Friday, April 5, 2013

Girl Game: Stalking the Wild Sigma


Vox had a commenter who expressed a deep interest in Sigmas, bucking the Alpha trend.  I approve, of course, being a Sigma who has learned to present Alpha when I want.  It gives me some insight on the subject.  Sigmas are not rare in the wild, but they are uncommon.  And they are uncommonly intriguing mates.  Some have expressed that Sigmas are a kind of mythical unicorn.

But Sigmas aren't unicorns.  They're centaurs.



Sigmas are a mystery by design, and in their immature form can resemble hapless Betas, misguided Gammas, or even a desperate Omega, for short periods of time.  That is because they don't come by social skills naturally, they usually have to observe and consciously integrate them.  Especially about sex.  The immature Sigma can stumble and flail wildly with this subject in his early years because he hasn't yet discovered a comprehensive set of instructions on how to properly dip his wick (i.e. Game), but the desire to do so is very much there.

Hence the centaur.

The centaur represents the cthonic combination of the primal strength and majesty of the horse with the manual dexterity, intelligence and reason of a man.  In mythology, centaurs were either rapacious beasts or wise counselors, or some combination of the two.  That's a Sigma: incredible passion and incredible intellect.  In an immature Sigma, the Beast often rules, to disastrous result.  As the Sigma matures, however, he tames his passion with reason, intellect, skill and education, essentially harnessing the beast to his command.  A Sigma who develops self-mastery transforms from a clumsy, earnest, and often-misunderstood young man into a powerful and versatile mature man.  And that versatility is key.

Mature Sigmas can develop the ability of inserting themselves into any social situation and find the place where their skills and abilities will do the most good.  If there is no better leader available, a Sigma can display very strong Alpha characteristics.  If a more-natural leader is available, a Sigma is content to fade back and advise in Beta mode, rather than contend for leadership.  If there are leaders aplenty, then the Sigma will often step up as a mediator and negotiator.  And if things are running smoothly, a Sigma is often
content to accept a very minor role, but one which affords him an opportunity to still have subtle influence and a wide field of observation.

He is not afraid to use deception and misdirection, and his subtlety is often mistaken for passive-aggression by those unfamiliar with his methods.  He can even mimic a Gamma Rabbit or uber-pathetic Omega, if it suits his purposes

The good news?  If you catch them young and care for them properly, a mature Sigma also has the capability of morphing into an extremely powerful Wolf Alpha or Bear Alpha (though rarely a Bull Alpha) with the right woman.  Some of the most devoted family men I know are Sigmas-cum-Alphas.  When a Sigma sets his mind to do something, he often submerges himself in it . . . and if you can get him to do that with wife and family, its as good as hitting the Dude Lotto.

Sigmas are the Gandalfs, the Merlins, the Spocks.  They are the men of skill and quiet, men of deep thought and calculation who seek not their own aggrandizement (although they have powerful egos) but the prosperity and success of themselves and those around them.  A Sigma who has mastered himself often turns toward using his talents to a greater goal, inspiring people with his passion and persuading them with his reason.

Mature Sigmas like to get things done . . . by getting other people to do them.  Enthusiastically.

The best places to find the immature Sigma in the wild often revolve around obscure and esoteric subjects, such as origami, comic books, robotics, technology, science, art, history, gaming, music, etc.  All of the great disciplines of Nerdology.  Sigmas are slow to commit, but once they do they tend to go all-in.  They often seem petty or shallow at first, as they test and probe and try to figure you out.  Don't let it shake you.  They're watching everything you do with the calculating mind of a supercomputer.  Sigmas tend to prefer women who don't get rattled easily and who are not high maintenance, so displaying either of these will get you dropped.

Sigmas like to think their way out of problems.  If one suddenly appears at your elbow, and you're interested and want to hook him, a woman's best counter-line is to propose a challenge involving skill or intelligence, and promise an increase in intimacy as a result.  Be ultra-cautious with your presentation at first, as Sigmas tend to be skittish and will often bolt if they feel things aren't going well (it's a cost-benefit analysis sort of thing, don't take it personally).

