tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-45147915711091981622024-03-18T17:15:26.334-04:00The Red Pill Room<i>Blogging For An Ascendant Manosphere</i>Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.comBlogger203125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-7349530364779481772017-08-26T10:01:00.002-04:002017-08-26T10:01:21.587-04:00Please Stand By . . . <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com86tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-79933943759680061522015-05-15T14:14:00.003-04:002015-05-15T14:19:08.930-04:00The Rational Feminist Unicorn<div class="tr_bq">
After five years of carefully and cautiously - okay, perhaps not that cautiously - but deliberately attempting to elicit a reasonable, rational response from feminism to the issues of the Manosphere, I may have finally found my unicorn.</div>
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Here's the backstory: I occasionally indulge in some friendly Twitter engagement with feminists, taking a strong anti-feminist position. I'm openly and un-apologetically acting as an agent provocateur, Understand, while this may be seen as trolling, I am extremely polite in my engagements with feminists and never cross the line into "bullying". That doesn't mean that some don't get hurt feelings, but in most cases that was a pre-existing condition.<br />
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Now, while many of you will shake your heads over the utility or the practicality of attempting such engagement, I do so for higher purpose, not just because I like yanking pigtails. I'm not there to make feminists mad, I'm there to challenge and give honest criticism, to make them think more than to make them angry. I'm laying out, in as practical and simple terms as I can, why the Manosphere and men in general have taken issue with feminism, as it has presented itself. I've done this over and over again, searching for a unicorn: a feminist who is willing to look past the rhetoric of the feminist movement and address the issues with it that men and the Manosphere have.<br />
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Why would I want to do such a perverse thing? While it would be much easier to just hurl mindless vitriol, as I said, I'm not into yanking pigtails for fun. My goal is to actually open some sort of reasonable dialog between the two spheres.<br />
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So, after responding to a fairly reasonable post by a young feminist woman who was confused and upset by the anger she detected from the anti-feminist movement on the #HowToSpotAFeminist hashtag which started to get meme-y (and then posting my reply to as many retweeters of the original as I could find) a bold feminist unicorn stood forth from the herd, and responded on her blog.<br />
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To avoid any miscommunication, <a href="http://quillaquiver.com/2015/05/14/my-response-to-an-anti-feminist/" target="_blank">I'd like to reprint her post in its entirety before I respond:</a><br />
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<blockquote>
Hi Ian,</blockquote>
<blockquote>
thanks for your thoughtful response! I appreciate your civil discourse and lack of ad hominem attacks. Seriously. </blockquote>
<blockquote>
Due to your lack of actual citation beyond the link to a blog post that itself looks at largely anecdotal data, I will also respond using broad strokes and summaries. I can provide factual citation and data from research on historical trends from non-biased sources as requested, if necessary. Also, while gender and sexuality are multivariate, not binary, in order to most directly and efficiently respond to your letter, I will mostly be talking about feminism in largely binary terms. </blockquote>
<blockquote>
So, I see your hurt feelings. They are true and valid. I will not dispute that they exist. However, I think that there’s some conflation going on assigning causality in incorrect ways. I am not saying that nothing was done, or that no one did anything. Things were done. People did them. But from where I’m standing, there’s been some conflation of separate entities in what all went down. </blockquote>
<blockquote>
Yes, feminism has pointed out that there are issues that exist with men, masculinity, fatherhood, and male sexuality. It has not, however, said that those categories are the issues. They have the issues. And lots of those issues have affected women at a systemic and subsequently individual level. Yes, women, femininity, motherhood, and female sexuality also have issues. And those issues have affected men on a systemic and subsequently individual level. But feminism posits, with the whole of history that I won’t repeat here to back it up, that men’s issues have had the harder hit, when it comes to the way society has shown bruises. The phrase “it’s a man’s world” is an incredibly crude phrase, but it is a good summary of what the main problem throughout history has boiled down to. </blockquote>
<blockquote>
You say that feminism has not been inclusive of men’s issues. I say that this is an unfair critique. Every activist movement only has so many resources to go around. You wouldn’t criticize a puppy rescue for not seeing to the homeless kittens out there, too. It’s not their scope. Do they care about kittens? Yes. Do they want organizations to exist to get the kittens help? Yes. Do they think that by addressing the cause of homeless pets while working specifically with the target population of puppies their work will also help kittens? Yes. When they go out to the public to talk about their mission, are they going to use their limited time and resources to talk about kittens? No. Feminism works on the overall condition of human rights by focusing on a target dynamic. We think men and their plights are important too. We’re just not that organization. </blockquote>
<blockquote>
Finally, there is the important distinction between “the actions of an individual who claims a label” and “the definition of the label itself.” A person can claim that they are a certain thing, and then act in no such manner. It’s been the recognized case with religion for years. People claiming to be Christian and to believe in love and forgiveness have gone and slaughtered millions in crusades and KKK rallies and abortion clinic bombings. Were those actions produced by Christianity? No. They were actions produced by angry individuals who falsely claimed the nearest convenient label as a justification for their own independent action. </blockquote>
<blockquote>
Feminism is not about taking advantage of or attacking men. Feminism is in fact exactly the opposite, about righting a systemic abuse of power to bring us all back to a playing field of being reasonable, decent humans to each other who don’t make assumptions based on stereotypes, whether about males or females. The actions of not-actually-feminists only “stain” the movement as much as the action of male rapists and serial killers and bigots and otherwise terrible humans “stain” the whole of manhood.<br />
As Katherine mentions in her blog post, true feminism does not discount subsets of feminist interests. Women are allowed to want to be mothers and wives and mascara-appliers and hair-doers and skirt-wearers. They are allowed to care about their high heels and children. That is fine. Acceptable. Laudable. As is not wanting to be a wife or a mother or to wear makeup or do anything remotely similar. Or, to be a male and to want to be a husband and father and to wear makeup and do hair and wear skirts. Or, to be someone who falls in none of those categories. Feminism is the idea that boxes are idiotic, and no one should be trapped in them – or outside of them. </blockquote>
<blockquote>
You say my idea of feminism is naïve, but I would counter that perhaps your experience of it is limited. I do not deny that there are angry people out there calling themselves feminists and acting the opposite. They are visible. They are loud. They are really quite noticeable. Yes, they exist. But feminists who are reasonable and don’t go gutting others in the style of exactly what we’re trying to end exist, too. The “warm, happy, sunny feminism” you claim I know because I practice it, or at least try my damnedest to. Katherine does as well. There are others – women and men – in my day to day life who practice it, too. I see them. I know they are real. I’m sorry people like them apparently don’t exist in your personal world. Though when presented with two people – one who’s smiling at you and the other who’s about to stab you with a knife – I can understand how the knife-wielder might take more precedence in what you’re remembering came at you that day. I promise there are more of smilers out there, somewhere around you. </blockquote>
<blockquote>
But don’t get me wrong – people who are good feminists, are decent humans are allowed to get angry, too. Just like you, we’re allowed to feel hurt at our own knife wounds. And we’re allowed to fight back. Just as you are.</blockquote>
<blockquote>
Best,</blockquote>
<blockquote>
Miceala Shocklee</blockquote>
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<br />
<br />
Dear Miceala:<br />
<br />
Thank you for your polite and civil response. I do try to avoid <i>ad hominem </i>language, even if my language is often considered caustic, because the fact is my issue is with the feminist movement and a few particular leaders more than it is with individual feminists. My purpose has always been to arouse discussion, not foster an environment of hate. So your civil and reasonable response to my posting is very, very much appreciated. <br />
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I'll begin by saying that I avoided actual citation and stuck to generalities on purpose, to avoid getting entangled in dueling statistics. Thanks to the internet, citing stats and studies and then undermining their worthiness has become an artform, one which rarely accomplishes anything. I am trying to discuss the inter-gender situation in general, so I appreciate you keeping your response equally high-level.<br />
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First, let me thank you for acknowledging the validity of our feelings. That's bigger than you know. Men in the Manosphere (for our purposes, the combined MHRM/MGTOW/PUA/OMG and other advocates of positive masculinity) frequently express their strong emotions and feelings, though with varying degrees of eloquence. These expressions, ironically, are largely due to an upbringing in which we were encouraged by feminism to "express our feelings" instead of bottling them up in traditional masculine Stoic (and, according to feminism, "unhealthy") fashion. <br />
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now those expressions of genuine feeling, when expressed about feminism, are used against us. To feminism-at-large we are "bitter, whiny, angry, frustrated men consumed with rage". Rarely is the question of whether or not our feelings are valid and justified considered by feminism - it uses our bitterness as proof of our "toxicity", not as a token of our righteous anger. Instead, the emotions that feminism encouraged us to share, back in our youth, are now being used to shame and denigrate us because we dare share them. So your acknowledgement of their validity is refreshing, and I do genuinely appreciate it.<br />
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I can also appreciate your frustration with the Manosphere/anti-feminists consistently finding fault with an ideology that you have invested so much in, and that you see as being responsible for so much good in the world. Your point about conflation of causality is well-taken . . . but then when it comes to the details, that's where things start being a problem.<br />
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You agree that stuff was done, and people did them. That's a good start - too often feminists are unwilling to even admit that feminism has caused harm because of their investment in the ideology. I'll agree that the specifics are open to debate, but the very fact you admit stuff was done and something went down is a HUGE step . . . because feminism has been very, very reluctant to take responsibility for what the feminist movement has done. The specifics, you see, are very important.<br />
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When feminism began to critically examine the the role of men in the late 1960s-1970s, I think we can all admit that some serious examination was necessary: the economy and society of the world had changed with industrialization, and our social system had to adapt to keep up. Moving forward into a post-industrial age in which women and men could both compete in the labor marketplace required some dramatic and frightening changes to our agrarian-oriented society. Technological innovations like the birth control pill fundamentally altered how human sexuality functioned, and our culture, our laws, and our society did, indeed, need the first two rounds of feminism like a shot of antibiotics. <br />
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Keep that in mind: despite the churning anger of the Manosphere, the vast majority of men involved do not, as feminism accuses us, want to curtail the basic gains made in women's rights and women's empowerment. By and large we don't want to restrict women's rights to vote, hold office, own property, or compete on an equal footing in the workplace. The vast, vast majority of men in the Manosphere and in the anti-feminist movement approach their activism with a humanistic perspective that has no desire to undercut the equal rights of women.<br />
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When feminism examined the issues of "toxic" masculinity in the 1970s, it didn't stop at a mere critique; it unilaterally decided on a reconstruction. Fatherhood, masculinity, men, and male sexuality were not only put under the microscope by feminism, to the vast majority of men it felt as if we were going under the knife. Traditional refuges of masculinity were attacked and criticized by feminism without understanding of their utility and usefulness to men, or the long-term effects of their assault on our society. In the pursuit of gender-based justice, feminism threw men and masculinity under the bus.<br />
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I can appreciate your point that both men and women have issues - but the difference is that feminism has cultivated a climate in which women are allowed to comment on male issues and women's issues, but the moment that men voice an honest opinion about either they are attacked without consideration. And while I can also appreciate that, in feminism's perspective, that men seem to have gotten away with an awful lot of masculine "privilege", that belies the truth of our own perspective. For millions of men over hundreds of years, their "male privilege" began and ended on the battlefield, while women were largely protected by their sacrifice.<br />
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When feminism speaks of equality, which it does often as a fundamental ideal, it assumes that the social and legal dynamic places men in a "higher" class than women institutionally, that men enjoy "more" rights than women, and that women must therefore "equalize" our institutions to correct this imbalance. Yet rarely, if ever, does feminism appreciate the large number of gender-based masculine obligations, both legal and social, that men incur as a penalty for our sex. In other words, while the rights to vote and sit on a jury and have a credit card are necessary for a woman's equality in our society, then logically the duty to register for conscription and the willingness to sacrifice your life for your society and nation are two profound areas in which men and women remain glaringly unequal.<br />
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Feminism has always ignored the profound effect this existential threat holds over men; when the subject is brought up it is dismissed either by denying the importance of an archaic institution only intended to serve in direst emergency, or the evils of conscription are thoughtfully acknowledged with a shrug of feminist shoulders and an occasional finger pointed at "the patriarchy". Yet when it comes to defining our gendered experience, the solemn fact is that women are protected from this specter by the virtue of their gender in a very un-equal way . . . while men are still expected - even by feminists - to be the first to sacrifice their lives and their interests for the sake of the greater (largely feminine) good.<br />
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I can appreciate the frustration implicit in such foreboding sayings as "It's A Man's World", and how that seems like a near-insurmountable challenge for women. Yet while that phrase is easy to employ, rarely does feminism stop to give consideration of just what this "Man's World" has accomplished, or appreciate the breathtaking achievements masculine ingenuity and inventiveness have wrought on behalf of all of humanity. <br />
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This "Man's World" feminism rails against gave us the industrialization that allowed women to earn their own incomes; it gave us advanced medicine and technology to reduce or eliminate problems women have complained about for literally thousands of years; it has reduced infant mortality and increased life expectancy, ensured food security and provided physical security, and granted the women of our time a standard of living not even monarchs could boast of two hundred years ago.<br />
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When feminism attacks the "Man's World", it is also attacking <i>all of those things</i>. It is attacking the social welfare system, the social and legal institutions we men established, and the underlying masculine pride we men <i>rightly feel </i>in what our ancestors accomplished in building our great civilization. Feminism has successfully demonized the legacy of men who toiled and gave their lives to build the society in which they live and thrive. It has reduced the breathtaking explosion of masculine achievement and ingenuity that has transformed our culture since the industrial revolution to a handful of imperialistic overlords and despotic oppressors. Feminism has, in other words, fostered and encouraged an environment in which masculine perspectives are at best untrusted, and at worst actively challenged.<br />
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Your point about feminism lacking room or energy for pursuing "men's issues" is well-taken. Yet advocating for equality for one side of the equation without consideration of the other is inherently frustrating. Unfortunately, feminism has not just ignored men's issues in the past, oftentimes it has actively worked against them, and the hard-working, dedicated men who are trying to bring them to light on their own. Many of us in the Manosphere were, at one time or another, affiliated with feminists and feminism, and when these issues with pursuing true equality were brought up, we were told smugly "sure, go start your own movement, then!" with a matronizing grin. In the face of feminism's indifference to our issues, that's exactly what we did. You wouldn't rescue puppies, so we started rescuing puppies.<br />
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The MHRM is the result. Yet feminists regularly blast this network of organizations and its activities (pursuing basic equal human rights for men) regularly and repeatedly . . . on the basis of your claim that men's issues have had "the harder hit". The perception of historical "oppression" by men has allowed feminism to rationalize such radical notions as enforced male sterility and male genocide without criticism. I admit, these are radical voices of an increasingly radicalized movement, and hardly representative of the feelings of feminists overall . . . yet these voices are not only uncriticized and left unjudged by feminism in general, the authors of these horrific ideas are celebrated and touted for their advanced thinking. The crimes of the Manosphere may be many, but advocating genocide among women is not one of them.<br />
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When men attempt to go rescue our puppies, feminism has consistently tried to cut us down. When Warren Farrell, originally a member of the feminist movement, dared to criticize some of feminism's fundamental concepts, he was ostracized from the movement and denigrated. Now one of the leading figures of the Men's Human Rights Movement, he is regularly attacked by feminists for the crime of suggesting that maybe men suffer from inequality in some important ways, too. When feminists attack shared parenting initiatives or advocate for lighter sentencing for female criminals, using a "patriarchal society" as their straw man, they not only undercut their stated dedication to equality by demonstrably working against it, they profoundly alienate otherwise reasonable men who are passionately advocating for their human rights away from feminism's stated goals. <br />
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We understand you "aren't that organization". But the issue of, believe it or not, equality comes to the fore. Feminism regularly beseeches society at large (which is made up half of men) to pay attention to feminism issues and the plight of women and girls all over the world. But when the MHRM attempts to call attention in return to the plight of men and boys, feminism attacks us for attempting to steal their thunder. Pleading with us for change and understanding, on the one hand, and then refusing to even listen, much less improve your understanding, on the other is a very poor way to solicit the meaningful cooperation of men.<br />
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I can also understand your desire to distance yourself from the radical positions and proposals that Third and Fourth Wave feminism have inflicted on men. You ask that we not conflate the imperfect actions of some individuals with the noble ideals of an entire movement. The common summation of this position is "Not All Feminists Are Like That". You ask for us, as men, to accept the ideals of equality and ignore the hurtful, hateful speech directed at us for forty years by your radical wing. You ask us to sacrifice our interests and issues for the greater good of social equality, while allowing your self-labeled sisters to call us rapists and violent psychopaths to our faces. You ask us to ignore the hateful language of those who feel entitled to accuse us unjustly, and then help you create a "better" world. Seeing the individuals - folks like Amanda Marcotte and Jessica Valenti - as representative of all feminists is unfair, you seem to say. Yet just as only a tiny minority of male rapists has succeeded in tarnishing the good name of male sexuality for all men, these aggressively vitriolic heralds who claim to be feminists have seriously tarnished any hope of us men seeing the feminist label, no matter how lofty its ideals, as anything but a brand by which we are being savaged.<br />
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Your perspective on feminism's goals and ideals is noble . . . but the execution has indeed both taken advantage of and attacked men as a natural social and cultural consequence of its ideals. While insisting on the goal of a world without damaging stereotypes, feminism itself propagates the most damaging kinds of stereotypes about men. You ask us to use our judgement about just who the "real" feminists are, after calling our collective judgement into question for forty years and demanding that men have no role in determining women's self-image, interests, or issues. Plenty of men in the Manosphere strongly and profoundly condemn the rapists and murderers among us as a natural course of instinctive masculine protection of our society, but even<i> mild</i> criticism of the not-actually-feminists by the "real" feminists is thin on the ground. <br />
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Our issue isn't necessarily with what women want to do with themselves and their lives - but the insistence that you do so without fear of consequence or criticism from us is unreasonable. The lives of men are inextricable interwoven with those of women, and your choices, your decisions effect us intimately, whether you are our mothers, our sisters, our girlfriends, our wives, or our co-workers. While it might seem of only academic interest to feminism what individual women do with those choices, it is of very real interest to the individual men who must contend with them. It's not about whether or not you want to become corporate powerhouses or domestic goddesses; it's about which of those we're more comfortable associating with, and which we prefer to pursue romantically. <br />
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Feminism is great about advocating for men and boys to become more feminine in their outlook, but it punishes us when we try to exercise our inherent masculinity. Yes, it's fine if boys want to stay home and be house-husbands . . . but the fact of the matter is that not only is that almost entirely untenable for a man in our society to do so, but when given a preference <i>most men want to pursue more traditionally masculine pursuits and activities, not become househusbands</i> . . . for which we are castigated. <br />
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Feminism's willful ignorance of masculinity's interests and issues projects common female concerns onto men in the mistaken belief that our goals and aspirations are equal. They are not. They are very different. Little boys don't want to grow up to be househusbands because they're being poisoned by the patriarchy with toxic masculinity . . . they don't want to grow up to be househusbands because they see the disrespect and condemnation that such men receive not from their fellow men, but from the women around them. This has not changed in forty years of feminist activism. For while feminism will fight to the death for a boy's right to cry out his feelings, it goes up in arms when that same boy wants to invest in his masculinity in ways that is not in service to women. Feminism has attempted to ignore the very real factor of intersexual and intrasexual competition, and as a result the personal lives of millions of men have suffered because our natural masculine inclinations are viewed as uniformly toxic.<br />
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I would have to counter that my experience with feminists and feminism isn't limited - I spent six years in an environment of academic feminism, and continued to support feminist-oriented causes and activism for years. I know literally <i>thousands</i> of feminists, from Old Guard 2nd-Wave Equity Feminists to Radical 3rd Wave Riot Grrls, moderates, radicals, intersectionalists, Marxist feminists, and every shade in between. My problem is not too little exposure to feminism, but such a grand exposure that I have seen up close and personal it's inherent flaws and failings. <br />
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The fact is, plenty of "sunny, happy feminists" exist in my world. And they are part of the problem. Not because their intentions or ideals are in error - they're good people, trying to make the world better the way they've been taught to. But because their intentions and ideals are not fulfilled by their actions and activism. Standing firm behind the inherently misandric concepts of "patriarchy", "rape culture", and "misogyny" while the vocal component of your movement uses them as weapons to actively shame and emasculate all men means that you are providing political and social cover for folks who are stomping all over the ideal of equality . . . and we're watching you do it. While you were smiling at us, assuring us that you were not a threat, the radicals have been hiding behind you and stabbing us repeatedly while you watch them do it. Would you trust a voice who endorsed that?<br />
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In the end, the issue is one of accountability. Feminism's goals and ideals are lofty, but as they have been executed they have caused incredible damage to men that feminism - and feminists - are unwilling to be accountable for. More, despite your assurances about labels, feminism has regularly and routinely savaged women who disagreed with them and viciously attacked their decisions. Pretending that all feminists (or even a majority of feminists) think its equally acceptable and valid for a woman to choose whichever path she likes belies the thousands of articles from within feminism's own ranks which prove otherwise. Women who marry early, don't go to college, and condescend to devote their lives to their husbands and families are frequently harassed and demeaned by the feminist narrative. Motherhood and domesticity - hallmarks of femininity and parts of the essential self-image of women for thousands of years - are regularly debased as unimportant by feminists, scalding the millions of women women who decided their reproductive future was more important than their career future.<br />
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But feminism won't own its own savaging of women. It won't own the millions of men who have suffered because of feminist-inspired culture of serial monogamy and divorce. It won't own the blatantly unfair and unequal treatment it has given fathers over the years, the cynical attacks on fatherood and father's rights. It won't own the reality of false rape accusations, because the supposed effect on the alleged victims far outweighs the legal and moral rights of anyone accused of a crime to due process. It won't own the millions of families shattered by the feminist movement's unintended consequences. Or the dramatic social and cultural impact feminist initiatives and programs have had on men and children.<br />
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So regardless of the smiles, we see far more knives . . . and even one knife is too many. After forty years of relentlessly using men and masculinity as a punching bag without fear of serious consequence, the result is what you see before you: two generations of men confused, angry, bitter, and nearly hopeless about our futures. Being lambasted for our male privileges while 70% of homeless and suicide victims are men galls us. Being accused of perpetrating "rape culture" while the majority of us have been so heartlessly attacked for our sexuality that some of our best minds consider chemical castration and self-imposed exile from the gene pool because of the terror feminism has inspired in men about sex is insulting. Feminism has succeeded in nearly criminalizing and certainly demonizing normal, healthy male sexuality - and undermining the social stability of family life and long term monogamy that men have been traditionally dependent upon for our motivations.<br />
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If feminism is to be true to its ideals and pursue a culture of equality, not only can it not do so without taking the issues and interests of men into consideration, it will never happen without the active and enthusiastic cooperation of men. Using shame, ridicule, disrespect and outright antipathy to motivate us just doesn't work. In fact, it produces things like the Manosphere as a direct result. <br />
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Nor are we as "fringe" as you might imagine. Over the course of the last several years the Manosphere has exploded, thanks to information technologies, and part of our continuing efforts involve educating young men and boys about our perspectives on feminism. And it's catching on.<br />
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We are purposefully - out of sheer desperation - doing our best to inoculate young men from feminism and demonstrate that feminist perspectives do not have their best interests in mind. We are encouraging them not to marry, and when they do, to have ridiculously high standards for their wives. We are encouraging them to pursue their natural masculine goals and interests without regard to the concerns of women. We are encouraging them to reject women with a high partner count as poor long-term risks for matrimony, but good short-term prospects for sex. We are teaching them to be more callous and calculating in their personal choices because in our collective experience it is the attitude that will serve them best in this environment. We are teaching them that there are enough women in the world to consider for sex and dating that becoming reliant on any one is a poor idea. We are teaching them that girls are not their friends, but their competitors and sex interests alone . . . because we've seen how women treat their male "friends". <br />
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I know, all of these things will horrify your average feminist. But just as the radical wing of the 3rd Wave (Dworkin, McKinnion, et. al.) saw the cautious attempts of men in the 1970s to contend with feminism as proof of the inherent "male oppression" that justified thirty years of misandry in the feminist movement, as reasonable men we look at the future that our sons have, and we don't want them to experience the same hateful and hopeless dance with feminism we were forced into. <br />
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Instead, we will teach them to be masculine Men, according to their own desires and needs. Which includes a healthy amount of male sexuality. Yes, getting laid is a primary male interest. So, ironically, is getting married. So is having children. But the days when a man could safely count on good opportunities for all three of those are over, and we have to teach our sons how to deal with the world they will live in, not the ideal we want for them.<br />
<br />
So we're telling them to drop out. Drop out of college, turn their back on corporate achievement, and withdraw their active support and energy from society until feminism relents and decides to actually talk to us, not merely scream at us. We're telling them to withdraw their participation and focus solely on their own well-being. We're establishing the meme that a man who works on a woman's behalf has betrayed his self-interest and that of his fellow men. We're telling our boys that feminism is a foe, that women are all suspect, and that they should have fear and suspicion in their hearts when approaching the topic . . . because any other perspective for men in a post-feminist world is not going to be in his best interests.<br />
<br />
It's sad, it really is. But this is not the world we wrought - this is the world that feminism gave to us. Our mothers were divorced and bitter, our fathers were estranged and disrespected, and you've tried to make us feel ashamed of our masculinity for so long, we just don't trust you any more. Every time we do, we get hurt - it's like an abusive relationship. It will take a lot of effort and a lot of energy to reconcile these perspectives, I know. And yes, that might be easier to do if men and the Manosphere would take a more conciliatory, less-caustic tone. <br />
<br />
But the problem is we tried doing that in nice respectful language for forty years, and you ignored us and humiliated us. We CAN'T trust feminism any more, and we HAVE to treat it with suspicion, because it's clear that the future it wants for men is not one that men want for themselves.<br />
<br />
I hope this inspires you to continue the dialog, and I invite your thoughtful response. But if it follows the usual pattern of our discourse with feminism, you will likely shrug your shoulders, write us off, and ignore what we've been saying while you go rescue another kitten. That's your prerogative, of course. But don't say we didn't try.<br />
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Very Best Wishes,<br />
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Ian Ironwood<br />
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<br />Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com136tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-50012516007192377092015-05-04T15:52:00.000-04:002015-05-04T15:52:55.729-04:00Amanda Marcotte's Nervous Titter (Double Feature)This <a href="http://www.salon.com/2015/04/17/4_ways_mens_rights_activists_actually_hurt_men_partner/" target="_blank">recent diatribe by Amanda Marcotte,</a> disguised as “helpful advice” to regular men about <b>avoiding the Manosphere,</b> is in reality the moral equivalent of feminism attempting to cockblock mainstream masculinity from the font of wisdom available from their peers and elders . . . specifically wisdom about women (interesting note, the same piece, entitled <i>"4 ways mens' rights activists actually hurt men"</i> - apparently, we're undeserving of Title Case - in Slate was entitled <i>"How The Bitter Men Of The MRA Ruin Things For Other Guys"</i> for Alternet, for what it is worth).<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhNm0F6whPhqIXlMVMsA5kdiN7XDRpICioy_Y_wkIa6-PJO5mL-L3Xsu5btf4vtubEShHAWYfilOTIl6R6EXqIEtplOkVTBp0ZDEMk96C9MEckKgNX-9dhfQFCjx3gAb2G6tclSKzCSap8/s1600/10688120514_fa647e172c_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhNm0F6whPhqIXlMVMsA5kdiN7XDRpICioy_Y_wkIa6-PJO5mL-L3Xsu5btf4vtubEShHAWYfilOTIl6R6EXqIEtplOkVTBp0ZDEMk96C9MEckKgNX-9dhfQFCjx3gAb2G6tclSKzCSap8/s320/10688120514_fa647e172c_o.jpg" width="282" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
But this isn't mere feminism-as-usual. No, this is an increasingly desperate attempt to convince the vast sea of Betatude out there not to look behind the curtain and see the reality of the situation. One can almost hear her nervous titter and anxiously darting eyes as she tries to compel through emotion what she clearly cannot through reason.<br />
<br />
This little puff of pouting is no less than complete validation of the Manosphere.<br />
<br />
I don’t often do a complete exegesis on something as banal as this, but properly read it communicates some important points about the intellectual opposition to the Manosphere. The fact Marcotte is addressing the issue of “MRAs” in the first place is a bit of a victory – even five years ago mainstream feminism barely acknowledged the existence of masculine issues, much less entire movements grown to pursue them. <b>The fact that Marcotte is attempting this hatchet-job proves that we’re getting to her and her spiritual sorority in a way that disturbs them, but that they don't want you to realize how disturbed they actually are.</b><br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZF1v6eFfeklARYY4Hd0uI45lG0svaHrMa4Y084FmwMcd7WEha1_j8lr_pu2ldLO7CaLVg7Z8KEcqGxKp2exhxTbL_Q6OicoF2uclJv9Xg67sNXlZwLrTTcN_PUqdrC0y_orX64ncFz6A7/s1600/cc8efe3380e4d0d340f473504fbe93ff.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZF1v6eFfeklARYY4Hd0uI45lG0svaHrMa4Y084FmwMcd7WEha1_j8lr_pu2ldLO7CaLVg7Z8KEcqGxKp2exhxTbL_Q6OicoF2uclJv9Xg67sNXlZwLrTTcN_PUqdrC0y_orX64ncFz6A7/s400/cc8efe3380e4d0d340f473504fbe93ff.jpg" width="191" /></a>Marcotte’s ostensible titular audience is “Other Guys” (note she refused to refer to them with the respectful “Men” tag on Alternet, as she wants to appear casual in her approach even as she emasculates them) but her dichotomatic word choice is intriguing: the “Bitter Men” are ruining things for “Other Guys”. She begins her run by attempting to conflate feminist interests with the interests of these poor “Other Guys” – guys who, presumably, have yet to hear about the bad ol’ Manosphere.<br />
<br />
Resurgent masculinity is, in other words, ruining things for . . . just <i>whom,</i> exactly?<br />
<br />
Presumably it’s “all those men who haven’t heard of the Manosphere”, because this is straight-up preventative propaganda. When you take the time to analyze her darling little listicle, you start to see the doublespeak ooze in. <br />
<br />
She unsheaths her claws from the first paragraph, filled with catchy buzzwords designed to automatically discredit her opponent without actually addressing the issues: <i>weird, loose, embittered, confederation, attempt, reframe, racism, harassing, pushing, gold-diggers</i>, . . . why, one would almost think she was referring to a Women’s Studies department in a third-rate state school.<br />
<br />
But no, Marcotte’s venom is for <i>us.</i> She plays the misogyny card, the race card, the rage card (Men aren't allowed to get angry and be taken seriously, in Marcotte’s world – and when they aren't angry, there’s no <i>reason</i> to take them seriously) and the bully card. She paints the Manosphere as ugly to the core, without quoting a shred of evidence or a bit of reasoning. <br />
<br />
It's almost as if she were rationalizing in advance the entire <i>“Manosphere Bad! Don’t Look Over There! I’m Being Oppressed! Look At Me, Not Them! They’re Lying Liars Who Lie!”</i> script she’s about to lay out for the poor, stupid sap who is, apparently, not intelligent enough to make up his own mind about his own masculine identity.<br />
<br />
<b>Marcotte claims that the Manosphere (MRAs, PUAs, etc.) is “bad for men” as the crux of her argument. </b><br />
<br />
Let’s take a look, shall we? Let’s see just <i>whose</i> interests are damaged in the course of the Manosphere’s relentless onslaught:<br />
<br />
<h4>
<b>1.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>They sow paranoia about false accusations. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVZGjMovH_-0clac-C8oSzNuo3CaYN4Ak9ig8urHtT_UVh6tdCDpqDTwjskLeKg5Vwq9sKbYJTPRB8Q6EcAJjUg9X0McHiGh5rSDKoi_XCXS40XUglnIfpsOdMEyHCl97GuzOad3c1ca8H/s1600/378836940_89cfb2091f_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVZGjMovH_-0clac-C8oSzNuo3CaYN4Ak9ig8urHtT_UVh6tdCDpqDTwjskLeKg5Vwq9sKbYJTPRB8Q6EcAJjUg9X0McHiGh5rSDKoi_XCXS40XUglnIfpsOdMEyHCl97GuzOad3c1ca8H/s320/378836940_89cfb2091f_o.jpg" width="222" /></a></div>
</b></h4>
Despite the Duke Lacrosse team, Rolling Stone UVa, Mattress Girl, Lena Dunham, and the <i>thousands </i>of first-hand accounts of men who have been provably falsely accused (and the women who accused them), <b>Marcotte would have you believe that your chances of having a woman misconstrue some minor point of law during the tedious consent process now expected in the dorm rooms of most third-rate state universities and accuse him of an unspeakable crime are, in fact, quite<i> low</i> </b>–NOTHING to worry about, boys!<br />
<br />
She throws around some compelling-sounding statistics about how darn rare the occasions of “false rape accusations” are, without really going into just what those stats actually mean and what they don’t, and <b>she leaves you with the impression that false rape accusations are a myth, and men who are concerned about them are “paranoid”</b>. Worse, men who actually <i>listen</i> to other men about their experiences being falsely accused of rape are “sowing paranoia” and "undermining trust among the genders", because misogyny.<br />
<br />
She ignores the strong cultural prevalence of false rape accusations as a cultural meme – present in everything from <b><i>To Kill A Mockingbird</i></b> (“Atticus Finch: Rape Apologist!”) to <b><i>Orange Is The New Black</i></b>. She ignores the instant attention an alleged rape victim gets from their accusation and <b>ignores the very real fact that some mentally ill and emotionally disturbed people – even pathological liars – can be girls.</b> And she seems to be trying to downplay the rampant paranoia feminism has <i>already</i> sown about rape accusations in general within the souls of men.<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i><b>“But it’s possible that young or naïve men could see all this fear-mongering online and start to legitimately believe they are in grave danger of being falsely accused, a belief that might make them fearful of women and hesitant to date with confidence</b></i><b><i>."</i></b> </blockquote>
<br />
Oh, why not cite <i>feminism’s</i> vicious attack on all men as potential rapists, “It’s On Us”, “HeForShe” and other misandric terror campaigns against all masculine sexuality as a contributing factor to that fear? Of course feminism has NOTHING to do with the fear and hesitation young and naïve men feel about dating. That all came from the <i>Manosphere . . . </i><br />
<br />
Marcotte is, of course, utterly fabricating the idea that young men have no real chance of being falsely accused of rape . . .<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><i>"But the odds of it happening are infinitesimal and exponentially lower than the odds a woman faces of getting raped."</i></b></blockquote>
<br />
The Justice Department of the <b><i>Obama Administration </i></b>recently showed that a woman who attends college has among the least chances, statistically speaking, of being raped, <b>around a .2% chance. </b><br />
<br />
