Wednesday, May 21, 2014

The Hard Sell, Preselection And Fungibility

One of my readers, and a friend of mine, recently had a commitment issue.  He solved it in delightfully Red Pill style, so I felt compelled to share.

A little background: Darius (not his real name, of course) is dreamy.  That is, he's in his 30s, he's a seasoned professional making very good money, drives a hot car, owns his own incredibly nice house, and he's got that great balance of Alpha and Beta that makes panties damp the world around.  Good looking, too, from a few feet away.

Darius has been a player in the past, as he works in a female dominated field and he's one of the few hetero dudes in it.  He travels a lot, dresses well, and so his single Game is generally exquisite.  He isn't a committed bachelor, however: he's looking for the right woman, as he's ready to settle down.  He shares custody of a kid from a previous relationship and he's adept at fathering.  All in all, OUTSTANDING Husband Material.

Unfortunately, a couple of years back he and his long-term girlfriend parted ways after he proposed and she said 'no'.  Now, Ladies, when a man in your life proposes to you, you may not realize it but it's a ONE SHOT DEAL.  Either you accept and get married, or you don't . . . and he moves on.  Getting rejected at that fundamental level is excruciatingly painful for a dude, and thinking you can still hang out and have Girlfriend Priveledges is your hamster squeaking.  If he offers you a ring and you refuse, that's the end of the relationship.  Period.

In the aftermath of that ugly time, Darius drowned his sorrows in massive amounts of freaky, no-strings-attached pussy.   Or, as another one of my friends says,"Go out and find one who looks just like her, fuck her, and then never call her again."  He swears by the technique.

That's a fairly typical and healthy response - when a man feels rejected, his two fall-back positions are Withdrawal and Objectification.  Which means that the best way to soothe a man's broken heart is with a heaping helping of horny hotties.

But eventually Darius found another girlfriend, one who had some real potential.  Problem was, she was hesitant about committing, for whatever reason.  Whether she was playing coy, genuinely confused, or just inherently cautious about commitment (in this case the commitment involved nothing more than cohabitation and exclusivity), thanks to Darius' previous experience, he'd had enough.  Usually the dude is as nice and soft-spoken and charming as you could ask.  But when the subject of her moving in and taking the relationship up a notch came up recently, she again demurred.

Darius had enough.

Blue Pill doctrine calls for the man to quietly slink away and change the subject in such a situation, then shower her with gifts and appease her utterly in an attempt to convince her.  As most of us know, this rarely leads to a desirable outcome.  If the woman is persuaded, then the resulting relationship is replete with strings and conditions, and the progress from their is treacherous at best.

Instead Darius used a cast-iron Red Pill technique: the Hard Sell.

When his girlfriend demurred, Darius whipped out his smartphone and started showing her pictures . . . of his previous booty calls.  As their relationship was nascent, many of these women didn't even know he was in a new relationship.  As luck would have it, one of his previous NSA girls had sexted him a nasty pic and proposed a booty call for that very evening, after not hearing from him for a few months.  Darius showed his new girlfriend the picture and said in a very calm, low, unexcited voice (I'm paraphrasing here):

"See her?  She's hot.  Hell, she's gorgeous.  She's as hot as you are, and she's a stone cold freak.  She just texted me a picture of her twat while she was driving - you've never done that.  So while you're dinking around with whether or not you should move in with me, I can answer this text and in an hour this chick will be on my doorstep.  Fifteen minutes after that she'll be bent over this very couch with my freshly-sucked cock up her ass, and will love every minute of it.  She's a freak.  She loves dick and loves sex and will try anything I want.

"I'm showing you this not to piss you off, but to demonstrate that I have fucking options.  I'm not going to wait around while you decide just how valuable you twat is, and whether or not I measure up to your standards.  I have twenty girls like her in my directory, and I get just about any of them to come over at any time.  You're sweet, I really like you, and I really want to spend more time together . . . but if you aren't willing to make this move, then we need to go ahead and move on.  And I'll start by having this chick stop by an hour after you leave."

Of course his new girlfriend was shocked, stunned, and surprised by such a direct approach . . . but she got the message: Your Pussy Has No Special Powers.  There are billions of perfection acceptable vaginas out there, and if you are not attentive or if you are unwilling to follow his lead, then you'll be dumped overboard and the next in a long line of possible future Mrs. Dariuses will take your place.