But don't rely exclusively on your mind to intrigue him - don't forget that big smelly beast with the eighteen-inch equine phallus lurking under the brainy exterior.  Sigmas are calculating opportunists.  If you extend an invitation he can accept, he'll be on like a pot of neckbones.  Or just show him some boob.  Sometimes we're that easy.

A woman must be willing to tolerate some idiosyncratic behavior from a Sigma, sometimes bordering on the neurotic.  Luckily it's rarely dangerous or unhealthy - more "quirky" or "eccentric".

Sigmas get bored easily in relationships, so if you are not up to near-constant intellectual challenge, you might want to find a nice Beta who likes sports.  Keeping him intellectually stimulated is as important as keeping him erotically stimulated, or he can lose interest.  If you can combine the two, so much the better.  Many Sigmas are secret freaks in the bedroom, expressing their lustful passions with intense intellectual vigor.

What kind of woman is a Sigma seeking?  While that varies greatly, in general a Sigma wants a trustworthy companion, an intriguing and inventive playmate, an intellectual equal willing to debate him passionately without taking it personally, a woman who is capable of being self-sufficient but who sees the advantages of a union and is not afraid of making that case.  Sigmas are wary of entanglements, but appreciate a straightforward proposition despite their enjoyment of subtlety.  Sigmas may marry late, and often vet a woman far beyond what a normal Alpha or Beta will.

The wife of a Sigma should be understanding of his peculiarities and appreciate them as features, not bugs.  Trying to change a Sigma around the way you want him is an effort doomed to failure.  You might think you got what you want, but more than likely he's fooling you.  Sigmas often attract attention from other females without realizing it - if they don't know Game, then they don't often recognize clear IoI's.  A woman who marries a Sigma should be prepared to mate-guard as needed, but with the understanding that (if he's happy in the sexual end of things) he likely has little interest in pursuing an affair.



Emotionally, Sigmas can seem very distant . . . but when they do open up and connect, they do so unreservedly and sometimes overwhelmingly.  They use humor and misdirection and verbal wittiness to maneuver their ways through social situations, and can often appear very charming and confident.

Remember that Sigmas are adept at masks, and the truth is under that mask there is a beast and a man.

Cater to both, and you can ride him off into the sunset.



64 comments:

  1. I'm afraid that most women are too dumb to look beyond the Alpha/Beta distinction.

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    1. no we aren't all dumb.. some of us observed men more critically...

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  2. I think most Sigmas are INTJs....which are extraordinarily rare.

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    1. INFJ....TJ's are too calculated and not passionate enough.

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    2. After reading all the different types and correlation of data. I can really relate to this myself as a INFJ male.

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    3. I agree, also INFJ male.

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  3. INTP's can also fall into this category.

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    1. I have never known an INTP Sigma. They'd like to think they were... They are usually Gammas.

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  4. Spot on. The sigma is the one singing in counterpoint, not melody or harmony but his own different but consonant tune.

    The description reminds me of Kolbe's Conative Connection's "Facilitator" that can either lead or follow, direct or consolidate, without any instruction. They see where a counterweight is necessary and do what is needed.

    Sigmas are testing everything, mainly the silly rules. Almost like debugging and stress testing a computer program. A woman looking for a sigma might want to try to stand out in some way from the flock of chicks, but in the same sense of counterpoint, not dissonance. Independent, not antisocial.

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  5. It was REALLY weird reading this article. It describes me to a 'T'...good and bad. Freaky.

    Incidentally, I'm an INTP

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    1. INTP here as well, and this describes me fairly accurate.

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    2. I'd say most ENTP's are like this. The N makes us eccentric and the T allows us to be above the curve and exploit the group mentality. I;d say we are the Tyler Durden sub-type of Sigma's, we create groups and disappear when we have what we need.

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  6. INTP here also. Same reaction.

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  7. INTP, and yup. Scarily close.

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  8. INTP/J ... and yes very close too. As I was reading it I thought I had found my real type.
    Very true in the seeking the intellectual challenge part.

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  9. All you INTJ's aren't going to hog this Sigma party. ISFP here, a rare fucking leprechaun indeed, and sigma to the bone marrow.

    Ian, how about some game & charisma info FOR sigmas instead of for our dames?

    Or, maybe your whole dang blog is a sigma reference.