That’s against the national average that gives all women a 2.6% lifetime chance of getting raped.<br />
<br />
But I’m not here to debate statistics. If I was, I’d point out a recent bullshit show of hands, among 41 men present (across a range of ages, educations, socio-economic and racial lines) <b>19 had been accused of some form of non-consensual sex by a woman over the course of his lifetime</b>, though only two were charged with any crime (indecent exposure in both cases). While it’s wildly unscientific it’s also demonstrative of the real threat of false rape accusations are to every man. That seems to fly in the face of Marcotte’s argument as neatly as the “1 in 5” stat falls apart under scrutiny.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfh8uSeMyd4r6srI2_1VeUvQvqh3Daguen4k64oi5ve8aYn65yFmY_jJTF26ugNprQYivucfcQ1lXxKPmC4v0WMaqnKFqzgvWA3Y78qsDCbJsRRAk6BIQEtU04Hq4bXWnBQClbqvamOdg_/s1600/11796254016_059bce6526_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfh8uSeMyd4r6srI2_1VeUvQvqh3Daguen4k64oi5ve8aYn65yFmY_jJTF26ugNprQYivucfcQ1lXxKPmC4v0WMaqnKFqzgvWA3Y78qsDCbJsRRAk6BIQEtU04Hq4bXWnBQClbqvamOdg_/s320/11796254016_059bce6526_o.jpg" width="265" /></a></div>
But it is the breakdown on this point that is revealing: <b>Marcotte’s ostensible sympathy for the poor, naïve young men who will be “fearful of women” and “hesitant to date with confidence” is not borne out of concern for their poor fates. </b> No, Marcotte is worried about the Manosphere because it is, at long last, starting to impact the social and reproductive futures <i>of women </i>in Marcotte’s educated home demographic: the university system where career feminists are born.<br />
<br />
That can only mean that college dudes are starting to #dateoffcampus or otherwise socially ignore the horny coeds around them. Some of them might even be spending time at the gym, reading, and getting an education with absolutely NO plans to settle down with that nice young feminist Women’s Studies major across the quad after graduation, ignoring what he heard about her over Spring Break.<br />
<br />
If fear of false rape accusations plays a role in a young and naïve man’s confidence – and it should – and keeps him from being some debt-laden feminist’s meal ticket out of student loan hell and into the suburbs, then Marcotte just naturally blames the Manosphere. <b>Blaming the twenty years of vicious campus feminism attacking everything with a masculine smirk would be just too honest for her to contend with.</b><br />
<br />
Let’s continue.<br />
<br />
<b>2.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>They encourage men to become consumed with irrational jealousy. </b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ_m2MMhCawnLn7kQXGI2xLmvHqiL1nQ_Gu70GDdIrFSvzCvFAtUAvnsWmhEwIo83g1Huxo2-Z9b-LdAFQ16DDvm6VSHDwDjJ9bpGNK7PAsyqwl9CQg2aVeSzuGxIlGJD75sel_QWb0YxT/s1600/10220749194_55d03deb38_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ_m2MMhCawnLn7kQXGI2xLmvHqiL1nQ_Gu70GDdIrFSvzCvFAtUAvnsWmhEwIo83g1Huxo2-Z9b-LdAFQ16DDvm6VSHDwDjJ9bpGNK7PAsyqwl9CQg2aVeSzuGxIlGJD75sel_QWb0YxT/s400/10220749194_55d03deb38_o.jpg" width="275" /></a>Marcotte is suddenly, <i>terribly</i> concerned that men will fall prey to the horrendously mistaken belief that women might <i>cheat on them</i> . . . or <i>do</i> cheat on them . . . or <i>will</i> cheat on them. <br />
<br />
As her basis of argument she attempts to refute the common evolutionary biology theory about female attraction patterns (ignorantly mistaking it for evolutionary psychology, a different field entirely) that has been borne out by essentially every honest attempt to evaluate it. Marcotte wants you poor, naïve young men to ignore the Manosphere and its evil ways <b>because the very idea that women are sexually attracted to rich, powerful, physically strong men with well-made features is just hooey. </b><br />
<br />
She does this by hammering on a key Game concept (more on this in a moment) about socio-sexual attraction patterns in human females, namely that <b>strong, silent handsome dudes get more tail than whiny little beta male feminists. </b> She tries to poke fun at the “Alpha Male” concept as degenerate and archaic, some sort of “pseudo science” . . . when the evidence says that just ain't so.<br />
<br />
She tries to play up one minor aspect of Alpha Maledom, pointing out that they are callous and hesitate to commit to females . . . despite popular culture and personal anecdote alike demonstrating that <b>handsome, rich men just don’t commit to the first piece of ass they find.</b> And in many cases, not even the last. <br />
<br />
The idea that she’s trying, ineptly, to demonstrate here is known as the <b>Dual Sexual Strategy</b> model of female mating patterns wherein <b>women instinctively seek the best possible mates both physically, to produce quality children, and provisionally, to see those children succored through adulthood.</b> The fact that few women find both stunning good looks and incredible financial success in the same man often means that they are tempted to split the difference between two – often without either one knowing it.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHv021XzzZyMLdmYwXQ_e2mKo9qa4hyphenhyphenHNTkEC2tSyC1h_cUK_3lbkt5bsHrRvVwSefCiZogvanexkPUFplwYCMX0g9QWsnhWf-Eh7GnLH_nM_SZ74PrlJk0umEcwwmGGTnPtAada4sY4j3/s1600/tumblr_mxg5y5Hl6s1qchgrjo1_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="274" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHv021XzzZyMLdmYwXQ_e2mKo9qa4hyphenhyphenHNTkEC2tSyC1h_cUK_3lbkt5bsHrRvVwSefCiZogvanexkPUFplwYCMX0g9QWsnhWf-Eh7GnLH_nM_SZ74PrlJk0umEcwwmGGTnPtAada4sY4j3/s320/tumblr_mxg5y5Hl6s1qchgrjo1_1280.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a>Marcotte seems to want to convince you that women do<i> not</i> want to date ruggedly handsome, cocky, successful guys when even a casual survey of any non-lesbian population of women will refute that utterly. <br />
<br />
She also wants to convince you that those same women would NEVER cheat on their husbands, despite ample evidence to the contrary. <br />
<br />
Enough of lived through the Great Divorce Epidemic of the 1980s to know that “irreconcilable differences” usually meant “Momma found a bigger dick” somewhere along the line (or, more rarely, “Daddy found someone who would screw him regular”, but that’s another story). <br />
<br />
Marcotte wants to try to convince you that female infidelity is something you shouldn't let the mean ol’ menz of the Manosphere make you afraid of . . . despite the fact that this Hypergamy (the condition in which women will attempt to mate “up” with a higher quality or social status male than themselves) is so rampant as to be openly celebrated by global-class feminists like Cheryl Sandberg (to whom I respectfully pay my condolences on the tragic loss of her husband).<br />
<br />
When you have mainstream feminists like Sandberg encouraging young women to get themselves pumped and dumped by a long line of bad boys before they decide to settle down (at least long enough to have babies) with a “good guy”, it’s clear that feminism has lost touch with even the basics of true masculinity for so long that it doesn’t appreciate or even acknowledge common masculine desires like not having your woman cheat on you. <i>“This myth is complete nonsense”, </i>she says, though the celebrity pages for the last sixty years say otherwise.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcSoARGebfJAvbpuIbYsllFyZbD6swPdLfD1oLFpewdJ_Za-udhpRGhiFeGBvIP3lqHZMZ7SuWo7G9iGjccF0NTrQQro_Xw4PFhKWtERpB_P9-4heCRXrBPS9ezO54CJe7c6jFxmsuT-VT/s1600/15377171195_63fb759c12_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcSoARGebfJAvbpuIbYsllFyZbD6swPdLfD1oLFpewdJ_Za-udhpRGhiFeGBvIP3lqHZMZ7SuWo7G9iGjccF0NTrQQro_Xw4PFhKWtERpB_P9-4heCRXrBPS9ezO54CJe7c6jFxmsuT-VT/s400/15377171195_63fb759c12_o.jpg" width="167" /></a>For some of us, we feel <i>quite </i>strongly about it.<br />
<br />
But Marcotte’s motivation here is clear, too, and it isn't to “protect” the poor men from unrealistic jealousy, as she says . . .<b> its to shame them out of the very real suspicions they hold that their “devoted” wives and girlfriends are looking up old flames and ex-lovers on Facebook while they aren't looking. </b><br />
<br />
And we've never heard of<i> anything</i> like that now, have we?<br />
<br />
By shaming you out of wanting to protect your emotional (and often financial) investment in a relationship, Marcotte hopes to continue to facilitate the very Hypergamy she tries to dismiss in the opening of the item. Men are “consumed by jealousy” only when there’s a reason to be . . . and under the feminist encouragement to fulfill female sexual desires with a long line of bad boys – far beyond the “wild girl” stage of the early 20s – there is plenty of reason to be suspicious of a woman claiming she’s “reformed” from her wild ways and willing to be satisfied by you for the rest of her life.<br />
<br />
It’s a blatant way of trying to control your sexuality, Gentlemen, and it’s Marcotte who should be shamed by the attempt. She’s essentially advocating you looking the other way if your woman decides she wants a turn on the company doorknob, or a quickie with a handsome stranger in a bar, drunk and on the road. It’s called the Feminine Imperative, and feminism supports it blindly when it doesn’t run afoul of it. And the Feminine Imperative essentially demands that you look the other way while your woman steps out on you.<br />
<br />
Marcotte’s motive here couldn't be clearer or more blatant. It’s not suspicion and jealousy that tear men apart. It’s unfaithful women who lie to them that tears men apart.<br />
Let’s move on.<br />
<br />
<b>3.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>They discourage men from actually making their lives better. </b><br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLKgpJN3MqTHmh_7Kig6t1CeWXYq3NfNoHzB5YJoh6HZixh1hKqOyIAdaQ6qNrTRldScIRvK_dw9OuYlqOQiWHP-6V-rkB9PaHtvoeSz-x2d0-qIOmbRNWLhFN7bhwuQQ1B6rksfX_oL-C/s1600/6850319291_52cd3ca89e_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLKgpJN3MqTHmh_7Kig6t1CeWXYq3NfNoHzB5YJoh6HZixh1hKqOyIAdaQ6qNrTRldScIRvK_dw9OuYlqOQiWHP-6V-rkB9PaHtvoeSz-x2d0-qIOmbRNWLhFN7bhwuQQ1B6rksfX_oL-C/s320/6850319291_52cd3ca89e_o.jpg" width="238" /></a>This is among her most laughable assertion that Macotte throws at the Manosphere. Invoking the dreaded PUAs and demonstrating a toddler’s understanding of Game, <b>Marcotte attempts to convince you poor, <i>stupid </i>men that learning how to get laid actually makes your lives <i>worse.</i></b><br />
<br />
Thing is, PUA in its various forms has not only evolved, it’s gotten ridiculously sophisticated . . . sophisticated enough so that modern Game works so predictably for those who invest in it that it often seems like having superpowers, at first. <br />
<br />
Far beyond simple “negging” (a technique PUAs picked up from observing intrasexual competition among women) modern Game is a sophisticated set of tools that prepares a man to compete for female sexual attention in a very proactive way. <br />
<br />
<b>That’s why Marcotte and feminists HATE it: Game works. </b><br />
<br />
It works so well and so predictably that even formerly low-status dudes are picking it up and getting laid. <b>And that’s upsetting to feminists.</b><br />
<br />
Marcotte makes the common mistake of projection, here, by not understanding that, to men, SEX IS A PRIMARY MOTIVATOR. Sex is important to men in ways that it is not important to women.<br />
<br />
Being a “better man” who doesn’t get laid as much just doesn’t jive with the common perceptions of masculinity anywhere outside of the celibate branches of the Catholic Church. <br />
<br />
The basis of Marcotte’s argument is that we evil PUAs of the Manosphere will convince you that girls really don’t like “nice guys”, based on nothing more than careful observation and evidence. That’s because feminism’s essential hypergamous strategy involves sidelining “nice guys” during a woman’s peak reproductive years until said woman has an “epiphany” about her exploding sexuality, a couple of tattoos, and a whole lot of regrets. THEN she needs a “nice guy” who finally thinks he’s getting his turn, when in fact he’s getting the lean leftovers from someone else’s party.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWPg2ikUIwAoFdRQFLgaQc1mXhxHNUYj2BPcm4IeH1UOCWEhDVVw23JzF4UhbM5QJksrB91shH-Yx-eLlHxgV_GGJnpsPWF8zRLQ2jq45SBh21F-rwe2xez4wwgPZ6yj7-D-AmdWhosqo_/s1600/16764571799_b6be89fd8a_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWPg2ikUIwAoFdRQFLgaQc1mXhxHNUYj2BPcm4IeH1UOCWEhDVVw23JzF4UhbM5QJksrB91shH-Yx-eLlHxgV_GGJnpsPWF8zRLQ2jq45SBh21F-rwe2xez4wwgPZ6yj7-D-AmdWhosqo_/s320/16764571799_b6be89fd8a_o.jpg" width="214" /></a></div>
This is the famed “Alpha Fux/Beta Bux” strategy underlying Hypergamy (above). After insisting that women don’t follow this strategy in listicle #2,<b> Marcotte turns around and encourages men to actively conform to the “Beta Bux” side of the equation</b> . . . not because feminism wants there to be a lot of nice guys around to be nice to women and buy them things (although that certainly SEEMS to be her message) but because <b>feminism doesn’t want every dude in the world to start suddenly ACTING like a “bad boy”, because then they can’t tell who the real bad boys are and who are the dudes who just learned decent Game.</b><br />
<br />
That’s a serious problem for women in general, I won’t deny – when you can’t tell the good providers from the bad providers, the good physical specimens from the bad physical specimens, it’s really hard to make a decent mating selection about the father of your children.<br />
<br />
But that’s kind of the point.<br />
<br />
Since the advent of the Pill and the surge of 3rd Wave feminism on the public consciousness, the assault on masculine sexuality has driven the majority of men into a mode of appeasement, when it comes to their mating selections. They rarely take initiative and they’re often content to wait on the sidelines while the object of their attraction is off sowing her oats in Cancun. That has suited feminists well, for the last decade or two, because the sexy entitled jocks or I-don’t-give-shit guitar players they so freely fornicated with were clearly above the general tide of mediocre masculinity.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-jABcRTk5irg3McQJ23Lr5ObY2p8bF1FfyU0EAd99Jeunp050iUmmSxHoFIuApl27nVstEXf918b0xjlPhL9hiPOYtW4yhDXuw2sff0TPvpW52nLSlcWWd3thorfhyphenhyphen6OHIX2o0mi-s15T/s1600/4684743494_638828ef0e_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-jABcRTk5irg3McQJ23Lr5ObY2p8bF1FfyU0EAd99Jeunp050iUmmSxHoFIuApl27nVstEXf918b0xjlPhL9hiPOYtW4yhDXuw2sff0TPvpW52nLSlcWWd3thorfhyphenhyphen6OHIX2o0mi-s15T/s320/4684743494_638828ef0e_o.jpg" width="281" /></a></div>
But now that Game has invaded the public sphere, even in a small way, suddenly feminists are very, very nervous. Suddenly they can’t tell the “good guys” from the “bad boys” because the good guys are learning Game and the bad boys already knew it. And when a faux “bad boy” witnesses the wild excesses of her youth, he isn’t NEARLY as eager to attach his fortunes to her. Instead he continues to Game other girls until he finds one far more suitable to his long term goals. That girl is the one who gains his commitment and his provisioning, when it was “supposed” to go to the feminist.<br />
<br />
Worse, the general feeling toward feminists and women in general has taken a downturn, thanks to more men learning Game. Game holds women accountable in ways feminism would never dream of.<br />
<br />
<br />
When most men understand the motivations and machinations of most women, enough to realize that they tend to be attracted to Nice Guys but are usually far more aroused by Bad Boys, then a basic and fundamental element of female mating is in jeopardy. That’s got alarm bells ringing in the Bat Cave of feminism.<br />
<br />
There is already a growing chorus of women approaching 30 who are beginning to realize that the handsome, successful college-educated men who were supposed to be standing around waiting for them to finish “exploring themselves” and settle down are just. Not. There. This trend will only increase in the next few years as the Millennial women start approaching the Wall and panicking. Their grand life plans for career, love, husband, family, house, Happily Ever After, come crashing down as they see one relationship after another sputter out before a ring is produced.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFib4Z7py2sdOt_kQP1yGXlHf01LbjmBfF_VfDydgQmqkn30AYrL9Oqo6M2FUfFXUdNRxG0QDf4V1Pcd4kAaH2egcsJQidL0dC1ItOp_05tszs4tRGNg2BnLuJfIqOaVhxrCR4CLBmDble/s1600/10290658886_67e2c4aecc_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrDcwIldWFhNMgiL4ZhQQOsvlpSFjjduboOc1jtZVafH70q-yL3n4quIZYDqbt9Z7YU750RzRCY2b9JsYRjk-kU9AORGNJjibSf8-DE8E6QX0ZF-7gbxBIqV8hSBnC3nKBuOT0gyyygVc0/s1600/2532524252_674d8a6757_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="317" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrDcwIldWFhNMgiL4ZhQQOsvlpSFjjduboOc1jtZVafH70q-yL3n4quIZYDqbt9Z7YU750RzRCY2b9JsYRjk-kU9AORGNJjibSf8-DE8E6QX0ZF-7gbxBIqV8hSBnC3nKBuOT0gyyygVc0/s320/2532524252_674d8a6757_o.jpg" width="320" /></a>Feminists aren't <i>supposed</i> to freak out about marriage – marriage is a patriarchal construct designed to oppress women, remember? But the fact is that <b>women, particularly college-educated women, depend on marriage to fulfill their dreams and their goals. </b> Marriage is the best way to raise children and conserve community assets, when divorce doesn’t loom over every conversation. Marriage has untold benefits for women, far beyond the few small benefits men receive from it.<br />
<br />
But the thing is, the men who they would have married are looking for sex, not commitment. They don’t WANT to settle down, they’re having too much fun . . . and we all know what happens when you get married, right? Half the time you get divorced, half the time you wish you would. Feminism has help make marriage a miserable sentence for most men, with hypergamous divorce and brutal family law designed to humiliate, impoverish and emasculate at every turn.<br />
<br />
Marriage is a bad deal for men because men like to have sex a lot. Marriage is a permanent surrendering of your autonomy and your self-hood, in return for huge risk and an empty promise of a reasonable amount of sex with the same person. The reality, as it usually happens, is much different.<br />
And we all know it. <br />
<br />
That’s the other reason that Marcotte is so adamantly against PUAs, <b>because they discourage men from committing lightly to one woman.</b> They teach men how to have sex with a LOT of women, especially younger women, and teach you how to improve your chances with those younger, higher-value women who are in their prime . . . and that’s a huge threat to the feminist establishment. Men just going around and knowing how to seduce women? They can’t have THAT, can they?<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFib4Z7py2sdOt_kQP1yGXlHf01LbjmBfF_VfDydgQmqkn30AYrL9Oqo6M2FUfFXUdNRxG0QDf4V1Pcd4kAaH2egcsJQidL0dC1ItOp_05tszs4tRGNg2BnLuJfIqOaVhxrCR4CLBmDble/s1600/10290658886_67e2c4aecc_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFib4Z7py2sdOt_kQP1yGXlHf01LbjmBfF_VfDydgQmqkn30AYrL9Oqo6M2FUfFXUdNRxG0QDf4V1Pcd4kAaH2egcsJQidL0dC1ItOp_05tszs4tRGNg2BnLuJfIqOaVhxrCR4CLBmDble/s320/10290658886_67e2c4aecc_o.jpg" width="160" /></a>In fact, <b>having a lot of sex and knowing how to convince women to have sex with you is, officially, a Good Thing to the vast majority of heterosexual men.</b> I don’t think I’m stepping over the bounds and “speaking for all men” out of turn – <b>men love sex, and will do whatever they have to do to get it. </b> All the sensitivity training classes and screeds on male gaze aren’t going to change that fundamental biological (not cultural) fact. <br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Men like to get laid. </b> Learning how to get laid makes us feel like better men. As we define what “better” is, then learning how to get laid with the least amount of effort expended, as Game and the PUA community advocates, really is in our best interest.<br />
<br />
Let’s take a look at Marcotte’s objections:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i><b>"There’s nothing wrong with one-night stands, but this mentality is discouraging and cruel to men who are hoping to form a lasting, intimate relationship with a woman."</b></i></blockquote>
<br />
Setting aside the moral value of ONS for a moment, there is nothing cruel about this mentality for men who want to form a lasting, intimate relationship . . . with a QUALITY woman. Marcotte objects to PUAs and Game because <b>it encourages men to be better deciders,</b> selecting which women to pursue merely for sex (most of them) and which to pursue for a lasting, intimate relationship that leads to a commitment (the precious herd of unicorns bereft of feminists). <br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtJA6shw87u7CShWkR094BjU-8L3xRfZ2EB6zeu-UxcY464zHu344n9-hGtE7_q-muNu_zwA1haRrcMSwUIVF2yrput3qr6w1cd-dRRN3AqXv2u5l-wrMJHs4huyZbVckBTuUG2XVi5CWU/s1600/10688143036_ee1f3d9f93_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtJA6shw87u7CShWkR094BjU-8L3xRfZ2EB6zeu-UxcY464zHu344n9-hGtE7_q-muNu_zwA1haRrcMSwUIVF2yrput3qr6w1cd-dRRN3AqXv2u5l-wrMJHs4huyZbVckBTuUG2XVi5CWU/s320/10688143036_ee1f3d9f93_o.jpg" width="320" /></a><b>There’s no cruelty in PUA for men. It just makes them better judges of women. That’s a problem for Marcotte and her pals.</b><br />
<br />
Then she continues,<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><i>"Nor is there any reason to think this strategy works."</i></b></blockquote>
<br />
Actually, there’s <i>every</i> reason to think this strategy works: <i><b>we see it working. </b></i><br />
<br />
Game is transformative to your masculinity. Once you understand the male-female sexual dynamic in its context, entire realms of our culture are revealed to you. Once you understand female sexual psychology enough to have a reasonable chance of seducing any given woman, it’s easy enough to apply in any given circumstance. <br />
<br />
The field reports Marcotte disparages are signs of Game working . . . because the dudes posting these reports aren't merely bragging of their conquests, they are <b><i>deconstructing their failures and sharing that information with other men to increase the knowledge base.</i></b><br />
<br />
<b>Game, and the PUAs who built it, are essentially teaching men skills they desperately want to get better at . . . but that women in general and feminists in particular desperately <i>don’t</i> want them to know.</b><br />
<br />
Here’s the kicker:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsKHUcL3JPFzhhLTfhHXTU0D2nzD4jsfv75BmgrkIdBxWd7PDfOEbStAcjCJCCRCv4xC5wMt0cQ4N6zhslxvXi-G2kphmbQcU6H-_cL2CYiXRffVTKO2YjfeTSxVVo6mdCfy6myoQ9qdrQ/s1600/10688316263_692b92b010_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsKHUcL3JPFzhhLTfhHXTU0D2nzD4jsfv75BmgrkIdBxWd7PDfOEbStAcjCJCCRCv4xC5wMt0cQ4N6zhslxvXi-G2kphmbQcU6H-_cL2CYiXRffVTKO2YjfeTSxVVo6mdCfy6myoQ9qdrQ/s320/10688316263_692b92b010_o.jpg" width="242" /></a><i><b>"But it’s also hard not to wonder if men would do even better if they learned to treat <br />
women with respect and kindness, instead of like unfortunate obstacles to be overcome in order to get laid."</b></i></blockquote>
<i><br /></i>
This is the part where every normal male has permission to roll on the floor laughing. Even the most pathetic Omega can see that<i> “treating women with respect and kindness” </i>doesn’t help you get into their panties. Quite the contrary, thanks to the cultivation of bad boys and the utterly predictable response to it women have, treating them with respect and kindness is demonstratively the best method to get locked into the friendzone, utterly removed from any hope of getting into her panties. <br />
<br />
<b>Women don’t get aroused over respect and kindness. </b> That’s one of those “PUA Secrets” she’s afraid of. <b>Female sexual desire is responsive in nature,</b> say <a href="http://www.thedirtynormal.com/blog/category/sexual-wellbeing/desire/" target="_blank">all the best feminist sex scientists</a>, and women generally don’t have an arousal response toward respect and kindness. Quite the opposite.<br />
<br />
So as far as getting laid goes, Marcotte’s suggestion is just <i>hysterical.</i><br />
<br />
In fact Game <i>does</i> teach men to be better at dating, and no, that doesn’t mean poaching drunks at Last Call, as Marcotte suggests. Indeed, <b>that’s the desperate game of those “nice guys” she’s encouraging you all to become</b>. <i>Actual </i>Game teaches you how to pre-sort potential women and discard the ones who are unlikely prospects to have sex with, and then teaches you how to overcome or outmaneuver common female sexual strategies to encourage her to have sex with you.<br />
<br />
Along the way, Game teaches you to invest in yourself as a man, educate yourself, inform yourself, invest in your body through physical activity, learn adequate grooming, and perfect rules of social behavior to suit your purpose, i.e. getting laid. <br />
<br />
In other words, stuff that will ACTUALLY help you in dating.<br />
<br />
The difference is that Marcotte doesn’t recognize (and doesn’t want to recognize) that the primary reason men date isn’t to meet interesting women and spend money on them,<b> it’s to get into their panties as quickly and as thoroughly as you reasonably can. </b> Without Game that struggle might take weeks of expensive dates. With Game, you’re either in quick or it isn’t going to happen – move on.<br />
<br />
Game and the PUAs represent the most heinous aspect of the Red Pill culture to Marcotte because it is the most threatening. Her actual listicle should have read: <i>They Discourage Men From Making Their Lives Better For Women.</i> That would have been more sincere.<br />
<br />
What’s next? Oh . . .<br />
<br />
<b>4.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>They poison the well for good men on the dating market. </b><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhISdV8pmMLK6FdSzua-26d3GGZUgCqTMKzOmuDYgeX5Og03XNYH85LvbFqrLTPAmoeKBQpB0Jxm7U0T3_WTGRnSI_HQJu-umQJgKJX8nZGL_WS-9VKMKYyng10nA4oQJ7UDEZZndzqai6k/s1600/0b3a92458b014692622012885c1cf85c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhISdV8pmMLK6FdSzua-26d3GGZUgCqTMKzOmuDYgeX5Og03XNYH85LvbFqrLTPAmoeKBQpB0Jxm7U0T3_WTGRnSI_HQJu-umQJgKJX8nZGL_WS-9VKMKYyng10nA4oQJ7UDEZZndzqai6k/s400/0b3a92458b014692622012885c1cf85c.jpg" width="207" /></a><br />
Funny how she doesn’t mention how<i> feminism</i> has poisoned the well for good women on the dating market for forty years. But that’s not what Marcotte is talking about. That would be something like <b><i>equality,</i></b> and that’s not her purpose in this propaganda. <br />
<br />
Here Marcotte is doubling down on the <i>shame</i>, in case you missed it the first time. Her idea is that <b>there are so many dudes out there swallowing the Red Pill and being, well, dudes, now that it’s just ruining feminist dating prospects. </b> You never know when a man is going to start quizzing you about your Number, for instance, or asking you to make a sammich.<br />
<br />
In all seriousness, Marcotte’s plea here is one borne of real frustration and a growing fear. That fear is that <b>men, in general, will start to call bullshit on feminine caprice and hold them accountable.</b> “Good Men” (the Better Betas the GoodMenProject is trying to build) clearly will allow women to step all over them, take them on expensive dates, work hard for the promise of sex that never quite comes through, and generally perform like dancing monkeys in return for the privilege of enjoying a woman’s company . . . a woman who, if she’s so inclined, <i>might</i> deign to have sex with you.<br />
<br />
The Manosphere fucks all that up for her and her ilk. <b>When a plurality of men begin to adopt Red Pill standards for their dates and understand their own great value on the Sexual Marketplace (SMP) and the Marital Marketplace (MMP), then female bargaining power plummets. </b> Without the bonds of matrimony and the promise of security all that leaves women with to entertain men is their <i>sexuality. </i><br />
<br />
This is highly inconvenient to women, particularly feminist women who are used to demanding equality and special treatment at the same time. <b>For two generations they've been able to exploit their sexuality while demanding equality and gotten away with it. The entire feminist dating biosphere depends upon it.</b> As long as there was a steady pool of reasonably attractive men who would compete for their sexuality, they could parlay that into an opportunistic lifetime of fun and profit.<br />
<br />
But when a significant percentage of that pool <i>isn't </i>willing to play that game, <b>essentially forcing women to compete with their sexuality for male attention and the dying promise of commitment, </b>that’s just too darn much work. Women are supposed to control sex, not men. Men understanding their value and exploiting female desires for security and attention is just too darn unfair for Marcotte. <br />
<br />
Let’s break down Marcotte’s objections and run them through the <b>Feminization Translator:</b><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><i>They treat women like crap and demand sex.</i></b></blockquote>
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE6Z4NpmVY9ZKtbBJ9YUNRPs8bxlh4OsRvpojldU0jDa8eBpiwYmmkfHTCsf4yFgMAu3DVat61NnK0738zKdZFJ6O42rKZzhkrZcUPdTbMueyvqL3hON5RUwDzxnsRw5sYEhYU6gc2qLl-/s1600/13383332385_0e761fc7ab_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE6Z4NpmVY9ZKtbBJ9YUNRPs8bxlh4OsRvpojldU0jDa8eBpiwYmmkfHTCsf4yFgMAu3DVat61NnK0738zKdZFJ6O42rKZzhkrZcUPdTbMueyvqL3hON5RUwDzxnsRw5sYEhYU6gc2qLl-/s320/13383332385_0e761fc7ab_o.jpg" width="297" /></a><b>Translation: “They aren’t buying us stuff and kissing our asses! They want us to put out in return for their attention! Wah!”</b><br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><i>This sucks for women. But it also sucks for men, especially men who aren't PUAs or MRAs. After all, dealing with creeps and entitled misogynists makes a lot of women wary of dating.</i></b></blockquote>
<b>Translation: "If we can't tell the REAL Alphas from the "fake" Alphas by their covers, it makes us work too hard! Wah!"</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<br />
Actually, that doesn’t suck for men NEARLY as badly as it sucks for women. Men are used to being rejected by women for all sorts of dumbass reasons – from shortness to balding to ‘chemistry’. One more bullshit excuse why a woman won’t sleep with you, more or less, isn't going to impact men in the slightest.<br />
<br />
Well, not men who learn Game, certainly. But even those who aren't Game-aware are going to learn about Game from these distressed women. They will assure those women in no uncertain terms that they are <i>nothing </i>like those nasty PUAs and MRAs. And those women will therefore shower them with their sexual attention . . . right?<br />
<br />
<b>Of course not. </b>Marcotte is making a false threat here, equating a few dudes who weren't going to get laid anyway with the struggles of women who suddenly are being held accountable by some of their dates, and that just doesn’t work for them. Indeed, all that this is doing is attempting to stir up antipathy between the Blue Pill masses and the Red Pill intelligentsia. By invoking the latent White Knight in as many dumb guys as possible and telling them that paying attention to the Manosphere might <i>not</i> get them laid, she’s blatantly pandering and shaming her ostensible audience.<br />
<br />
Let’s see what other horrors await you poor stupid men if too many of you learn of the dark secrets of the Manosphere:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><i>Women who might otherwise be interested in speaking to strangers, now largely avoid talking to men they don’t know.</i></b></blockquote>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpEyD1mPjF5jSQCjtPcZbCFPRQUCayZW1C_KdtplUyWW5BbxurHb8UJMOPre0s_4rgJFJU2dHYEGIomqMS8yQthvjGgiZIqPUrIqTg663cJ6m8FqwXo88cJbgMDyKf24k7Lwtcu2y_pwva/s1600/6207201708_4e319959e3_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpEyD1mPjF5jSQCjtPcZbCFPRQUCayZW1C_KdtplUyWW5BbxurHb8UJMOPre0s_4rgJFJU2dHYEGIomqMS8yQthvjGgiZIqPUrIqTg663cJ6m8FqwXo88cJbgMDyKf24k7Lwtcu2y_pwva/s320/6207201708_4e319959e3_o.jpg" width="243" /></a><b>Translation: "If too many dudes actually learn Game, we won't speak to ANY dudes anymore, no matter how smooth their Game is!" </b><br />
<br />
Yeah, right. <i>That's</i> going to happen.<br />
<br />
Considering feminism has made talking to a strange woman tantamount to rape and sexual harassment, I don’t think you can pin this on the Manosphere, Cupcake. Sorry. <b> It was feminism, not the Manosphere, who made speaking to strangers dangerous. </b>This is Marcotte attempting to foster a Scarcity Mentality in men, when in fact they should be cultivating the Abundance Mentality that actually fits the facts on the ground. She continues:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><i>A lot of women abandon dating websites because of all the creeps. </i></b></blockquote>
<b>Translation: "Women are striking out on dating websites because they're figuring out that the only men there are either looking for just sex, or that their standards are far too high for the average post-feminist woman to meet, so blaming it on 'all the creeps' (thus demonizing the sexuality of the men who are confident enough to pursue it unashamedly) is the best rationalization they can muster to explain all of their failures."</b><br />
<br />
Since “creep” in this sense means <b>“any man who has sex as a primary motivating factor”</b>, it’s hard to take Marcotte’s claim at face value. A more compelling explanation is that women are abandoning dating sites because <b>they cannot endure the perceived criticism implicit in not finding Prince Charming, and instead finding a man who is wondering how old that profile picture is and how many cats you have. </b><br />
<br />
<b>Women leave dating sites because, in general, women are <i>terrible </i>at online dating.</b><br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0xXno3pJ2oy3ud0GllEJK5kZnVmR1NCZgUeNklIgLzfYQIrPNHmFqAbg7m2PAgz6gipnyckaYBCnZHh43XE9yRvr2e1BRLBY0c0hvYv1i0Ht2b8VHGG8rCM-WGoTfg1H3EZl9F7A1kiJd/s1600/10816571874_e9a6e449d1_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0xXno3pJ2oy3ud0GllEJK5kZnVmR1NCZgUeNklIgLzfYQIrPNHmFqAbg7m2PAgz6gipnyckaYBCnZHh43XE9yRvr2e1BRLBY0c0hvYv1i0Ht2b8VHGG8rCM-WGoTfg1H3EZl9F7A1kiJd/s320/10816571874_e9a6e449d1_o.jpg" width="249" /></a>That’s a fact. Women in general are far better at making an impression and selling themselves in person, and resent the casual nature with which most men “next” them based on appearance alone. It's the ultimate exercise in female competition . . . and male rejection. Since it's usually when the dark shadow of the Wall approaches that women tend to turn toward on-line dating, there are issues of youth at play. And women largely turn to online dating when they have exhausted the pools of eligible men and found them (or themselves, though few have the character to admit it) wanting. <br />
<br />
The problem is that men don’t go online looking for Princess Charming. <b>They go to online dating to find a retired pornstar or other potentially easy lay.</b> Women who figure this out quickly do well at online dating, within certain parameters. That is, <b>they get laid a lot. </b> They don’t necessarily end up with meaningful relationships.<br />
<br />
It damn sure ain't because of all the PUAs. Most PUAs eschew online dating, save Tindr, as a poor return on your investment. <b>It’s a lot easier to seduce a woman in person. </b> At most, online dating gives you a wider pool to preselect from. <br />
<br />
Once you filter out the "losers" who are ready to commit to the first vagina that will talk to them, that pretty much just leaves the Red Pill-type men looking for wives, and that’s what <i>really</i> annoys Marcotte:<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEYsGeMYhyOyXKIAk3E-Um5E0bfOaDBKOq3O-OpYHKFl3X8Tk1w62nzNZemNNCEEmYW12ZWENFo1oFhKkdw7OTd8207fCzRRnM3d2qh89ECZ9YsY3usQODbLOaV7lju-ZqLVuHoDAq1enb/s1600/5712148898_222f16c063_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="219" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEYsGeMYhyOyXKIAk3E-Um5E0bfOaDBKOq3O-OpYHKFl3X8Tk1w62nzNZemNNCEEmYW12ZWENFo1oFhKkdw7OTd8207fCzRRnM3d2qh89ECZ9YsY3usQODbLOaV7lju-ZqLVuHoDAq1enb/s320/5712148898_222f16c063_o.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><i>Even if they stay on the sites, a lot of women quit bothering to look at messages from men they haven’t messaged first, since experience teaches them that a lot of them will be from MRA-types. </i></b></blockquote>
<br />
<b>Translation: "The only men who seem willing to be open to committing in the dating realm are the ones who understand their own value and want a woman of high quality, and would dare hold their dates up to those impossible-to-meet standards involving such lost arts as sweetness, warmth, and domesticity. There just aren't enough Beta Bux dudes on there to make it worthwhile. Everyone else just wants <i>pussy."</i></b><br />
<br />
This is the most boldly pathetic cop-out about women’s utter failure at dating in general that I’ve ever seen. Really, if a woman rejects every man who approaches her on the presupposition that such a man MUST be an “MRA-Type” (a dude who wants sex more than he wants a marriage) then it’s <i>obviously</i> THEIR fault she can’t get a date. <br />
<br />
So how does this supposedly make things worse for “good men”?<br />
<br />
It really doesn’t. In fact, unless you define “good men” solely in terms of “men good for women”, PUAs, MRAs, Red Pill men and the fellow travelers across the Manosphere have<b> really done nothing to decrease your chances of dating. </b> <b>In fact, they have increased them enormously, especially if you define “good date” in terms of access to sex.</b><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdvJjEauqVXvDCQe5UnPBmhO4AIea-M43Gjd9Dy9rOEtqa04vHRNKGZZmUP7yY1KSr05dv7MxsNoCXLwEsZ8OkzNKMgGqbETfDs4xX2GvTnIVgAxhQsDZYHSUTXlBBOnoRpxGQ1448iOV_/s1600/14237920801_82b0edc516_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="264" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdvJjEauqVXvDCQe5UnPBmhO4AIea-M43Gjd9Dy9rOEtqa04vHRNKGZZmUP7yY1KSr05dv7MxsNoCXLwEsZ8OkzNKMgGqbETfDs4xX2GvTnIVgAxhQsDZYHSUTXlBBOnoRpxGQ1448iOV_/s320/14237920801_82b0edc516_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
You see, one thing the Manosphere has been preaching that Marcotte didn't dare touch upon was the essential fungibility of women in the arena of intersexual mating. That is, <b>no matter how badly you get rejected or dumped this year, next year a whole new crop of young women will be hitting the dating market. To them, you will be a little older, wiser, more exciting and adventuresome, compared to their “boring” contemporary boyfriends. </b><br />
<br />
Meanwhile the woman who rejected you <i>last</i> year got one more year older, more jaded, and closer to the end of her active fertility. Eventually, she won’t even be considered datable, much less marriageable, and if she doesn’t convince some poor sap to overlook her storied past and the number of bad boys lingering in her Facebook account, she’s going to start getting desperate. While you get <i>more </i>desirable.<br />
<br />
And this happens <i>every year. </i><br />
<br />
The Manosphere teaches the cold, brutal biological truths of human mating and pairbonding, not the idealistic musings of feminism’s fictional take on mating. And <b>the cold truth is that women age, and that men prefer beauty and youth when they make their sexual decisions. Women have a shelf-life. Men age like wine. That’s not a political statement, or misogyny, or sexism, that’s the observable fact for the vast majority of our human species. </b><br />
<br />
It’s just as cold a truth as the fact that women prefer height, strength, and success in the men they prefer to mate with. No five-foot-one guy wants to hear that, but <i>it’s the truth,</i> one that must be contended with if he’s going to pursue women. But he might enjoy hearing that a twenty-six year old five-foot one man looks<i> really good</i> to a twenty-year old woman who is tired of “boys” and prefer his success to their youthful bullshit. <br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1zzWFWyd0xoaKQeKDODXb6izZzzV7iYU_R5c27NnFAssMxEx1vUinZ0PSCh77OhI7xjM-bIi78v6zHsSrQODJ9rV4iX9qxBV_BYJiPHgfch0ZwFpfJHiLEGdKJj3x46VO2jcwJ7fLJ4pt/s1600/16965877377_a5c0dcf59f_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1zzWFWyd0xoaKQeKDODXb6izZzzV7iYU_R5c27NnFAssMxEx1vUinZ0PSCh77OhI7xjM-bIi78v6zHsSrQODJ9rV4iX9qxBV_BYJiPHgfch0ZwFpfJHiLEGdKJj3x46VO2jcwJ7fLJ4pt/s320/16965877377_a5c0dcf59f_o.jpg" width="320" /></a>These are the truths that Amanda Marcotte doesn’t want you to know – she doesn’t even want you to <i>suspect that they exist. </i> If there was, Goddess forbid, a secret method by which nearly any man could, with practice and persistence, end up bedding far more women than was seemly to feminist sensibilities, <i><b>do you really think Marcotte would be celebrating it? </b></i><b> Or would she be trying to convince you to ignore or fight it, like the nerdy girl at the dance nervously, desperately trying to distract the cute boy from noticing how easy the Easy Girls are? </b><br />
<br />
Here’s the thing, Amanda, a fundamental truth from the Manosphere: <b><i>you cannot negotiate desire. </i> Trying to tell non-Red Pill men about the evils of the Manosphere in an effort to turn them off the idea isn’t going to work . . . when our stated purpose is to get them laid and your stated purpose is to keep them stupid, docile, and tractable.</b> Our methods <i>increase </i>their chances for actually having sex. Your methods . . . don't. They don't increase their chances of having sex. At most, they increase their chances of spending their weekends for the foreseeable crafting with their sexless girlfriends and wondering <b><i>why the hell they ever decided to be “nice guys” in the first place.</i></b><br />
<br />
She’s trying to scare you, Gentlemen, scare you by convincing you that our kung fu doesn’t work when it does; convince you that girls like to fuck “nice guys” when they don’t; convince you that your Red Pill brothers hate women and want to screw you over when we don’t; and – most damnably – <b>convince you that doing the bidding of women in a frustrated attempt at having sex is somehow preferable to the pursuit of masculine interests and male values that will benefit you, not some babe you met in the bar.</b><br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBsnGd89S5kjlfOBe2w2FZbhDYGOqf-6vEbseUx5rzO6Nl29jHoX-7cQ9vqVoe7544WXcjqqz4iJnur-Sl6B1KOrFwxH12M_gc3nbGtIlOFKBia8cZz8PVf61kbuBxO_lgEJh70Ubm8x3k/s1600/13383476223_ed9a8290b7_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBsnGd89S5kjlfOBe2w2FZbhDYGOqf-6vEbseUx5rzO6Nl29jHoX-7cQ9vqVoe7544WXcjqqz4iJnur-Sl6B1KOrFwxH12M_gc3nbGtIlOFKBia8cZz8PVf61kbuBxO_lgEJh70Ubm8x3k/s320/13383476223_ed9a8290b7_o.jpg" width="264" /></a><b>She’s trying to scare you, shame you, and humiliate you. She’s trying to get you to fight us. </b> She’s trying to manipulate you by your fears of rejection and your feminist-inspired shame over your own desires, <b>the same way women have tried to control masculine sexuality since the dawn of time. </b> She’s trying to convince you that cold hard truth is wrong, that the Manosphere is actually hampering your desire to get laid, not assisting it. <br />
<br />
She’s giggling nervously and being catty and trying to shame you and <b>make you do what she thinks is best for you. </b> She’s especially trying to shame your fellow men in your eyes, the PUAs who have dared to undertake the deconstruction of the feminine sexual psyche, the MRAs who advocate for basic human rights for men, the MGTOWs who humiliate Marcotte and her sisters by refusing to treat with them at all in their lifestyle, the OMGs who persist in happy patterns of productive patriarchy and benevolent sexism, all of your fellow men of the Manosphere. <br />
<br />
Seriously: who do you think REALLY has your best interests in mind? For Marcotte, she's been peddling this same tragically flawed, blatantly self-serving message for years, now. And her titter has only gotten more shrill and nervous as the years roll by, and hundreds of thousands of men are discovering "PUA advice": the Red Pill.<br />
<br />
<h3 style="text-align: center;">
<b>SPECIAL BONUS SECTION: AMANDA MARCOTTE'S DATING ADVICE FOR SOCIALLY AWKWARD DUDEBROS, CIRCA 2011!</b></h3>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4-Z_quvCVSq5llH2mnaGEU0uuXEsDQX2UyXXiYICDcGDLfSyYOEKs9SRxI8C1CrNYB2YktguA0czPV3v1pZmBMgtmtTK62D4u4nOIk5nZtgR9dWnn25_JV4jknywGOBMvqsyISrkVdDIS/s1600/14983461212_379a899408_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4-Z_quvCVSq5llH2mnaGEU0uuXEsDQX2UyXXiYICDcGDLfSyYOEKs9SRxI8C1CrNYB2YktguA0czPV3v1pZmBMgtmtTK62D4u4nOIk5nZtgR9dWnn25_JV4jknywGOBMvqsyISrkVdDIS/s320/14983461212_379a899408_o.jpg" width="271" /></a></div>