She was offended, too, no doubt - but he'd made his point.

When you are over the infatuation stage of the relationship and at the negotiation stage, it is VITALLY important for a Red Pill dude to remember the essential fungibility of women, and that the primary attraction factor for a man in a potential relationship is SEX.  Sex which - thanks to our lovely modern technological society - can be had by a man with even mediocre Game with very little difficulty.  Darius has GREAT Game, as I can attest by the number of hotties on his arm at functions and the number of envious damp panties in his wake.  He wasn't bullshitting, as his girlfriend knew - he was the real deal, and the wrong move would mean going overboard.

Women - all women, not just feminists - hate to think that they can be replaced so quickly, but the fact of the
matter is that there are usually far more women out there who want a boyfriend (any boyfriend) than they're really comfortable with.  In Darius' case, slapping her in the face with that not only buffs the Preselection attraction, it puts her on notice to put up (or out) or shut up.

This can work in Married Game too, although you have to be far more careful.  No woman wants to be stuck with a man that none of her friends admires.  When you stop being attractive to other women, then your wife's attraction is going to dull.  But when you have tangible signs that other women are scoping you out, flirting with you and generally demonstrating interest, then a woman who doesn't jealously mate-guard is signalling to her man that she's just not that into him anymore . . . which can be the first crack in the wall of the marriage.

Mrs. Ironwood's response to the amount of female attention is classic.  She knows about preselection, and she also knows that I am deeply committed to our marriage.  I've never cheated, even when it's been tempting and I could have gotten away with it - because every time I have a flirty encounter with a woman, or she sends me (uninvited) a flirty text, I tell her about it.  I don't do it in a guilt-stricken, ashamed fashion, but I proudly boast of the attention, assure her I'm not interested, but also assure her that I'm flattered and gratified by the validation such attention gives me.

Then she sweetly kisses me, says she loves me . . . and then fucks me like she's a 19 year old porn star.  Usually she'll back over it for a solid twosie, and depending on the youth, beauty, and alleged sexual availability of the lass in question she'll add in some special tricks that only a well-married woman secure in her relationship can pull off.  By the time she's done, I'm so exhausted, sated and content that the thought of pursuing another woman is ludicrous.

When I have this kind of quality at home, why in hell would I risk anything for the illusory promise of younger women, or prettier women?  I certainly don't need the status or the inevitable awkwardness a new relationship brings, and as far as sexual experience . . . well, as a porn professional who has watched thousands of sweet young things explore their sexuality on camera, I know for a fact that the vast majority of them are - at best - mediocre lovers.  Perky titties are lovely to look at, don't get me wrong, but when it comes to pure sexual fulfillment no one knows you like your Red Pill wife.

Women are fungible.  If you are attached to one who is reluctant, or laden with excuses why she just can't manage to X, then its important to remind her that she's not the only game in town.  Women control sex, this is true, but men control commitment . . . and when things aren't going in a promising direction, a wise Red Pill man won't hesitate to indulge in some Preselection, and then remind her of her fungibility in some subtle way.

25 comments:

  1. (6th paragraph, unfinished last line?)

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    1. Just out of order, thanks for calling it to my attention.

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  2. So did Darius' girlfriend move in after this very immature and belligerent display of machismo or did she tell him to go fuck himself?

    He has a child from a former baby momma, an ex-girlfriend who turned him down for marriage (wonder why?) and he tells the new girlfriend that her "twat" is nothing special 'cuz, shit, he has hot bitches crawling all over his jock! A smart women would realize he's just looking for free maid service while she's paying half the rent and he's cheating every chance he gets.

    He is not outstanding husband material, but I'm sure he's fine for a few drinks and fucks.

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    1. They're living together quite happily, now. I wouldn't call it a "belligerant display of machismo" as much as a "justified display of frustration and accountability". When a woman continues to be coy about commitment after a man has made several invitations, there comes a point where he has to take a stand. Darius did, he didn't pussy-out, and now they're doing quite well, once she understood where he stood.

      The former ex who turned him down had some issues . . . I don't know all the details, but I believe there was some mental health concerns. He was ready to overlook them, or deal with them, but she flaked.