    Cheers,

    Revo

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  10. "The best places to find the immature Sigma in the wild often revolve around obscure and esoteric subjects, such as origami, comic books, robotics, technology, science, art, history, gaming, music, etc. All of the great disciplines of Nerdology."

    Sorry but those are best places to find gammas. Just like these commenters claiming to be sigmas are gammas.

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    1. I'll trust my own judgement on that. There are clear differences between Gammas and Sigmas, and if you can't spot the difference pretty quickly then you need to be more observant.

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    2. I gotta admit, that was my first reaction. Most of the people I've known who liked to think they were sigmas were lesser Betas or even Omegas.

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  11. Self-assessed, INTP. I always, from a young age had a high disdain for authority, even when I myself was generally a "good kid." I got caught in a hacking incident with my high school's mini-computer (a PDP 11/70 running RSTS/E!) in the early 1980s.

    In those immature days I was painfully shy to a degree few would understand, yet from high school on, I really had no problem attracting women. Didn't understand them. Stayed aloof from them, all while being very interested in them. Did my own thing. And I had my own thing. Was very lonely, but very used to it.

    Finally got involved in an interesting social circle in college. Sparked a massive amount of desire (not just attraction or interest; lots and lots of desire) in women, and not just in that circle either (something I'm writing about). Still stayed mostly aloof, doing my own thing.

    Only now, in my 40s, in a very rocky marriage (having super-beta-cized myself), did I learn about Game. But it was my earlier experiences that helped me grok it so quickly. Which has helped not just my marriage, but also my relationships with my children as well.

    I looked at Game immediately as a sort of reprogramming a personality. As a programmer (a pretty good one, I think), it made an innate sense to me.

    I read a book in college that touched on this subject. Programming and Metaprogramming the Human Biocomputer by John Lilly. He was somewhat considered a crackpot. Definitely not class reading. Funny how the book is quite valuable today. Makes me wish I didn't sell it.

    Anyway...that's all that Game is. Game is but one form of mental reprogramming, and a very beneficial one to boot.

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  12. Gamma-Sigma, Alpha-beta or all the other letter of the Greek alphabet. The real question is : If you aren't compatible or in a relation that don't bring you anything, are you ready to walk away? Even before having ever heard of game did you say : I'm tired of your crap I'm walking out. And not even for some major red flag like massively crazy but simply for disrespecting you or someone in your family?

    If you have, your probably someone who's not scared to be alone to walk the path. Maybe your not wildly successful with woman or don't want to be. But if you kick yourself in the ass you can do a lot more than people who are afraid. Afraid of what? Losing what they hope to have. People are afraid to lose and it freeze them; it stop them from going forward and hit the wall until they find a way to go beyond it.

    You can be scared shitless, But you can go beyond that for thing that you hold dear to you : family, kid, belief, yourself.

    When people heard you say that you will do something and they move to let you do it or hop in with you, you have people respect. You have the potential to be a leader among man.

    Is it sigma or alpha or something else? It's simply be a man that want the best in himself and in other.

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  13. I wanted to add that a lot of your description rang true for me personally.

    I really identified with this quote of yours (below). I was just riffing on that idea of instructions as a type of programming. And that internalizing Game is quite literally about molding personality. Pretty powerful stuff, actually. The additional sex is definitely a nice benefit!

    The immature Sigma can stumble and flail wildly with this subject in his early years because he hasn't yet discovered a comprehensive set of instructions on how to properly dip his wick (i.e. Game), but the desire to do so is very much there.

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  14. I generally like your blog, but man this is so bad it's funny. You turned the sigma into an astrological symbol. You've got the cheesy description of attributes and the mythological beast avatar.

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    1. You mean "I took a a socio-sexual rank and expanded on it through use of mythology, metaphor, and a greater understanding of the complexities of the socio-sexual marketplace than the average dweeb."

      Corrected. And the centaur is not an "astrological beast", any more than a crab is. A centaur managed to get in the stars, but the mythology and importance of the centaur as a mythological creature, from the instructions of Chiron to some of their more rapaciaous episodes, demonstrates the dual nature of the Sigma better than another metaphor.