<br />
While researching this piece, I came across <a href="http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/nice-guys-finish-first-without-pickup-gimmickry/" target="_blank">THIS gem </a>from Marcotte, offering her advice to dudes about what REALLY works in dating. Of course it was offered over at Manginaland, TheGoodMenProject (<i>"Teaching Men How To Be Better Servants To Their Feminist Overlords!"</i>) and of course it's essentially a poorly-reasoned argument for why you should be a Blue Pill Doormat in the dating world. Let's see how it stacks up, compared to the RP Praxeology, in terms of success. (Oh, and this was published all the<b> way back in 2011</b>, at the Dawn of the Manosphere, in its present incarnation. This tepid, poor advice was pretty harshly criticized<a href="http://www.feministcritics.org/blog/2011/04/14/amanda-marcottes-alternatives-to-pickup-advice-that-arent-really-alternatives-noh/" target="_blank"> then,</a> but it bears backing over).<br />
<br />
Then let's file this under Feminist Dating Advice:<br />
<br />
<b>1. Be generous about women’s motivations.</b><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_xskKsQphZMbsQICYckNtA9Innj_szZAe4lVmtRlpQk2P8zpZStFan9CTPhnVt_tXSECQyDJUjM6x77WEUHnEBmb6cLXFClLAkgrOWZJ30XkC4UDtFXVhoaqxAmFAuKV6tQ2GmpYhgI7i/s1600/4303442437_a9383174ee_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_xskKsQphZMbsQICYckNtA9Innj_szZAe4lVmtRlpQk2P8zpZStFan9CTPhnVt_tXSECQyDJUjM6x77WEUHnEBmb6cLXFClLAkgrOWZJ30XkC4UDtFXVhoaqxAmFAuKV6tQ2GmpYhgI7i/s320/4303442437_a9383174ee_o.jpg" width="283" /></a><br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><i>"...women’s choices make much more sense if you assume women date for fun and companionship, just as men do."</i></b> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><i><br /></i></b><b><i>TRANSLATION: "If you'd just project our perspectives on yours like we do, and ignore the blatant scheming of the Marital Marketplace, then you might enjoy an enchanting evening with a woman that may or may not lead to sex, may or may not lead to marriage, but that's OKAY . . . because Girls Just Wanna Have Fun! We don't want your money! Really!"</i></b></blockquote>
<br />
Actually, men tend to date for just two reasons: <b>to get laid or to interview a potential long-term mate.</b> Fun and companionship is what we get with our male social circle. Rarely do we think, "gosh, my life would be better if I paid for some woman to have a good time and then sexually reject me at the end of the evening!"<br />
<br />
What we actually, truly want from women on dates is decidedly different. And we understand that women are either out for "fun and companionship" (desperately seeking Alpha) or "investigation of long-term resourcing potential" (pragmatically seeking Beta). We're not, as she implies, completely stupid.<br />
<br />
What Marcotte does here is<b> try to convince you all that women aren't REALLY dating looking </b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzL8TIid1UfxDykHWdf1fjABNsskmYbPKZEVoA5vrJBYFcQ8-3-84GvoO6TUKC9sgNzQOQn7GLhgyBlA8M7xEErq29tZYJ8LZOie5AcbvKsHas0BOYRCoKJik0-OER3lhsscE6Jg_4kWjj/s1600/12498855065_8f2c19708c_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzL8TIid1UfxDykHWdf1fjABNsskmYbPKZEVoA5vrJBYFcQ8-3-84GvoO6TUKC9sgNzQOQn7GLhgyBlA8M7xEErq29tZYJ8LZOie5AcbvKsHas0BOYRCoKJik0-OER3lhsscE6Jg_4kWjj/s320/12498855065_8f2c19708c_o.jpg" width="254" /></a></b></div>
<b>for Beta Bux, they just want <i>fun and entertainment</i>.</b> Of course, it's in the feminist/Feminine Imperative's best interest to convince Betadom that they<b> don't really exist, </b>and that all dudes have a more-or-less equal chance if they're fun and entertaining <i>enough</i>. Then, if the stars are in the right position (NOTHING to do with hormones, natch) then she <i>may</i> reward you with her Sacred Snowflake Vagina just because she's so darn swept away by your charm and character.<br />
<br />
No promises.<br />
<br />
In reality, it's usually pretty easy to discern a woman's motivations on a date. You can tell within the first fifteen minutes, and discern a lot just from her station-in-life, pre- or post-Epiphany. If she's looking for Alpha, you make a play. If she's snooping around for Beta, unless she's proven her quality, you drop her like a hot rock . . . because <i>it's unlikely she's going to be a productive encounter. </i><br />
<br />
(That means "sex", to dudes)<br />
<br />
Marcotte Is trying to use obfuscation to convince the Betas of the world that they have an equal chance with all the Alphas, and that <b>if they just approach a dating situation with no suspicions and open wallets, their lives will be much better. </b><br />
<br />
This is fun! Let's continue!<br />
<br />
<b>2. Believe that sex is not a battle</b>.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><i>"The PUA model of dating is one where men are buying and women are selling, and therefore men’s job is to try to get as much sex out of women for as little a “price” as possible. . . . You have more fun when your friends are having fun, right? Apply the same attitude towards dating, and you’ll become immediately hotter."</i></b></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEbg9CsM0elTHSuKhDCskB700g-uPpdscC6lPh2WdaD4UvEYDzZyCxHxXggefP0LNgX5luRX2ZQx2GnKLkf6SH99OQnVxisjaNrApBV0xUbbUZ8HAsyHcExiKiSZWB5Ur2UOtwd-TQxwdY/s1600/2311830922_341a3c2b9a_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEbg9CsM0elTHSuKhDCskB700g-uPpdscC6lPh2WdaD4UvEYDzZyCxHxXggefP0LNgX5luRX2ZQx2GnKLkf6SH99OQnVxisjaNrApBV0xUbbUZ8HAsyHcExiKiSZWB5Ur2UOtwd-TQxwdY/s320/2311830922_341a3c2b9a_o.jpg" width="317" /></a> <b><i>TRANSLATION: "Quit trying so hard to get laid! Don't you idiots know that women control sex, and you exist only as our entertaining dancing monkeys? We will give you sex where and when we choose, and your unashamed pursuit of it makes us anxious, forces to admit we are in a sexual competition, and undermines our strategy of attempting to gain as much resources and attention out of you with the least amount of sexual effort expended! Get with the program!"</i></b></blockquote>
<br />
I just love it when feminists try to talk men out of their best interests. <br />
<br />
Marcotte, here, is trying to soothe the poor Beta ego about his string of rejections and relationship failures. She's also trying to talk him out of appreciating the current post-feminist dating situation (or even the prefeminist dating situation) through the helpful optic of a <i><b>Transactional relationship</b></i>. CLEARLY, this is because he's focused on SEX, not providing a "good time" to the women he dates.<br />
<br />
If he would JUST REALIZE that dating is about FUN, not SEX, then she's just super-sure that the women he dates are going to sprawl with their legs open around such a generously fun guy. And if he would JUST quit thinking about all the MONEY, TIME, ENERGY, and RESOURCES he's expending in the quest for the sex he's given up pursuing, he could relax and enjoy the display of his resources vanishing for the entertainment of others. Once you give up pursuing sex and thinking about it like it's, y'know, something valuable, your life will be much, much happier.<br />
<br />
Gentlemen, is that your experience? <b> Does ignoring the pursuit of sex in dating actually lead to more sex . . . or do you find you learn, pretty quickly, that if you do not keep the focus of your date on sex, that sex just naturally ain't gonna happen? </b>Marcotte is trying to convince you that Sex isn't REALLY part of why you date women. Instead, <b>it's something that women reward you with if you are properly entertaining and they damn well feel like it. YOUR native sexual interest is to be sacrificed for the sake of THEIR entertainment. </b><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVVOG1B3zoJvf-u1jZU4yvy_Ag-ULO2Mdnl8VoOmLE3cCHUQ8PXJuxu6JXuOTYJIKF9v0qQFcTJv_AoKA5fIK0hC4Qa8ipnvCc70ObXFfdubxuZyI9c8WUqFE-geaaL9kW_CmKKlR-I4IK/s1600/0060573bbfc50cf5086c5dabcd25ada4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVVOG1B3zoJvf-u1jZU4yvy_Ag-ULO2Mdnl8VoOmLE3cCHUQ8PXJuxu6JXuOTYJIKF9v0qQFcTJv_AoKA5fIK0hC4Qa8ipnvCc70ObXFfdubxuZyI9c8WUqFE-geaaL9kW_CmKKlR-I4IK/s320/0060573bbfc50cf5086c5dabcd25ada4.jpg" width="319" /></a></div>
You see, feminism doesn't<i> want</i> you to think that sex is a <b>primary masculine interest,</b> because the Feminine Imperative, and feminism in particular, has claimed control of sexuality and managed the SMP and the MMP for millennia, now.<br />
<br />
<b>If you fellas continue to act like you're dating to get laid, then you blow the delicate illusion of women everywhere, and force them to face the real, pragmatic, and utterly draconian competition for decent mates they ACTUALLY face, not the rosy romantic Disney Princess fiction they've been pumping since birth.</b><br />
<br />
When men understand their value, and realize that sex IS their primary masculine interest, it's amazing how much of the bullshit falls away from the dating world. And that's EXACTLY what Marcotte, on behalf of her scared sisters, <i>doesn't </i>want you to do. They THRIVE on that bullshit, and you're taking it away. <i>Stop it.</i><br />
<br />
<b>3. Make a list of traits you’re looking for in a woman. </b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><i>"Be excruciatingly honest, even if it means writing down embarrassing things like “submissive” or “sexually inexperienced.” Physical characteristics are OK, but it’s more important to talk about stuff she can control, like her self-presentation. Be as specific as possible. If the ideal woman in your mind has a job in a creative profession and knows how to cook, write that down."</i></b></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8LKp0O6wOq4hnnfSOsqygoKC8QJsvUGJ7KrP3pb4ke9DmlJCD5NBJGHfhGTTYcZMyhpcCUYcGrlN7Uw66Ss1oVt2MR2b7kQpMlehvowi1MuteyST8S3xZWaXQDvmRD2edfox0qFXwJE2z/s1600/13751739134_384813608d_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8LKp0O6wOq4hnnfSOsqygoKC8QJsvUGJ7KrP3pb4ke9DmlJCD5NBJGHfhGTTYcZMyhpcCUYcGrlN7Uw66Ss1oVt2MR2b7kQpMlehvowi1MuteyST8S3xZWaXQDvmRD2edfox0qFXwJE2z/s320/13751739134_384813608d_o.jpg" width="320" /></a> <b><i>TRANSLATION: "Girls always write down exacting criteria for their The One, so you should, too! It's okay if you put down misogynistic, manly things on the list - we don't expect you to pay attention to it, anyway! We like hearing your high standards for women, and then pretending that we live up to them. Just don't expect us to actually try."</i></b></blockquote>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
This isn't exactly bad advice, but from Marcotte it's just disingenuous. <br />
<br />
Ordinarily TRP encourages a man to be <i>extremely</i> exacting in knowing what he wants in a potential mate, but the focus is on LTRs/Marriage, and <b>the criteria are encouraged to be high to discourage future ex-wives. </b><br />
<br />
Marcotte doesn't want you to really take this list <i>seriously</i> - hence the issues she proposes, including the idea that<b> men should be embarrassed about their sexual choices because they conflict with feminism </b>- she just wants you to make a list, because that's the feminine approach to the matter. Girls have their List before they leave Middle School, whereas I and every other cishetero dude was heavily criticized during the same period for voicing ANY preference for a future mate as "sexist and misogynistic".<br />
<br />
And that's the point: feminism has dared men to hold them accountable under threat of social punishment for their personal mate-selection choices, so by spelling them out ahead of time, Marcotte isn't asking you to hold the women you date accountable to that standard; no, <b>she's giving you a list from which to find exceptions to your own rules. </b>And she's attempting to eliminate the LTR side of the equation, because <b>she doesn't want you getting any ideas about the realities of commitment.</b> No, this is just a "fun" list of things you'd like in a date, not a pragmatic Dealbreaker list that will exclude the vast majority of the women you date from consideration as anything but a bedwarmer.<br />
<br />
But perhaps Marcotte has another motivation . . .<br />
<br />
<b>4. Use that list to do an honest self-assessment.</b><br />
<br />
Oh. Of course. That makes MUCH more sense.<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><i>"How much do you resemble the person you just listed? It doesn’t have to be across <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
the board, but if you have little in common with the imaginary woman you conjured up, you have a problem. . . . You can’t fault women for giving you a pass if you’re not what they want, even if they’re very much what you want."</i></b></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><i>TRANSLATION: "Remember that List? Well, we have a List, too, and according to that list . . . YOU SUCK!"</i></b></blockquote>
<br />
Marcotte's position here is pretty straightforward: <b>YOU DON'T DESERVE A PORNSTAR, YOU MISERABLE SLOB OF A BETA! YOU DON'T EVEN DESERVE TO <i>GET LAID!</i></b> <br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU2j2DhSRmmtxZmsdvRBLkFRU7llWm4MKsRrde0N7C_BKsTXFEJPVgNmlFw_9mXAlgqAMJZzSBEr8hD7XZDoT8vsXKqML2YLPoibI8dnSnQ4wOQ5XeYGsor4LkVLl6aFGbxKjlXFLbgl9y/s1600/6841626471_b4d198a5ec_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU2j2DhSRmmtxZmsdvRBLkFRU7llWm4MKsRrde0N7C_BKsTXFEJPVgNmlFw_9mXAlgqAMJZzSBEr8hD7XZDoT8vsXKqML2YLPoibI8dnSnQ4wOQ5XeYGsor4LkVLl6aFGbxKjlXFLbgl9y/s320/6841626471_b4d198a5ec_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
She just couldn't resist a little bit of implicit misandry and "victim blaming" here: <b>if men aren't getting nookie, then clearly it's just THEIR FAULT because they suck so much. </b> It has nothing to do with the current flaky, self-absorbed, iPhone-attached Twitterfems insisting that they "deserve" better than you. It's all YOU, and Marcotte wants to drive that point home with the heel of her sensible shoes. <b>Marcotte is doing her best to pre-reject you poor AFCs because that's her goddess-given right, and it serves both the Feminine Imperative and the feminist agenda to keep you fearful of women and in awe of their ability to dispense sex without your influence. </b><br />
<br />
You see, if single men start feeling a sense of <b>self-worth</b> commiserate with their <b><i>actual</i> worth</b> on the MMP, <b>they might start understanding that there are literally THOUSANDS of women out there, hungry to compete for them, and that would <i>utterly wreck the Pussy Scarcity Mentality that the Feminine Imperative/feminism thrives upon. </i></b><br />
<br />
The Red Pill, by contrast, encourages you to delve into serious self-improvement . . . <b>but to serve your own interests, not merely to make you a bit player in some woman's living romance novel. </b> Marcotte's motivation isn't to encourage you to build yourself into a<i> better</i> man, it's to chastise you for not properly fitting the FI/feminism's ideal of who you <i>should</i> be, and using the implicit threat of sexual rejection as a club to keep you in line.<br />
<br />
<b>5. Make the necessary changes.</b><br />
<br />
Ah, the Call To Action!<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><i>"We’re often attracted to what we wish we were like as well as what we’re already like. Instead of bemoaning this, embrace it....Of course, in some situations this isn't going to work. You may not want to have a certain trait you want in women, because you think it’s demeaning. Or you may not be able to achieve it, as is the case for men who want to date much younger women. In these cases, I advise that you either rethink your desires or accept that you’re likely to have a lonely existence....You can’t expect women to put time and energy into her looks or profession or home or even sense of humor and expect nothing in return from men she dates."</i></b></blockquote>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7pdBnYlhOP3x7y2z8fXTy9hpbb0gIko8kGKc1mCOHSWVuvv-tiXnbiHNrwa5O6BsNSC2oIF3kQaLWCzsKF0pNt__bZH9-i4qwFtdwiY4dIO6eyzGo9eZtzAaqefKXSfkG36cDsrpj3rXH/s1600/16358154311_cafac61506_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7pdBnYlhOP3x7y2z8fXTy9hpbb0gIko8kGKc1mCOHSWVuvv-tiXnbiHNrwa5O6BsNSC2oIF3kQaLWCzsKF0pNt__bZH9-i4qwFtdwiY4dIO6eyzGo9eZtzAaqefKXSfkG36cDsrpj3rXH/s320/16358154311_cafac61506_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><i>TRANSLATION: Alpha Up, or you're a fucking loser, you Fucking Loser! How can you possibly expect some woman to grace your unworthy dick with her pristine vagina because you suck so badly? Your desires and expectations are unrealistic and no decent woman will ever love you, unless you drive yourself to meet our ephemeral whims! The sooner you accept the fact that you're a Fucking Loser, suitable only for subsidizing the good times of your female-gendered betters, the sooner you can face up to your Fate as a desperate Beta Bux future ex-husband and accept it."</i></b></blockquote>
<br />
This . . . is just<i> galling</i>. <br />
<br />
Apparently the "changes" that Marcotte and her feminist friends want you to make is changing <i>your expectations</i> . . . <b>because men shouldn't have real expectations about their relationships. </b>Marcotte does her best to talk you<i> out </i>of all of those criteria for a woman you drew up in the last listicle, and doubles down on the meme that <b>you, your goals and aspirations (particularly if they have been influenced by the Evil Patriarchy, your own misogynist masculine sexuality) aren't important . . . only the goals and aspirations of the women you date are.</b><br />
<br />
Marcotte <i>desperately </i>tries to kill the idea that you could actually find, say, a much younger woman to date you if you wanted. Not because it's<i> unlikely</i>, as she tries to convince you, but because <b>she doesn't want you to understand the importance of the Wall in a woman's life, how her sexual values change in relation to it, how men can exploit that for sexual success, and the nature of masculine sexual attraction increasing slowly over time.</b> That's a LOT of secret information that essentially fucks up feminism's mating strategy. If THAT happened, t<b>hen you'd realize that a 40 year old man with a secure job is as much catnip to a 25 year old woman as a 25 year old woman -</b> but she's trying to fool you into thinking - like she does - that you're of declining sexual worth as you age. That's a chick thing.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs3Etib5gQEbkMau4anxZEqvSnQ1TcLxLSEV88Kra_QasTz-D5PATCp_AX0eUmxdup_bi4jB1DTxwUciIUdTHGcKV9XoV1E-4gfZWtyBUT9_gQ2XUduyxBGllHDAh6Pa6cD4SfcGyIkPuN/s1600/14840681437_9eb160d71f_o+(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs3Etib5gQEbkMau4anxZEqvSnQ1TcLxLSEV88Kra_QasTz-D5PATCp_AX0eUmxdup_bi4jB1DTxwUciIUdTHGcKV9XoV1E-4gfZWtyBUT9_gQ2XUduyxBGllHDAh6Pa6cD4SfcGyIkPuN/s320/14840681437_9eb160d71f_o+(1).jpg" width="242" /></a>And look how she tries to shame you for your own sexuality:<i> "You may not want to have a certain trait you want in women, because you think it's demeaning". </i> Parse this through, a moment. <b>If it's a trait you WANT in a woman, then why WOULDN'T you want it, just because it's "demeaning"?</b><br />
<br />
Marcotte's representative self-interest comes out boldly, here: her goal isn't to make men work harder<br />
to be better men, for their own ambitions, but to convince men that their own interests (sex, just the way they want it) is, actually, NOT in their interests, encouraging them to self-shame because "it might be demeaning". <br />
<br />
<b>When was the last time you heard a real dude actually voluntarily give up a favored sexual practice, or a preference in his womenfolk, because it was "demeaning"? </b> Only in Blue Pill Future Ex-Husband Land. Instead of encouragement to better themselves, Marcotte's call to "make the necessary changes" is nothing more than a plea to <b>lower standards and a shameful argument against your own sexuality.</b><br />
<br />
I mean, <b>how often do you think Marcotte has advised <i>women</i> to "rethink your desires or accept that you’re likely to have a lonely existence" if their List was idealistic, unrealistic, or unobtainable? </b><br />
<br />
<b>6. Develop real self-confidence.</b><br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><i>"Pickup artists are right that confidence is sexy, but where they mislead is claiming confidence can be gained through simple social tricks....hiding your feelings of inadequacy behind tricks probably just reinforces the sense that the real you can’t be good enough. Real confidence, in my experience, is a combination of having concrete things to be proud of (traits and accomplishments, not possessions) and a focus on the positive over the negative."</i></b></blockquote>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgewmXZe5Vgq0mN0uP3jB3XBEbCmxk32g3X-XWSazjpWCT7UXxsLWH4n7i8_FeCwPajXkFFbk48KF631RGTQ4HMtvDOMO2DR9kQUlGG_eJlMao20Hv_Gt78TqnFlyrq_Ta3r5WJcSXKexfM/s1600/7348289940_9f0253ea17_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgewmXZe5Vgq0mN0uP3jB3XBEbCmxk32g3X-XWSazjpWCT7UXxsLWH4n7i8_FeCwPajXkFFbk48KF631RGTQ4HMtvDOMO2DR9kQUlGG_eJlMao20Hv_Gt78TqnFlyrq_Ta3r5WJcSXKexfM/s320/7348289940_9f0253ea17_o.jpg" width="251" /></a></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><i>TRANSLATION: "We hate the fake confidence of pretend-Alphas - we want the REAL confidence of REAL Alphas! The rest of you just 'be yourself', so we can figure out who the actual Alphas are and aren't confused by guys who understand Game!"</i></b></blockquote>
<br />
It just keeps getting worse. <br />
<br />
In this directive, Marcotte attempts to be the fish giving advice to the fisherman, but what she's actually doing is Beta-shaming and attempting (a bit desperately) to convince Betas that they just need to "be themselves". "Real" confidence (and Marcotte is some sort of expert, apparently) is elusive to the poor AFCs struggling with women, <b>so instead of trying they should just be the bumbling walking wallets she expects them to be happy playing, and be self-deprecating about their "flaws" to boot.</b><br />
<br />
Rarely have I seen such a blatant attempt to force clueless Betas back in their box. The shaming, the pre-rejection, the purposeful undermining of key issues like Abundance Mentality, Male Self-Worth, and Masculine Sexuality is textbook FI/feminism wish fulfillment in the dating realm. <b>It's purpose IS NOT TO HELP MEN HAVE BETTER DATES. The purpose is pretty clearly to MAKE MEN BETTER DATES FOR WOMEN. </b><br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM26CXOuN9CU5v5rO4U1svrDHDWttahxWUvEFCcjtzTRVUUuhFgs4D6FXVZZto6Ry5GIniBPKzRkU4cyPmtmddGRoCyJsdwhra4KetjNRl48gNDGkfMD9OSPfdCwErtOucPgN0ab9QAS0P/s1600/9565886205_3248bcea0b_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM26CXOuN9CU5v5rO4U1svrDHDWttahxWUvEFCcjtzTRVUUuhFgs4D6FXVZZto6Ry5GIniBPKzRkU4cyPmtmddGRoCyJsdwhra4KetjNRl48gNDGkfMD9OSPfdCwErtOucPgN0ab9QAS0P/s320/9565886205_3248bcea0b_o.jpg" width="288" /></a>Nowhere is masculine interest invoked - on the contrary, it's denigrated and devalued. Nowhere is there an encouraging word about your own masculinity - on the contrary, the piece is designed to humiliate and shame. Nowhere is there any incentive for men to actively and purposefully pursue their dating, mating, and reproductive strategies - on the contrary, the focus seems to be to convince men to abandon any real desires or goals they have for themselves to the whims of greater femininity.<br />
<br />
So when you're considering whether or not to follow TRP's praxeology, and pursue the masculine goals and interests YOU decide, or continue to follow the feminist-written, Feminine Imperative-approved Blue Pill script they've provided for you, try to keep all of this in mind:<br />
<br />
<b>Amanda Marcotte doesn't want you to get laid. </b> She and her sisters just want to use you for entertainment value. <b>And they're all scared shitless because, increasingly, the men in this culture are starting to realize just how full of it they are.</b><br />
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<br />Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com53tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-45828126409396855912015-03-31T16:09:00.000-04:002015-04-01T10:12:41.269-04:00Sad News: Rudy Nappi died March 13th, 2015<div class="tr_bq">
I'm breaking my hiatus prematurely to relay some sad news: <a href="http://theredpillroom.blogspot.com/p/artist-of-month.html" target="_blank">phenomenal 20th century illustrator Rudy Nappi</a> passed away three days after his wife, on March 13th.</div>
<br />
Many of you have remarked about the artwork found on this site; Rudi Nappi is one of my favorites, to the point I dedicated a special page of his works here. It has been one of my most popular pages, and Nappi in particular always managed to capture a sense of erotic urgency and arousal that other "pin-up" artists rarely did. <br />
<br />
But he was not just a cheesecake artist; Nappi provided the illustrations for some of the most iconic works of the 20th century, namely the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew novels, among an impressive amount of other commercial work.<br />
<br />
From a marketer's perspective the kind of work Nappi did is an increasingly lost art; once illustration ruled the advertising marketplace, and Chicago, New York, and other metropolitan areas bristled with commercial artists doing their work the old fashioned way, with pencil, ink, and paper.<br />
<br />
When commercial photography became sophisticated enough to be used in marketing the periodicals of the mid 20th century began to move away from illustration and toward illustrative photos; while that, too, is an art, the work that Nappi and his colleagues cut their teeth on dried up over time. Only on novel covers and the occasional bit of nostalgia did you see a hint of this again.<br />
<br />
What is ironic is that the "sleazy" work that these artists did, and Nappi in particular, was brilliant illustration that conveys some very primal and powerful emotion. In the way that master artists do, Nappi's technique became refined over time, and according to the dictates of the market. But for me his best work continues to be the mid-century pulp illustrations he did so masterfully.<br />
<br />
I find this particularly sad because I had hoped to find a way to interview the man this Spring, as we lived in the same state. When you discover a monumental talent like Nappi's is in your backyard, it's painful to know you missed a chance to meet the man who inspired so much for so many over the years.<br />
<br />
These are the emails I kindly received from his family:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial; font-size: 14.6666669845581px;">Hello-</span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><br style="color: #222222; font-family: Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial; font-size: 14.6666669845581px;" /></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial; font-size: 14.6666669845581px;">Rudy was my great uncle. We got news this weekend that he passed away on Friday. He was pre-deceased by his wife by three days. March 10th for Peggy (Margarete) and Friday for my uncle.</span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><br style="color: #222222; font-family: Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial; font-size: 14.6666669845581px;" /></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial; font-size: 14.6666669845581px;">My Dad, George Nappi, found your website and said the following about one of your covers. Rudy often used family members for his illustrations. </span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><br style="color: #222222; font-family: Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial; font-size: 14.6666669845581px;" /></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial; font-size: 14.6666669845581px;">Dad said the following about the cover for Yesterday’s Love:</span></span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6P23ya4TukL_L4eTGpXLtDb86BlPVNAke2DZh-3uxa2t0AZdEmc3V65wlYGnvo8yjTb5OUny2AlrYtMuQdFYFbxLWDNSVF3R86k9I5EtjfVC1S8J3VSEBoE7fiHHL0-Xk8zIQKfCIZEqm/s640/avon_475.jpg" /></div>
<br />
<br />
<blockquote>
<span style="background-color: white;"><br style="color: #222222; font-family: Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial; font-size: 14.6666669845581px;" /></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial; font-size: 14.6666669845581px;">The man on the ground is my Great Uncle Charlie Zappalla,</span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial; font-size: 14.6666669845581px;">my grandmother's brother in law. The little boy</span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial; font-size: 14.6666669845581px;">is my cousin Tommy Vreeland. Aunt Justine's son.</span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial; font-size: 14.6666669845581px;">Man standing with the hat is Aunt Peggy's Father</span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial; font-size: 14.6666669845581px;">Charles Shubert. The other standing man is</span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial; font-size: 14.6666669845581px;">Uncle Rudy's best friend & best man EU</span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial; font-size: 14.6666669845581px;">Everett Upwall. The women are changed</span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial; font-size: 14.6666669845581px;">faces but posed by Aunt Peggy. </span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><br style="color: #222222; font-family: Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial; font-size: 14.6666669845581px;" /></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial; font-size: 14.6666669845581px;">Tommy was used as inspiration for the Hardy Boys and Rudy’s daughters were used as inspiration for Nancy Drew.</span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><br style="color: #222222; font-family: Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial; font-size: 14.6666669845581px;" /></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial; font-size: 14.6666669845581px;">He was a great man – well loved by everyone who met him and will be much missed!</span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span class="HOEnZb" style="color: #222222; font-family: Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial; font-size: 14.6666669845581px;"><span style="color: #888888;"><br /></span></span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span class="HOEnZb" style="color: #222222; font-family: Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial; font-size: 14.6666669845581px;"><span style="color: #888888;">-Karla (Nappi) Gadecki</span></span></span></blockquote>
<br />
<br />
Yes, Karla, he will be. <br />
<br />
From his nephew:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;">I am Rudy Nappi's nephew. I am sad to report that on March 13th 2015 he passed away, 3 days after his wife my aunt Peggy (Margarete). They passed away in Charlotte, NC where they lived. They are survived by his two daughters Lynn & Susan & their family's. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;">In reporting his death I forgot to mention one thing. His name was Joseph Rudolph Nappi; but, he preffered to use his middle name Rudy. He was also known for his nature & wildlife paintings. He & my Aunt Peggy, his wife, went on safaris for the research on wild life paintings. I cannot recall the organizations he did the paintings for. </span></blockquote>
<br />
<br />
Our collective thanks to him and his incredible talent for so many rich decades of entertainment. I would love for someone in the family to contact me, so that I could do a complete article in memorium. Please let me know if there is anything we can do for the family. Our condolences to losing such a great man. Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-66338607320356504412015-02-09T14:01:00.001-05:002015-02-09T14:01:59.126-05:00How The Manosphere Can Stop Campus Sexual AssaultWhen one of the world's most suddenly-famous porn stars, Belle Knox, scribed a post against campus rape for Huffington Post last year in which she stated how only 2% of rape claims are ever false, the irony was amusing. Coming from <b><i>Duke University</i></b>, the home to one of the largest, most vicious false-rape claims in recent US college history, one might even be tempted to smirk. <br />
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The White House got behind the meme, of course, since they haven't done much public hand wringing on the subject lately, and suddenly it has a website (#ItsOnUs - more male shaming/white knighting) and it's a Movement. <br />
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I'm not going to try to re-hash misinterpreted and poorly gathered statistics on the subject here. Others have done that far better than I could. But that was just one symptom. Along came "Yes Means Yes" consent laws in California and elsewhere, "Dear Colleague" letters, the UVa rape scandal, Mattress Girl, Lena Dunham's fabrications, and all of a sudden making out with a girl from the same school you go to is an exercise in legal and academic freedom. I am going to criticize the really, <i>really</i> crappy marketing this here Movement has come up with. Using threats and celebrity endorsements and blanket male shaming, it takes a decidedly misandrist approach to the subject. <br />
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Don't mistake me: <b>I'm not pro-rape. No one is.</b> Consent is essential to the exercise of good sexual practice. But I've seen too many times just how prevalent the on-campus call of rape is. The special rules, the town v. gown laws, all seek to make men more vulnerable to false rape accusations on campus. I've also seen what a serial rapist can do to a campus, if undetected. <br />
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True story: a bud of mine, way back in college, had a dorm room threesome with his girlfriend and her best friend. A total of 3 beers were consumed by the three of them. He wasn't even particularly into it, but his girlfriend wanted to "help out" her best friend who was in a losing streak, and he was a stalwart dude, so he bit the bullet and had mediocre sex with two girls. <br />
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Three weeks later he hears rumors how he "raped" both women . . . despite the fact that his girlfriend insisted that everything was consensual. Apparently her best friend got convinced by a Campus Feminist (<i>"Building A Compelling Argument For The Manosphere Since 1983!"</i>) that her<i> one</i> beer and low self-esteem somehow counteracted all of that hazily remembered 'consent' stuff she had actively voiced. Even if she<i> had technically </i>consented, the argument was, she was clearly taken advantage of. Therefore it was rape.<br />
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No official accusations were ever made, no campus kangaroo court, no shred of evidence was ever produced, but my bud learned his lesson. He had indulged unwisely and dallied with the wrong girl . . . and he nearly had his life ruined over it. He gave his girlfriend an ultimatum and quietly moved on with his life, older and wiser.<br />
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Things are even worse today, now that the anti-rape, anti-male crusade has become institutionalized. Screwing a collegiate undergraduate from the same school you attend is dicing with Fate over your life. (As most schools' campus codes of conduct only cover student-on-student or student-on-teacher sex, screwing a collegiate undergraduate from a nearby school is a LOT safer bet in most situations). <br />
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Today, I'm not sure I could even stomach what passes for dating and mating on campus. <br />
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But there is a way that the young Red Pill man can help stop campus sexual assault:<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Drop out of college.</span></b></div>
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Seriously, fellas. Think about what you are doing to yourself by inflicting this rose-covered vision of success on yourself before you're committed. <br />
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Getting into student loan debt of any size over classes like "Introduction To Digital Photography" and "Contemporary Topics In Hip Hop Culture" is just <i>stupid</i>. When you're 30 and poverty stricken, perhaps it will suddenly become useful, but going to any kind of serious university (say, Belle Knox's prestigious institution) and spending enough to buy half a house <b><i>every year for four years</i></b> is insanity - particularly if you have no idea what you want to do. And since most college-age guys do not, indeed, know what they want to do, college ends up being an expensive vacation you pay for for decades . . . <i>and it doesn't even help that much getting a job.</i><br />
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Now that college men are being targeted for anti-rape crusades like this, you can add a potential life-ruining event into your expensive vacation - some extra charges may apply. In addition to crippling debt, student poverty, and a murky future at best, you can add the specter of a campus show trial and the ruination of your reputation, just because that girl who had totally consensual sex with you last night has a boyfriend, and she feels guilty about what she did with you.<br />
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So why bother? I don't say that in jest. Once upon a time, in the glorious days of our patriarchal ancestors, the economy was such that a college degree was a virtual guarantee of employment and entry into the professional world. Now, not so much. Today your "college experience" is going to look less like <b><i>Animal House</i></b> and more like some sad, desperate Indy art house flick that couldn't get an audience at Sundance. Whatever privileges accrued because of your collegiate status are gone, now. <br />
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But your parents are on your back to do something, and OF COURSE they want you to go to college. To get an Education. To get a Good Job. So you can attract a Good Wife and give them Grandchildren, while you make them proud with your career as a ____________ (anything but an Art Historian). The problem is that this schedule just isn't working anymore. Men are getting to college, finding the "collegiate experience" to be crappy, and are finding all sorts of excuses to drop out.<br />
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University educators are quietly freaking-the-fuck-out over it, as the campus sex ratios start skewing heavily female and the college graduation rates start doing more so. Only they can't come out and say "Hey, we're scaring off all the dudes!" because that would be dis-empowering to the young women who are taking their places, and the daddies who are paying for it. A majority of female students on campus is <i>exactly </i>what feminism wants, so making that a "problem" isn't a good career move for a college administrator. Instead they're couching the issue in terms of "retention" and "graduation completion", and just not mentioning that the majority of drop-outs and never-finished students happen to have penises.<br />
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Thing is, this is an even bigger problem for the schools, and they know it. As pleasing a prospect as a majority female campus is to the HuffPo crowd, it's a serious issue for the institutional health of a university. Why? Because female alumni just don't donate to schools the way that successful male alumni do . . . and they very, very rarely make staggering multi-million dollar endowments or pay to get buildings named after them, the way that patriarchal, egotistical alpha success-junkies do. That's bad news for anyone into institutional giving. College count on succeeding generations of alumni to fill the fund-raising gap, and a bunch of low-donor female graduates whose husbands (if any) really don't want to donate to the school where his wife learned about penises. <br />
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(Digression: UVa frats, do you really want to fuck with your college over their punitive treatment of your hallowed institutions? Send out letters to your alumni requesting that they postpone any further institutional contributions to the college until a more reasonable and respectful approach to this issue is discovered. Look at the number of alumni gifts that come from former fraternity members - you'll find it not only surpasses the gifts by non-frat almums, but that it dwarfs gifts from sorority alums. If UVa realizes that it's going to fall short $10 million this year in its giving campaign, you'll start to get their attention.)<br />
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Consider that a college education, the usual 4 year sheepskin from pretty much any accredited school, is likely going to be required only if you are pursuing an advanced degree in a professional field, such as medicine, law, or STEM. For most positions you are likely to encounter, your brand-spanking new degree that you worked so hard for is a tick mark on someone's form and an extra space on your resume, nothing more. "Some college" tends to work as well as "College graduate" for most jobs.<br />
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So unless you have a burning desire to be a lawyer or doctor - at 18? <i>really? </i>- and have already dedicated yourself to your chosen vocation, going to college without a definite plan is a great way to waste your youth and your parent's money. <br />
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A better bet is to take 2-3 years off after high school, figure out your first career at your leisure, and work your ass off. Coming back to school when you're older and wiser and have a better idea of what you want out of life saves time, money, and effort. <br />
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There's method to my madness. In evaluating male and female patterns of occupational social behavior (because that's the sort of thing Sex Nerds do) it is becoming more and more clear to me that while Women Love Opportunistically and Men Love Idealistically, in terms of career development and approach to the workplace Women <i>Work </i>Idealistically and Men <i>Work</i> Opportunistically.<br />
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That is, when the most successful men and women's careers are examined, in general it can be said that men tend to "luck into" their successful careers or exploit an innate talent or interest, whereas women view work and their vocational aspirations in more noble terms. This can keep them from taking the risks their male counterparts take, and keep them working in an unfavorable position against their best interest out of a sense of duty to the <i>ideal</i> - not the <i>job</i>. <br />
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(Yet according to feminism women's failure to get ahead in the business world is due to "institutionalized sexism" . . .)<br />
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Dudes work differently. You should exploit that by not automatically accepting a preformed template of success left over from an age where it actually worked sometime. If men do best when they discover their own talents and interests and follow them opportunistically, then locking yourself into an ever-decreasing possible number of career paths through a premature commitment to academics might be the very worst thing for you to do.<br />
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Consider what your life would be like if you spent the 18-20 period in hard core monk mode? Get a dumb job, enough to pay whatever expenses you have, and then pump iron and read every day. In two years, you could read the hundred greatest books of all time, which I guarantee would be a more impressive education than you'd get from State U. And six pack abs beat the Freshman Fifteen for SMV any day.<br />
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Some alternatives to college for the ambitious young man:<br />
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1) Military Service<br />
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Not everyone's cup of tea, but if you want the most basic, traditional way of "making a man out of you", then you can't beat military life. Sure, it sucks. It's supposed to. But the skills you take away from it will last you a lifetime, and your chances of banging inexpensive Asian hookers goes up. While being in the military during the middle of a shooting war is exciting, and potentially career-ending, it does train you for basic security and a bunch of other post-military job. Plus there is a growing trend towards privatized security. Let the US Army teach you everything you need to know to be a mercenary in the Third World, and develop your badass aura.<br />