      I know plenty of "smart women" whose inability to listen and respect a man's perspective on a relationship who end up with no man at all. If she was willing to ditch a promising relationship because he stood up for himself, then that pretty much disqualifies her as a "smart woman". Instead she listened, they talked it out, and once she realized that he was serious she came to her senses.

      And to be honest, he IS outstanding husband material. Just because he's not ready to Beta-out at the first sign of potential doesn't mean he doesn't have the skills, tools, and talent to be a first-rate husband. But a man doesn't make that transition until he's certain that the woman in question is worthy of such a shift.

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    2. To each their own — he sounds like an emotional bully to me. She's going to be walking on eggshells with that guy. I suppose every time she displeases him in the relationship, she'll be treated to the sexting pics of all his former (and current!) booty calls as well as a furious rant complete with flying spittle. She better get a prescription for Xanax! No wonder that ex had some mental health concerns.

      There's a wide area between alpha asshole and supplicating beta; it's too bad the red pill guys see everything as so black and white, or should I say blue and red?.

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    3. We've had to adapt to that mode because feminism forced us to. If he hadn't pushed the issue, how long would she have strung him along? How long before she would have decided to overcome her "greener grass" attitude and decide that Darius was worthy? In this day and age, a man cannot sit idly by and wait for a woman to make up her mind about a commitment. WE control that. If the tables were turned and the issue was sex, then you likely wouldn't have had a problem with a woman holding a man to account about whether or not he was in or out. Darius just exercised his male prerogative to be decisive. He very easily could have pushed her out the door, had freaky sex with his booty call, and kept her in the dark about it for months. He didn't. He made a play, risked the entire relationship, and took a decisive stand.

      In other words, he displayed LEADERSHIP in the relationship, and gave her the opportunity to follow him or withdraw. Simple as that. She made her choice. She seems happy with it.

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  3. oh my god. If my boyfriend had that many women texting him like that there's no way it was unsolicited. I would've been out of there.
    Also, child from previous relationship is a liability, not an asset, even if it's less so for a guy. It's still a drain on your own family's resources.

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    1. A child isn't necessarily a liability - some women are as into a ready-made family (especially if it's part-time) as some men. And Darius wouldn't have pursued her seriously for a relationship if his kid didn't like her.

      And no, those texts weren't unsolicited - but he was single for the last year or two, and took full advantage of it. The interest doesn't stop just because he's suddenly in a relationship. Plenty of women get positively inspired when they hear that one of their faithful booty calls is no longer on the market. It challenges their femininity and sexuality - preselection works both ways.

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  4. Question Ian,
    How long were they dating and were they intimate before he put the proposition on the table?

    Practicallyperfect

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  5. I *love* this. Way to go Darius.

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  6. I agree with Liz the kid is a liability. Not just because he/she is a drain on resources but because "The Babies Mama" is going to be in your life too. Every holiday, birthday, vacation and celebration she will have to be considered.
    Practicallyperfect

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    1. Finding a dude with no baggage after he's 30 is nigh impossible. The kid is great, he's one of Bob (my youngest son's) best friends, and Darius makes BANK, so resources aren't much problem. The baby mama and he have a cordial, well-structured relationship without too much drama. As such things go, it ain't all that bad. That's just life in the post-feminist world.

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    2. In my position I have seen a lot of divorce and remarries and you're absolutely right about no baggage after 30, and honestly I don't consider a child baggage, just the mama.
      There is nothing more enduring than watching a father with his kids. However I counsel my daughter and the young women who come to me about the realities of life, and that means dealing with another woman's child is like walking a tight rope for any stepparent be they male or female. In addition to, as stated earlier, having to always accommodate or consider another adults request in your life plans other than your SO is not what most people envision when they enter a relationship. Mixed families may be the norm or even a necessity today, but it should not be and that's what I'm working for. I truly wish Darius and his son the best. With a friend like you watching out for them I'm sure they are in good hands.

      Practicallyperfect

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  7. I don't disagree with the anything in the post but jeez if I had been Darius' girlfriend, my first call after that conversation would be to set up an STD screening for both of us. The fact that his (multiple) "nsa booty calls" are so skanky would be a major turnoff for me. I would assume that he has herpes at the very minimum (spreads even with condom use, tests for it are pretty unreliable, it's also rampant). Also agree with others that an out-of-wedlock kid marks him as a lower status man (don't agree that it's right, but it's reality).

