due to the derogatory manner in which they are written about.

    Which book specifically of your do you discuss them in, and do you give advice or show anything besides contempt for them? You quite clearly show envy and animosity towards the Bull alpha and clearly self identify with the Wolf, but the bear alone is the target of disgust and derision.

    1. I disagree. I don't view Bear Alphas with disgust and derision, I just demonstrate that they are often misunderstood, even by themselves. Trying to hold a Bear Alpha up to Wolf Alpha standards on family, for instance, is going to be rough. As is holding him up to Bull Alpha standards on security and achievement. A Bear gets his fulfillment out of devotion to a cause or movement, like the military, sports, or the clergy. That isn't to say that he's a failure, he's just not me, and I'm not him. There's no contempt, just an acknowledgement of misunderstanding.

      Nor do I "envy" the Bull Alpha as much as I pity him. As much as he strives for financial security and success, his achievements often put him at odds with the things that might actually bring him fulfillment. Bull Alphas might be successful, but they tend to be lonely.

  7. Women don't realize they are living on borrowed time, sooner or later the alphas will rise against this feminazi society and then they'll be sorry for being the inferior gender.

  8. my brother young bull alpha, my husband wolf alpha. one day my brother got hot headed at me over a family matter and my husband told him to shut up, then my brother went right at him. wolf alpha won. my brother hasn't talked to me like that since. was a good day! haha

  9. My older brother is a wolf alpha he climbs up the business world but if the opportunities don't fit the raising of his kid he without hesitance would not engage opportunities. I'm a bull alpha just here to sport in my set pace of willpower no time for me to wallflower.

  10. I love all the posts, I really enjoyed, I would like more information about this, because it is very nice., Thanks for sharing.

  11. Do men change from one type wolf to another through life? I believe I was a Bull Alpha in my late teens and twenties but, now married with three children, so much of the Wolf Alpha describes me.

    And...truth me told, I use the term "alpha" loosely. I believe I was more alpha in my youth as a Bull but I'm finding that I have to make a conscious effort at the alpha properties, at least some of them, as a Wolf.