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2) Religious Service<br />
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Rarely taken seriously as a vocation anymore, thanks to the dilution of religion with free-form spirituality (not judging, here, just observing) a young man of a contemplative or compassionate bent might consider investing two years of his youth in the service of his church or religion. Mormons already do this as a mandatory act of transition to adulthood. If you are Catholic, Lutheran or Buddhist consider finding a monastery and seeing if you can't volunteer and participate in monastic life. If you're a Neopagan, consider devoting yourself in service to the Land for two years. Or if you are spiritually inclined but ignorant of religion, consider taking two years to explore your faith in context of religion. You might not gain great job skills, but in terms of personal and spiritual development it's hard to argue with the rewards of service.<br />
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3) Practice A Craft<br />
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Men work with their hands, even the ones who work with their minds. Most dudes have at least the ambitions to build stuff, even if they don't have the skills or the basic idea how to do so. If you've always wanted to build a guitar, a car, a bar, or a boat, now is the time to do so. Find a guy who's doing what you want to do and ask him to learn. Explore what talents your hands and eye might have. Learn how to build a wall, lay bricks, pound nails, dig a ditch, pour concrete, paint, whatever it is that you have a talent or fascination with,, this is the ideal time for you to explore that.<br />
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4) Travel<br />
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"Backpacking in Europe" instead of going to college is such a cliche that it's not even humorous anymore. But travel, as the venerable Roosh V has demonstrated, is an excellent way for a Red Pill man to broaden his horizons. Beyond Europe there is a whole world of incredible discovery available to you, usually for a lot cheaper than even living at home, if you know how to travel. Nor do you have to get a passport, if you don't want to. Spend two years going to wherever you want to, doing whatever you like, and see what places and people speak to your soul. <br />
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5) Learn a Trade<br />
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If learning a craft isn't your forte, consider learning a trade. Don't limit yourself to traditional male jobs like construction, if you can help it, there are a lot of perfectly good trades that can give you a good economic base from which to pursue more elaborate plans. Bartenders tend to be low-skilled positions that can be found anywhere, and the perks are well-known. Similarly learning how to be a high-end barista can get you work anywhere but Utah. Cooking is another great skill, and one that lends itself to universal employment opportunities. Believe it or not, learning how to cut hair allowed one of my friends to leave his depressing job as an analyst and embark on a world tour, with only his kit and his backpack. He was able to work in high-end salons (where the pussy was righteous) but he would also offer to cut anyone's hair in the campgrounds he stayed in for just $10. Two cuts and he'd paid for his rent and his meals for the day. There are many good service trades that a young man can master pretty quickly, allowing him to start reaping the benefits of employment. Find one and learn it.<br />
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One other advantage of skipping the boilerplate college experience? It keeps you from facing a lower standard of proof in a he-said, she-said shouting match over whether her enthusiastic fellatio also implied consent for coitus, or not, and other such diversions. Campus Sexual Assault has become a serious issue. Everyone says so. Clearly men are at fault. So clearly the absolute best thing that we, as men, can do to stop this horrible scourage is to avoid college without a compelling reason to go there.<br />
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Sure, if you want to be a doctor and a lawyer, then go. If you have a free ride lined up, GO. If there is an actual reason beyond "I graduated High School and I didn't know what else to do", then yes, consider college. But if not . . . don't believe the hype. You'll have more fun, more money, and be in a better situation than if you went. You can ALWAYS go back later, when you've figured out a career path to pursue and you've committed to it. Your SMV and Game will be far higher then, anyway, and you'll have the sophistication to avoid most of the boneheaded pitfalls everyone else makes. But don't go right out of high school. <br />
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This move serves not just you, it serves the forces of greater positive masculinity. Women are already the dominant force in most colleges. Let them be. The corporate feminist <b><i>Lean In </i></b>model of graduate universities are producing are <i>not</i> who you want to tie your fortunes to as a man, anyway.<br />
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Better to get a solid STEM degree, or apprentice in a trade, and spend your leisure time enjoying your youth, not struggling to remember Medieval French that you will never use again. <b>By ceding the universities to women, men will actually improve their individual lots by making far better informed choices in academics, career, and mating opportunities.</b><br />
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Of course, that would be BAD news for college women, many of whom are secretly (desperately!) hoping they can land a future doctor or lawyer in time to pick up their $50k student loan debt for her Art History degree. It would also be BAD news for college age women who want to marry in the future at all. Less men at school means less "acceptable" partners for hypergamous marriage. And less dudes on campus means an explosion of Puerarchy, those fellas feminists love to hate. <br />
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So help stop campus sexual assault. Don't go to college. It's really that simple.<br />
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<br />Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com35tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-18458669940606912922014-12-23T22:04:00.000-05:002014-12-23T22:06:15.940-05:00Have Yourself A Very Red Pill Christmas<div style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #3f4549; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 15.3333330154419px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
As the countdown to the holidays begins in earnest, there will undoubtedly be times in which you are thrown into a social situation with a self-declared SJW. This can happen at virtually any time, and you can be accosted for just about any perceived transgression in an airport, on public transportation, at company parties, and, of course, the informal social gatherings that proliferate at this time of year.</div>
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In years gone by our attitude has been, traditionally, to clench our jaw and excuse ourselves at the earliest possibility, reluctant to engage. That's not cowardice - that's a survival technique in a situation which could have long-lasting consequences. </div>
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But some tides have begun to turn, and as feminism, in particular, has made 2014 The Year Feminism Jumped The Shark, you may be feeling a renewed sense of purpose as you consider squaring off with a loud SJW. </div>
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If you are inclined to capitalize on the current wave, and have a desire to become a - albeit small - agent in the greater Culture War, the you might just consider exposing yourself to these relative strangers and doing a bit of Red Knighting.</div>
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Black Knighting, as we are all aware, is the overt process of using the established rules of liberal social justice against its very proponents. A Voice For Men does this on an institutional level, and recently some serious overtures between the MHRM and the Manosphere have resulted in the metaphor of the MHRM being guerrilla warriors to the independent sniping of the various Manosphere blogs and other outlets (lookin' at you, r/theredpill). Both, it was reasoned, were valuable techniques that could work in concert. </div>
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I tend to support that idea.</div>
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To that end, consider Red Knighting: the covert agency of advancing Red Pill memes and ideas in conflict with the established feminist paradigm. The purpose of this is not to convince or convert any SJWs - gods forbid, they're our best recruiting tool! - but to be seen engaging in dialog with said SJW with amused mastery.by others who are less convinced of the shrill righteousness of their cause. </div>
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A good Red Knight may never publicly reveal his allegiance to TRP, but can turn what SJWs call "microagressions" into a verbal martial art, with a little practice. <span style="font-size: 15.3333330154419px;">You don't have to go all SJW-y to do it, either. You, too, can be a subversive Red Knight in your life, particularly on your travels during the holidays, quietly perfecting your own approach to TRP while also subtly lending your voice and (most importantly) your actions to relentlessly (but quietly) fighting this battle underground.</span></div>
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Our strength is not in our ability to organize and form a great, grand movement that can force social change at the meta level. The guerrillas of AVfM can guard that flank. In the Manosphere, our strength is in our decentralization and pervasiveness in society. Here's how "microaggressions" can really be used to the benefit of positive masculinity.</div>
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You can start by refusing to rubber-stamp the "conventional wisdom" about a lot of our key issues by simply stating your opinion in short, controlled bursts. Your refusal to participate in the madness is, in and of itself, a statement. Short, pithy, borderline-trite come-backs that tend to shut down the conversation are best, and the holiday season - with the SJWs festively coming home to spread their crusade of bitter outrage to their families - is an outstanding place for a nascent Red Knight to pursue some entertaining bits of guerrilla ontology.</div>
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Some examples:</div>
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"Pay equity? Not until draft equity."</div>
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"Police report or it didn't happen."</div>
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"Feminism? I prefer science."</div>
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"Thankfully feminism broke the traditional gender role of me having to give a shit."</div>
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"One in five? Not according to the Department of Justice. Of the <i>Obama</i> Administration."</div>
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"Yeah, it's sexist. So is biology. I'm OK with that."</div>
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"If gender is a social construct why aren't little gay boys socialized straight by our dominant cishetero patriarchal culture? Oh, because their sexuality isn't a choice? Either is mine. I'm comfortable with that."</div>
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"You don't get to tell me how to be a man. Any more than I get to tell you how to try to be a woman. Thanks, feminism."</div>
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"Marrying a feminist increases your chances of divorce. Kinda like buying a pretty house on a fault line. But I'd love to hear of some actual evidence to the contrary."</div>
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"Equilibrium is a far more effective and pragmatic approach than equality."</div>
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"You cannot negotiate desire."</div>
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"Men love idealistically. Women love opportunistically."</div>
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"I'd be more inclined to consider pay inequity once there were more than 70 men employed for every hundred women."</div>
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"Which do you think has more rapes, UVA or a Federal Penitentiary?"</div>
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"Women control sex. Men control commitment. Everywhere. Always."</div>
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"Women talk. Men act."</div>
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"Equality or special treatment? Pick one and stick with it."</div>
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"It is not my obligation to change our society so that you may feel better about your life."</div>
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"Do not mistake my devotion to civility as approval or acceptance of your behavior."</div>
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"End sexist gender roles? That's just what I wrote on my Selective Service application. What did you write on yours?"</div>
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"Men have the right to withdraw their participation when it is not in their best interests. If it's a woman's body and her choice, then that is ours."</div>
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"How is reproductive coercion different from rape? Just curious."</div>
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"In every presidential election in the era of mass media, the more attractive candidate has won. Why will this cycle be different?"</div>
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"Fatherhood is a sacred responsibility. Do not mock it."</div>
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"My sperm is viable until I'm in my 70s. I can afford to be choosy."</div>
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"Any reasonable man considers his relationships with women fungible. Occasionally he might find worthy of further investment. But that's a rare thing, these days. Like the last crap of a dying unicorn."</div>
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"I really just don't see the point to most men getting into a real relationship, these days. Really, what's in it for them?"</div>
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"The heart wants what the heart wants. And sometimes the heart wants a girl with a sweet-disposition, a pretty smile, big boobs, and no interest whatsoever in social justice causes."</div>
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"Feminists make great employees and lousy wives."</div>
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"If I was really ever going to treat you as an equal, we'd be fist-fighting already. You should value my sexism."</div>
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" 'Decent' is just another term for 'suppressed.' "</div>
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"Remember that your ability to complain about misogyny was purchased with the blood of patriarchs."</div>
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"Most men feel that feminism is about equality the way that most African Americans feel that the Confederate Battle Flag is about Southern pride and heritage."</div>
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"Nature makes a Woman. It takes other Men to make a Man."</div>
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"Why is the answer to fixing society's problems constantly hinging on convincing men to behave more like women?"</div>
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"Men built Western Civilization. You really don't think we could bust it? Or let it die from neglect out of spite?"</div>
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"There is as much evidence of 'The Patriarchy' as there is of the 'Vast Satanic Sexual Abuse Conspiracy' the FBI found exactly no evidence of."</div>
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"How is your definition of feminism functionally different than the definition of humanism?"</div>
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"If you had a choice between true social and economic equality that left you single until you die alone, or a lifetime of bliss with a loving partner in an overtly sexist society, which one would you choose to live in?"</div>
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"Sure, your partner count doesn't work against you. Unless you believe in science."</div>
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"If you're strong and independent, why would you want a man?"</div>
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"Do you need a man? No? Then don't worry. You probably won't get one."</div>
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"Wan't to stop campus rape? Stay out of college. Not you, Cupcake, I'm talking to you fellas. Seriously. It's a money pit and a minefield of bad decisions. Take a couple of years off and figure out what you want to do, first. It's not like your looks are suddenly going to collapse. Cupcake can date what's . . . left on campus."</div>
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"It's not 'Madonna and Whore'. It's 'Wife and Future Ex-Wife. Get it straight."</div>
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"The rarest of delicacies among die-hard feminists is wedding cake."</div>
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"Among the gender stereotypes feminism managed to successfully smash were chivalry and the incentive to commitment. You're on your own."</div>
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"If it 'shouldn't matter' who leads the relationship, then it shouldn't matter to you who will lead mine. Here's a hint: it will be me."</div>
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"So what will women do in a few years when cheap temporary vasectomies essentially rip their control over their reproduction away? Start hanging out in bars begging for fertilization?"</div>
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"Oh, yeah, that's just what a man wants to come home to: an aging, bitter executive with a freezer full of eggs and a predisposition toward divorce. That's a manly dose of marital and domestic bliss, right there."</div>
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"Men of quality are not attracted to your resume, no matter how many times your girlfriends tell you they are."</div>
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And so on. You get the gist. Subtle but direct jabs of Red Pill goodness. Use it sparingly, with amused mastery, and best against those outside of your immediate social circle. Never get angry, never raise your voice, never loose that cocky grin and steely gaze. </div>
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But when that perky SJW with the nose ring starts screaming about rape culture, or that embittered corporate feminist starts talking about gender oppression, smile . . . and then go at it like a gentleman.</div>
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Merry Christmas, Red Knights. Go forth and be Men for the holidays.</div>
Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com35tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-16938074708300125902014-12-17T12:12:00.000-05:002014-12-17T12:12:02.941-05:00Red Pill Marriage: "Don't Call Me That!"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQl3PwK7F5Qr_JRRNQOYbTF1wKpHi4W5idFnaWvUUj9AKf03dAUfUkMyIXPpJ7wk6vU5cqVWB-YFBsIqcyHrjkEaYSBeGrLeiG0Acoj0RCp1qJPi2YhIyrE7Mv696Wjstqat9tBpB9yklO/s1600/09f332f865bca8b75ef68eb962268300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQl3PwK7F5Qr_JRRNQOYbTF1wKpHi4W5idFnaWvUUj9AKf03dAUfUkMyIXPpJ7wk6vU5cqVWB-YFBsIqcyHrjkEaYSBeGrLeiG0Acoj0RCp1qJPi2YhIyrE7Mv696Wjstqat9tBpB9yklO/s1600/09f332f865bca8b75ef68eb962268300.jpg" height="320" width="232" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I was expecting to break my blog silence with one of my traditional wall-of-text posts, which is still in the works and forthcoming. But as I was flipping channels, after the last of the mid-season finales aired, I came across one of those unscripted reality shows featuring one of those super-huge, I-can't-believe-I-ate-the-whole-box-of-fertility-pills families. The scene showed the brood enthusiastically participating in the rituals of Christmas, and frequently cut from shots of cute kids doing horrible things to gingerbread to the husband-and-wife<i> post-mortem</i> interview.<br />
<br />
The husband was bravely trying to put a good face on the Christmas-gone-awry, and in typical adoring Blue Pill fashion he gave all the credit to his wife. In fact, he said something along the lines of<br />
<br />
"...and none of it would have come together without the hard work of my wife."<br />
<br />
But, apparently, such a self-deprecating and humble bit of praise wasn't adequate. Instead of smiling thankfully and gratefully of his acknowledgement of her hard work and planning, she grimaced and growled:<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoZzb9aDVThYIHzeciwXJpdtz8xmVS2tLn0qoW50jn-rQ_OL_WnhLza60elWzpighR3alWfDxjtw3xtBugZyNNydcHeiQAiE0W6-ctQkuysHPs5HLouggsGaTCylD0UhjCL2bES7k2kovf/s1600/slide7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoZzb9aDVThYIHzeciwXJpdtz8xmVS2tLn0qoW50jn-rQ_OL_WnhLza60elWzpighR3alWfDxjtw3xtBugZyNNydcHeiQAiE0W6-ctQkuysHPs5HLouggsGaTCylD0UhjCL2bES7k2kovf/s1600/slide7.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a><br />
<i>"Don't call me that!"</i><br />
<br />
Ouch.<br />
<br />
He didn't call her a bitch, a cunt, a whore, a slut, a goldigger, or any number of other bits of borderline misogyny to cause offense - the thing she objected to was being referred to as "his wife". Blue Pill Boy immediately corrected, restating the latter half of the sentence using her proper name, but the look on his face said everything. This, clearly, was a woman who did not value either her husband OR their marriage enough to embrace the title.<br />
<br />
This would be shocking, if it wasn't also so abysmally common. One of the most insidious cultural factors eroding the support and strength of modern marriages is the post-modern equal-partnership model (Blue Pill Standard) popular amongst the college-educated and forward-thinking. This model evolved following the Great Divorce-a-Thon in the 1970s, in which newly-empowered wives took Second Wave feminism to the end-zone, essentially re-writing the script on men without their consent or consideration. <br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6q1PjhI6jspqitsVEqo-ZVhbMzMNvXSp4qX4DyFb-_PUdJ9lkdn4E7Wa2NU01HTOMSGuJFfT53h1Vn0egBYp9AoIVa9zr46hCAohrJ33RA1u3IsAbKJZbQHSnuZG0RnODsnQDplyh7_GL/s1600/tumblr_l5i5m4gwnr1qcz6gno1_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6q1PjhI6jspqitsVEqo-ZVhbMzMNvXSp4qX4DyFb-_PUdJ9lkdn4E7Wa2NU01HTOMSGuJFfT53h1Vn0egBYp9AoIVa9zr46hCAohrJ33RA1u3IsAbKJZbQHSnuZG0RnODsnQDplyh7_GL/s1600/tumblr_l5i5m4gwnr1qcz6gno1_1280.jpg" height="320" width="170" /></a>The BPS marriage emphasizes equality, of course, but in doing so it neutralizes those gender-based traits that actually help a marriage survive and thrive. Women who insist on keeping their maiden name or hyphenating are sending a clear signal to the world - and their husbands: "I'm more concerned about my own aggrandizement than I am the success of this family". Women who refuse to be called "Mrs.", and who even get angry if you refer to "her husband", as if such a dirty secret should be whispered in hushed tones, have helped denigrate the cultural underpinnings of marriage.<br />
<br />
And then we come to those who actively eschew being called "wife". After all the struggle for the dress and the ring and the party, they don't actually want the title. Or, as far too many poor idealistic men have discovered over the last two decades, the job.<br />
<br />
If the current Sexodus of men from marriage is disturbing to women, feminist and non-feminist alike, part of that reluctance for men to marry or even to commit is due to the injury feminism has made to the institution. Feminism de-valued marriage from a monumental life-altering event in two people's lives to an aggrandized cohabitation agreement. Feminism sees marriage as a temporary condition, a perspective at odds with most men's conception of marriage. And the reluctance to embrace the idea, much less the term, of wife-hood has in turn given men little incentive to marry and every incentive to reconsider the entire topic of marriage.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwJjQXykxUFPpn83973GaNRzIxHw5NzVqcdg97GMfOUIegwo09XjlqWn9jBHBr4nE_7O402ZHbL99cKySXX9UgOFOlq3kmjRixmD075cHYjIjroR32Sa8I6ABN9f_zBlBfYwKm_CIslasv/s1600/tumblr_l5eztirjMu1qcz6gno1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwJjQXykxUFPpn83973GaNRzIxHw5NzVqcdg97GMfOUIegwo09XjlqWn9jBHBr4nE_7O402ZHbL99cKySXX9UgOFOlq3kmjRixmD075cHYjIjroR32Sa8I6ABN9f_zBlBfYwKm_CIslasv/s1600/tumblr_l5eztirjMu1qcz6gno1_500.jpg" height="320" width="246" /></a>"Don't call me that!" is an acid blast of feminine imperative to the masculine solar plexus. When a woman openly - publicly - repudiates her union with her man by treating the title "wife" as an insult or slur, then that woman is demonstrably unsuitable for marriage. <br />
<br />
Nor is this the first time I've noticed this. I watched a feminist friend of mine almost have a mental meltdown when she had to refer to her former fiance as "her husband". She looked guilty and ashamed . . . of him, not the ring. She waved that sucker around like she was trying to land a jetliner.<br />
<br />
I've seen other women admit to having husbands like they'd admit to having herpes. There's an almost apologetic air to the admission, as if they have lost a bet or assumed an unfavorable mortgage. In conversation they may even go so far as to praise their husbands for some little thing, but this is almost inevitably followed with a disclaimer, as if a husbandly achievement is so remarkable for its own sake that no further elaboration is necessary. "He actually got the kids up and off to school on time. Even made lunches."<br />
<br />
Seeing a woman openly bridling at being referred to as a wife by the ONE PERSON ON THE PLANET with the right to do so is brutally telling. As a means of psychological control in the relationship it is almost ideal. In rejecting the idea of "ownership" feminism considers implicit in the patriarchal oppression of matrimony, feminism also poisons the well for non-feminists by devaluing their own service and devotion to family. When "wife" becomes a curse-word, you can just bet men will be glad to use that as a rationalization to further avoid commitment.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1wADNEu9mARnm6Ce_lFVqXbxgKLrdePjXJKe7kCRjCY5uAIL2EJeRoxn9zCBc_AoRmtoCk9v9YDqqNZ15JgEkpAJMEWs8nm8lJ9viRSoA5ZpLd7mOzgq78mxr5-KusH64ZV2oEr1_KQyJ/s1600/party.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1wADNEu9mARnm6Ce_lFVqXbxgKLrdePjXJKe7kCRjCY5uAIL2EJeRoxn9zCBc_AoRmtoCk9v9YDqqNZ15JgEkpAJMEWs8nm8lJ9viRSoA5ZpLd7mOzgq78mxr5-KusH64ZV2oEr1_KQyJ/s1600/party.JPG" height="222" width="320" /></a><br />
The Red Pill approach to this matter is very straightforward. For single men, believe it or not it is actually in your best interest to respect the institution of marriage in your speech and actions, no matter how galling the expression. Treating husbands as the <i>de facto </i>heads of households during social events will infuriate feminist wives, as will being referred to as "Harry's wife." Denigrating marriage almost never gets you laid - even if you're looking to spin her into a plate, every woman looks for that impossible ideal of the bad-boy-turned-super-dad. <br />
<br />
That doesn't mean you have to be vocally enthusiastic about marriage, either. By cultivating the idea that marriage is a rare and special privilege reserved only for the most elite among women, you establish by your attitude the context you need to inject Preselection into your Game without actually having another woman around to do it for you. By expressing your great reverence for marriage along with your cynicism that you will find a worthy-enough woman to become your wife, you set up a high bar that any woman of your intimate acquaintance is going to pay attention to, regardless of whether or not she is actually entertaining thoughts of a commitment. Being pro-marriage earns you feminine respect, and being inherently reluctant to spend that precious coin on anything less than a unicorn makes you exceptional.<br />
<br />
In fact, it's a single dude's benefit to point out bad marriages, and bad marriage practice to the women in his circle . . . if he can simultaneously point out good marriages, and marital practice to be emulated to his women. It can't help but make them try harder. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN8zG7AiMr6DFxp4-J__WZbwe7xht-2uf0snPIfeV8zn7p5R3pwKVVdCyZfQB2eZ_RR_OxG5O6lJAMQZKTBKhViQZn51GSDPMnI_mw73F3HoKzcZ84Io99m7NoUUPJgjlQGRz6YPv-yuib/s1600/rupplerow_romance.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN8zG7AiMr6DFxp4-J__WZbwe7xht-2uf0snPIfeV8zn7p5R3pwKVVdCyZfQB2eZ_RR_OxG5O6lJAMQZKTBKhViQZn51GSDPMnI_mw73F3HoKzcZ84Io99m7NoUUPJgjlQGRz6YPv-yuib/s1600/rupplerow_romance.jpg" height="320" width="282" /></a>The other advantage to being pro-(good) marriage is that it can cultivate you allies among married men. While a number of single dudes rightly suspect marriage in general, when they do meet someone who does it successfully the last thing you should do is try to pick apart a man's relationship. The code among gentlemen has always been to support a man, once he has made the decision to commit. It may have been the last free decision he ever made, but once made it should be respected, not denigrated. When some young buck calls you an idiot for the sacrifices and hard work you've made over the course of your marriage, the inclination to intervene on his behalf with the police later that evening when things get out of hand will be far less compelling. <br />
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Similarly, when an old girlfriend shows up to the party and you can hook your solid, single pal up, you're going to be a lot MORE inclined if he didn't talk shit about your marriage.<br />
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There are those who maintain that marriage is essentially a Blue Pill sucker's game. I disagree. The growing number of Red Pill marriages (plug for r/marriedredpill and r/redpillwomen) prove that there are ways to do it right . . . and they don't involve shying away from calling your wife by her title. Indeed, the embrace of "outdated gender roles" and the glorious acceptance of a complementary approach to matrimony based on equilibrium, not equality, are hallmarks of these marriages. <br />
<br />
Call your wife "your wife". It's helpful social mate guarding and yes, it does imply a sense of ownership. You do have papers on her, after all. Go further, if you wish, and call her by title: "Wife! Can you fix me a cup of coffee, please?" <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoCpE21_9f-XfyZ3nT_FqEVr0JwNje6XsUuttCZIq-58XqBP3Rhpt0mIk_-N7CJF0Bh1mdwNs8xop5d3szoWI_8m6X6BKBpAsJdKIlspUAytnw0bGi9zH2DCBK48UU-3483v1Qrtl6a7Bi/s1600/1940s-wedding-pinup.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoCpE21_9f-XfyZ3nT_FqEVr0JwNje6XsUuttCZIq-58XqBP3Rhpt0mIk_-N7CJF0Bh1mdwNs8xop5d3szoWI_8m6X6BKBpAsJdKIlspUAytnw0bGi9zH2DCBK48UU-3483v1Qrtl6a7Bi/s1600/1940s-wedding-pinup.jpg" height="320" width="229" /></a>Similarly, for Red Pill Wives calling your husband "Husband", as a proper title of address, helps reinforce not your chattel property status, as feminism claims, but <b>your mutual roles and areas of responsibility in the common enterprise of running the ship. </b><br />
<br />
"Husband" and "Wife" are<i> job titles</i>, and by referring to them you help shape a family culture that emphasizes the dual and complementary nature of the endeavor. And yes, that implies a lot of "baggage": preconsent (in general) to sex, common property, inheritance, differing gender-based responsibilities to house and home. <br />
<br />
A woman who shuns the term doesn't deserve it, A woman who embraces it should be celebrated by having the title used as it was meant, as a term of social respect. Men socially ennoble women by virtue of our commitment, and it's rude of you not to re-affirm that commitment publicly by not using it. <br />
<br />
So this holiday season don't shy away from using the terms - instead, help combat the rising tide of anti-marriage propaganda by treating the institution with the respect it deserves. When most men make it clear to most women that wedding cake is only for the very best among them, then you will inevitably see a shift in perspectives. And when you make it clear that the title you respect most isn't "CEO", "CFO", "President" or "Director", but "Mrs.", you will begin to see some erosion on the other side of the river. Because when feminism runs afoul of the Feminine Imperative (which prizes male commitment), feminism inevitably loses.<br />
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<br />Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com92tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-25019291022861427422014-10-29T10:51:00.001-04:002014-10-29T10:51:49.001-04:00AFC Spreadsheet Challenge Ends This Friday!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirXNPtwENZdGJh1vI8iSlA-UvHadALNpOa1TlS7LdxBRNVG_YkDiR1ZCIOwjJU3XmZV1LA4isRQLRkdNafd4G0msmGInG7GkEq7-dVa5GjjEHHqeRBQK4YQQ9Q4dIJBSRMDqSrbZGa9RZX/s1600/illustrated-by-charles-dye.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirXNPtwENZdGJh1vI8iSlA-UvHadALNpOa1TlS7LdxBRNVG_YkDiR1ZCIOwjJU3XmZV1LA4isRQLRkdNafd4G0msmGInG7GkEq7-dVa5GjjEHHqeRBQK4YQQ9Q4dIJBSRMDqSrbZGa9RZX/s1600/illustrated-by-charles-dye.jpg" height="259" width="320" /></a></div>
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If you recall, a few months back I issued the <a href="http://www.theredpillroom.blogspot.com/2014/07/the-afc-spreadsheet-challenge-run-your.html" target="_blank">AFC Spreadsheet Challenge</a>, inviting all married men who were curious about the Red Pill to track their sex lives with their wives over a 90 period, starting August 1 and ending October 31. As that day draws to a close, I encourage all of you to make that final push to get your numbers up or, conversely, begin the painful process of data analysis with the data pool that you've assembled.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf2r9Y1GaORCKJfXjMiKxj-4t8nIJysP7p1uQ9QvS_9NG-fGAWYu0E1ghZGKCclALi2Ji1-2xQyouQ2QKJmAMsVedQlBcLtZO0r7nAqZSLs9oP46dApQ9A_P_U4Rp2Eix3Zb7DuHPxxqdM/s1600/6253240339_3376b8ee99_m.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf2r9Y1GaORCKJfXjMiKxj-4t8nIJysP7p1uQ9QvS_9NG-fGAWYu0E1ghZGKCclALi2Ji1-2xQyouQ2QKJmAMsVedQlBcLtZO0r7nAqZSLs9oP46dApQ9A_P_U4Rp2Eix3Zb7DuHPxxqdM/s1600/6253240339_3376b8ee99_m.jpg" height="320" width="244" /></a></div>
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How many times did you approach? How many times did you initiate? How many times were you successful? How many times were you rejected? What reasons/excuses/rationalizations did your wife give you?<br />
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Remember, there is no right answer, except in the sense that you are evaluating raw, hard, objective data about your sex life. Every relationship is different, so don't feel competitive with other men about your stats. What's important is what you feel when you look down at those raw numbers, and realize what they say about you, your wife, and your relationship. Without real data, it's impossible to spot a problem, much less fix one.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggvBvRtuEVlIaBO23PM0ddrW2lYefEBr24PYcBORFvv6WxzjYdtlkJ1cgPFZ0NiDnp_kTfPFybpRiTo4i6WrBD16OogbDpfXybiVZLHF20sLOzr06VifH1YJoFswJCbGCejGMBp4lRUHEj/s1600/6258330414_1cd347cbcd_m.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggvBvRtuEVlIaBO23PM0ddrW2lYefEBr24PYcBORFvv6WxzjYdtlkJ1cgPFZ0NiDnp_kTfPFybpRiTo4i6WrBD16OogbDpfXybiVZLHF20sLOzr06VifH1YJoFswJCbGCejGMBp4lRUHEj/s1600/6258330414_1cd347cbcd_m.jpg" height="320" width="253" /></a></div>
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Feel free to share your results here (Anonymously, if you like), because while this isn't a competition, the whole secondary purpose of this exercise is to share data with your peers for review. If you're working a Red Pill strategy, how does it stack up to the Blue Pill strategies? Let's see what the data says. And no embellishments, Gentlemen. <br />
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I'll probably leave this post up awhile. As a brief programming note, I'll probably be neglecting this blog for a few months, thanks to one of my projects being green-lighted (could be an Ian Ironwood-written porn movie coming out, it seems) along with some other writing projects I need to focus on. I'll still be lurking, don't get me wrong, but if I'm not as active on Twitter, here, and Reddit for awhile, don't get worried. This is one of my most productive times of year.<br />
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Lastly, Happy Hallowe'en, and to my Pagan brethren, may you have a productive and reflective Samhain!<br />
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<br />Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-89548412634713199352014-10-17T12:21:00.000-04:002014-10-17T12:21:36.124-04:00"Making Responsive Desire AWESOME": Feminism still has no answers.I was hanging out over at Feminist Sex Nerd Dr. Emily Nagoski's blog, The Dirty Normal today, and <a href="http://www.thedirtynormal.com/blog/2014/10/10/making-responsive-desire-awesome/" target="_blank">I came across this post about how to make responsive desire (which most women possess most of the time) "awesome". </a><br />
<br />
Problem is, Emily's answer to it falls somewhat short of "awesome". But she does invite her readers to tell how "spontaneous desire" people (i.e. most men, most of the time) deal with "responsive desire" people (i.e. most women, most of the time). <br />
<br />
The responses that followed tended to be straight-up Blue Pill methodology, i.e. the "responsive desire" spouse still maintains the sexual control in the relationship and the "spontaneous desire" spouse is advised to "self regulate" (i.e. masturbate).<br />
<br />
While I'm all for a good wank, the plain fact of the matter is that men don't get married so that they can masturbate. Our desire for sex is paramount to most other considerations. Open, honest communication, which Dr. Emily suggests is the winning strategy, tends to flow out of our mouths as "I'm horny and I'm bitterly disappointed that you rejected me again", to which the RD spouse usually says "deal with it."<br />
<br />
So . . . no win for Emily, there. <br />
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Most of the following (my comment, too long not to turn into a post and in danger of being deleted in moderation) will not be a big surprise to most of you, but might be instructive to those who are new to the Red Pill. Here is, in a nutshell, how I got here and why:<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I'll bite.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My partner (wife of 23 years), like most women, falls into
the standard 70%/30% responsive/spontaneous category, dependent primarily on
her place in her menstrual cycle. I'm
about 80% spontaneous, 20% responsive.
For the first eighteen or nineteen years of our relationship we followed
the Standard Model of post-feminist marriage, with hit-or-miss sexual
encounters involving a large number of initiations on my part and a large
number of rejections on hers. Once we
matured as a couple, things got a little better, but we were still largely
depending on random variables and crappy timing. Attraction was high, arousal was not. That's mostly because we didn't truly
understand the functioning male/female cishetero dynamic, until I started
studying the potential for Female Viagra, which (among other areas) led me to
this blog and Emily.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Emily's work has led me to conclude that the Standard Model
used by most married couples post-1965, depending on the ideal of presumed
equality of sexual experiences and outcomes between the genders, is highly
flawed and works in a minority of cases at best. It ignores the essential gender differences
between cishet men and women, and depends on a range of low-return strategies
that lead, eventually, to divorce. It
discourages, rather than encourages, pairbonding and long-term relationship
survival, and encourages infidelity, socio-sexual polygamy, divorce, and the
dissolution of families. As sexuality is
the root of marriage in every human culture, and as "married sex" is
highly denigrated by both popular mainstream culture and feminist subculture,
using the Standard Model as a workable theory is a recipe for failure.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In breaking down a workable replacement for the Standard
Model, Emily suggested to me the SIS/SES mode, which makes far more sense and
fits with the observable reality of cishet LTRs. And when examining the Context Dependence
elements of the SES, it became clear that no amount of chemical monkeying
around with female sexuality is going to increase a given woman's over-all sex
drive and satisfaction. Pink Viagra
doesn't exist. Female sexuality is, as
Emily has explained, just far too complex and sophisticated to respond to cheap
neurochemical theatrics.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So . . . what's a standard model, spontaneous desire-driven
husband to do? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Current literature on the subject includes lots of
"helpful" advice which falls into two categories: Treat Your Wife
Like A Princess (let's call it Mode A), essentially using your resources to
decrease her SIS until she's just so darned relaxed that she has no real reason
to say no to sex; and then there is the much-smaller Mode B, which, among other
things, does not advocate treating your wife like a princess. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The problem is, Mode A <i>doesn't work</i>. Oh, it can have a few short-term positive
effects, but if the goal is to increase your sex life (as it is with most
husbands with strong spontaneous desire) then Mode A involves expending a lot
of resources for very little return. It
will make your wife feel good, no doubt, but . . . well, anecdotal evidence
demonstrates that subservient, attentive husbands just are not having the crazy
amounts of sex with their wives suggested by the Treat Your Wife Like A
Princess model. Quite the contrary. There are so man Very Good Men who are doing
everything under the sun for their wives, and their wives are still divorcing
them for no particularly good reason.
It's a big enough deal that major news outlets are writing about it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, just how does your standard cishet married couple learn
to deal with such issues? For one thing,
I educated myself about the difference between arousal and attraction. Mode A emphasizes trying to build desire by
fueling attraction - being supportive, communicative, and other stuff to work
on the SIS. All well and good . . . but
it does jack to build desire. As studies
have shown repeatedly, doing laundry and housework does not actually lead to
more sex for a married couple, despite two generations of feminist rhetoric to
the contrary. It might make the wife
happier, but it actually decreases the amount of sex. So Mode A is a fail, for this purpose. Waiting around for her to ovulate so that you
can take advantage of her brief spontaneous desire window is not the kind of
sex life most husbands signed up for.
Indeed, once-a-month sex is the clinical definition of a "sexless
marriage".</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If Mode A builds attraction but not arousal, then . . .
what? Emily has little to say about
stimulating the SES, in any helpful fashion.