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    1. He's in healthcare. He wraps that rascal. Since I work at the Great Condom Factory, I make sure all my peeps are covered. And there are PLENTY of women who see a kid from a previous relationship as a good sign. He might not have the highest status in the world, but I'd damn sure let my imaginary sister date him.

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    2. I'm sure he's a great guy and knowledgeable in his field but herpes (and HPV) spread even when you wear a condom (because the virus can transmit from skin-to-skin contact in the areas the condom doesn't cover). Did he wear a condom during blow jobs with all these "freaks"? A dental dam for her when he went down on her? Doubt it. Sorry for the tangent but herpes doesn't care if you have game.

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    3. Have you ever heard of the "Cinderella syndrome"? It is a legit psych problem- stepparents abusing their step kids because they aren't theirs and end up emotionally and sometimes physically abusing them. It happens more often than you think- up to 85% of the time. Most of the time the stepparent in question does not even realize what he/she is doing. I would never let my child around a potential stepparent unless we had a deep connection with LOTS of mutual respect and they would have to adore my daughter- something you don't find very often. Cheating on my partner and disrespecting her as a human being would cause resentment which would lead to inevitable abuse; even though she is "only" a girl I am sure you can see that any abuse of a child is a bad thing and a responsible parent would not only want to be a good example for their kid, but make sure they are in a safe environment. Not only that, I would never want my daughter to end up with a man who behaves the way "Darius the dildo" does. Why? Because I want her to be happy. I am very sorry you have had some horrible experiences with women but I can assure you they are not all attention-grubbing skanks. My sister is a helicopter pilot for the Army, my cousin is a veterinarian and my Grandma was a Nurse back in the good ol' days of lobotomies and electroshock. They are incredibly self-sacrificing and kind. Believe me, I would notice if they were manipulative and skanky. By grouping all women into one category- BAD- and limiting your behavior to cretinism you are missing out, man. But, hey. Some of us are able to get laid AND get chicks to love us based on not only our looks and cock- but on our PERSONALITIES- something I have a feeling you're missing.

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    4. You're making a large assumption about Darius' personality based on one response to a very specific situation: a shit test in which his woman was trying to have her cake and eat it. He's got a great personality . . . but he understands female psychology well enough to know when he's being played, and he DID something about it. He held her to account, pointed out her position, and suggested that her action (or inaction) had consequences. The manner in which he did it was decidedly masculine: calm, well-delivered, and shocking enough to get her attention.

      I do not lump all women into one category, and if that's what you think you need to read my blog more. You're missing a lot. My advice (and that of other Red Pill bloggers) isn't based necessarily on our bad experiences with women - Mrs. Ironwood still gives me shit-tests from time to time, and I respond accordingly. It doesn't mean she's evil, it means she's female, and she's also blissfully happy in our relationship. She wouldn't be if I didn't take a strong lead on most subjects. If you want your daughter to "be happy", then I suggest she find a dude who is willing to do the hard work to keep her so: not by capitulating to her every whim and throwing her goodies, but by taking responsibility for the relationship and standing up for his own (and their mutual) interests with vigor.

      Personality of course plays a role . . . but the world is littered with broken men who did not have the fortitude or training to deal with such shit-tests. That's what we're aiming to correct here.

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  8. I can't think of a man I've met in my entire life who is a good enough catch for me to take him up on that "generous" offer of commitment (I'm assuming they were not exclusive at this point). Sounds like there was a good reason she was dragging her feet. I love the content here, but I don't get this at all. Honestly, his tantrum would have scared me off.

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  9. These mental gymnasyics sound exhausting... to be forever locked in some kind of mind fuck battle of the sexes. I suppose this does the job, you are either in or you are out. But to know that your partner is always ready and willing to play chicken (man or women) doesn't seem like real commitment or stability.

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    1. Don't forget that Darius and his woman are still at the beginning stages of their relationship; in a more mature situation, these issues are usually long-settled, and official or unofficial policies have been established. If you see it as a constant struggle, you've picked the wrong woman. Don't pick the wrong woman. And when you pick the right woman, don't backslide on your practice. It's no more struggle than riding a bike, once you get the wheels going.