      Sorry if that seems "so bat its funny". I guess they haven't covered Greek Myth at your community college yet.

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  15. Hmmm. While I appreciate the insight into the behaviors of a sigma, this is not the most actionable of posts in your "Girl Game" series. I guess I should keep going to STEM lectures and craft beer bars trolling for men who can make eye contact? Salsa? Check. The quiet gentlemen at Crossfit? Check.

    I am a sigmaphile. I met a mature sigma through online dating (fluke?). While I failed to maintain his interest, your post crystallized what I've been struggling with since. Textbook alphas aren't doing it for me. Sapiophilia strikes again.

    Is there such a thing as a sigma-widow?

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  16. Holy crap. Never seen Sigma explained so thoroughly, nor had my own tendencies described so well, from learning social skills from the outside, to picking up or laying down leadership as if it were a tool, to having an unusual relationship with emotion. Like Factory said, it was a strange experience reading it. Thanks.

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  17. I'm not sure if I qualify as a pure sigma since I'm not really sexually successful, however I find myself to harbor many of sigmas qualities. I have a severe lack of emotion but sometimes expressing great passive/active aggression just for the sake of fucking with people or just being unpredictable. I have a great many intellectual activities and I also frequently try to figure people out and push their buttons.

    Since I'm in my young twenties I'm still growing into this role and discovering manosphere has greatly accelerated my learning of what I call "manipulation skills", a great passion of mine.

    I like to stay alone, I'm at the moment well educated and constantly strive to better myself physically and mentally but for no reason other than be better. I've had some intense bouts of nihilism and have come to some personal conclusion about this life. Although unpleasant I think it propelled me greatly in thought.

    This about self-learned social skills is especially true, I remember being shy/socially overwhelmed in the years leading to college/university and just staying emotionally vacant, now I'm still pretty emotionally dead but at least I'm not shy and I can fake emotions and get the right behavioral output from people with the right emotional input. I also score pretty high (80-90%) in sociopathic and machiavellian on sociopathic/machiavellian/narcissist tests and can attest to being really manipulative. In retrospect I was severely sociopathic in early childhood (my family frequently brings up some hurtful actions of mine for comedic value) but never without control (likely because of superior/abnormal frontal lobe). Now that I recognize the power of this, I'm of course using it to my benefit.

    Since going gradually from shy to, I guess, distant aloof attitude I've been getting some serious attraction signals from women who are visibly attracted and intrigued and in some cases nervous (generally from low/medium-value women) by my actions. In the last months it's been absurd.

    Now, why am I writing this. I guess I just had to share my viewpoint and maybe hope for some advice. Should I stay alone (it's really nice not to depend on anyone) with a random encounter to satisfy sexual needs or try to "connect" emotionally (run game) with a woman for the gain of sex. Sounds like a low efficiency/time ratio for my enjoyment. It's hard enough to connect intelligently with women as it is.

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  18. You are not sigma if you are not sexually successful. As Vox himself has noted, introvert who is not sexually successful is most likely a gamma.

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    4. What if you're an asexual? Duh

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  19. This is awesome. Great post. I haven't taken the Myers Briggs in while, but this fits me.

    The most humorous trend I notice around the manosphere are the people accusing others of being Beta/Gama/Omega etc, as if putting other men down will make them an Alpha. Guess what guys? If you are so insecure that you have to brag about being an Alpha...you aren't an Alpha. It cracks me up...

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    1. EXACTLY!! Drives me nuts..

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  20. ISTJ with slight INTJ leanings, both with MBTI and Jungian Cognitive Functions.

    Had some success with the women.

    Seems almost scarily like myself. But then, I try to take this with a grain of salt - my own thoughts re MBTI are what even I consider a little oddball and unusual. As in, some ways I do not trust what can potentially be considered to be the pop psychology of our times. (From a future perspective.)

    Interesting, though.

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  21. What this "sigma male" designation essentially describes is a socially adapted, hybrid primary-charismatic, idiopathic (natural-born) psychopath (altnough not a sociopath, because that's essentially someone who has been damaged or has developed antisocial personality traits due to environmental factors). Counter to popular belief, true psychopaths can feel some emotions, just not strongly and generally very rarely to their detriment. Otherwise, the beast-man beneath the mask, the dominant manipulativeness, the calculation, the magnetism of personality . . . all these describe traits of what biologically generated but well-adapted psychopaths exhibit. And trust me on this subject, I am intimately familiar with such individuals.