And there's a reason for that.
Because the one thing that DOES consistently (and scientifically) tend
to build arousal in women, as opposed to attraction, is dominant male
behavior. That's Mode B. That's the mode that Emily and the rest of
the current crop of sex educators doesn't want to delve into, for two reasons. One, it's dangerously close (ideologically
speaking) to nasty ol' patriarchy, denies women's agency, encourages male
sexual "entitlement" (because men wanting to have sex is
"entitlement") and otherwise contradicts the feminist narrative about
How Sex SHOULD Work. All that consent
stuff Emily wrote about, after this post, for instance.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It's good stuff, don't get me wrong . . . but it ignores (as
much of Emily's writing on the subject does) the ugly reality that regardless
of what genderless pronoun constructions you try to use to describe it,
generally cishet men and cishet women are very different in generalizable ways,
when it comes to their approach to sexuality.
And while those generalizations do not describe every situation
adequately, the do so well enough for most folks to be of use. The fact is, if a man wants to learn how to
invoke reactive desire in his wife consistently, then the only certain way to
do that is to cultivate a male-dominant attitude and approach to both his sex
life and his personal life.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And that really damages the whole "equal partner"
construct that modern marriage is supposed to reflect. Problem is, modern marriage is coughing up
blood trying to swallow that particular pill.
That's not an issue for folks who view marriage as a temporary thing, as
most modern women often do, but for men who value their commitment and wish to
establish a permanent relationship, being an "equal partner" in a
marriage seems about the surest way to kill it beyond criminal charges or an
unemployed live-in brother-in-law. The
"equal partner" dynamic insisted upon by Mode A does not encourage
female arousal. It discourages it. Husbands working under the "equal
partners" mode do not initiate often, they do not persist after an initial
rejection, and they are so mindful of their partners mental-emotional state
that they will fail to initiate even when circumstances present themselves,
leading to frustration on the part of both parties. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mode A "equal partnerships" do not encourage
male-dominant behavior, they discourage it.
And in doing so, they discourage the arousal triggers that allows a man
and a woman to properly function as a sexually-fulfilled cishet monogamous
couple. In short, the wife grows less
and less aroused by her husband, even if her attraction for him waxes, and
eventually an opportunity or a growing sexual dissatisfaction encourages her to
seek for sexual novelty outside of the relationship to make up the lack. Equal partnerships lead far more frequently
to infidelity than male-dominated marriages.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That's the uncomfortable truth that Emily, and the other
feminist-oriented sex researchers (and that's the vast majority, these days)
don't want you to really understand.
There is no Pink Viagra, because women's sexual psychology is too
complex to respond to a drug. The drug
it craves is psycho-sexual stimulation brought on by the context or observation
of male-dominant social behavior. Every
time a wife exercises her "independence" at the expense of her
husband, socially, she is sabotaging her own arousal for him, and her own
possible sexual fulfillment as a result.
Every time a husband defers to his wife’s judgment, presenting a
submissive side to her, he squashes his own hopes of a fulfilling sexual
experience.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You want “concordant desire”? You want “enthusiastic consent”? You want “joyful succumbing”? Feminist sexuality has no practical route to
that for cishetero couples. Not one
based in reality and demonstrating any kind of success. While bashing the shaming nature of our
culture when it comes to sex – and quite rightly – the feminist-led sex
education and research establishment in our culture has done little to rectify
that. Indeed, instead of decreasing the
amount of shame, feminism has encouraged the wholesale shaming of male
sexuality and male social dominance to the point where it has had a profound and
widely-observed deleterious effect on men in our culture. Men being socially dominant at work are told
to “check their privilege’ by well-meaning feminists. Men being socially dominant at home are told
to beware of patriarchy creeping into their lives (without any explanation
about why patriarchy might, in fact, be a good thing).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The feminist sex education industry has done some remarkable
things when it comes to improving the understanding and sex lives of
women. But when it comes to improving and
understanding the sex lives of men, or the practical functioning of an actual
cishetero relationship, the political ideology of equality runs smack into the
hard, cold science of sexuality. Women
dig dominant men, and are aroused by them. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Feminism discourages men from becoming dominant, and
actively struggles against a culture that encourages men to be dominant. Once Emily convinced me that feminism was
just the wrong way to run my marriage, things got a LOT better.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By establishing a regime of socially-dominant and traditionally-masculine
behaviors, the kind of stuff that leads directly to female arousal, not female
attraction, I’ve managed to work with Mrs. Ironwood’s responsive desire and
escalate the number of sexual encounters while reducing the number of
rejections. We went from once every 2
weeks or so under Mode A to five or six times a week, sometimes more, under
Mode B. Male social dominance,
confidence (which is more than just knowledge and understanding of your body)
and applied charisma did more to increase reactive desire and improve sexual
joy than any amount of dishes, backrubs, and flattery.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nor am I alone.
Thanks in part to Emily’s work, thousands of couples are now taking a
second look at male dominance in their marriage, and end up saving and
improving their marriages as a result.
Without, I might add, recourse to marriage counseling and other
crutches. While this is by no means a
silver bullet, it is a far, far more productive strategy when dealing with a
woman with strong reactive desire than anything I’ve seen come out of Emily’s
work, yet. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That may be in part due to her feminist identification,
which precludes advocating masculine dominance in any setting, no matter how
effective. Or, she might surprise me and
propose a workable and practical way to make the Mode A “equal partners”
approach work in a way that invites the happy fulfillment of both parties, not
just the woman, and a way that doesn’t encourage infidelity or presuppose the
temporary nature of “commitment”, when it comes to marriage. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But the science is there.
The practical application is there.
The peer-reviewed exchange of information is happening. Techniques are being refined. And the current surge of suspicion of
feminism that’s surfacing in the popular culture is indicating that there is fertile
ground for this approach to fall on.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m not tempted to believe Emily will respond to this
comment, or even read it – she doesn’t, usually, considering our opposition on
several points, and her unwillingness to read comments longer than her original
posts. But I leave this here to help
inform any other poor husband desperately searching for a way to make his
marriage work again. You won’t find the
answers here. You will find some good
information, but Emily won’t tell you how to make your wife aroused for you
again, she’ll only be able to convince your wife that there isn’t anything
wrong with her lack of desire for you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you want the real answers, you’ll have to seek them
elsewhere. But that’s how one
spontaneous desire husband dealt with his reactive desire wife. He rediscovered his masculinity, honed it
into a helpful tool, and applied it wholeheartedly to his marriage. Now he’s getting laid like a teenager and his
union has never been stronger. Hold that
up to a 50% divorce rate and declining marriage rates, and see if you can find
anything in feminism that promises better.</div>
Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-7507571833443314042014-10-08T12:17:00.001-04:002014-10-08T12:17:52.963-04:00Breaking Beta: Ending Female Social EntitlementFeminism has made a lot of "male sexual entitlement", the demon responsible for everything from catcalling and beer commercials to sex trafficking, according to the Cathedral. Indeed, the feminist attack on male sexuality stems from its constant battle with "male sexual entitlement"; the feminist theory goes that if a man feels that he has a decent shot at having sex with a woman under nearly any normal circumstances, he's actually oppressing her with his patriarchal entitlement to her body, or something like that. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ3hTx9I6wVAt0VxVE-kDeiO9ZHoJY0VTtwlpmXv0KKWm_4iLOibcgTkaQ9vBAg2UvhKj7_7-bxMtBrZ84YXPVMwIgWJ0orkj0oz-P9GWMDdES_TthiRIsgO4jIqrJvY6iE4Ti2EF9fOyg/s1600/2295d370-8ab9-4214-9bc2-6e1008422627.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ3hTx9I6wVAt0VxVE-kDeiO9ZHoJY0VTtwlpmXv0KKWm_4iLOibcgTkaQ9vBAg2UvhKj7_7-bxMtBrZ84YXPVMwIgWJ0orkj0oz-P9GWMDdES_TthiRIsgO4jIqrJvY6iE4Ti2EF9fOyg/s1600/2295d370-8ab9-4214-9bc2-6e1008422627.jpg" height="320" width="239" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
Because feminism can't wrap it's frizzy little head around the concept that the male desire for sex - which crosses all sexual preferences in our sex - is such a powerful force in our lives that we would willingly give up, say, a fulfilling platonic relationship with a woman if there wasn't a sexual component. Despite the propaganda about gender equality, when it comes to dating and mating, feminism still jealously guards the female imperative to control sex in the SMP. Feminism feels assured that if it shames and browbeats enough men, they will cease pitting women against each other in competition for the highly-valued mates ("Alphas", though they never use the term) and allow feminine society to determine which women should end up with which men and for how long.<br />
<br />
Of course that's ludicrous, for many different reasons, but that's the feminist M.O. on mating: male sexual entitlement (male sexuality) is BAD, while female social entitlement ("Let's just be friends", or LJBF) is seen as some gracious gift nearly as valuable as the one she keeps between her legs.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMwGTqBJd3Cufx1e45B6T5ORr_nedg3N2NjDhbK9J4Yr7MbxyFnOvQOHMk0PqN2JYj6zisoczNpDeNOwdB49wQgVSvhKTpAdzOrjvGiiddg1L4Err_muj0rypJXmlAHOV6svH9Gi7dVRjx/s1600/8c7a6640e4e1cc48851ffac0e46a778a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMwGTqBJd3Cufx1e45B6T5ORr_nedg3N2NjDhbK9J4Yr7MbxyFnOvQOHMk0PqN2JYj6zisoczNpDeNOwdB49wQgVSvhKTpAdzOrjvGiiddg1L4Err_muj0rypJXmlAHOV6svH9Gi7dVRjx/s1600/8c7a6640e4e1cc48851ffac0e46a778a.jpg" /></a>Female Social Entitlement is the ugly dark side of the feminist equation. You won't find it spelled out specifically in the literature, exactly, but it implicitly enshrines the AF/BB concept as an institution, when accepted. And this, not coincidentally, is where many poor Beta boys start the inevitable downward spiral.<br />
<br />
When a woman rejects a man, but doesn't want to lose access or support she can casually pick up from him at no personal cost to herself, using LJBF is a way her Rationalization Hamster can assuage her guilt for rejecting a dude who, on paper, is a Perfectly Decent Guy. It's not that she dislikes the Beta Boy - she just has no tingles for him, and her hypergamous instinct tells her to shelve such a pristine dude for later, when her sexual capital starts to wane.<br />
<br />
By attempting to make a social connection with an undesired male permanent with a LJBF, the woman is staking a kind of claim on his time and energy that she does not necessarily deserve . . . but she rationalizes it through her sense of social entitlement. Why wouldn't a decent man want to be her friend, after all? Why would he allow base sexuality to come between him and what she just knows in her heart is a fulfilling future of platonic social interaction? Why wouldn't he want to introduce her to his circle of handsome and successful friends? Is he that threatened by her?<br />
<br />
Heh.<br />
<br />
That's what Female Social Entitlement is: the expectation of an alliance based on an unreciprocated sexual interest. It's a shit-test of the highest order, and women know it. Indeed, to her mind, rejecting a LJBF shit-test is both a criticism of her worthiness and - as a result - her hamster must reconcile such a rejection with her own sense of self-worth (usually hyperinflated) by denigrating the male who dared reject her gracious offer of friendship.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-ejNFHXrGTy6pUjjOHriZM7a8tYiz7eKxwwHav2lXzn-m3TWZJpySe_9ArM95O76Ahyphenhyphen-E4xodCpcf8bD0INp6_677In22rdoe2aI7WW6G7poyJbgqiykBZoVuYwi156zdZz-SM3UTTAqL/s1600/5135033344_84e474c725_m.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-ejNFHXrGTy6pUjjOHriZM7a8tYiz7eKxwwHav2lXzn-m3TWZJpySe_9ArM95O76Ahyphenhyphen-E4xodCpcf8bD0INp6_677In22rdoe2aI7WW6G7poyJbgqiykBZoVuYwi156zdZz-SM3UTTAqL/s1600/5135033344_84e474c725_m.jpg" /></a>But for the Blue Pill Beta Chump, LJBF is an insidious trap. Not seeing it as the shit-test it is, they blindly stumble into the heart of female social expectation with their dick in their hands and end up frustrated, angry, and resentful. If they do stick around long enough to witness the woman's unceremonious and inevitable impact with the Wall, they might just pick her up in a moment of weakness . . . still seeing her for the highly-valued potential she once had, not the last dregs of her sexuality she's reserving for him . . . or whatever Alpha she can scare up one last time.<br />
<br />
Women who use the LJBF rejection don't understand the implied humiliation they are heaping on the recipient - they see their friendship as a valued consolation prize, perhaps ultimately more valuable than their own sexuality. Friendship, to women, implies an alliance . . . with other women. With men, it's decidedly a one-way street. Of what value does a platonic female friend have for a dude? Unless she's actively trying to get him laid, she's represents a waste of resources unlikely to pay any significant dividends. She will expect her orbiting chumps to help her move, help her with work or school, bail her out of jail or trouble, come to her defense, and even loan her money without any sexual expectation because the concept of "friendship" varies so differently between men and women. <br />
Yet if you attempt to challenge a woman on this, in most cases she will become rightously offended. If of a feminist bent, she will attempt to shame you for your inability or unwillingness to control your sexual desires, degrade you for being shallow, and otherwise respond more or less as she would for rejecting any other shit test.<br />
<br />
I've seen a number of adept players spin LJBF into something more productive, but it takes iron-clad holding of Frame and a cultivated insensitivity to female feelz. The acknowleged master in my day was a pre-law Duke student named Trevor, who was the kind of short, aggressively-Alpha dude who made up for a lack of looks and build by utterly dominating Game.<br />
<br />
When Trevor would hear LJBF, he'd get a concerned look on his face. He could play it a couple of different ways, but usually the conversation went something like this:<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbPzu5KIZUy7cLa5EfBEEk1XpNkkr7p_ANeZPNUJhuVX_h7ZhhOW9eS-8Z6ss8Oxd3J-66WhbLxLaLaHqIzIdBBF-7pHbQnTx-QzB-Zq0megoz4Jn5zUx4QwgiXxfO-sDNMlZCjZG2R943/s1600/f1c7d517a9b47483b1cfef39fa0d7ba3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbPzu5KIZUy7cLa5EfBEEk1XpNkkr7p_ANeZPNUJhuVX_h7ZhhOW9eS-8Z6ss8Oxd3J-66WhbLxLaLaHqIzIdBBF-7pHbQnTx-QzB-Zq0megoz4Jn5zUx4QwgiXxfO-sDNMlZCjZG2R943/s1600/f1c7d517a9b47483b1cfef39fa0d7ba3.jpg" height="400" width="291" /></a>SHE: "Look, I really like you, you're a great guy, but I don't want to be in a relationship right now. Can't we just be friends?"<br />
<br />
TREV: "My friends help me get laid. Are you going to do that?"<br />
<br />
SHE: "I beg your pardon?"<br />
<br />
TREV: "I'm highly selective about the women I sleep with, and I'm even more selective about the people in my circle I call my friends. They have one thing in common: they all are actively trying to get me laid."<br />
<br />
SHE: "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!"<br />
<br />
TREV: "True nonetheless. They find it a rewarding pursuit - I can be a very, very good friend, (This was true - Trevor was highly appreciative if you found him a promising lead). But if you aren't working in my best interest, you're not really my friend, are you?"<br />
<br />
SHE: (Confused) "Uh, I guess so . . ."<br />
<br />
TREV: "I mean, if you're my friend, are you going to introduce me to your slutty good-looking girlfriends?"<br />
<br />
SHE: "No! I mean, yes! Maybe! I . . ."<br />
<br />
TREV: "See how conflicted you are about that? Suddenly you're my friend, and you've promised to try to get me laid. But you don't really want to let me screw your slutty friends. Where does that leave us? You keeping me from hitting on your friends? The only reason to do that is if you want me yourself."<br />
<br />
SHE: "You wouldn't really hit on my friends . . ." (preparing for another shit-test, now that she realizes that Trev is not your AFC)<br />
<br />
TREV: "Honey, I'd fuck your two best friends on your bed while you watch, just ask any of my friends. I'm in this to get laid, and either you're with me or against me." (it was the 1990s . . . I actually heard him use the line "if you don't blow me in the parking lot, the terrorists win" successfully once). <br />
<br />
SHE: "That's so . . . crude! Why can't we just be friends?"<br />
<br />
TREV: "I've told you why, darlin'. My friends look out for my pecker. That's their defining characteristic. Now if you want to be my friend, that's what you're signing up for. Conversely, if you want to look out for my pecker by yourself, well, I'm open to that possibility as well."<br />
<br />
<br />
And on and on it went. By steadfastly holding Frame and denying the legitimacy of her Female Social Entitlement, he could turn a LJBF into a fast close in the space of three minutes.<br />
<br />
Not everyone is so masterful. Trev is now a very successful patent attorney, and he had natural charisma the way Sinatra had pipes. But there are some strong lessons to be pulled from his Game.<br />
<br />
First, of course, is that LJBF is a bona fide shit-test under any circumstances. If you accept it, you lose. <br />
<br />
Second, women have a natural feeling of entitlement to your friendship, alliance, and good will based entirely upon your sexual attraction to them (and their lackluster assessment of you as a mate). This is not a bad-faith move, as it appears, it's just the residue of feminine hypergamy at work. Stacking up a few orbitors is good insurance for BB later on down the road, post-Wall. But if you don't want to be BB, then you have to disabuse them of the notion that your friendship - which serves as a diminished form of your commitment to her - <i>is free for the asking. </i><br />
<br />
What that does, in effect, is to de-value your own friendship while inflating the value of her sexuality. She does not really mean to be a supportive friend, and you both know it. But that does not mean that she will not impose on that friendship, if she has the need and opportunity, and you both know it. It also means that her sexuality is more-or-less permanently off the table, regardless of your feelings on the matter. And you both know it.<br />
<br />
Beta chumps will get suckered on this play. Alphas won't. They don't cooperate with Female Social Entitlement any more than a feminist cooperates with Male Sexual Entitlement (unless he's really cute or has a motorcycle or something). An Alpha will shut that shit down the moment it comes up.<br />
<br />
A Beta aspiring to break the vicious, ugly cycle of LJBF often discovers that rejecting a woman's Female Social Entitlement - and dealing with the resulting ugly consequences of her hamstering - is often the first step on the road to breaking his Beta. By valuing your interpersonal relationships and actual friendships as much as a woman values the sexual power of her vagina, you establish hand in any relationship you indulge in. Keeping the idea of "female friends" as a capitulation to Female Social Entitlement, and a genuine disservices to the interests of the man in question, is vital to cultivating the masculine mindset that keeps your Game fresh and effective.<br />
<br />
There are ways to use the "LJBF" cynically, of course. Agreeing, ala BB, to "just be friends" and then using that friendship to get close to her own circle of female friends is one way to go about it. I've seen a hardened player go through three or four girls in the same social circle by trading on the "Oh, I'm good friends with Julie, but she's not into the same sorts of kinks I am" line and make it pay off handsomely. Of course, he left a trail of broken hearts and bruised hamsters behind, but that's the nature of the beast.<br />
<br />
Lastly, for those of you genuinely offended by the idea that a man and a woman can't "just be friends", your idealism does you credit . . . but it's going to damage your social life. The painful LJBF meme is openly acknowledged on both sides of the ideological spectrum, although the perspectives on it are different. Feminism and its allies want you to believe that men are secretly noble and good and can "control their sexuality" enough to be decent to women without their sexuality becoming an issue, but that nobility is hidden under a thick layer of culturally-derived and artificial baggage about "gender norms" and stereotypes.<br />
<br />
The Red Pill, on the other hand, acknowledges that men are sexual creatures whose primary goal in life is expressing that sexuality with as many women as he comfortably can - and that sexually non-productive relationships are an unnecessary drain on his resources. <br />
<br />
Now the more Beta Boys we can get to recognize the reality of the latter, and start answering LJBF with the acid it deserves, the better. Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-32523626332156968682014-09-22T15:46:00.002-04:002014-09-22T15:46:21.827-04:00Response To A Comment On Anti-FeminismI got this comment on my "Feminism: This Is What's Wrong With You" post, and my response was too long for the comments, so I decided to post it here. <br />
<br />
Here's the comment:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know I'm late to the party here, but having just been shown this post I want to make one thing absolutely clear: the fact that many of us are now *against* what mainstream feminism has become absolutely does not mean we're *with* the likes of you.</span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We're not against feminism because we disagree with its purported goal of true equality of opportunity among the sexes, or our absolute right to self-determination and bodily autonomy, or with dismantling gender roles and the expectations and assumptions they impose on individuals.</span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We're never going to stand with anyone who believes anything, ever, gives a person the "native right" to use another's body sexually without their ongoing enthusiastic consent. Or dehumanises men by insinuating that they are such slaves to impulse that if they can't rape their wives they'll inevitably cheat on them. Or generalises the nature of individuals' sexuality based on their sex alone. Or does not support an individual's right to end a relationship on their own terms. Or espouses the sexist view that marriage is somehow a pillar of femininity more than one of masculinity. Or implies women (but not men) must choose *either* a career or a family. Or believes that when partners each choose to keep their own names in an equal relationship this is somehow emasculating.<br />We're "against feminism" because yes, the mainstream feminist movement ignores and derides male issues, because it adopts stances that are fundamentally sexist, because it fails to address intersectionality with issues of race and gender identity, and because it manufactures victimhood and fear, among other things.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But we're still for true equality. Not for tired old sexist bullshit like using women who don't wear what you think they should wear as a simile for being clueless and out of touch.</span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sincerely, </span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A woman with three advanced science degrees. </span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And my response:</span><br />
<br />
I think you characterize our position. Please allow me to rebut.<br />
<br />
Let's look at what "the likes of us" have actually been saying here, not what feminism has portrayed us as saying. At no point have I (or most in the Manosphere - I understand that there are some exceptions) endorsed or espoused any denial of equal opportunity or equal treatment under the law. Nor has their been any serious suggestion of impairing any of the rights women currently enjoy under our liberal democratic system of government. I myself am politically a Progressive, meaning my political philosophy stems from Humanism. Most folks in the Manosphere are adherents to this philosophy, which advocates the legal, moral, and ethical equality of all people.<br />
<br />
With me so far?<br />
<br />
Let me be blunt: the Red Pill does not advocate anyone ever doing anything non-consensual, sexually or otherwise. It never has, and to say so is a gross mis-characterization of the praxeology. What you portray as a "native right" is actually a biologically determined pattern of mating behavior that belies the feminist perspective on sex and sexuality. When idealism collides with the realities of science, idealism usually suffers. Just ask the Marxists in Eastern Europe.<br />
<br />
Far from "dehumanizing" men, the Red Pill approach to positive masculinity acknowledges the deep importance of sexuality to the average man's life and attempts to help him realize his goals in that regard. It is the feminist perspective, that all men are aggressive sexual predators, that dehumanizes men. The Red Pill uplifts them to a more profound understanding of their own masculinity. And yes, sex is a valued part of that equation. <br />
<br />
But some of your other issues demonstrate a lack of regard for masculine culture and masculine behavior - as men determine to define it, not women. For example, the refusal of a wife to take a husband's name IS emasculating, and indicative of her eventual desire to end the marriage. It's a legitimate warning sign men who fear divorce (and what man doesn't?) need to be aware of before marriage. That's a pragmatic, not idealistic perspective. Nor does the Red Pill demand that women choose between career and family or ask that men do; Mrs. Ironwood, and most other RP women, do have careers of their own. The difference is that they have demonstrably put their family life ahead of their career goals in a way that makes feminists cringe. Most RP men would also say they share that perspective: their careers are a means to support their families, not the other way around. <br />
<br />
The fact that marriage does advantage women more than men - and that divorce punishes men more than women - makes it a far more desirable goal for women than men, nor is the burning desire for wedding cake a common discussion in male circles. Men control commitment in our species, however, so marriage and commitment are important issues for us . . . just as they are highly important to a large number of women.<br />
<br />
If we generalize sexuality, that's because we look at science, for which generalities - that is, aggregate data - show patterns at work from which useful data can be used. Knowing such "generalizations" can steer men away from dangerous and unproductive relationships. If that means a few innocent girls get dumped along the way, I think greater femininity can take the hit.<br />
<br />
But refusing to acknowledge the scientifically-studied biological truths that underlie the patterns of human mating in our society, namely the prevalence of <b>Hypergamy</b> and<b> Polygamy</b> as the primary mating strategies of humans in nearly every human culture, is seeking to place the rosy ideal of equality above the brutally pragmatic reality that most people face every day. Men do cheat. Women do cheat. We explain why, and what to do to avoid it. Post-feminism, marriage is bad for men. We explain why and how to deal with it. Divorce is very bad for men. We explain why and what to do to avoid it. <br />
<br />
Marriage used to be the negotiated exchange (yes, by any scientific definition) of sex and security; without the security of consensual sex and real authentic commitment, men are simply better off avoiding commitment altogether. It's not a matter of ideals or ideology, it's a simple, pragmatic fact. Women are more aroused by more dominant men, therefore teaching men how to be dominant gets them more of what they want, sex. There is no oppressive ideology here. There is only a praxeology of how to fulfill a man's vision of his own masculinity.<br />
<br />
You see, while you celebrate the ending of gender roles, you fail to appreciate all of what that entails. Not only did it liberate women from the expectations of pursuing family instead of a career, it also liberated men from the social obligation of verbally pandering to an ideology in the hopes of social acceptance. Once you add the sexual element into the equation - and you cannot NOT add it in - and men start pursuing their issues and interests as THEY define them, then all ideology falls by the wayside. One thing we know about the Red Pill is that desire cannot be negotiated. Ignoring what men and women find arousing and/or attracting in favor of pursuing an abstract ideal and allowing that to determine your personal course is the road to folly, misery, and divorce.<br />
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We may deride the flood of bitterly-unhappy women who are discovering that their ideology, which promised that there would be a long line of decent dudes waiting around for them when they were done "exploring themselves", but that's because they are a product of their own self-inflicted ideology. We snicker at those women who discover, to their horror, that the intended future involving a good caring man and children (sometime after 35 and, say, 3 degrees) utterly fails to materialize, because she was more inclined to believe feminism's promise than the "patriarchal" system of assortative mating that insists you lock down a dude before you're 25 or get what's left over. <br />
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We snicker when we hear feminists and other women talk about "true equality", and then dismiss the fact that Selective Service registration is mandatory for one sex but not the other as "men's fault". We laugh when we hear about our "male privilege" and then read how yet-another friend blew his head off, or ended up on the street, or got assaulted by his girlfriend again but no one will take him seriously because he's a dude. Or a pal who hasn't seen his kids in 8 years because his wife thinks he's a danger to his children - and he's a Quaker. These men will never have "equality". They live in a system that lauds their "privilege" while demanding yet-more sacrifices of them, then subjects them to the emasculating humiliations and shame that feminism dumps on them for the crime of having a penis.<br />
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I understand your anger against feminism, and I share it. But you're right, we aren't approaching the matter from the same place. You are determined to fight for a world of equality. I understand, because of the nature of my gender, that <i>we will never truly achieve it. </i> I don't think that women will <i>allow</i> us to achieve it. If you truly understood what social and cultural responsibilities and expectations men are subjected to that women are not, you would not be so eager to press for "equality", for that is a dreadful burden that most women would reluctant to "share". <br />
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Feminism has denigrated and derided masculinity and male-ness for so long, no number of perky pop princesses lecturing us about it at the UN are going to change the fact that when our culture and civilization are in peril, it is men, not women, who are expected to give their lives, liberty, and property up for the common good. Men are expendable, and we know it. We're told that from the time we are boys. While feminists fret about "male privilidge", that priviledge includes baggage that most women just choose not to see. Yet it is a burden that must be borne, if by an ever-decreasing number of us.<br />
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You can thank feminism for that.<br />
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Sincerely,<br />
<br />
A man with plenty of useless degrees, twenty-five books, three kids, and a wife who understands and supports him because <i>he's a great man,</i> not because of the ideology of "equality".<br />
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Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com35tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-12370704244380265052014-09-10T11:12:00.001-04:002014-09-10T11:12:31.934-04:00Breaking Beta: Removing The TreeAs I deconstruct the process of De-Betacization, it occurs to me that, after dealing with and conquering your fear, one of the hardest elements of breaking Beta is <b>understanding your own power to affect change in your own life</b>. This one is subtle, fellas, so you might want to read with both hands for a minute.<br />
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One of the lessons I teach my religious students (disclaimer: no demons were consulted in the composition of this lesson - it's pure Earthly Wisdom, usable without risk of damnation by all denominations) is that one of the fundamental ways in which we can exercise personal power is by recognizing our role in the context of the universe, and then recognizing that the absolutely easiest way for them to change the universe at large is by <i>changing themselves and/or their context. </i><br />
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I illustrate this point with the exercise of having my students try to sink a basketball in the hoop with a tree in the way. (Thankfully, just about every home in the South, especially around Tobacco Road, comes equipped with a portable basketball goal of adjustable height, along with a couch for display on the porch of your choice)<br />
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Of course they try mightily to do so, at first, using bank shots off the trunk or hurling the ball into the canopy and hoping a Plinko-like descent manages to get it in the basket. I tell them to "move the tree with their minds" and they try their very hardest to literally do this for a while. It sinks in pretty quickly that magic doesn't work like on Harry Potter. It's a lot of fun to watch, and after a while they focus so much on the difficulty of the exercise they forget why they're doing it. Think about that.<br />
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At that point, I come back and demonstrate that <b>simply by taking two steps to the left or right, the seemingly insurmountable obstacle of the tree no longer obstructs at all</b>. They have "removed" the tree, for all practical purposes, by literally changing their perspective. Sinking a basket at that point is as easy as making a free-throw. Then I smugly tell them "the power was within you, all along!" in my best Glenda The Good Witch voice. It's highly annoying. One of the perqs of being a spiritual teacher.<br />
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The lesson, of course, is that by changing your own perspective you have, by definition, changed the nature and expression of the equation. Schrodinger's Cat and it's various kittens have demonstrated the observable truth that the observer by the act of observing affects the destiny of the observed -- <b>how much <i>more</i> does an <i>agent </i>in the equation affect the course of events? </b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUBzDp2Pl9wFJENlMEvuJXLEz3q_Optk-xisrJLFVxufI6qU7_aknHikjottBbkkCJ7IltYPRoRWD6jQLA5-H9tyB8-Lu8acxPgRnIgWR49nFUMeP4ZhvBM8JCH9jooP1biZIaRI6Sq1e4/s1600/6078060927_0cd6c3b738_m.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUBzDp2Pl9wFJENlMEvuJXLEz3q_Optk-xisrJLFVxufI6qU7_aknHikjottBbkkCJ7IltYPRoRWD6jQLA5-H9tyB8-Lu8acxPgRnIgWR49nFUMeP4ZhvBM8JCH9jooP1biZIaRI6Sq1e4/s1600/6078060927_0cd6c3b738_m.jpg" /></a>Too often, we forget that we have that power: the power to change our own perspective. Especially if we have suffered Betacization, we come to feel trapped by our circumstance or our nature, doomed to our fate with no hope of escape. And often that captivity must become unbearable before a Beta decides to cast aside his cherished rationalizations for his lackluster behavior and even <i>consider </i>making a change. Otherwise it's just too easy to play it safe, keep your mouth shut, and do what she tells you to do.<br />
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But you don't have to hit "rock bottom" to make this realization. Often you can do so just by <b>changing your perspective</b>. That could entail something as simple as an unexpected flirtation, a road trip, a meaningful artistic or literary experience, a chance meeting, an unlikely opportunity, a birth, a wedding, a death, a crisis situation, or any other sudden departure from the normal, expected, mundane course of your daily life. At some point,<b> in order to start Breaking your Beta, you have to gain the perspective that you have, indeed, the innate power <i>to</i> Break your Beta.</b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO7dhhpoMx5hTF4MKuOsaPncBTsqzSY9RtlUOyUflvc35x_qjLzFDjLqfq09De3JJqVOZ1pOklK4MMauno5q2E09Rss-llqkhchpVR4OhpnbXnazSSRxP2I5gO_7sbFCwYTt1fNoJXZx_2/s1600/images+(50).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO7dhhpoMx5hTF4MKuOsaPncBTsqzSY9RtlUOyUflvc35x_qjLzFDjLqfq09De3JJqVOZ1pOklK4MMauno5q2E09Rss-llqkhchpVR4OhpnbXnazSSRxP2I5gO_7sbFCwYTt1fNoJXZx_2/s1600/images+(50).jpg" /></a>From the Betacized perspective, <b>the fear of losing what you have outweighs the fear of losing what you might win. </b> You make a cost-benefit analysis and decide that it's just easier to maintain the <i>status quo</i>, and not take the risk. Plus, your fear has often convinced you that you are, indeed,<i> incapable </i>of being successful . . . often because you've been criticized and condemned for your perceived failures in life so much and so often that you've accepted the opinions of others over your own honest self-assessment. <br />
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Maybe it was your mother who started it, comparing you to a weak or absent father. Maybe it was a shrewish girlfriend who started it, and you never quite recovered. <b>But we rarely self-betacize.</b><br />
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In my religious tradition, one of the spiritual technologies we use is ritual. I'm not talking about the wand-waving-candle-burning-dancing-around-a-bonfire kind of ritual (although, honestly, as religious services go it beats the heck out of Sunday School), I'm speaking here of ritual in the <i>psychological</i> sense. From a technical perspective, when properly performed, <b>a rite or ritual will affect a psychological change on the subject by creating an <i>artificial psychological crisis</i> in a safe and controlled environment. </b><br />
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While such a crisis is ideally guided and led by someone experienced with such things, i.e. their priest/shaman/psychologist/druid/pastor/preacher/guru/celebrity, the fundamental element is <b>giving the subject the opportunity to voluntarily change their perspective when faced with such a crisis as a means of coping with that crisis. </b> Sure, it's the "throw 'em in and see if they swim" method of psychological care, but it has the twin virtues of being highly effective and cheaper than extended psychotherapy.<br />
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Now, I'm not suggesting you ladies burn down your house to see how hubby Alpha's Up - that's not <br />
the sort of "crisis" we're talking about. While tornadoes and tragedy can certainly provide the needed kick in the ass for the change of perspective in a man, more often than not Fate will kick a few helpful crises in his direction to provide the impetus. <br />
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For example, a friend of mine -- a howling Progressive, hyper-liberal scholarly hippy -- was biking home from his low-paying job at a book store one day when he got mugged. It was a simple exchange: gun, wallet, and gone. While unusual, such things are not unheard of in my gritty burg. But the effect this brush with mortality had on my friend was profound. <br />
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Understanding for the first time that another human being had the <i>power of life or death</i> over him, regardless of the Law or Rights or Community Spirit, and he was <i>utterly helpless</i> in the face of that, was enough change in perspective to institute a massive personal lifestyle shift, with accompanying shift in attitude and direction. He's a lawyer, now. And while I wish that story could have ended more happily, it points out that <b>one little existential or moral crisis can be enough, if a man is ripe, to begin the process.</b><br />
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And a<i> process</i> it is. You cannot merely flip a switch (in most cases) and see the Alpha emerge, fully-formed. Betas are broken, remember; the crisis experience <i>begins</i> the healing process, but it's a long and difficult journey. Painful. <i>Unpleasant. </i> <b>Permanent.</b> If you don't keep your eyes on the prize - becoming a Better Man - then it's all too easy to backslide into comfortable mediocrity, once-a-month IV drip sex, and never making plans for yourself because they might conflict with your wife's calendar. <b>Changing your perspective can remove the tree from the process . . . <i>but you still gotta sink that free throw.</i></b><br />
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Being faced with death can do it. Being faced with birth can do it. Even something as simple as looking at old photos can trigger it. <b>A man has to see himself, and then see himself differently, and then be able to compare the two to be able to challenge his thick Beta coating. </b> He has to be able to envision a better life, a better man to be, a future in which happiness is possible and regret isn't a daily indulgence, or he can never get out of the dungeon he's put himself in.<br />
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Some people think the essence of Breaking Beta is challenging the role of your wife . . . and it's not. If you're in a Blue Pill marriage, then your wife's power over you is not actually a result of her natural domineering nature . . . <b>it's a result of <i>your </i>failure to assert yourself properly, because of your fear.</b> Challenging your wife's role becomes a by-product of the transformative experience of changing <i>your </i>perspective, because once you get that damn tree (your own tepid rationalizations for your crappy masculinity) out of the way, it might take you a couple of shots - but eventually that's a basket you can make.<br />
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Some things to consider, Gentlemen, that might help you find the courage to do this:<br />