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  10. It's like Darius has lived my life before me:

    A little background: Seth (not his real name, of course) is pretty swell guy. That is, he's in his mid 20s, he's a healthcare professional making very good money, owns his own car (not hot, but new), rents a nice little house, has no debt, and he's got that great balance of Alpha and Beta that makes panties damp the world around. Good looking, too, from a few feet away.

    Seth has never been a player in the past, even though he works in a female dominated field, because he has always understood the fickle, hypergamous nature of women. He travels a lot (Europe 4 times last year), dresses well, and so his single Game is generally OK (he's young, cut him some slack). He isn't a committed bachelor, however: he's looking for the right woman, as he's ready to settle down. He has no baggage from his past, a wholesome family upbringing, and he would be adept at fathering. All in all, OUTSTANDING Husband Material.

    Eventually Seth met a girl, one who had some real potential. Problem was, she was hesitant about committing, for whatever reason. Whether she was playing coy, genuinely confused, or just inherently cautious about commitment (in this case the commitment involved nothing more than committing to an exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend relationship), thanks to Seth's previous observations of the testimonies from the Manosphere, he knew not to take that kind of crap. Usually the dude is as nice and soft-spoken and charming as you could ask. But when the subject of her taking the relationship up a notch came up recently, she again demurred.

    Seth had enough.

    Blue Pill doctrine calls for the man to quietly slink away and change the subject in such a situation, then shower her with gifts and appease her utterly in an attempt to convince her. As most of us know, this rarely leads to a desirable outcome. If the woman is persuaded, then the resulting relationship is replete with strings and conditions, and the progress from their is treacherous at best.

    Instead Seth used a cast-iron Red Pill technique: the Hard Sell.

    When this girl demurred, Seth whipped out his smartphone and started showing her pictures . . . of other girls who had offered to dated him. As luck would have it, one of these girls look like Nicole Kiddman, and is pretty fucking hot and has a great set of tits. Seth showed her the picture and said in a very calm, low, unexcited voice (I'm paraphrasing here):

    "See her? She's hot. You are not nearly as good looking, but what I like about you is things that she will never have, in here *pokes her head* and here *pokes her chest*. So while you're dinking around with whether or not you should be in a relationship with me, I could be dating any number of these beautiful women. What you are doing right now is losing me. When I go home, what memories do you want to leave me with? That you wanted to have a relationship with me and let me know you liked me, or that when faced with a simple question you tried to distract me?"

    "I'm showing you this not to piss you off, but to demonstrate that I have fucking options. I'm not going to wait around while you decide just how valuable you are, and whether or not I measure up to your standards. There are many girls I could have been seeing, and I could have been spending my time and money (worth thousands of USD, btw) being with and entertaining them instead. You're sweet, I really like you, and I really want to spend more time together . . . but if you aren't willing to make this move, then we need to go ahead and move on."

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  11. Of course she was shocked, stunned, and surprised by such a direct approach . . . but she got the message: You Have No Special Powers. There are billions of perfectly acceptable girls out there, and if you are not attentive or if you are unwilling to follow this man's lead, then you'll be dumped overboard and the next in a long line of possible future Mrs. Seth's will take your place.

    She was offended, too, no doubt - but he'd made his point.

    She went with Seth to the airport and made a Big Deal about giving him a Kiss on the Cheek goodbye, but weeks later, she hadn't thought to invest any more time or to show Seth that she was truly interested in his offer (an offer that she will probably never get again in her life).

    But that's OK, because Seth immediately started dating other girls as soon as he got back home. And while this girl and Seth occasionally reach out on social media (including some attempted Skype calls from Seth, never answered), it is obvious to him that she is delegating herself the role of "amusing side project until some other girl comes along".

    As an aside, I was dating other girls, but liked this one the best. I would not have taken her to the airport had it not been to be polite for a third party, a grandmotherly figure and the fount of all of these nubile women. The girl seems to believe she still has a shot with me, but I've been dating/skyping/wooing other women with little thought to what she would think (after all, we know this girl has an extremely low chance of getting her ass in gear and back on the boat).

    The question for the men's gallery is such.

    Do I string this girl along for a few months, maker think she's got me, and when I get back fuck her a few times and THEN tell her the truth of the matter? Or do I cut her loose?

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    1. Take the high ground, cut her loose.

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