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  22. Nice post. I hadn't heard of the Sigma designation in that context. Though like others above, I'd argue that it's too easy a refuge for gammas to lurk in denial.

    I like the unicorn reference in the first paragraph. I've been breathlessly called 'a fucking unicorn' before (which I shrugged off as flattery or innuendo) but now I know to correct them: no, Miss. Centaur.

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  23. As Vox has been discussing lately, gammas have much in common with common femininity, and denial (and other hamsterbation) is no small part of that. However, the obvious, objective, and demonstrated ability to have success with women is the acid test, and there shall be no rodent wheels spun to make excuses about it. We all know the score, and alphas in particular can practically smell the difference.

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  24. Sure, I also felt identified. Only after the initial pump I realized this was like astrology: a delusional wannabe.

    Who the hell doesn't want to think he's a fucking centaur with a huge hose to ride women and a greek-sculpted body?

    "Nah, dude, I'm not an insecure guy with some sex deficit. I am just a wild Sigma, an extremely rare type with high innate intelligence and an unexploited feral sexual beast inside".

    I take the Sigma either.

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  25. Calling ALL sigmas out there: Check out mguy's blog at http://scienceofmack.blogspot.com/ (Rise of the Sigma Male). Stop by, visit and comment or at least subscribe and tell your sigma brethren about it and follow the developments. Add to the discussion or expansion of the blog and SPREAD AWARENESS OF THIS SITE. IT DEALS WITH ALL THE KINDS OF ISSUES AND SUBJECTS RELATING TO SIGMA MALES. More input is needed.

    Join the Brotherhood of the Sigma and seek out each other to make a difference. Keep in the scoop. Thanks.

    You too Mr. Ironwood!

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  26. Sigma males are badasses fuck everybody else

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    1. I guess you're somehow way too general to SIGMAS; though sigmas were people also, typically lone people who wanted and just needed to opt things the mainstream society does... they do hve their UNIQUE way.. such ALPHAS, OMEGAS and BETAS do had too.

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  27. I can't help but think that this category was created largely to accommodate for the idiosyncratic introverted type unwilling to face up to his deficiencies, although perhaps there is a fine line between 'Gamma' and 'Sigma'. None of the aforementioned mental masturbation detracts from the fact that women are, during ovulation, attracted predominantly to *physically and hormonally masculine* men and this has never really applied to me. In all fairness, I'm likely a Gamma or Omega, but the points about being passionate, competitive and immersing oneself into their interests are also very true. If I grew a pair and matured, I'd probably end up something like this. At least, it feels more natural than the insecure Betas pounding on their chest and trying to belittle others to make themselves look Alpha. I have no problem assuming a position of authority if I feel competent, though my interests, despite their propensity to change like the wind, are usually both narrow in scope and intense in focus.

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  28. Interesting article. I find that at times I have been all the male 'types' at one point or another.. I guess it depends who else is around when you emerge as a type. Around the president of the USA, all men who are typically alphas would become betas in that context, for example.

    As for distinguishing gamma from sigma, from what I read of the game, sexual conquests don't necessarily separate them. A gamma with no standards WILL match the poon count of a sigma that only dates the hottest models. I guess in that case, the QUALITY of the women is the measuring stick, and that's a little less scientific than a count.

    I think the more distinguishing characteristic is awareness. I don't think a gamma knows he's a gamma (or does and is too pussy, or dumb, to do anything about it), but a sigma ultimately knows what's going on and calculates everything to his advantage. A sigma doesn't give a fuck who gives him orders.. and might even be a complete dick and do the opposite just to fuck with the chain of command, if it benefitted him in some way. To me, THAT is the more distinguishing trait, not the number of conquests.

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  29. INFJ Sigma... Liking this... was getting tired of all this either you are an Alpha or Beta bullshit.

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  30. Friend, I loved your piece...you just described me to a T.

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  31. ENTJ sigma here. There is no glory being the leader of fools.