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1. <b>Yeah, it really <i>is</i> your fault</b> . . . because if it <i>isn't</i> your fault, then <i>you can't change it. </i> You CAN change it, so suck it up and <i>own</i> it. That's a sign of <b>mature masculinity</b>, not a capitulation to guilt.<br />
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2. As bad as you think your relationship with your wife/woman might be right now (if you have one), <b>the fear that they will somehow become <i>worse</i> if you challenge her dominance in the relationship is <i>wrong</i>. </b> They might get real interesting for a while, but usually you'll see a change in HER perspective in reaction to your change in perspective pretty darn quick. Don't believe me? Check out the Field Reports at the <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/search?q=flair:%27fr%27&restrict_sr=on;sort=new" target="_blank">r/theredpill</a> and <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/search?q=FR&restrict_sr=on&sort=relevance&t=all" target="_blank">r/RedPillWomen</a> subreddits for testimonials. It's like they're . . . <i>responsive</i> or something. Remember, you can realistically challenge her position <b>if you are in a place of strength.</b><br />
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3. <b>What she <i>says </i>doesn't matter one tenth as much as what she <i>does</i>. </b> Basic Red Pill truth. Engrave it on your XY chromosome where you won't forget it. <b>Let her say whatever she wants.</b> Just do what you have to do to make yourself right, and she'll either deal with it, or she won't. That's known as Holding Frame. Also known as Not Being A Pussy. This takes practice, but it's an essential part of your recovery. She <i>will </i>respond by her actions. And if she doesn't . . . you can find one that will.<br />
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4. <b>Lose the baggage.</b> If you <i>don't </i>currently have a woman and are the "victim" of a past <i>actually ahead of the curve</i>. You don't have a real woman to contend with, which means that all of your issues are the Ghosts of Relationships Past. <b>You aren't the same person you were then, you're </b><b><i>the person you </i>choose<i> to be now. </i></b><i> </i>If this describes you, then a) forget every past girlfriend and her expectations and shrewish criticisms you ever had because, like, she was a real bitch anyway and b) realize that <i>you won't put up with that shit from your next girlfriend.</i><br />
Betacization, then you are <br />
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5. <b>Evaluate your relationship with your mother. </b> Often if a betacized male has been beaten into submission by a girlfriend or wife, his mom spent years making him vulnerable to that . . . and his dad wasn't able to instruct him how to avoid it. <b> If your mother still has more of a presence in your life than she should -- even psychologically -- then challenging that relationship is going to be essential to progress.</b> I've seen men who appear to be solid Alphas collapse like little girls when their Mama starts yelling. If you can't respectfully stand up to your mother and keep her from exercise undue influence over your life, then it's going to be orders of magnitude harder to stand up to your girlfriend or wife. <br />
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(Note that you don't actually have to get into a <i>fight</i> with Mom, you just have to realize that you're a grown man and while you might appreciate her advice, she is <i>not</i> the infallible Mother Goddess she was to you when you were six. She might have been an expert on potty training and table manners, but when it comes to being a man, expressing your masculinity, and living as a mature adult male, she knows jack shit about how to cultivate that. Love her for her unconditional love and flawless Tollhouse cookies, but<b> ignore her bitching, complaints, and criticisms</b>. Hell, if you don't have a girlfriend at the moment, you can even Game your <i>mom</i>, in a non-sexual way. It's <i>great </i>practice.)<br />
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6. <b>Come to terms with your own mortality.</b> Yes, <b>you're going to die. </b> That's inevitable. Life is funny that way -- <i>no one gets out alive</i>. One of the most fundamental signs of a mature masculinity is the ability to accept your mortality, and live your life anyway. If you haven't really thought about death because it's creepy and scary and you're not that old yet . . . then you have some catching up to do. If you have kids, this will take you down one psychological road. If you don't, and don't want to, then that takes you down another. And if you don't, but do want to, then that in and of itself may give you the perspective you need to change your perspective and therefore your life.<br />
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7. <b>Quit worrying what other people think.</b> Seriously. If you only value the opinions of the people who value <i>your</i> opinion, that simplifies your perspective <i>dramatically.</i> The fear of mis-perception (or worse, <i>accurate</i> perception) is almost always far, far more potent an agent in your life than the <i>actual </i>condemnation you might ever get. My brother, Andy Ironwood, came to terms with this by being scrupulously honest. By being utterly truthful, he never fears other's perceptions of his behavior, because he feels capable of defending his actions before the throne of any convenient divinity . . . because he doesn't try to lie or rationalize his way through life. (BTW, he's decided he's going to put himself back on the SMP. Fair warning).<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVkPGK7J5yHQo63F5Kc7cmgM37WDIpCLo1a52-hiH4_4v_sA0ffsh49BljFXQM7OqoRXb4_AVeUr5ekNXKrLoSE5rcAAXn8vlz1Hxd858T2TivXHtTCwjCz6EwXJHASOCyOnYTxjlFl8c6/s1600/AlParker14.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVkPGK7J5yHQo63F5Kc7cmgM37WDIpCLo1a52-hiH4_4v_sA0ffsh49BljFXQM7OqoRXb4_AVeUr5ekNXKrLoSE5rcAAXn8vlz1Hxd858T2TivXHtTCwjCz6EwXJHASOCyOnYTxjlFl8c6/s1600/AlParker14.jpg" height="320" width="246" /></a>We worry about what other people think because we are fearful of their judgement, and worried that they will reject us. Often the people we fear this from the most are the people least entitled to render judgement on our lives, or be in a position to meaningfully reject us. <b>By understanding that the power of their judgement and rejection is limited to that which we, ourselves, choose to grant them, we can take that power back from them by ignoring even the possibility that their judgement or rejection is important to us.</b> That can be a hard perspective to change, but it's one of the most profound you can make.<br />
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8. <b>Change Who You <i>Present</i> As.</b> This is a biggie, and a hard, hard thing for most Betas to contend with. Betas have been trained to play it safe. The thought of going all ALPHA all of a sudden is just too shocking, and they fret that other people will judge them (see: 7, above). But one of the basic ways in which we can affect our own perspective is <b>by making a visible or nominal change and demanding it be accepted by the rest of the universe.</b><br />
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I've got two examples of this. In college, one of my bosses at my work-study assignment had signature muttonchop sideburns which he'd had since <i>he</i> was in college . . . back in the 70s when they were <i>cool.</i> Now, this dude had always been a "Super Nice Guy", everyone loved him at work, but he was constantly having problems at home, it was rumored. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCBwBzeUcm42fi6UYFYVRU0ZI9aDApWu0USaE-2a63TeUsV0eSD2Ca4sWcYT0x1YGg4bms0HPlCIeSFvl0I21GVKArw5OMSELQ7WCEWGN9SBfBLIqzPkTz8K-8i5NSm3zuVoIwYWn2E7lh/s1600/tumblr_mb0y9veIEq1r9qhhio1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCBwBzeUcm42fi6UYFYVRU0ZI9aDApWu0USaE-2a63TeUsV0eSD2Ca4sWcYT0x1YGg4bms0HPlCIeSFvl0I21GVKArw5OMSELQ7WCEWGN9SBfBLIqzPkTz8K-8i5NSm3zuVoIwYWn2E7lh/s1600/tumblr_mb0y9veIEq1r9qhhio1_500.jpg" height="320" width="137" /></a>Then one day he showed up to work for the first time in 20 years with his cheeks shaved. The signature muttonchops were gone. I passed him in the hallway without recognizing him, at first, and when I asked we talked about personal transformation and human fulfillment and such (Religious Studies major, so I was professionally intrigued) but the upshot was, he'd realized that his sideburns had become a symbol of the preconceptions and history he had bound himself with from his youth. By getting rid of them,<b> he was symbolically walking away from all of those years of folly. </b><br />
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(After that, interestingly enough, all the ladies who worked with him and thought he was such a "Nice Guy" started talking about the disturbing change, and how he just wasn't the same "Nice Guy" anymore. The dudes he worked with thought he got a LOT cooler, once he shut up about the Human Potential Movement. Yeah. It was like that.)<br />
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The second example is a kind of Uber-BETA I knew at one of my many, many temp jobs. Also in middle-management, this guy, Bob, was the typical White Knight Gamma who spent most of his time doing other people's work . . . <b>and he just could not say no to a woman to save his life.</b> But he was a "super nice guy" that none of the office women were willing to date. "Get Bob to do it" was office shorthand. He had the Gamma Curse <b><i>bad.</i></b><br />
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Then (and I honestly don't know <i>what </i>inspired it) Bob came to work and started to stiffly correct anyone who called him "Bob" anymore, asking instead to be addressed as "Robert." He started signing himself that way on his correspondence, had his nameplate on his cube changed, and sharply corrected anyone who slipped. If they slipped more than once in a conversation, Robert would have a brief, intense conversation about how he preferred to be addressed that left most of the recipients uncomfortable.<br />
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That freaked out several of the women in the office, including his supervisor, but after a consultation with HR she was forced to concede that Bob could, indeed, choose the name by which he was addressed and they had to go along with it. Some women actually complained that they didn't feel right calling Good Ol' Bob "Robert" because (and I quote) <i>"it's like treating him like a grown-up or something". </i><br />
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It was a very, very small change. But it led to others. Over the next eight weeks or so, Robert lost weight, started working out, grew a beard (which further freaked out the office ladies - one almost demanded he shave it because it <i>"made him look sinister"</i>) and quit being asked to do other people's work . . . and when he was, he politely declined. <br />
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What I was witnessing, had I known it, was Bob de-betacizing, or at least beginning the process. I was only at the job for about eight weeks, so I don't know how it turned out, but five weeks into his journey the visible change in Bob - Robert - was startling. The social change was just as pronounced. The many, many women in the office started complaining that they missed "the old Bob", and how Robert just wasn't nearly as nice. Some even had the nerve to ask him why he had "stopped being nice". He held frame and didn't give them any answers. There were even murmurings about talking to HR about Robert again, since some women in the office felt that his changes were bad for morale.<br />
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Nothing came of it, to my knowledge, but there was something intermingled with that sudden distrust, suspicion, and anxiety about Beta Bob's transformation toward Alpha Robert: respect. Once Robert quit agreeing to take on extra work and responsibilities out of a misplaced desire to be "a nice guy", they may have missed Bob's utility but they respected Robert's new boundaries, after he established them.<br />
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And it all started because he told a room full of Chatty Cathys <b>"My name is Robert, not Bob. Please refer to me that way in the future"</b> one rainy Tuesday morning. Not quite "Get your hands off of me, you damn dirty ape!" but as far as betacized Gammas go, it was about as close as you can get.<br />
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Changing your perspective is one of the first invaluable steps on the road from betacization to realizing your full masculine potential. Figuring out which tree is in the way of your goal is the first step. Figuring out which way to step around it is the second. And sinking the shot is the third. But you have to start by making a gentleman's agreement with yourself about rationalizing in favor of your Beta and taking that first, significant step . . . around the goddamn tree.<br />
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Red Pill men, what was your "Alpha Moment"? What did you do that changed your perspective and began your journey?<br />
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<br />Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-53567791466790498592014-09-04T11:56:00.000-04:002014-09-04T11:56:24.140-04:00Girl Game: Encouraging Your Captain To LeadI love visiting the <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/new/" target="_blank">Red Pill Women reddit</a> (and the venerable <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/new/" target="_blank">Red Pill reddit</a>) to wallow in the trenches, so to speak, and see what the biggest concerns various folks have might be. In RPW there were so many posts concerning how a wife could coax a husband to break his Beta and be more Captainy that <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/2fazs2/moratorium_on_how_can_i_get_my_man_to_posts/" target="_blank">they declared a moratorium</a> on that type of question. Fair enough - that's not the venue for that. <br />
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This is.<br />
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I’ve been asked the question “what can I do to encourage my man to be more dominant/Alpha/Red Pill?” repeatedly over the years. That’s a serious question, because (thanks to Solomon’s Dilemma) coming out and demanding dominance from their dudes just isn't going to work for either party. <br />
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But ladies, you aren't without influence over the man in your life. Just going utterly passive is NOT the answer – it communicates your helplessness, not his ability to lead. So I turned to my resident expert this morning (Mrs. Ironwood) and asked <i>her</i> to lay out what she did, back in my Blue Pill days, when a rousing chorus of <i>“I dunno – whatever you wanna do”</i> was <i>far</i> too frequently heard around our digs. <br />
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If you want your man to lead you, says Mrs. Ironwood, you have to encourage him thusly:<br />
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<b>1.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Establish expectations:</b> <b><i>“I want to know what you want for dinner tonight.” </i></b><br />
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Not “<i>what shall we have?”</i> Not <i>“what do you feel like?”</i> <b>Tell him you want<i> him </i>to decide.</b> By establishing your <i>reasonable expectations</i> for his leadership by directly or tacitly communicating an expectation of leadership, you give him the permission he needs to be decisive without worrying about encountering an argument about his decision.<br />
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If you make being decisive unequivocally HIS responsibility, he will eventually do it right. But if he doesn't know that you <i>expect</i> him to lead, he will be more likely to defer honest leadership in the interests of "equality" or respect for your autonomy.<br />
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<b>2.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Communicate by GIVING HIM CONTROL of the situation in no uncertain terms. </b><br />
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Men act tentatively when they are uncertain of themselves. <b>Once you’ve established the expectation of his leadership, make certain that he understands that <i>there are no wrong answers</i>. </b> You have abdicated any responsibility for the decision-making process and you will be content and supportive of his leadership regardless of the results. If he asks what <i>you </i>want to do, volley back. Anything from <i>“I have every confidence in your ability to decide”</i> to <i>"I trust your judgment" </i>to <i>“You got this, babe.” </i><br />
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<b>3.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>BACK THE FUCK OFF. </b><br />
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Once you have ceded control of an issue, <b>do not be tempted to revisit it to check his “progress”.</b> Do not offer “helpful suggestions”. Do not inform him that he’s “doing it wrong”. Once you have told a man that he’s responsible for making a decision, doing a task, planning a policy, or what have you . . . <b><i>don’t try to take the wheel out of his hands. </i></b>If you were smart, you included a deadline in your original establishment of expectations. If his performance is lacking, you can observe that without interfering and perhaps even offer support to the process without making yourself involved in it. This is sometime known as the "make sammiches" phase. Sometimes the most effective thing a woman can do with her man is to back off and let him figure it out on his own. <br />
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And <a href="http://theredpillroom.blogspot.com/2013/05/red-pill-marriage-when-make-me-sammich.html" target="_blank">sammiches are <i>always</i> a boost to morale</a>.<br />
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<b>4.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Avoid criticism after the fact.</b><br />
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This can be very hard for some women, so be mindful of your own tendencies to second-guess or criticize a man’s performance after he’s made a good-faith effort, and <i>keep your criticisms to yourself. </i> He is not your employee or your child, remember, <b>he is your husband.</b> Give him an adult level of understanding about his performance. And if it needs improvement, which it undoubtedly will, <b>provide the assistance he needs to improve without being tempted to direct the course of that improvement.</b><br />
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Keep in mind that the process of encouraging him to take initiative is a slow one. He has, in all likelihood, been steeped in a culture in which his initiative and decisiveness have been penalized, and it takes a while for a man to re-learn that confidence. If he fucks up any particular thing, don’t harp on it; he knows he fucked up. If you can gently encourage him to do a <i>post mortem</i> of his fuck-up, you might be able to suggest some ideas for doing things differently,<b> but DO NOT re-assume control.</b> Failure is part of the process. It is from our failures that we learn. <b>When men fear failure more than they desire success, they stop trying.</b> Your job, as his First Officer, is to ensure that his failures are not so painful, so distracting that he fails to learn and withdraws from his own ambitions. You encourage him to always be trying, because the sweet reward of success is far greater than than the thoughtful balm of comfort in defeat.<br />
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It’s a hard job, I’ll be the first to admit. Particularly as women have been encouraged to “speak their mind” and “communicate” exhaustively for the last forty years. It defies your training to withhold criticism and offer suggestions – that’s what you would do for a good girlfriend if she failed at something, correct? <b>But not with your husband.</b> He doesn’t need your advice.<br />
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He needs your <a href="http://theredpillroom.blogspot.com/2012/10/and-now-brief-public-service.html" target="_blank">Caritas</a>. <b><i>Desperately.</i></b><br />
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<b>5.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Reward and Support</b><br />
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Victories should be celebrated and generously rewarded. Defeats and failures should not be rehashed and examined to the point of humiliation. If you have a job as his First Officer in relation to your husband’s happiness, it is <b>to bolster his emotional support at such a time</b>. If he wants your specific advice (and he may) he will solicit it. If he has had success in leading and accomplishing, then<b> rewarding that achievement improves his perspective tremendously.</b> If he fails, knowing that you still have his back, uncritically, is more important than the fact that you know EXACTLY where he went wrong. <br />
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Encouraging your husband to lead without taking the wheel yourself can be frustrating, but ultimately highly rewarding. Sometimes the most frustrating moments end up being the most instructive. Sometimes the worst fuck-ups end up being turning points toward a better man. But you can’t FORCE him to lead, and you can’t DEMAND he lead. Quiet, thoughtful encouragement, strong loving support, creating the space and giving the permission, and enthusiastic follow-through give him the ingredients he need from you to be the kind of Captain he’d like to be. Hopefully one that you want to follow.<br />
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Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com38tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-81721914723817209832014-08-21T10:42:00.001-04:002014-08-21T10:42:55.603-04:00Class of 2018 Challenge: Building The FrameWhile some of you are, indeed, taking the AFC Spreadsheet Challenge, one of my readers pointed out that we're missing an opportunity to instruct the rising class of freshmen college men in a prophylactic dose of the Red Pill. These poor bastards are about to walk into a tempest of dangerous collegiate pussy, dark times and potentially disastrous choices. My own nephew, Cal, is headed off to a party school for his freshman year this fall, and I've done my best to inoculate him to the dangers of college-level pussy. If you want to see a run-down of what I covered, most of it is in the Red Pill for Boys section at the top of the page. Basic stuff.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Of particular mention should be the issues of Hypergamy, the Fungability of Women, Maintaining Frame, Male Dominance in Sexuality, Alpha Fux/Beta Bux, Don't Stick It Into The Crazy, Female Sexual Psychology, the Rationalization Hamster, and Covering Your Ass. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Recommended reading would include everything from Rollo Tomassi's The Rational Male, to Roosh V's library, to Athol Kay's Married Man Sex Life Primer (best intro to Red Pill and Game I've run across) to Bachelor Pad Economics by Captain Capitalism to . . . well, if you're at all familiar with the Red Pill and the Manosphere, you'll know where to point them. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
But guiding our young men through the minefield that is campus sexual politics is vital, particularly now. Campus feminism is a driving force in our cultural debate, and the young men at its mercy are particularly vulnerable to its savage nature. Giving them the armor to defend against it is our duty. Giving them the weapons to counter it is in our best interest. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
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<div>
Imagine, for a moment, what would happen if the men of the Class of 2018 made an unofficial pact not to have sex with feminists? That is, at the first whiff of feminist rhetoric, these young gentlemen make a point to "next" the confused young lady? And then spread the word about her? What happens when all of those young, horny college women who are so indignant about the terrors of male sexuality can't get laid on campus? When the first mention of "rape culture" or "misogyny" or "The Patriarchy" ends in an amused smirk and the dude walking away? What happens when men on campuses across the country start maintaining the frame that feminism is an unacceptable risk in a sexual relationship for a young man?</div>
<div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEunRn1JCHtQ81LfhepSIPu3xFuOyMMqG2iEbcyXU6B_MT3f7cWnj6UsccW2RmKShZiz2mub6BU-288N3CGLwwELyWK9GvtdCjO337ql9KmUJPQ5l_SzbYGrVlqT2GGbHGvssXMfAvLFdJ/s1600/5f2fffe3de32bda6279361e20010da11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEunRn1JCHtQ81LfhepSIPu3xFuOyMMqG2iEbcyXU6B_MT3f7cWnj6UsccW2RmKShZiz2mub6BU-288N3CGLwwELyWK9GvtdCjO337ql9KmUJPQ5l_SzbYGrVlqT2GGbHGvssXMfAvLFdJ/s1600/5f2fffe3de32bda6279361e20010da11.jpg" height="264" width="400" /></a></div>
<div>
If it becomes understood that feminism is a severe negative factor in a young woman's social life, that it is damaging to both her SMV and her MMV, then regardless of the screeching rhetoric,<b> the female imperative will override the ideology of feminism. </b> If you examine the social lives of young feminist women in college, once they get through their flirtation with lesbianism they stalk frat parties and off-campus keggers on the prowl for cute soccer players and tall Alpha upperclassmen with cool stories about Amsterdam before they go back to their dorms to call their orbitors and girlfriends. What if that stopped? Women make their sexual decisions <i>opportunistically</i>, and by denying young feminist women access to the carousel they've come to college to enjoy, or at least encouraging our young men to make mating decisions which do not reward a feminist mindset, the enthusiasm for such excesses will die down dramatically. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Sure, there will always be the progressive fringe element, strong, independent feminist women and their dickless Beta boy lackies. Hell, the Red Pill young men would be doing those chumps a favor by choosing not to favor their feminist overlords with the back room drunken Alpha Fucks they crave. They might actually have a shot in those desperate late hours when their female peers in equality come back from a cattle call rejected, dejected, and increasingly desperate. Even a broken clock is right twice a day.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
We need to teach these young men to maintain the Frame of Masculinity and hold to it steadfastly. The seductive nature of the campus environment allures them into tempest of hormones. Putting them on the path to manage their reproductive and mating strategies effectively, with the help of the Red Pill, could be a turning point.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So I challenge each of you who reads this blog to look out for the young men in their life. Queitly -<i> ever</i> so quietly - take them aside and explain that there's some . . . hidden knowledge that it is time they learned. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCSTiiNI4qcKYOV1hykiMmiXmFjmjK1MMCoMv5xIXLHR5sgztbdmMESy5PGX1iCG66rY4jH04Z8zaDnbZDNB7YmAry-1UoXdku9ooS5FS-Ydrc9GBtrp552KtF0dzvkfLlgEyVfnGCvGbM/s1600/a580138fe486816e916cd7a679a46fd7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCSTiiNI4qcKYOV1hykiMmiXmFjmjK1MMCoMv5xIXLHR5sgztbdmMESy5PGX1iCG66rY4jH04Z8zaDnbZDNB7YmAry-1UoXdku9ooS5FS-Ydrc9GBtrp552KtF0dzvkfLlgEyVfnGCvGbM/s1600/a580138fe486816e916cd7a679a46fd7.jpg" /></a>And that's a key point as well:<b><span style="color: red;"> the first rule of the Red Pill is that you don't talk about the Red Pill.</span></b> <i> Except in certain key situations.</i> This is one. <b>Make certain that they understand that rule. </b> The goal here is not to start a bunch of derpy campus organizations for men to counter the feminist inclination to do so, get their names in the news, and start a nasty op-ed war in the campus newspaper. The goal is not to organize our demands and insist that they be met. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The goal is much more insidious. Far more important than establishing equal access to tampons or whatever the gender war <i>du joure</i> may be, the goal of the Class of 2018 Challenge is to quietly inoculate as many young college-bound men from the allure of Blue Pill thinking, and transform them into an army of horny, Game-aware, self-confident young men who understand and appreciate the actual life choices they have in front of them. An army of Red Knights, secretly seducing their way into the student body until it's writhing in tingly ecstasy. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
That's the Masculine Frame we can build. Knowledge is power, and we have a shit-ton of it here. Impressing on them the need to cultivate strong male bonds, investing in their bodies and their educations, seeing themselves as strong, independent men in their own right, unbeholden to feminism, women or the feminine imperative. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So what Red Pill advice would you give an 18 year old college freshman today?</div>
Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com41tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-73470599936991066542014-08-01T12:46:00.003-04:002014-08-01T12:52:56.267-04:00Wife Test: Loyalty<div class="MsoNormal">
Today marks a special day for the Ironwoods. <b>Twenty-three years ago today, the future Mrs.
Ironwood and I were introduced to each other by a mutual friend.</b> It wasn’t a carefully-designed attempt to get
two like-minded people together. We were
both on the rebound from less-than-stellar long term relationships, and our
mutual friend was a bartender. She thought it was an exercise in simple rebound
expediency.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT5SjW9chCM7RzfdiK23pHQhhSUa6FBQHS9n26hnJ_dTtM4TZUDU62gOgtKstKkJyPY7AQ6t81d_6vDOrBsbabU0aVe2_BdAHE2dAPKZHskNA1GpabWytXmEl_Tl6ACgrj6YlnmBTuzv7q/s1600/6290040111_716c889872_o.jpg.scaled1000.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT5SjW9chCM7RzfdiK23pHQhhSUa6FBQHS9n26hnJ_dTtM4TZUDU62gOgtKstKkJyPY7AQ6t81d_6vDOrBsbabU0aVe2_BdAHE2dAPKZHskNA1GpabWytXmEl_Tl6ACgrj6YlnmBTuzv7q/s1600/6290040111_716c889872_o.jpg.scaled1000.jpg" height="320" width="239" /></a></div>
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The result was the present Ironwood family. <b>The result of a one-night-stand gone horribly
awry.</b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The reason why our twenty-third anniversary is so important
(to me) is because it also marks the point in my life in which Mrs. Ironwood
has been in it more than she has been out of it. As of this point, we have both spent the
numerical majority of our lives enjoying each others’ company. That’s a massive accomplishment in this day
and age, one that we are both appreciative of.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjztbFRRxY0gylJeYTff7EjPHjNNQT3M9cCBs737GHld8McNA8JBFPpnerUp7Ku3bipTBHd7gvofekq20Pm56KoniLtf1NePSet2Dssc6q3XFp9I77eozCTsdpXDybDJFlk5VYNsQOnbLcL/s1600/tumblr_m7972nu4EV1rs8fyyo1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjztbFRRxY0gylJeYTff7EjPHjNNQT3M9cCBs737GHld8McNA8JBFPpnerUp7Ku3bipTBHd7gvofekq20Pm56KoniLtf1NePSet2Dssc6q3XFp9I77eozCTsdpXDybDJFlk5VYNsQOnbLcL/s1600/tumblr_m7972nu4EV1rs8fyyo1_500.jpg" height="308" width="320" /></a></div>
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I rarely counsel a man to marry, in our present
circumstances. The odds are not in his favor,
and barring exceptional circumstances he risks far more than he gains out of
the transaction. The differences between
divorce, marital misery, and domestic contentment represent the difference
between failure and success, and most men marrying most women are throwing all
their chips on black and hoping for the best.
In most cases, the payout is a mediocre marriage to an ambivalent woman
undermined by the knowledge that she has clearly settled for her husband.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Every relationship is different. But the success or failure of a good one is
dependent not just on the level of commitment each party demonstrates, but on
whether or not they possess the skills needed to negotiate the minefield that
is marriage. “Husband” and “wife” are
not just commodities on the MMP, they’re learnable skills and cultivated
abilities. One fault of feminism is its
antipathy toward marriage as an institution and its disparaging of the
cultivation of those skills that inform a woman’s contribution to the
functioning of the marriage. </div>
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<br /></div>
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In pursuit of corporate achievement or “changing the world”,
the women of the last two generations have been woefully unprepared, practically,
for the realities of participating in a long-term, committed heterosexual
union. Indeed, any such suggestion –
that a woman spend her time and energy preparing for domestic life – has been
met with scorn and derision by the feminist community at large. “Wife” is a title of shame and capitulation
to feminism, regardless of what individual feminists may declare. Cultivating a skillset contributing to a
successful marriage is therefore ridiculed by the feminist establishment.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Meanwhile, husbands have gotten a hell of a lot better in
developing their skillsets. The man
entering marriage in 2014 (if you can find such a rare and special creature)
does so with a much greater depth of experience than his grandfather had. More than likely he’s mastered (or at least
been exposed to) the </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZrha0k8CuqcBvojjvDzkvtCDPYv4w9_TQb5ewnQMNmf_vDMgiw6nO8s0drXbk08biAMa2he77vgCM1z_p-1v1Je_iXSxSYKv6rtiKC056mosMFgwL8THXWn6niGJoNCnW7BP1KfaVlQWG/s1600/tumblr_lxsmj9Tnkh1qcz6gno1_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZrha0k8CuqcBvojjvDzkvtCDPYv4w9_TQb5ewnQMNmf_vDMgiw6nO8s0drXbk08biAMa2he77vgCM1z_p-1v1Je_iXSxSYKv6rtiKC056mosMFgwL8THXWn6niGJoNCnW7BP1KfaVlQWG/s1600/tumblr_lxsmj9Tnkh1qcz6gno1_1280.jpg" height="301" width="320" /></a></div>
domestic chores and childcare responsibilities that the
Second Wave feminists complained so bitterly about.<br />
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Modern husbands are more hands-on fathers
than their sires, more involved in the housekeeping duties and household
purchasing decisions, and more socially aware and better-informed than their
ancestors. Men who feel inclined toward
marriage and family early have little trouble learning the things they need to,
in order to be an effective husband and father.
While that desire is limited to a few, compared to generations past, the
men who wish to be good husbands go out of their way to ensure that they can
handle whatever might get thrown at their families. That dedication comes across early on, if you
know where to spot it. There’s a reason
that the “good ones” get snatched up early.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My continuing series on discerning the potential of a
high-quality wife, Wife Tests, wouldn’t be complete without exploring one of
the fundamental factors in the success or failure of a marriage:<b> loyalty</b>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I do not mean mere fidelity.
Simply not cheating on you is not the best metric for determining a
woman’s loyalty to you. Loyalty, in the
marital sense, means unwavering support for your spouse. That can be difficult, in the face of tough
times, and the weak-willed, poor-quality women will quickly start looking
around for a more-immediate better deal.
Thanks to feminism, marriage is no longer sufficient insulation from the
SMP, which makes it easy for a woman to entertain such ideas at the first hint
of trouble.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYKCxk7LPi5Pe1I2X6SKnDhi0ShNpyeI5ng0UDCQOPINAw5xl6vpU-kdC1qhibw-RsbFer7Qv90ep3IM1f-bwTvqdJbBKwQRF0IM9mcpHnIVRS3svg71m4srmBCrsrrFiTvP8V66WjLPeu/s1600/tumblr_lvavzb3IKM1qf6jy9o1_r1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYKCxk7LPi5Pe1I2X6SKnDhi0ShNpyeI5ng0UDCQOPINAw5xl6vpU-kdC1qhibw-RsbFer7Qv90ep3IM1f-bwTvqdJbBKwQRF0IM9mcpHnIVRS3svg71m4srmBCrsrrFiTvP8V66WjLPeu/s1600/tumblr_lvavzb3IKM1qf6jy9o1_r1_500.jpg" height="320" width="212" /></a>But you’re going to have trouble in a marriage. It’s inevitable. In the process of knitting together two
families and two family cultures, establishing proper boundaries and protocols,
there will be problems that will challenge the fortitude of any couple. Until you do, there’s no real way to assess
the strength of your union, sadly, and for some whose emotional constitutions
are brittle, it doesn’t take much to hit the <i>“this isn’t working</i>” button. More than one man has been shocked and
surprised to hear these words after even a moderate challenge to the marriage. Another failure of feminism to modern women:
the inflated and often unreasonable expectation of marriage. Marriage is hard work. If you care about it, you don’t take it pass/fail.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So how does one determine a woman’s loyalty to you before
you encounter that Big Event that’s going to give you problems? It’s difficult. I’d say a telling factor, however, is just
how loyal a woman appears to be to you in a casual circumstance. It’s hard to construct a situation that tests
that, you must rely on observation and pay attention to subtleties. With Mrs. Ironwood, I can pinpoint the exact
moment when she passed the Loyalty Test.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We had been going out for a little over a year when we had
the opportunity to go out with another couple, friends of mine from
college. Nothing fancy, just a sit-down
dinner in a chain restaurant with a bar.
Bob and Karen had been friends and neighbors of mine for a couple of
years during my undergraduate career. He
was a Religious Studies major at Duke, and she was studying Medieval and Renaissance
studies. At that point they were
engaged, with Bob having aspirations of a career in law. At that point, I saw them as the Perfect
Couple. </div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrEiru6-2KznauoO7sTJRViUHCX7j1DBlLAJegNlvNLOTn8YtYOLNojaIXi2NLaghU13JbdavsbcX7l9i36wdNDBZnTxngN_MsnthZjeiU_I8_LDwxDV7YYXR0FfAaM5XIy0S9Np95iOp9/s1600/8372815263_38dccb40d3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrEiru6-2KznauoO7sTJRViUHCX7j1DBlLAJegNlvNLOTn8YtYOLNojaIXi2NLaghU13JbdavsbcX7l9i36wdNDBZnTxngN_MsnthZjeiU_I8_LDwxDV7YYXR0FfAaM5XIy0S9Np95iOp9/s1600/8372815263_38dccb40d3.jpg" height="320" width="314" /></a></div>
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But when the subject of parenting and fatherhood came up,
Karen – who I’d been crushing heavily on since I’d known her, and who knew me
as a fairly hapless Beta – was surprised at the future Mrs. Ironwood’s </div>
willingness
to “let” me take charge of our future children, if any. At the time it appeared that she would be the
primary breadwinner – my writing career had taken off, but paying gigs were
still few and far between. Therefore our
plan was that I would be primary childcare, should we have kids. That early in our relationship we had already
begun seriously evaluating each other for suitability, and had discussed the
possibilities even if we hadn’t committed to them.<br />
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What? You’re
actually going to trust Ian with your babies?” Karen asked, aghast at the
suggestion. That was more than a little
insulting, on a personal level, but my attraction for her and my respect for
Bob had kept me firmly in Beta position.
I was about to joke my way out of it when the future Mrs. I leapt to my
defense.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBw_AH6mrSaj85zDy1g4LsWZhhLPjXqP4hPRkQERf4U0xP8meM5ekJJuEm7e-BhMtE2_BB7QNN_w-XSAwuWmmmhauld8rghyphenhyphenWvdiu3c9BvuXU9iS8Ut6GrAif1VYPgPRlvNv-gslr7wLdL/s1600/tumblr_m5jdhmnzX61r9qhhio1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBw_AH6mrSaj85zDy1g4LsWZhhLPjXqP4hPRkQERf4U0xP8meM5ekJJuEm7e-BhMtE2_BB7QNN_w-XSAwuWmmmhauld8rghyphenhyphenWvdiu3c9BvuXU9iS8Ut6GrAif1VYPgPRlvNv-gslr7wLdL/s1600/tumblr_m5jdhmnzX61r9qhhio1_500.jpg" height="306" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Are you kidding? Ian
will make an outstanding father! I’ve
never met a man better-prepared emotionally or practically for taking care of his
children. He’s responsible, intelligent,
and caring. Whether or not we’ll stay
together or have kids together remains to be seen, but I know for a fact that I
would not have any reservations about Ian raising our children!”</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bob quickly changed the subject away from the awkward
subject, and dinner continued.
Afterwards, as we were walking back to the car the future Mrs. I reiterated
just how upset she was at the suggestion that I was unfit to raise babies
with. It wasn’t just Karen challenging
her choice of boyfriend, a catty standard of the Female Social Network, that
she was responding to, I realized. She
was genuinely offended that anyone who claimed to be a close friend of mine
would make such a horrible (and to her mind unearned) </div>
pronouncement.<br />
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It wasn’t a big deal to either Karen or Mrs. Ironwood, but
it was to me. It was at that point that
I checked the “loyalty” box on the Wife Test.
When your wife defends your character to your closest friends, that’s a
pretty profound statement of her belief in you.
I watched more carefully after that, and I was gratified to see her
stick up for me in similar situations.
She knew enough not to get entangled with the rough teasing between my
brothers and I, but when she told my mother that she was wrong about my
inability to handle household finances, for instance, I knew I had a potential
keeper. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpXhqE86aK-G1A234nhJOpDSqoo8wNpfzhHx8fM4M0DaZ5Cbytx-OmvYp-BC8Q9En4szw-P0NhR9uanSNldehYceebANEsry5EAqMbiNfSJ_DXiWwtcphxtKflyMznEgVEDr3DJ3Igk-gO/s1600/14200477830_4d186fff10_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpXhqE86aK-G1A234nhJOpDSqoo8wNpfzhHx8fM4M0DaZ5Cbytx-OmvYp-BC8Q9En4szw-P0NhR9uanSNldehYceebANEsry5EAqMbiNfSJ_DXiWwtcphxtKflyMznEgVEDr3DJ3Igk-gO/s1600/14200477830_4d186fff10_o.jpg" height="315" width="320" /></a>While loyalty gets tested in the strangest of ways, but they
all revolve around a woman’s unprompted reaction to a perceived attack or
injustice on you. Ideally her response
should be independent of her interests, perhaps even against them, in some
circumstances. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you had to engineer a situation artificially to test her
loyalty, consider having one of your (good) friends speak poorly about you behind
your back but in her presence, and report what she says. If she
plays along with his downgraded assessment of you, you might have a
problem. If she sticks up for you, you’ve
got a loyal one. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But even that isn’t the
ideal test of her loyalty. Even better
if you can hear one of HER good friends launch a catty attack on you. If she can tell her BFF to shut the hell up
because she doesn’t know what she’s talking about, you’ve got a winner. The woman who will endure someone speaking
badly about her mate is one whose loyalty is questionable from the beginning.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqMmJwObdOh8y5KH4FBVIxHrPfpju9mFlu0bq_0AbNla-RKCmzaTSJY6Zkwn00xY0gFKr4t2rY3vgbm3E_MgZcEpMN5yZMI4ipN8-aoUTT_tiAUWULR3Nd5kxpkYoiQ9enYlezFq9tJxll/s1600/13594268934_d58b8f38e3_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqMmJwObdOh8y5KH4FBVIxHrPfpju9mFlu0bq_0AbNla-RKCmzaTSJY6Zkwn00xY0gFKr4t2rY3vgbm3E_MgZcEpMN5yZMI4ipN8-aoUTT_tiAUWULR3Nd5kxpkYoiQ9enYlezFq9tJxll/s1600/13594268934_d58b8f38e3_o.jpg" height="320" width="151" /></a>The true test, of course, will be when the world is falling
down around your ears; your very self-identity is challenged as your life is
wracked with the inevitability of misfortune.
A loyal wife will remember that<a href="http://theredpillroom.blogspot.com/2012/05/you-bet-on-horse-not-race.html" target="_blank"> she bet on the horse, not the race</a>, and
support you. If she’s skilled enough she
might even know how to do that. During a
true loyalty test, she has a clear choice of a life in support of you and a
life not in support of you, and she freely chooses the former not out of
obligation or a sense of duty but because she has genuine respect for you in
sufficient quantities to invoke her loyalty.</div>
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Twenty three years after she saw me reading a book in a bar
one night (<b><i>The Two Towers</i></b> – I’m a hobbit-head) Mrs. Ironwood is still fiercely
loyal of me, and I have taken great pains to vindicate her on the subject of
fatherhood and husbandry. But understand
that such loyalty is not monolithic. It’s
a laminate of countless small acts and quiet statements made in support and
appreciation over the years, an aggregate of pride and love stronger than the
petty forces of fate that conspire to tear it down. The end-result is a cultivated Oneitis,
wherein your mutual loyalty and support give you the personal security and
belief in your marriage you need to go out and slay dragons on a daily
basis. </div>
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Twenty-three years. It’s
not impossible to marry a Western woman and still have a fulfilling life as a
husband and father. But you have to
start with the right woman, carefully nurture the relationship, and avoid the
sinkholes that Marriae 2.0 inevitably throws at you, and disloyalty is
certainly a big one. But . . <i>. twenty three years</i>. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9F6ORUAS3s2JclMyNPzPYggdIxd6-aPwP_gOwVGdWC3oqiqkQfT6Bi-PxbmAPvXs3jM6M5oviMJYjvRURbk9AWKKte9Q38Y6lQwBI5r_l-dRnKq57FG3r_0sgR0q0hV_A7Fm0UUORscQW/s1600/tumblr_lzypvfUJ5G1r9qhhio1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9F6ORUAS3s2JclMyNPzPYggdIxd6-aPwP_gOwVGdWC3oqiqkQfT6Bi-PxbmAPvXs3jM6M5oviMJYjvRURbk9AWKKte9Q38Y6lQwBI5r_l-dRnKq57FG3r_0sgR0q0hV_A7Fm0UUORscQW/s1600/tumblr_lzypvfUJ5G1r9qhhio1_500.jpg" height="320" width="303" /></a></div>
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And from now on, she’ll be in my life more
than she’s been out of it. That,
gentlemen, is what happens when you’ve <i>properly</i> constructed Happily Ever After. </div>
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Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-70208922243080271702014-07-28T12:53:00.001-04:002014-07-29T12:44:49.218-04:00Dear Feminists: This Is Why You Are In Trouble<div class="MsoNormal">
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The ongoing kerfluffle over the site<a href="http://womenagainstfeminism.tumblr.com/" target="_blank"> #WomenAgainstFeminism</a>,
displaying selfies of a number of attractive young women who are all holding
placards declaring why they don’t need feminism, has gone beyond the usual
shame-and destroy tactics that the feminist establishment usually employ. Instead what has happened as these women
quietly but publicly disagreed with the <i>status quo</i> ideology and
dis-identified themselves as feminists is remarkable. Some have likened it to the feminist Berlin
Wall crumbling, or an anti-feminist Arab Spring. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3GXBNFF5K1lj2EThP5id0XX703xzoQZe3KE3D2L8gEw93pEI-qzcO7KQHlx3zDhlynGdzn1Nko5fYy8Z_CGJ5EX8-81SUdYRPe83xj27bsBRAmCEHx64EK0Nbu63zYC4-wgtIPSGRLLlf/s1600/tumblr_lxsm7i6JDc1qcz6gno1_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3GXBNFF5K1lj2EThP5id0XX703xzoQZe3KE3D2L8gEw93pEI-qzcO7KQHlx3zDhlynGdzn1Nko5fYy8Z_CGJ5EX8-81SUdYRPe83xj27bsBRAmCEHx64EK0Nbu63zYC4-wgtIPSGRLLlf/s1600/tumblr_lxsm7i6JDc1qcz6gno1_1280.jpg" height="320" width="242" /></a></div>
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It is telling that it took young women rebelling against
feminist ideology in a public sphere to get prominent (and obscure) feminists
all over the world to listen – if only for a moment – to the same things that
most folks in the Red Pill/MHRA/MGTOW/PUA/OMG community have been saying, some
of us for decades. But when opinions
that issue from the mouths of men are ignored or discounted simply because of
our gender, when feminism refuses to engage in any meaningful dialog with those
it purports to change, then its own unwillingness to participate in a debate it
claims to want demonstrates the disingenuous nature of your ideology.</div>
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The shock and disgust displayed toward these young women by
feminists is appalling. They are treated
as vapid and ignorant, young, dumb, and desperately seeking male attention by
those who would dismiss their well-articulated positions. <a href="http://vagendamagazine.com/2014/07/how-not-to-react-to-anti-feminist-women/" target="_blank">The irony of this escapes not even thefeminists, themselves.</a> Some are even <a href="http://neverdaunted.net/take-this-ethos-and-shove-it-caitlin-elam-explains-her-break-up-with-feminism/" target="_blank">leaving their association with feminism</a>.</div>
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But ladies, this is what the problem is. Let me mansplain something to you, because
you clearly missed something. I’ll go
ahead and do it in patronizing and patriarchal tones, so that you have an
opportunity to scoff derisively as you read it, desperate for a hint of
misogyny – us white male dissidents understand our role in your ideological
drama, and I would hate to disappoint. </div>
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Over and over in these face-palming critiques I keep reading
of your utter horror as you saw one young woman after another (apparently) mis-understand
what feminism “is about”, I hear you complain bitterly that these women are
getting it wrong. Feminism isn’t about
(insert tragic misdiagnosis here) it’s about <b><i><u>equality.</u></i></b> You quote the dictionary, chapter and verse,
you quote great feminist minds of the past, inspirational voices who led you to
realize what feminism “is about”.</div>
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Only, not everyone agrees with you. <a href="http://jezebel.com/things-i-learned-from-womenagainstfeminism-1609067794/+madeleine" target="_blank"> And that’s making you batshit crazy.</a></div>
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There’s an understandable amount of schadenfreude in the
Manosphere over this, but believe it or not, I’m not gloating. I’m just vindicated. Many of us predicted this sort of thing would
happen, and gosh darn if it didn’t.</div>
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You see, t<a href="http://wonkette.com/554841/meet-the-ladies-mens-rights-auxiliary" target="_blank">he thing that is driving you crazy</a> is that
feminism is an ideology, but it also functions, in many social ways, <a href="http://news.nationalpost.com/2014/07/25/not-all-feminists-how-modern-feminism-has-become-complicated-messy-personal-and-sometimes-alienating/" target="_blank">like a cult or religion.</a> And while your
intellectual inner circle has been preaching equality for years, regardless of
the strides or gains you may have made, the fact is that your ideology’s public
image has been tarnished badly in the meantime.
Not to put too fine a point on it, but you made the same mistake Republican
candidates traditionally make. In an
effort to appease the loudest voices, and maintain the appearance of unity, you
have allowed those voices to dictate the direction of the entire group – or at
least its perception by the public.</div>
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There’s a reason that only a small minority of women identify
as feminists these days. The ideology
has become so loaded with baggage from the culture wars of the past that
adherence to it involves picking up that baggage . . . and that’s something
that most women just don’t want to do.</div>
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Worse, two decades of systematic targeting of masculinity,
in all of its guises, has managed to alienate nearly all men from your
banner. There was a time, in my fuzzy
youth, when I may have identified myself as a “male feminist”, because I
believed in equality too . . . but I believed in full equality: draft cards,
equitable sentencing, and equal custody and all, and those were issues that
feminism, alas, did not see as germane.</div>
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They sure as hell were germane to me. And to a lot of other guys. </div>
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Over the years, individual feminists and feminist-oriented
groups made it quite clear that men were not welcome – we were part of the
problem, and the more we tried not to be, the more you lashed out at us as
individuals and as a class. Whether you
intended to or not, feminism as a movement became associated with the callous
disregard of masculine values and the blanket disrespect for male issues. You couldn't even let a bunch of guys get together and talk about male homelessness, suicide, and social issues without protesting and making death threats. Classy, feminism.</div>
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We were supportive, once upon a time. But what did we earn from that support? You called us part of the Patriarchy, taunted
us for our perceived privileges, and never spared the opportunity for shame and
guilt about our gender. We supported
your reproductive freedoms and your right to own your own bodies, and you
called us participants in “rape culture”.
When we threw up our hands and realized that there was no way for you to
be happy with us, you called us “misogynists”.
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So we left. There’s a
reason that “male feminists” of any note are as scarce as hen’s teeth any
more. No one wants to be a male
feminist. You savage them with
particular delight, when they persist in being male, and no man wants to be
seen publicly working against the best interest of his gender. Congratulations, ladies. You’ve made “male feminists” an endangered
species.</div>
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Like the Republicans, you’ve played to your base and
alienated the mainstream. People don’t associate
feminism with positive values, anymore, and it’s not just Red State hicks and Southern
politicians who feel that way. Feminism
was the ideology that spurred millions of women to divorce and break up their
families, and many of us carry the scars of that decision. Feminism made men fearful to even speak to
women, much less relate to them in a professional manner. While you may see the resulting domination of
women in corporate positions of power as gratifying, understand that it was
done at a price. </div>
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You may see feminism as responsible for great strides in
American and World history, and I can’t deny that. So was Marxism, the ideological model
feminism chose to co-opt – the one that equated men with the oppressing class
and validated some feminists’ need to hate men as a class. A lot of us take that personally. <b>Feminism’s unequal treatment of gender issues
across the board has grown so egregious that protecting the virtue of 200
little African girls results in a global awareness campaign, while the brutal
deaths of hundreds of boys in the same conflict earned no attention by
feminism.</b></div>
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You can claim that feminism isn’t about hating men and
punishing boys, Ladies, but the fact of the matter is that this is precisely
how feminism is viewed by a broad plurality – if not a majority – of the men in
America. Not the progressive pals you
keep around you to remind yourself you don’t technically hate all men, but the
dude who changed your oil, mowed your lawn, stocked your groceries and passed
you on the freeway, all of them have a disdain for feminism, as an ideology,
that they would likely never speak to you about. </div>
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You've attacked male sexuality with bloodthirsty abandon, belittling the "male gaze" and objecting to "objectification" - without understanding that objectification is as important to male sexuality as emotional context is to female sexuality. Your relentless fight against "rape culture" has put you at odds with every heterosexual man in the country, as you rampage for the right to only be approached by attractive men, and demonize unattractive men by their "misogyny". Feminism has been responsible for more male sexual guilt that the Catholic Church. But you don't know that, because we stopped talking to you a long time ago.</div>
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Because speaking to feminists about feminism when you
disagree with the culture that has sprung from the ideology is akin to speaking
to a cult member. Every stay-at-home mom
who decided to spend her best reproductive years making a home and building a
family with a loving husband has been called to task for her choice – “you
could be so much more”, “why are you letting him keep you isolated?”, “don’t
you want to prove you can make something of yourself?”, these are all the
catty, snide little ways feminists have promoted your ideology. </div>
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In seeking equal opportunities for women, feminism has
denigrated the role of wife and mother that so many women desire. Voicing a preference for Blue’s Clues over
Black’s Legal Dictionary gets a woman pilloried in our post-feminist society,
as you well know. By placing careerism over
the desire for a family, feminism has inadvertently doomed hundreds of thousands
of successful career women to childlessness, as the “good” men they plan on
settling for after they’ve established themselves in careers seek less-driven
mates to be the mothers of their children.
The frustration among the professional class of feminist is
palpable. Yet feminism teaches them that
it is men’s fault, or the fault of the Patriarchy, or ageism, or whatever
rationalization is in vogue at the moment.</div>
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Those rationalizations, as thousands of women are
discovering, don’t keep you warm at night.
</div>
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But not only has feminism alienated men of good will and
mothers, feminism has consistently besieged one of the most hallowed areas of
femininity: marriage.<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="_GoBack"></a>
In its efforts to protect women in abusive relationships, feminism has
waged an unrelenting war against one of the pillars of femininity. No, not all women want to get married – but for
those who do, and there are a lot of them, feminism has successfully weakened
the institution to the point where feminism has become the antithesis of a
happy marriage.</div>
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Just watch how apologetically a feminist announces her
engagement. I had that pleasure,
recently, and watching this woman squirm while she had to admit to her
equally-feminist friends that she wanted a husband – not that she needed a
husband, but (like a handbag or a new car) she wanted one – was an awkward
moment. Of course, she could not bring
herself to actually say the word, “husband” – she said “partner” – and she
instantly declared that she would not take his name. Go girl. I felt humiliated and emasculated on her bridegroom's behalf. </div>
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But while I quietly congratulated her on her marriage, the
fact is that feminism, regardless of its vaunted goal of equality, has consistently
tarnished and weakened an institution that a majority of women hold sacred . .
. and they have muddied the waters of non-feminist women considerably by their
approach. That hasn't garnered feminism any positive public relations.</div>
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Men are reluctant and fearful to marry now, thanks in part
to feminist-inspired pro-divorce culture, <i>ala</i> <b>Eat, Pray, Love.</b> Feminism’s successful war on the patriarchal
expectation of sex in marriage has removed the insulation married women once
had from the Sexual Marketplace, making their husbands prey to predatory women
and devaluing their own sexual contributions.
When feminism made it clear that a husband had no native right to his
wife’s body, it also undermined the marital exchange to the point where she can
no longer be certain of his fidelity.
<b>Feminism is synonymous with divorce, not happy wives, in the real world
beyond the ivory tower. </b></div>
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(It might be helpful if feminism stopped treating the term "wife" like a death sentence. Requiring a woman to apologize for her marriage and her husband, and then imposing a lot of humiliating restrictions that are going to be harmful to the marriage, doesn't win you many allies. Feminism has made it possible where a little girl can grow up and be a great feminist<i> anything </i>. . . except a good wife.)</div>
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Feminism did itself no favors by encouraging the sassy
self-esteem of two generations of girls. While claiming white men had unearned privilege, feminism pushed the unearned privilege of white girls to the breaking point. Many folks are anti-feminists not because they object to the ideals of
feminism, but because they object to the <i>conduct of feminists. </i> Young women who feel that they are entitled
to pretty much anything they want, who trade on their feminism with threats of
legal action or scandal to get their way, these women aren’t ‘empowered’ – they’re
‘bossy’. That would be one thing if they
were also highly competent and productive, but those are not qualities feminism
has emphasized in its application. </div>
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The writings of the Women Against Feminism are telling: to
them (and to the rest of us) feminism is a bunch of angry women screaming
shrilly about how the rest of the world needs to pay attention to them and give
them what they want, in a judgmental, demanding way. <b> The rest of us don’t dislike feminism because
we hate equality, we dislike feminism because for many of us some of the most
unpleasant and difficult-to-work-with people we know are feminists. </b></div>
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We see them not just as unhappy people, but people who have
invested in their unhappiness to the point where they will only be happy when
the rest of the world is <i>just as unhappy as they are</i>. You want to see feminism perceived in a
positive light again? <b>Create a way for a
woman to be a happy feminist.</b> That’s
going to be difficult with an ideology that, practically speaking, sees half of
the human race as an enemy, but give it a shot.
Y’all are creative. </div>
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Start by trying not to insult and demean anyone whose opinion
you don’t like. Feminism loves to call
people names, from ignorant to backwards to stupid – and feminists excel at
invective. Tearing someone down verbally
is a high feminist art, and most of us have been the object of that scorn at
one time or another, deserved or not.
When you cannot have a discussion with a feminist without her snorting
about your perceived privilege, or having her try to shame you into working
against your best interest, then engaging in any kind of productive dialog is
challenging. And demanding. And usually self-defeating. </div>
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So mostly we just . . . don't. We ignore you. We turn our backs on you and mostly we just don't entertain a feminist perspective in any sort of positive way anymore. </div>
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As a man I have been called a plethora of vile names and had
my character attacked by feminists, even what were supposed to be reasonable,
academic discussions. Feminists have a
kind of argument cycle that they go through, I’ve observed, in which my
intelligence, education, upbringing, and decency are first brought into
question before they launch into outright misandry and emasculation. At least half of such discussions end with
them questioning my manhood – when I know for a fact how they would have
reacted had I questioned their womanhood. </div>
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I’m a big boy. I’m not intimidated
by shrill women who think their ability to “be strong” and “compete” lies in
their willingness to insult another human being. They have said things to me that, had we truly lived in world of equality, would have required them to settle the matter through seconds and over pistols. But because feminists tend to hide behind "don't hit me, I'm a girl!" when they decide to engage in such verbal bloodsports, most wise men just . . . walk away. <b>We're men. We know feminism hates us.</b></div>
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But the things that you’ve called these Women Against
Feminism have been nothing short of vile.
This is what you have to say about these beautiful, intelligent women
who disagree with your political ideology.
Women with three advanced science degrees are called “stupid and
uneducated” because they dare to disagree with feminist ideology. Women who have made conscientious choices about their lives are being castigated and threatened. Women who have made up their own damned minds are being called idiots by other women in a fit of misogyny the Manosphere could never muster.</div>
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It is in your reaction to #WomenAgainstFeminism that you reveal yourselves, collectively: Feminism has hit the Wall. No one is responding to your "nice" voice anymore, because you've burned all your bridges. Now your very daughters are rejecting your ideology and recoiling in horror from the idea of a "feminist" life. Yes, feminism is associated with misandry and reactionary man-hating, female entitlement and anti-male ideology in the minds of most people. </div>
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EDIT: A few choice comments:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18.225000381469727px;">Emily Shire of </span><em style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18.225000381469727px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">The Daily Beast</em><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18.225000381469727px;">, stating that the movement’s criticism of feminism is “inane, unintelligent, and useless.”</span></blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18.225000381469727px;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18.225000381469727px;">Feminist writer Rebecca Brink </span>published<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18.225000381469727px;"> a satire of the campaign on her blog, calling Women Against Feminism “a crock of bullshit based on a misunderstanding of feminism and an ignorance of data and history.”</span></blockquote>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18.225000381469727px;"><br /></span>
<br />
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But like the 35 year old woman who is still trying to rock a miniskirt, you still think feminism is about equality. No, it is not about equality, and hasn't been for a long time. What you think feminism is and what it does in the real world are two entirely separate things, and your association with an ideology that is, in effect, anti-male, anti-marriage, and anti-freedom of thought is not doing yourselves any good.</div>
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There's some hope that feminism will redeem itself - plenty of women are offended at the things being done in the name of their gender, and want to re-claim the now-poisoned title of feminist. But until feminists collectively take a good, long, hard look into the mirror and hold themselves accountable for the sins of their sisters in the name of their ideology, don't count on a hell of a lot of support from the victims of feminism. We're not inclined to be charitable about that sort of thing.</div>
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Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com209tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-70816748115537704522014-07-25T10:40:00.000-04:002014-07-25T10:40:46.383-04:00The AFC Spreadsheet Challenge: Run Your NumbersI'm not piling on the criticism of the Spreadsheet Man, considering the amount of public abuse his passive-aggressive behavior earned him. The issue isn't the spreadsheet - the spreadsheet was a <i>good</i> idea - the issue was one of how to<i> use</i> this tool. Unfortunately, the Game-ignorant, Blue Pill Average Fucking Chump (AFC) husband has no idea how to take this very valuable data and leverage it into a more fulfilling sex life.<br />
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There comes a point in every married man's life when his unofficial numbers drop below the threshold he can comfortably stand. Sex is an incentive reward system, and when his rewards drop so do his incentives. Spreadsheet Man was batting a dismal 11%. That is, for every hundred dedicated attempts at initiating sex with his wife, he successfully had sex just 11% of the time. That's just shy of the Numbers Game ploy that novices at Game employ, before they have any social skills or practical knowledge of approach. A man in 11% territory has every right to be alarmed at the state and direction of his marriage.<br />
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Most of the ire directed at Spreadsheet Man from the Manosphere has focused on the poor Gamesmanship he displayed, or - in the case of a few hopeless romantics - the temerity to consign something as sacred as marital relations to the cold, hard medium of Excel. But if a man is to complain about something as serious as his sex life to his wife, he had better have objective data to give him some context. Not that he could or should use the spreadsheet to try to bargain his way back into her panties - as Rollo has brilliantly demonstrated in his analysis of this case study in AFC sexual management, "you cannot negotiate attraction." That's a mistake a lot of poor AFC Beta husbands make: thinking that he can use logic and reason to break the dismal numbers he's getting.<br />
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Let's set aside for a moment the issue of his use of this tool, this spreadsheet, and investigate instead just what would compel a man to create one. That's the question I keep hearing women ask about the subject: "Why on earth would a man do something like that?"<br />
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Accountability. The short answer is that he created one because there was a stunning enough lack in his marital sex life that he felt compelled to measure the subject. When his wife responds to his complaints with the inevitable "But we have plenty of sex - I don't reject you!" in order to salvage her bruised ego, Spreadsheet Man wanted to know if that was a factual statement or not. You don't go shopping when there are plenty of groceries in the cupboard. When the cupboard is bare enough, you suddenly need to take stock to see just how dire things actually are.<br />
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Let me break it down for you.<br />
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Most women use a variety of subjective measurements to determine their level of satisfaction with a relationship, a position that can wax and wane with the lunar tides sometimes. Men, on the other hand, use the frequency and variety of sexual relations in their relationship as a rough metric for their satisfaction with it. Simple of us, I know, but that's just how we are. For most of us, if we're getting it good and regular, and with sufficient enthusiasm and imagination, then we can put up with anything form mothers-in-law to zombie apocalypse. But if the nookie dries up, it doesn't matter how well everything else is going in the marriage, there's a <i>problem.</i><br />
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<i>A Note To the Wives</i><br />
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How much of a problem is the real question. If your husband has ever produced a document or kept track of your sex life, yes, you have a problem, but the problem isn't with your dude. When a dude starts running the numbers, yes, he's already invested some energy into the idea, so dismissing it angrily is not going to help your marriage. It might seem unromantic, ladies, but that's our practical masculine approach to the problem. Indeed, "running the numbers" is a Game fundamental. <b>The fact that you get uncomfortable when your man starts looking <i>that</i> carefully at your sex life should tell you something.</b><br />
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Look, ladies, try not to take this personally, although I know that's difficult. No one likes to think that their intimate life is under a microscope. But the fact that there is a problem in your husband's mind is the important thing, here. It doesn't matter how often your girlfriends and sisters have sex, your married friends or your divorced friends, it doesn't matter what Cosmo says the national average for married couples is . . . if your husband thinks that there's a problem, then regardless of all other factors, there's a problem. <br />
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The feminine imperative and feminist dogma both encourage you to ignore this problem or - better yet - blame it on him. But the sexually "Thirsty Husband" has a far higher chance of committing infidelity than the sexually-satisfied husband. I know dudes who blew up their whole marriage and family over their wife's inability or unwillingness to give blowjobs. It might sound petty and immature, but that's just how seriously we take our physical sex lives. <br />
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At the very least, consider it an exercise in practical mate guarding. No matter how boring and ordinary you may think the dude you married might be to you, to a woman five to ten years younger he's a mature, sophisticated man who has his shit together - and there is no end of the women who are willing to poach him out from under you. If your man is making spreadsheets and complaining about the nookie, that's an early warning sign that he's at risk. <br />
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The remedy is NOT to chew him out, castigate his morals or demean his sexuality, make excuses or blame him for the problem - on the contrary, the remedy is to take his complaint seriously, without taking it personally. He's not saying he doesn't love you - he's saying he wants to love you more, and the frustration in that matter is becoming intolerable. But he doesn't understand how (thanks to Blue Pill thinking) to articulate that in a helpful and meaningful way. <br />
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<i>The Spreadsheet As Tool For Transformation</i><br />
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The Average Fucking Chump (AFC) married man who feels sexually rejected by his wife under the Blue Pill method approaches the beginning of Red Pill wisdom. If he gets so far as to start charting the results of his encounters and rejections, he's starting to appreciate the magnitude of the problem. Most wives hate to admit how many times they gently reject their husband's advances, preferring to see such tactics not as rejection but as "anticipatory teasing", as one female colleague called it. The problem arises when that anticipation goes unfulfilled, and the affection the husband harbored starts to spoil.<br />
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Most Blue Pill husbands will reluctantly accept their wives' sexual excuses, as long as they hit often enough to make playing the game worthwhile (anywhere from 25-33%). That is, as long as they have some sort of sex every 3-4 times they initiate, they'll generally accept that as reasonable, rather than imperil even those meager rations. It's when you start getting rejected four times out of five or more that the AFC starts to get the feeling the game is rigged. <br />
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<b>Charting out your rejections is unromantic, but then so are rejections. </b> Before you can understand the need for good Married Game, you must first understand the scope of the problem, and a spreadsheet over a given period of time (say, 90 days) is a good, rational, reliable, utterly pragmatic way to take stock of your <i>status quo</i>. If you're a husband who is looking for a way to get your wife to have more sex with you, then this kind of data gathering before you take action is essential.<br />
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<i>The AFC Spreadsheet Challenge</i><br />
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So I'm proposing any man who is toying with the Red Pill, but remains unconvinced of its potential effectiveness in his own marriage, take the <b>AFC Spreadsheet Challenge</b>. Starting August 1st, start charting the number of times you initiate sex with your wife and her response. Do this for 90 days, ending on Halloween, October 31st.<br />
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A few ground rules:<br />
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1. You may not inform your wife of what you are doing, lest you spoil the objective nature of the observations.<br />
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2. Only legitimate, sincere efforts of initiation, clearly and unequivocally stated, are counted as "real" initiations. Mumbling "babe, can we tonight?" as she's running out the door to work doesn't count. Neither does proposing a lunch-time blowjob when you know there is no possible way to make it happen. There has to be adequate opportunity and reasonable conditions, as well as unmistakable communication of intent, to count an initiation.<br />
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3. You may display no negative recriminations, whining, or complaint with her rejections. You merely note them in the log and detail the context and circumstances. As a corollary, do not attempt a serious initiation more than once per day, unless the original rejection was redeemed later as a "raincheck".<br />
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4. You should also note the state of her menstrual cycle in your notes in order to make this exercise the most helpful. Most AFCs don't believe or really understand the importance of the menstrual cycle on their success ratios. See if a higher success rate corresponds to her most fertile period, when the data is analyzed.<br />
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5. Also to give this exercise the most benefit, note any scheduling issues, interruptions in normal routine, or other factors that might impact the normal flow of marital bliss.<br />
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6. Note time of day and location. Likewise note exceptional response, including increased enthusiasm, novelty, and general interest in sexual relations. You might be batting low numbers, but if you're hitting home runs frequently enough it can make up for it. Or your regular at-bat means a walk to first, perhaps with a lonely walk back to the bench afterward.<br />
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The point of this exercise is no more and no less than to collect empirical data on your ACTUAL sex life. It isn't to instantly start improving it. Indeed, what you are doing here is establishing your control data as a benchmark for improvement. Being able to look at a representation of your personal sexual history can be rudely informative. Knowing what your real numbers are, instead of the vague and subjective arguments your wife may propose about your sex life (do these sound familiar? "We do it all the time! We did it just the other day! I don't reject you, you just want it all the time! Is that all you think about? Is that all I am to you?") is the first painful step on the road toward improving your sex life.<br />
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What you do with that data is key. DON'T email it to your wife in a passive-aggressive snit, else you, too, may end up on Facebook or Reddit. The point isn't to shame your wife, as Spreadsheet Man apparently tried. <br />
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But after 90 days of careful record-keeping, if you run your numbers and discover you're batting worse than you did picking up skanks in college bars, then you have a good reason to go to your wife with the reasonable complaint about your sex life. NOT the spreadsheet. Try it. (We'll go over this again in November, but this is where we're shooting - and I'll put it in nice Blue Pill Non-Offensive language, to help you get started).<br />
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<i><b>"Honey, we need to talk. I'm concerned about our sex life. I don't feel that you're taking my sexual needs seriously, and I thought it would be best if we discussed it."</b></i><br />
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(Start in a non-accusing, reasonable, rational way. See if she agrees if there is a problem. See if she reacts emotionally. See if she reacts violently. How she reacts will give you at least some insight into the nature of the problem you face. Let's assume for the moment she's going to be only slightly offended at your temerity, but curious enough to continue the conversation without an immediate appeal to emotion):<br />
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<i>"Don't be silly, dear. We have sex plenty - all the time. How can you think I don't take your needs seriously? I love you!"</i><br />
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Continue:<b><i> "I've been paying close attention to how often we have sex lately. That is, I've been looking at how often I bring it up and how often you turn it down. I didn't want to come and talk to you if I was just blowing things out of proportion, after all - that wouldn't be fair. But I kept track of just how often we've done it, lately, and just how often I tried to talk you into it."</i></b><br />
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(Using terms like fairness, equity, and equal are all helpful terms to hold frame and keep the discussion focused and in-context. Let's assume she doubles-down on her position in the face of the realization that her husband is serious - and she's in danger of being held accountable. Common female tactics in this case are to a) Blame the Male, b) Cause a Scene c) Appeal For Support d) Deny. Let's assume she goes with Option D.).<br />
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<i>"That's just not true! Not only do I say yes most of the time, I even initiate sometimes! You know that!"</i><br />
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Continue: <b><i>"I'm sorry, but that's not what I see. I've tried to initiate ___ times in the last three months - serious, real attempts to get your attention and try to be intimate. During that time you actually initiated only twice, and most of the time you turned me down."</i></b><br />
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(This is where things get hairy, because the fact that you are checking so sincerely belies her stated position: that you have plenty of sex and that she doesn't reject you very often. Worse, you've kept track and that makes her accountable for her actions. While she likely believes that you are correct, her feminine pride and her horror at being held accountable risks seeing the situation blow up before it can be effectively dealt with. This is where she might go to a) Blame the Male)<br />
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"I can't believe you took our sex life and made a spreadsheet out of it!"<br />
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"This isn't about the spreadsheet (maintain frame), this is about the health of our marriage. I'm not trying to lecture you. This is an item of concern for me, and I wanted to call it to your attention. But if I'm getting results like this, I must be doing something wrong, don't you think?"<br />
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(No, this is not at all ALPHA - but your Blue Pill wife isn't expecting ALPHA demands. Nor are you going to be able to make any - you don't have any Game yet. Just bear with me)<br />
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"Honestly, I don't know where you get this stuff. Of course you're not doing anything wrong! It's just that we've been married for a while now - you can't expect us to act like newlyweds anymore."<br />
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"No, I expect us to act like a happily married husband and wife. I could get rejected most of the time when I was single. Why do you think you turn me down as often as you do?" (This also holds frame, and puts the ball back in her court. If she has a problem with your approach, this is where it will come out. Likely possible responses include:<br />
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"I just don't feel like it sometimes."<br />
"When you just pop up out of the blue and initiate, it takes me by surprise. I'm not always ready."<br />
"I don't like the way my body feels anymore."<br />
"I don't know, I'm just not that into sex anymore."<br />
"I'm just too tired - you know how much I work."<br />
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Etc. Etc. This is the Excuse Wagon, pulled by the Rationalization Hamster. No doubt you've recorded all of her given excuses already, but go ahead and take the time to write down her issues. The goal isn't to negotiate desire, but to call to her attention the fact that this is a problem that you are now devoting your time and energy to. Do it gently. She's not going to tell you the real reason she's not responding sexually to you.<br />
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She's bored.<br />
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She's uninspired.<br />
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She's complacent.<br />
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She feels that married women aren't supposed to have as much sex.<br />
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She feels unattractive.<br />
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And all of those things, you poor AFC Beta Boy, are the REAL reason why your numbers are low. There's only one way to raise them, and that's not doing dishes and a spiffy job on the lawn. The only way to get your wife to have more sex with you is to Game her. That is, study her sexual responses and understand them well enough to invoke them. And then make yourself into an instrument to do just that. The Spreadsheet is a tool toward that goal, nothing more. But after 90 days, you should have an adequate baseline to tell you just how much work you have to do before you reach your goal.Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-67972684688961231842014-07-21T11:46:00.000-04:002014-07-21T13:41:39.165-04:00Why Blue Pill Dating Advice For Men Sucks Scissors<div class="tr_bq">
The other Sex Nerd, Dr.Emily Nagoski has been informing the dateless male public <a href="http://www.thedirtynormal.com/blog/2014/07/19/how-to-compliment-a-woman-hint-the-same-way-you-tickle-her/" target="_blank">the proper Blue Pill/Feminist-approved ways for men to approach women </a>and, as you will see, her advice is designed to be ineffective and failure-driven. Worse, in the name of combating "male sexual entitlement" it turns the entire process of flirtation and seduction into psychotic train-wreck of masculine humiliation.<br />
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Let's start with her posting on <b>how to pay women compliments</b>, presumably about her body, as a means of approach. She uses the Facebook-delivered example of a dude who plays some Rude Boy Game by slapping at a woman's shoe on the train before complimenting her, then calling her on her irritation. While most Red Pill dudes will see this as a bold and rough opening that will a) get him remembered and b) definitely start a conversation, Emily's delicate sensibilities were offended by his presumption. Her position was that a man should not start a conversation with a compliment on a woman's appearance before first complimenting her on her personality and/or other attributes, and that NO compliment should be forthcoming unless that man was in a socially acceptable position to also tickle her (with her consent).<br />
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This is why feminist men don't get laid, and why Gammas and Deltas turn bitter.<br />
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Blue Pill dating advice is almost an oxymoron. According to Emily's attempt to "help guys out", the primary consideration any man should have in an approach situation is the fact that every woman he meets is a neurotic body-phobic mess of insecurities that should be catered to at all times, lest he be labeled an Asshole and tarnished for all time. <br />
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This non-approach method of approach is basically telling men NOT "you aren't entitled to women's bodies", as Emily suggests, however; it's telling them <b>"you aren't entitled to your own expression of sexuality because it is inherently offensive". </b> With that kind of foundation to begin upon, is it any wonder that the liberal and progressive young males out there are ending up with their own neurotic, scalzied insecurities about their sexuality?<br />
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Under feminism, there is NO authentic way for a man to approach a woman for a date without it being inherently offensive. If a man follows Emily's advice then he is to check his libido and his masculine boldness at the door in deference to delicate feminine sensibilities - which screams GENDER ROLES. While the sneaker-slapping Rude Boy Game might turn this anonymous dude into an internet meme for a few moments, when viewed with the Red Pill eye you can clearly see that while his approach failed, the blow-back for him is actually quite minimum. Sure, he's an anonymous asshole online, but Emily ignores two fundamental truths about human mating in the age of Combat Dating:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQtNLvOCon1SUpZbCXo2FvvFkOj9OfVa4fHHSaWsZVgnpTbqDAkrdhB8FdhmHfJYkIahkqO82Pt2vsw3SyL6WgawXPvhbcxLj-v2KCW0cCNC4DPiym4J6H34T-WYX-OM8ceCpM-w8VkJ0M/s1600/14040929222_f55ac7aae6_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQtNLvOCon1SUpZbCXo2FvvFkOj9OfVa4fHHSaWsZVgnpTbqDAkrdhB8FdhmHfJYkIahkqO82Pt2vsw3SyL6WgawXPvhbcxLj-v2KCW0cCNC4DPiym4J6H34T-WYX-OM8ceCpM-w8VkJ0M/s1600/14040929222_f55ac7aae6_o.jpg" height="320" width="244" /></a><b>1) Women are Fungible</b> - he may have not successfully approached this particular woman, but consistently playing Rude Boy game will inevitably pay off with a sexual success because Emily ALSO ignores the fact that<br />
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<b>2) Women respond to Rude Boy Game far more than they ever want to admit. </b> And they respond a LOT more positively to it, on average, than the standard Gammarabbit "game" of obsequious deference. The whole "chicks dig assholes" meme is regularly discounted by both feminists and Gammarabbits as patently untrue, yet any objective consideration of the data reveals that yes, indeed, in aggregate "chicks dig assholes". <br />
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Emily's advice isn't designed to improve a man's success with women. It's designed to make rejecting men easier and more comfortable for women. While that's just dandy for all the delicate wisps of silk and fluff who get offended if a man DARES compliment her sneakers, it doesn't help men at all. Indeed, in closing Emily gives these two "rules" of Blue Pill approach advice to men that basically say "Don't Approach":<br />
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Talk about something substantive. Something you have in common. Something that clearly gives you a reason for talking to her other than the fact that you want to talk to her.</span> </i><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Which, alas, means that very often there will be no reason for you to talk to someone you want to talk to, and therefore you don't talk to her.</span> </i></blockquote>
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sorry.</span> </i></blockquote>
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Two more guidelines:</span> </i></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>(1) You can say something positive about a person's body or belongings ONLY AFTER you've said something positive about their personalities, their knowledge, or other attributes that you can only know about by, like, having a conversation with them. That means that a compliment about a person's body or belongings is never how you START a conversation.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>(2) And if she's wearing headphones, she's saying, "I'm really hoping no one talks to me." In that case, the way to be the guy she likes most on that train or bus or elevator or in that coffee shop is to be the guy who DOESN'T approach her.</i></span></blockquote>
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"Sorry", she says.<br />
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This isn't helpful to men in the slightest. It's a recipe for catering to feminine insecurity in the public sphere. While men are not entitled to sex or women's bodies, they are entitled to express their masculine sexuality in a socially-approved manner that does not violate the law or common sensibilities on the subject. Noticing a woman's shoes is utterly acceptable, as is calling it to her attention. Her reaction to the approach was instructive: she rejected, and demonstrated a lack of femininity and social graces in her response that gives the gentleman some indication of the quality of woman he was dealing with. <br />
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Emily continues the madness by conducting an unscientific internet survey designed to allow women to explain all the ways they prefer to pre-reject men, and then draws the following conclusions from the results:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzjJp75kLhsC57-61yuzIInGhBK-KOAFfjqpYfxdMnLBbaHa8iCkiOk1J-Qb3nSyawrNZT-v3Juxvi1ubU_PVUkoVUw3pyoXK4119Xw8aCm6EZwpfVFqOt570dPzqT0s1AmYqV4BS-maZS/s1600/tumblr_m8ju9rdDmN1r9qhhio1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzjJp75kLhsC57-61yuzIInGhBK-KOAFfjqpYfxdMnLBbaHa8iCkiOk1J-Qb3nSyawrNZT-v3Juxvi1ubU_PVUkoVUw3pyoXK4119Xw8aCm6EZwpfVFqOt570dPzqT0s1AmYqV4BS-maZS/s1600/tumblr_m8ju9rdDmN1r9qhhio1_500.jpg" height="320" width="183" /></a><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;">BLUE PILL DATING ADVICE:</span><span style="background-color: transparent;"> </span></span></b></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;"><strong>Lesson</strong> <strong>#1</strong> is:</span><span style="color: blue;"> <strong style="line-height: 1.4em; text-align: center;">Touching a woman you don't know well is a great way to squick her out.</strong></span><span style="background-color: transparent;"> </span></span></blockquote>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.600000381469727px;"><b>Conclusion: You really, seriously, genuinely, absolutely, positively MUST GET PERMISSION before you touch.</b></span></span><b style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.600000381469727px;"><span style="color: blue;">The permission doesn't always have to be verbal, but it always has come BEFORE the touching. When there is uncertainty or ambiguity, ask explicitly or else don't do it.</span></b></blockquote>