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  32. Whoever wrote this is punking omega and gamma snowflakes into thinking they're something speal. Vox is both right and wrong: His socio-sexual hierarchy is based strictly on n count and if you're going to rank yourself on his (or Rous
    Roush or any PUA) scale, n count is the criteria. But, Vox is wrong in that number of bedded women does not make the measure of a man. A man who is a virgin can lead other men with more authority than a guy who has slept with hundreds of women. A slut's opinion of a man means nothing.
    I say this because Christ was the ultimate Alpha and yet his n count was zero.

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    1. Hardly. See my post on the Three Alphas. This shit requires a little more sophistication than n count.

      And Jesus had all the Alpha washed out of him by the Church. Perhaps if he hadn't, I'd still be Christian.

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  33. Sigmas don't exist.

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    1. Please explain the logic underlying that conclusion.

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  34. Only sigmas are to exist.. too sad of the evolution yielding the rest types!
    hehehe... world is as lonely as a wolf!!

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  35. Outstanding article.I wish it was written for the female sigma but it is pretty much the same.

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  36. Hey, so I am an INFJ woman who just took this test (http://www.quiztron.com/tests/socio-sexual_hierarc_quiz_193262.htm) for fun, scored as Sigma, and now has been researching Sigmas... Coming across this description. Pretty cool. ;P

    Regarding the MBTI, the most common type for Sigma is ISTP. Followed by some confident INTJ and INFJ, sometimes the occasionally more withdrawn ENTJ guys. However, the regular (unhealthy) INTJ or INFJ tends to be Gamma (thinking they were Sigma), unfortunately. Sandman is a good example of this kind of INTJ dude, believing he was Sigma while actually being Gamma. Trust me, this is coming from a woman who has familiarized herself with the "Red Pill".

    And INTPs... Sorry to burst your bubble, with they are most commonly Gamma when unhealthy/cynical or the more easygoing Beta, when confident. Hardcore anti-social INTPs become Omega. Some of them are also Delta. But I have not known any true Sigma INTPs.

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  37. One good example of a Sigma male is Geralt from The Witcher trilogy.

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  38. Very useful article - Sigmas exist, they are alive, well and walk among us. Recently came across one sigma and boy, do they love their mind games! For around a month we were almost inseparable and he did open up to me, at least I think. It was intense, overwhelmingly so as you describe. I got the chance to observe his behaviour, understand it almost and even become an accomplice. It was fun watching others squirm at his endless mental torture. Challenging alphas was a game to him and often it went unnoticed. See thing is with this guy, he was happy to play the underdog: kind, polite, soft spoken. It's easy for others to dismiss him but under all of that lie, well, a beast, able to shred his opponent mercilessly yet surreptitiously.
    On the flipside, I didn't find him to be this sexual animal you allude to. In fact, I thought quite the opposite, not so much in touch with his sexuality, happy to be dominated, apart from in his speech. Could this have been one of his many masks? Ah well, who cares...
    This man decided to shut down when I called him out for turning his game on me. Is this a big no no with Sigmas, are they actually not able to help themselves?
    FYI I am an INTP woman


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  39. Mature Sigmas can develop the ability of inserting themselves into any social situation and find the place where their skills and abilities will do the most good. If there is no better leader available, a Sigma can display very strong Alpha characteristics. If a more-natural leader is available, a Sigma is content to fade back and advise in Beta mode, rather than contend for leadership. If there are leaders aplenty, then the Sigma will often step up as a mediator and negotiator. And if things are running smoothly, a Sigma is often
    content to accept a very minor role, but one which affords him an opportunity to still have subtle influence and a wide field of observation.

    pretty much describe my social life as intp guy

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  40. Guys. I'm a female.. guess I don't have a hundred percent perspective of what men do think or does. And I don't mind if the world today is mixed up with hierarchies... BUT THE THING IS- WE STILL NEED A HANDFUL OF "BALANCE" IN SOCIETY. WEIHING THINGS BETWEEN THESE ARE MUCH MORE BETTER THAN HAVING NONE! WE WERE CIVILIZED BUT NOT ALL THOUGHT CIVILIZATION IN THEIR MINDS. THAT'S ALL THERE.

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