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<span style="line-height: 1.4em; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">This is, of course, seriously, genuinely, absolutely, positively going to get you labeled as UNEXCITING TIMID GAMMA RABBIT who fails their initial worthiness test. Follow this advice and the only women you will get are the ones you don't want. Any woman whose insecurities about her body are this tightly-wound is highly unlikely to be a worthwhile pursuit for love or sport, and if she squicks that easily then throw her back. This also points out how Blue Pill/Feminist-approved dating advice for men is designed to get men to REJECT THEMSELVES BEFORE THEY EVEN APPROACH. Hardly the "help" most men need.</span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 1.4em; text-align: center;"><span style="color: red; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Red Pill Dating Advice:</b></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH9p4e_GPXuPoijYLaPncGCk1rTCvxQ_opnbV_h24OrNlKcwV-PHhBzMcyt6h2-j6-6NA063qc6-LFLFCaXfgiouXIWpnaUyygiei2C9zEi97hKd9V3D_redGkQPvHfPIVwS1b0mt9w2dd/s1600/8002992379_e94c4bf611.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH9p4e_GPXuPoijYLaPncGCk1rTCvxQ_opnbV_h24OrNlKcwV-PHhBzMcyt6h2-j6-6NA063qc6-LFLFCaXfgiouXIWpnaUyygiei2C9zEi97hKd9V3D_redGkQPvHfPIVwS1b0mt9w2dd/s1600/8002992379_e94c4bf611.jpg" height="320" width="233" /></a><strong style="line-height: 1.4em; text-align: center;"><span style="color: red; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Lesson #1 is: </span></strong><strong style="line-height: 1.4em; text-align: center;"><span style="color: red; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Casually touching a woman in a non-sexual way during approach is an <u>acceptable risk</u>; while it may squick her out, it also helps determine her level of emotional and mental security and stability. Likewise, approaching a woman with a compliment on her physical appearance may run the risk of squicking her out, but that is also an acceptable risk. The cost-benefit analysis implicit in initial approach is </span></strong><strong style="line-height: 1.4em; text-align: center;"><span style="color: red; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">designed to investigate the quality of the woman in question, and a woman whose insides "curdle in repulsion" to a <i>genuine</i> and <i>sincerely-delivered</i> compliment from any man and demonstrates that in her response is indicates poor potential for<i> any</i> kind of relationship, not to mention a profound lack of social grace. MOVE ON. You can do better.</span></strong></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 1.4em; text-align: center;">It's hard to imagine a professional sex educator doing this much of a disservice to the male sex, but that's feminism's way. <b>Masculine sexuality is a beast to be feared, not contended with, and the more frightened they can make men of their own sexuality (and convince them to feel guilt and shame about it) the more men can be used to facilitate feminine </b></span><b><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; text-align: center;">imperatives, not pursue masculine ones</span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 1.4em; text-align: center;">. </span></b></div>
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<h3>
In other words, in the dating realm the reality is that</h3>
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
<b><span style="color: red;">It Doesn't Matter What Women Like, Don't Like, Or Say They Like And Don't Like; <u>The Only Thing That Matters Is </u><i style="text-decoration: underline;">What Women Respond To</i>.</span></b></h3>
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<strong style="line-height: 1.4em; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">And that's why feminists suck at giving men dating advice. </span></strong></div>
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Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-82693643030594538282014-07-18T10:45:00.003-04:002014-07-18T10:45:36.281-04:00Proven Low-Cost Masculine Self-ImprovementI get a lot of mail from men who are desperately looking for a way to Alpha-up, break their beta, and submerge themselves in the sweet balm of masculine culture . . . but have no freakin' way how to get there.<br />
<br />
That's understandable. After forty-plus years of denigrating everything of masculine value, the institutions that once provided the stable and reasonable introductions into the world of masculinity have been tarnished, bruised, and battered in our society. Even seeking out a place to cultivate your masculinity will make you the object of derision and scorn among the women and gammas in your life. Tell a feminist you want to go someplace and learn how to be more manly, and you might as well tell her you're signing up for an "Intro To Patriarchal Oppression And Rape Culture" class. Our culture has derided the traditional masculine to the point where manhood itself has become a tired old joke in our popular culture. I don't need to tell you this stuff. You see it all the time.<br />
<br />
But what if I told you that there was an organization of men who specialized in the cultivation of masculine virtues? What if I told you that there was a society dedicated to the improvement of men by adherence to masculine virtues, not mere pick-up lines or metrosexuality? Where competence and the ambition to learn were valued over social status and SMV? Where achievement and accomplishment were not just acknowledged, but were celebrated and lauded as they should be? What if I told you that there was an organization that values the contributions your masculinity can make without reproving you for your sexism, your desire for order, or your dedication to masculine ideals?<br />
<br />
I know of such a society.<br />
<br />
When I talk to men about cultivating their masculinity they despair of not having a good group of male friends. Of not having the opportunities to explore their character through challenge and trial. I see men who desperately want the discipline and the camaraderie of male society, who crave the opportunity to contribute their own talents and resources and be recognized for those contributions. The want a place where they can go and be men without recourse to a locker room or basic infantry training. A place who will accept them for who they are, and help them grow into who they want to be.<br />
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I know of such a place.<br />
<br />
The Boy Scouts of America.<br />
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Scouting has taken a lot of heat from liberal and progressive factions over its stance on homosexuality. While it is now permissible for Scouts to be gay, there is still a ban on openly gay leaders. There are many complicated reasons for this - gay Scout leaders do now exist and have served with distinction and honor for decades in Scouts - but because of the number of religious conservatives and the perceived liability, as well as some cultural issues, openly gay Scout leaders are forbidden by the BSA. And that little point has been the wedge that progressive feminist organizations have used against the Scouts for years.<br />
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But that's not really what bugs them. What bugs them is that Scouting has been, and is still dominated by men and masculine values. When men congregate to discuss anything without the benefit of female supervision, the Matrix goes nuts. The feminist Matrix in particular recoils in open horror, assured that the Patriarchy is conspiring to oppress the wimmins the moment their backs are turned. When men gather together to discuss how to become better men - which is the fundamental and unchanging focus of the international Scouting movement - feminists freak the fuck out.<br />
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The matter of homosexual leadership is just the excuse. The moment that the ban on gay leaders is lifted, there will be yet-another issue the feminists will level at the Scouts when their current one is no longer valid. Truthfully, that day cannot come too soon - not only is this a minor issue for most groups, but it would be nice if gay Scout leaders didn't have to hide. For the most part they have no "gay agenda" beyond raising their sons to be good men. Using homosexuality as a wedge to divide men against each other does a disservice to us all.<br />
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But if you're looking for a place to freebase masculinity, you can't ask for better without joining the French Foreign Legion. Just look at the Scout Law to see the bedrock masculine values that Scouting teaches:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy9EFgNfgPrFSMZ7nMT8Un-8DYjM1u6GsAJ0p852uOBa1lK2BPbwkMvYVm44uOOCw7MHpjdBFk0xObqYuAZjVj8NQo7XPWVamFjXCs-4tapo0nTeixWApa547gAmjds5gqFMwE0g59_jo-/s1600/EagleScoutRockwell.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy9EFgNfgPrFSMZ7nMT8Un-8DYjM1u6GsAJ0p852uOBa1lK2BPbwkMvYVm44uOOCw7MHpjdBFk0xObqYuAZjVj8NQo7XPWVamFjXCs-4tapo0nTeixWApa547gAmjds5gqFMwE0g59_jo-/s1600/EagleScoutRockwell.jpg" height="320" width="234" /></a>A Scout Is<br />
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Trustworthy<br />
Loyal<br />
Helpful<br />
Friendly<br />
Courteous<br />
Kind<br />
Obedient<br />
Cheerful<br />
Thrifty<br />
Brave<br />
Clean<br />
Reverent<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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There is not a single thing there that conflicts with the Red Pill praxeology. Indeed, it is a celebration of masculine values unsullied by feminism.<br />
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Boy Scouting began a hundred years ago on Brownsea Island, in southern England, the product of Lord Baden-Powell's vision. He was a soldier in the later British Empire who served in Africa, India, and other places in the Empire. Most notably, he lead a mostly-civilian defense of a town in South Africa against Boer insurgents. It was during this siege that he employed 11-13 year old boys as "cadets" to handle non-violent military responsibilities that would otherwise use a soldier who could be on the lines. After the siege he expanded his exploration of youthful participation, writing a few field manuals on military scouting and reconnaissance. Upon retirement, he discovered his military books were enjoying huge popularity in British schools when it came to being trained in observation and deductive reasoning. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW9oS8swfzopLM58lmlGw7i9D19BflTb-kh-vU2mucVqWqtLYWbPzniBb-GN5vvUf9Yc_veodR4lgY14LVI8b9k6D_AJNw5p0fvoXAynkhK8HaEKfz_g0CtKL2IbGxvkmvGmnxOPKSxtXx/s1600/boy-scout-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW9oS8swfzopLM58lmlGw7i9D19BflTb-kh-vU2mucVqWqtLYWbPzniBb-GN5vvUf9Yc_veodR4lgY14LVI8b9k6D_AJNw5p0fvoXAynkhK8HaEKfz_g0CtKL2IbGxvkmvGmnxOPKSxtXx/s1600/boy-scout-1.jpeg" height="180" width="320" /></a>Seeing the inadequacy of the quality of manpower the British Empire was dealing with (a by-product of the industrialization of England) Baden-Powell decided to do something about it. He re-wrote his books on scouting as Scouting For Boys, and laid the foundations of the Scouting movement with a camp-out at a small off-shore island in the English Channel. He took twenty boys from various socio-economic backgrounds, took them camping, taught them knots and other useful stuff, and generally began a tradition of male self-improvement that has influenced millions of men today.<br />
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Scouting is perhaps the best, easiest, and most cost-effective route to self-improvement in which a man or boy can enlist. It distills the patriotism and discipline from the military - long the essence of male-oriented organizational culture - and removes the violent component, leaving just the plethora of skills and the path to achievement. Scouting organization is replete with ranks and levels of achievement. No one ever got an Eagle for "participation".<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7dCCU0N6dkVzd0Dl1w3qjN689sXTpIrA1CyBc0Q8CCPt1A5Of6tsh7IpsWQ1jIYAiK0F-LAkkH_GUTVNjKuA0dd8v7XAhWccHkP3msVHw7LsCd7YccRJ7Z_zosuSlpYMxI0uaZOXEpE7Y/s1600/cserkesz-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7dCCU0N6dkVzd0Dl1w3qjN689sXTpIrA1CyBc0Q8CCPt1A5Of6tsh7IpsWQ1jIYAiK0F-LAkkH_GUTVNjKuA0dd8v7XAhWccHkP3msVHw7LsCd7YccRJ7Z_zosuSlpYMxI0uaZOXEpE7Y/s1600/cserkesz-1.jpg" height="320" width="207" /></a>That's one of the feminists' issues with Boy Scouts: they encourage actual achievement, not artificial self-esteem. If you want the 50-mile hike badge, you have to hike 50 miles. You don't get a patch to celebrate your ability to show up and eat pizza. The Scouting program is designed to challenge and encourage a boy to be the best man he can be, not feel good about himself for no particular reason. Scouting carries the essence of masculine values in its basic tenants, and reinforces them through masculine-oriented rituals. There is no equality, no equity, no consensus. There is a Program, and there is accountability.<br />
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While you may have missed Scouting in your own youth (if you're over 18, there's no way you can make Eagle), the fact is that the culture and the environment of Scouting is perhaps even more beneficial to grown men. Scouting is always looking for good, responsible, committed leaders, and there's no rule that says you have to have a son to participate. Indeed, in our troop we go out of our way to include men in our community who might not have a child themselves, but still have something to contribute. Anyone who can pass a criminal background screen and takes the Child Protection course is welcome.<br />
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You might be asking yourself, "how can I help a bunch of 12 year-olds become men when I'm not sure how to do it myself?" Scouting offers plenty of training (the Wood Badge course is legendary for corporate leadership training) and the fact is that once you have to start breaking down basic masculine skills to a youth, you learn them better yourself. By being responsible for someone else's struggle with achievement and education you gain significant confidence and esteem yourself. Really.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1hYUp5l80bvT5g17BOc-GwkllbmgNdLT9R8EQscQde2t6OFhXsUA5GWzDJlxdfdvPvq0Jwm3yDYlMQTkm17ww-PNY_4sCJpyESl7LdjpSzzrXppURoUMeE9UGBedvj-glx1AD1i5Ibdf1/s1600/714b03_68f1486a98bb7c72a23ea183c0804297.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1hYUp5l80bvT5g17BOc-GwkllbmgNdLT9R8EQscQde2t6OFhXsUA5GWzDJlxdfdvPvq0Jwm3yDYlMQTkm17ww-PNY_4sCJpyESl7LdjpSzzrXppURoUMeE9UGBedvj-glx1AD1i5Ibdf1/s1600/714b03_68f1486a98bb7c72a23ea183c0804297.jpg" height="320" width="254" /></a>Nor does the emphasis on basic scouting skills deter from the larger education the boys - and the men who lead them - gain from the experience. Sure, you might not need to know how to tie a bowline in an emergency situation, but the security and confidence you gain from just possessing that knowledge can't be purchased at a weekend seminar. Scouting deals with all manner of achievement and skills, not just the woodsy outdoorsy stuff. Learning how to speak in public, learning how to lead, follow, organize, plan, execute, and follow-through is key to success, as you will learn. And the very act of mentoring a group of boys eager for decisive, knowledgeable leadership forces you to improve yourself so that you do not disappoint their expectations.<br />
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You want a workout? Strap on a 60 lb. backpack and lead a bunch of testosterone-poisoned teens on a rugged ten-mile trek through the wilderness. Iron is great, in its place, but the kind of robust, constant-workout you get by camping can't be beat. And Scouting's High Adventure component is like masculinity on steroids. No one who has returned from Philmont Scout Reserve in New Mexico has done so unchanged. A new Scout reservation is just opening in the East, north of Beckley, West Virginia, that promises to provide even greater opportunities for the men of our nation. It's like the biggest Man Cave in the world, complete with ziplines, STEM center, white water rafting and BMX park.<br />
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But if you are looking for a low-cost way of improving yourself, a tried-and-tested method of masculine empowerment, a crash course in basic maleness, you can't beat Scouting for the experience. Sign up to be a merit badge counselor or committee member at first. Scouting is great at taking advantage of volunteer talents - if you can't handle camping, there's plenty of other stuff for you to do. But nothing improves your own masculine self-image more than helping a boy recognize his own. There is nothing more Alpha than helping a boy become the best man he can be.<br />
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This would be a great place for any former or current Scouts to detail how Scouting positively informed the men they are today. You want a quick way to break your Beta and re-introduce masculinity into your life, Scouting is your best bet.Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-84327628516164257872014-07-15T14:31:00.000-04:002014-07-15T14:31:15.690-04:00When The Review Is Better Than The Book<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I haven't spoken much about the success of my 2012 book The Manosphere: A New Hope For Masculinity. Commercially, it's been moderately positive. Critically, it took an early but well-reasoned hit from Matt Forney, who called it a noble failure. I copped to his legitimate concerns - the book is flawed in execution, I freely admit. Real Soon Now I will be publishing an update or new edition, whenever I find the time. A lot has happened in the Manopshere since that book came out, and it needs to be covered.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But occasionally something comes up that brings me back to that "noble failure", like an Amazon reviewer who appreciated the book in concept and what it was trying to explain. When<a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Manosphere-New-Hope-Masculinity-ebook/product-reviews/B00D74DQ8E/ref=cm_cr_pr_top_recent?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending" target="_blank"> this review</a> came up on the site I was gratified by the reviewer's insights. It would have made an excellent forward to the book. So I'm going to present it in full, here, because I'm lazy and I think that the observations about the culture he makes are well worth the space to repeat.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(BTW, I'm not doing this to amp up book sales. But I'll see about putting the beast on sale soon, just for giggles.)</span><br />
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4.0 out of 5 stars An illuminating and potentially empowering tour of male subcultures, June 30, 2014<br />
By <a href="http://benhourigan.com/" target="_blank">Ben Hourigan, author "Ben Hourigan" (Melbourne, Australia) </a><br />
<br />
This review is from: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Manosphere-New-Hope-Masculinity-ebook/dp/B00D74DQ8E/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top" target="_blank">The Manosphere: A New Hope For Masculinity (Kindle Edition)</a><br />
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After failing to be interested in it at university, I’ve been discussing gender politics with friends online since early 2013. Check out the “gender” category on my blog (<a href="http://benhourigan.com/" target="_blank">benhourigan.com)</a> for some examples. To sum up, I find much of contemporary ‘feminist’ discourse sexist, poorly reasoned, censorious, and contemptuous of the facts—a discredit to the name and to the people who rally behind it.<br />
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When I disagree with a thing, I make sure I do my research, and in the past twelve months I’ve read rather a lot in a feminist vein and in opposition. Ian Ironwood’s The Manosphere! A New Hope for Masculinity falls into the latter category.<br />
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Agree with them or not, contrarian thinkers often seem fresher and are more fascinating than adherents to the current orthodoxy. “The manosphere” is an after-the-fact grouping of a range of men’s subcultures, from those of men’s rights activists (MRAs) and pick-up artists (PUAs) to gay men attempting to create a masculine identity amid a culture that expects their feminization. I first came into contact with the term through a friend with an interest in the broader ideological movement called “neoreaction”—which some consider the manosphere to be a part of.<br />
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Writing in the manosphere is often unruly, raw, and confrontational, even downright offensive. This is not the realm of New York and London big-5 publishing, but of group blogs and self-published e-books. I hope we are beginning to move on from disdaining such work: as it was back in the mid-2000s when I was a videogames researcher, many writers with the best feel or most interesting take on the available material are doing their work outside of big-name journals, sites, newspapers, and publishing houses.<br />
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The rise of independent publishing helps the emergence of such movements and writers, giving them retail exposure without a publisher as gatekeeper and intermediary. As thriller novelist Michael MacConnell writes, there is an indentifiable left-wing bias among writers on average. It is tempting to speculate that this is entrenched by the ability of left-biased publishing-house staff to deny authors who do not share their prejudices access to the channels they control.<br />
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Ironwood’s is a self-published book, and its rawness comes in the form of several repeatedly misused words, and a range of other not-too-prevalent mistakes. I’ve come to accept this sort of thing as part of the indie publishing landscape, provided that it doesn’t compromise readability—and this is by no means unreadable or poorly written. Further rawness comes from its sources: the aforementioned blogs and e-books rather than academic journals and the canonical texts of gender politics. Ironwood also anticipates that readers of a feminist bent will take offense to the material, and makes little apology for that.<br />
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The book is less Ironwood’s own statement, though, than it is a summary of the different subcultures within the movement, the bloggers that represent them, and the ideas that they hold. Here we see MRAs and PUAs covered, as well as Christian conservatives, “old married guys” (OMGs), alpha dads, puerarchs, and “men going their own way” (MGTOW). All of these are identified as part of “red pill” culture. The term is taken from the original Matrix movie, and here signifies a willingness to accept and act on the basis of uncomfortable truths rather than the myths of a politically correct orthodoxy, which are intended to subdue you.<br />
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Such “truths,” in the manosphere, tend towards:<br />
<br />
* ideas from evolutionary biology<br />
* a belief that men and women are different by nature as well as nurture<br />
* skeptical views of the claim that we live in a patriarchy, that men possess male privilege, and of claims about sexual assault incidence that hinge on a redefinition of “rape” and surveys where the researcher, not the subject, decides whether they have been victimized<br />
* observations that women are attracted by displays and exercises of male dominance in and out of the bedroom, including the accumulation and dispersal of wealth, and the exercise of physical strength<br />
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Dismiss all this as misogyny if you like, hopefully with an awareness that the word now means “counter to feminist orthodoxy” more often than it refers to genuine hatred or denigration. That dismissal is so predictable it can be taken as given. What’s more interesting here are some of the other discoveries to be made:<br />
<br />
* The manosphere includes gay men trying to recover their masculinity from a feminized culture.<br />
* Lots of manosphere talk is about good health and eating, career planning, the benefits of travel, self-employment, and education, valorizing blue-collar work, and trying to stay happily married.<br />
* “Men going their own way” are about recovering their independence not only from a culture that sees their primary value as being their ability to support women and serve their interests, but also from the institutions where they are expected to seek employment, and the consumer culture where they are expected to spend what they earn at the office or factory.<br />
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Let’s sum this up as simply as we can: the manosphere is about men being comfortable with their own gender identity and sexuality while pursuing good health, prosperity, and independence.<br />
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Given this, it’s somewhat inevitable that manospherians spend time criticizing feminism and feminists, which feminist commentators accuse them of spending too much time on. Why? Because manospherians’ view of feminism is that it means women serve their own interests while men also serve women’s interests.<br />
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I’m in broad agreement with this, and also in broad agreement with earlier strains of feminism. Health, independence, and a positive view of one’s own sexual identity are important for human wellbeing. Feminism’s claim is that women have been denied these goods, and it has sought to recover them for women.<br />
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The problem is, much contemporary gender feminism attempts to recover these goods while denying them to men—particularly the assertion of a positive sexual identity. Just one loathsome example of contemporary comment, written by a man, insists that modern men are trained to hate women. Really? I never was, and I never did.<br />
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In fact, I have since childhood been exceptionally comfortable with women and interested in them as people, and regarded them as my equals, a situation I’ve viewed as totally compatible with my interest in them as sexual partners. Precisely because of this, and the apparent necessity of mentioning it in my defence, the repeated insistence that, I and my male peers must in some way hate and fear women, be oppressing them, or be constantly enjoying a privilege that we are obliged to apologize for, has made me decreasingly sympathetic to contemporary feminism and calls for attention to women’s interests.<br />
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Magnify that for confirmed manospherians. Against a feminism that pursues specifically female interests to the exclusion and detriment of men’s interests, the manosphere’s subcultures raise their banner: “we are men pursuing our own interests and valorizing our own sexual identity.” And they will pursue those interests against the interests or claims of women if necessary.<br />
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If feminism is reasonable in calling for female self-determination, it then seems reasonable that men might attempt to do the same.<br />
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Though I don’t recall that Ironwood says this explicitly, one of the tantalizing offers that the manosphere makes to men is this:<br />
<br />
"Men don’t have to do what women want them to do. Or, for that matter, what anyone else wants them to do."<br />
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And not only can you do what you want, but, so the red pill observation goes, you will get laid more if you do, because women are attracted to assertive men who are in control of their own lives and don’t submit excessively to external demands or goals that others have set. And not only that, but it’s fine to view getting laid more as a goal. It looks like that’s what male sexuality is about, and it’s fine to be a man.<br />
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In the manospherian view, men don’t have to:<br />
<br />
* be feminists or feminist allies<br />
* crusade any further for sexual equality<br />
* wash the dishes using the exact method that their wives or girlfriends or mothers-in-law prefer to see them use when they are looking over their shoulders (yes, this happened to me—it was a mother-in-law)<br />
* wonder if they are rapists because the willing girl who came home with them was tipsy when they went to bed, or because they hadn’t filled out a consent form, or if they are sexual assault victims because they really wanted to sleep but had sex with their insistent girlfriend instead (yep, that’s sexual assault according to some survey methodologies)<br />
* commit to a relationship and have or support children<br />
* pander to a culture of discourse that views emotivism, faulty logic and rhetoric, personal attacks, and unwarranted extrapolations of personal experience as a praiseworthy counterpoint to the supposed masculine use of reason as a tool of oppression<br />
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Through his survey of the manosphere’s subcultures, Ironwood repeatedly gave me this kind of lightbulb-over-the-head moment where I understood that there is actually no deep moral or rational obligation for me to be on-board with the contemporary gender-feminist project, or to make apologies for my sex, sexuality, or rationality.<br />
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This should all sound hauntingly familiar: it is a mirror of some feminist outlooks. And it should be viewed as perfectly logical and defensible that, in a world where women make these assertions, men will make them, too. If we don’t like what is in the mirror, we should also look critically at what it is reflecting. In contemporary feminist and masculinist culture, there is a lack of concern for the other, and for society at large, that some (myself included) may find disconcerting.<br />
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Similar in this regard to Neil Strauss’s The Game, Ironwood’s book is an illuminating tour of male subcultures, albeit with an identity-political bent. It will fascinate most, offend many, and empower others.Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-24297234165457827352014-07-08T10:51:00.000-04:002014-07-08T10:51:47.236-04:00Why Feminists Won't Surrender The War On MarriageWhen the dichotomy between ideology and cold hard fact is just too great to ignore, it can create some interesting observations. When Martin Luther nailed his 95 Thesis on the door of a church it outlined some of the stark and ironic contradictions between the ideology of the RCC and the practice. While it's no 95 Thesis,<a href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/carriesheffield/2014/06/29/dear-feminists-in-the-name-of-fighting-poverty-can-we-call-a-truce-about-marriage/" target="_blank"> this little gem from Forbes proves that the irony of feminists fighting against marriage for the good of women is just too delicious for even a feminist to miss.</a><br />
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Entitled <a href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/carriesheffield/2014/06/29/dear-feminists-in-the-name-of-fighting-poverty-can-we-call-a-truce-about-marriage/" target="_blank">"Dear Feminists: In The Name Of Fighting Poverty, Can We Call A Truce About Marriage?" </a>writer Carrie Sheffield defends the institution of matrimony not on ideological, religious, or moral grounds, but statistically. Citing several figures that show that marriage improves women's lives as both wives and daughters, Ms. Sheffield takes 3rd Wavers-and-beyond to task over their wholesale condemnation of marriage as a plot of Teh Patriarchy.<br />
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Ms. Sheffield correctly identifies several key points about how single mother families are dragging us down economically and socially, and she calls out key factos like globalization and the social acceptability of illegitimate children as culprits. She quotes stats aplenty when it comes to why the traditional two-parent household is superior to the one-mommy-and-Uncle-Sam model. And she does, indeed, chew out feminism in general for smacking marriage around.<br />
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But in doing so she's ignoring some other pretty fundamental factors in the equation. The fact that we don't properly educate young women on the pragmatic reproductive choices they will face, for example, or our young men on the folly of young parenting without marriage. She wants feminism to put unwed mothers "in their crosshairs", but she's unwilling to follow the logic down the rabbit hole from where that leads. She's placing all the pressure on feminism, thankfully, instead of blaming the "victim" of the young man whose reproductive future was coerced, but she doesn't address feminism's essentially anti-male basis for its anti-<br />
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marriage message.<br />
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Ms. Sheffield also sees this as a class issue - but doesn't identify the harmful marxesque ideology ("man as eternal oppressor", regardless of class) that underpins and informs feminism's perspective on marriage. She proposes feminism "lay off" the topic of marriage, but doesn't say anything helpful about it laying off the general misandry that motivates feminism in the first place. At best, she says "marriage is good for women and children", and brazenly leaves men sitting, unsurprisingly, by the side of the road. <br />
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I suppose that's par for the feminist course. Identifying a real and valid method of improving the lives of women at risk for poverty sounds like it would be something feminism would be all over - but to do so they would have to abandon the victim mentality, the uber-rationalization that single moms are "men's fault", and then open up a rational and cogent discussion about the subject with actual men.<br />
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That's going to be problematic. Men are generally soured on marriage in our culture for good reason, and marriage to feminists is just masochistic. The social incentives available under agricultural culture and early industrialization evaporated with the rise of the welfare state and liberalized divorce law. <b>There just is no compelling reason for men to get married any more</b> (saving women who have made demonstrably poor choices doesn't cut it) and that fact alone should shine brightly through any article about marriage and feminism. I know guys who would be thrilled to be husbands to some decent woman, but who are so brow-beaten and terrified of divorce that they won't even consider it. Hypergamy is an existential threat to a man considering a commitment. Promises of better health and longevity do not compare to the apparent sacrifices and personal risks a man makes when he extends that commitment to a woman.<br />
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The feminist version of "marriage" implies no permanent commitment, no surety of a man raising or even seeing the offspring he is financially responsible for, and a permanent resignation of control over the family to his wife under pain of dissolution. There is no respect, here. There is no appreciation for the masculine contributions to the institution. Indeed, they are regularly denigrated and bashed, as are the husbands who contribute them. Feminist "marriage" is a transitory, temporary thing designed to fail and - in the process - humiliate and emasculate the husband.<br />
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He exists within the bonds of feminist marriage as a provider and protector, the "good" elements of marriage that feminism wants to keep, but is denied the respect and admiration a husband should receive (that would be a betrayal of the sisterhood) and he is vociferously forbidden from the patronizing, paternalistic, patriarchical practice of expecting sex from his wife and having full parental rights over his children. <br />
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For the feminist husband, marriage is an elaborate shit test he can never win, an invitation to hypergamy and divorce. The more obsequiously he praises and defers to his wife, the lower in status he descends among his male peers and the less attractive he is to his wife. Any opportunities for displaying his value as a man are mitigated or destroyed by his basic posture, and undermined by a preconception of masculine values as negative.<br />
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So why, then, would a man be drawn toward a situation which clearly doesn't have his interest in mind?<br />
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Marriage is a very particular institution, and feminism's attempt to re-write the nature of the beast have been disastrous for men. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ0yqHsLB2N2OBPx9AfyPUmM9JCCtTpNptsos1NHKAsQ2nOfaI9yvQHi1t4lRSBVjcoQYiZfJZY8YeCAM8dbOX45EThzLy0Xv4H7T83i7306POL9H1SKzdapREOfQv2Ra2IwXiHnPyis0x/s1600/tumblr_m3w8taZVFn1r9qhhio1_500.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ0yqHsLB2N2OBPx9AfyPUmM9JCCtTpNptsos1NHKAsQ2nOfaI9yvQHi1t4lRSBVjcoQYiZfJZY8YeCAM8dbOX45EThzLy0Xv4H7T83i7306POL9H1SKzdapREOfQv2Ra2IwXiHnPyis0x/s1600/tumblr_m3w8taZVFn1r9qhhio1_500.png" height="320" width="292" /></a>Ms. Sheffield needs to realize that feminism won't let up on marriage because it <i>cannot.</i> To do so would betray the ideology that is the foundation of feminism, and more pragmatically it would force feminists, and women in general, to begin to talk<i> to</i> men, not <i>at</i> them. They can't do that because they are afraid: afraid that they will be held accountable for their past misandry, afraid that they will have wasted the time and energy invested in that misandry, and (worst yet) they would have to admit that the enemy, Teh Patriarchy, for the last 40 years or so.<br />
<i>maybe wasn't quite so bad as they made it out to be</i><br />
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Feminism can't support marriage, because then it would have to face the inconvenient truths about human sexuality, marriage, divorce, hypergamy, and other gendered issues that keep us from being "equal". Further, feminism can't support marriage for the rank-and-file working class single mom because to do so would, indeed, make the lives of those women<i> better</i> . . . and <b>happy women make lousy feminists</b>. Irate, sleep-deprived single moms who can't get a date are <i>great</i> feminists. <b>Happy, fulfilled wives and mothers who can manage themselves in a real cishetero long term relationship are <i>lousy </i>feminists, even to other feminists. </b>When outrage and anger are the coin of the realm, actually expecting an ideology to encourage people to be happier by compromising their ideals is futile. <br />
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So good luck, Ms. Sheffield, but understand that convincing women that they need to marry after you have spent two generations telling them that they are better off without - and that they do not need - a man has poisoned the well irreparably. As men we're not inclined to go into a relationship where we are not "needed". Modern technology and economics has made it possible for us to live comfortably and inexpensively with all the wonders of the world a click away, nearly all the comforts of a traditional home without the intense time and money investment required to sustain that traditional home. <br />
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More importantly, it can all be done <i>without a wife</i> . . . and until women can overcome feminism's war on wives, husbands, and marriage in general, millions of men are and will be content to live their lives <i>without </i>marriage. And if that somehow hurts single women and single moms, then that's a reflection on feminism, not on the men who refuse to go against their own best interests.Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-21888205792490837922014-06-27T11:50:00.000-04:002014-06-27T12:16:31.294-04:00Why Male Birth Control Will Change EverythingEveryone knows what the female birth control pill did to our society, and while everyone also knows that reliable male contraception would be a boon, the general effectiveness of condoms and the difficulty in regulating male fertility at the hormonal level without also impairing male sexual function has made "The Male Pill" an elusive goal. Pharma companies are interested, of course - considering their profits on female birth control, opening up a huge market for exploitation on a monthly basis is just too good to pass up.<br />
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But the best proposed method for reliable male birth control isn't a hormone-based therapy. It's a minor surgical intervention that renders the patient effectively sterile for a ten-year period of time. <a href="http://www.newmalecontraception.org/vasalgel/" target="_blank">RISUG, or Vasagel, has proven effective and safe in initial clinical trials in India.</a><br />
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Because it's a surgical intervention and not a drug,<a href="http://www.parsemusfoundation.org/vasalgel-reaches-funding-milestone/" target="_blank"> there isn't much corporate support for the procedure,</a> but its promise has attracted individuals to contribute to the incredible expense of funding FDA testing. And the promise is fantastic. Essentially, a microscopic device is injected into the <i>vas deferens</i>, where its crystalline structure effectively shreds the sperm before ejaculation. After ten years the structure breaks down and the patient returns to normal fertility. Or the device can be flushed away surgically with another minor procedure.<br />
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But for ten solid years you don't have to worry about getting anyone pregnant accidentally. The power to conceive is under your control, as a man. <b>You are no longer a potential victim of reproductive coercion.</b><br />
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That's not a term you hear often enough, although the effect is widely known. When a woman gets pregnant (or pretends to, or convinces herself she is) in order to extract a commitment from a man without his knowledge or permission, that's reproductive coercion. It's the other side of "using sex as a weapon". Unfortunately, things rarely work out well for either the man who has been coerced or his off-spring.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPze6ALXVSQ7NVikchDIfzMwVS2mPadk0QQDDl-k1RvzgKnvxA2PcjEiFBm8Lr-mDP2su1-T48MbLm11ZnxhFs77P3Y47bDIlK5hyv3Jd8ulNU0T4jYgNZAsdDNX5Td9UIgsQYJ5nf8LBT/s1600/tumblr_lx9e5uwRVV1qcz6gno1_400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPze6ALXVSQ7NVikchDIfzMwVS2mPadk0QQDDl-k1RvzgKnvxA2PcjEiFBm8Lr-mDP2su1-T48MbLm11ZnxhFs77P3Y47bDIlK5hyv3Jd8ulNU0T4jYgNZAsdDNX5Td9UIgsQYJ5nf8LBT/s1600/tumblr_lx9e5uwRVV1qcz6gno1_400.jpg" height="320" width="248" /></a>In the discussion about sexual violence the issue of<i> <b>reproductive coercion</b></i> rarely comes up. The talk begins and usually ends centered on rape and violent sexual assault, acquaintance rape and sexual entitlement. <b>But the issue of sexual violence is not complete without putting reproductive coercion on the table for discussion. </b> If rape is morally wrong - and it is - then extorting an unwanted commitment from a man is <i>equally</i> wrong. <br />
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It's a Red Pill fact that a goodly portion of marriages are the result of a little blue line on a plastic stick and a True Love rationalization, not the careful vetting and examination they should be. The status quo tends to run like this: Jack and Jill go off to college, hook up with a bunch of people before getting thrown together for a weekend at the beach, knocking boots out of boredom and opportunity, and six weeks later, after both have moved on, Jill shows up at Jack's dorm with a wet stick and a blue line. June wedding and married student housing, or perhaps a semester off, if they elect to make a go of it.<br />
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Of course it really could be True Love - or boiling hormones - that provides the chemistry that turns that little line blue. Or it could be a calculated ploy on the part of an ambitious or desperate girl, pure reproductive coercion. Or it could be a simple mistake that neither of the principals feels ready to contend with, but because of moral obligation or their own youthful optimism they dive in anyway.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX48NgjdnG2xdG7FaqNDLexPtPar7IpHXIK6KjeQUycOIQxZrla291xooJ-qB9dZvFyvF_N0o01Gaj8lgTxKZt9eHNL9leqyl-uScjzX51hS97fynMwdj21sQ-WZcL9ALRGZJPJ4ujTbia/s1600/tumblr_m4l9dfiwNl1rs8fyyo1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX48NgjdnG2xdG7FaqNDLexPtPar7IpHXIK6KjeQUycOIQxZrla291xooJ-qB9dZvFyvF_N0o01Gaj8lgTxKZt9eHNL9leqyl-uScjzX51hS97fynMwdj21sQ-WZcL9ALRGZJPJ4ujTbia/s1600/tumblr_m4l9dfiwNl1rs8fyyo1_500.jpg" height="320" width="270" /></a>Whether inspired by a belief in True Love, a genuine mistake, or a cynical and calculated ploy to secure a given man, the result is the same: a child has been conceived without the father's knowledge or permission. His conscious right to choose his reproductive future has been usurped. While it takes two to tango, he is not the one leading the reproductive dance. A woman is ultimately responsible for what happens to her body, one way or another, and a man is at her mercy at even telling him about the child. <b>He is not in control of his own reproductive freedom.</b><br />
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So . . . what would happen if <i>he was?</i><br />
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Imagine, for a moment, a world in which a sixteen year old boy went in for his summer camp physical, and while he was getting his vaccinations caught up they took twenty minutes to put his reproductive life on pause. With no chance of getting anyone pregnant until he was 26, <i>what different kind of future does he face?</i><br />
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Imagine a world where a young man has a leisurely amount of time to cultivate a career, pursue a degree, develop a skill or master a profession, without the looming, lingering danger of unwanted pregnancy. <b> Imagine the shift in power as the ability for a woman to have a child comes under male review and approval.</b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCqacKIx6YjWIMarE_Lfzfp3Infb7BZShJ8y3HPu6_lgiYtv2I753APlel26yYIM8YlJMwwDAcD-6ZH5A2NDCVm-0E48QkpZwa7cU7_xto0Z2MG6FoKgwUX_C9P6oycOqlkGgiVjzOLjQp/s1600/10566659004_8cb23f4cbf_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCqacKIx6YjWIMarE_Lfzfp3Infb7BZShJ8y3HPu6_lgiYtv2I753APlel26yYIM8YlJMwwDAcD-6ZH5A2NDCVm-0E48QkpZwa7cU7_xto0Z2MG6FoKgwUX_C9P6oycOqlkGgiVjzOLjQp/s1600/10566659004_8cb23f4cbf_o.jpg" height="320" width="227" /></a>The procedure is not expensive - around $1000 - and it appears to be perfectly safe. If one assumes that any teenage boy with a brain in his head and a future ahead of him would take advantage of such a procedure, then only the very low-status, low-quality males would be casually fertile. Competition for high-quality males would be <i>extremely high</i> among women, forcing even more competition for the Big C-Commitment of an engagement ring. When a woman's ability to conceive is reduced to her ability to attract a man who finds her worthy enough to flip the switch and have a baby with her, the rules of the SMP change dramatically.<br />
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The<i> "I can always get knocked up by a handsome stranger"</i> fall-back position offers great consolation to women unable to master the intricacies of a heterosexual relationship long enough to have a baby. Most sexually-active women go out of their way to avoid pregnancy with an essential random, for fear of his real status and the social consequences of reproducing without a reliable mate. But if the majority of decent dudes are voluntarily sterile, then even<i> that</i> possibility vanishes. But that would not be the boon to women you might imagine.<br />
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As the Wall inevitably approaches, the reproductive instinct, combined with generous contributions from the Rationalization Hamster, allow a given woman to rationalize lowering her standards to take advantage of the large pool of dudes who want a regular piece of ass and possibly a relationship, muddle through with Beta Bucks and start looking around for some Alpha on the side while soon-to-be ex-hubby raises the kids. That's the<i> status quo</i> for all too many poor Beta dudes who think they've found <i>True Love</i> when what their wives are thinking <i>Starter Husband</i>. As long as she's got a few good eggs and a willingness to go wild for an unsuspecting Alpha, she has a potential escape hatch and the rationalizations and legal remedies to use it.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhekQuuw9Jsv7xwZegPtqdfz9CDihkd8jhGDmfNmivqr7Z35QEKLiDjZYewYHzEj306fJV8mSE_QcoJ1QHesQQhFJh-xQF6rUoZmT8TCk1Tr_GAfMJSeAA_-Cu_BZUOTTWH94PjvD9Tgj2V/s1600/tumblr_lxi13xrML91qcz6gno1_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhekQuuw9Jsv7xwZegPtqdfz9CDihkd8jhGDmfNmivqr7Z35QEKLiDjZYewYHzEj306fJV8mSE_QcoJ1QHesQQhFJh-xQF6rUoZmT8TCk1Tr_GAfMJSeAA_-Cu_BZUOTTWH94PjvD9Tgj2V/s1600/tumblr_lxi13xrML91qcz6gno1_1280.jpg" height="320" width="311" /></a>But what happens when that option is, for all practical purposes, off the table? When any hypergamy-inspiring hot Alpha who walks into her life is in control over his own reproductive destiny, the biological escape hatch is closed. And when she has to ask her husband's permission to have a baby, she has lost the innate power of her feminine reproductive biology. <br />
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It goes beyond that, of course. When the Betas-and-below can effectively control their reproductive freedom, the ability for a woman to secure a reliable provider with her reproductive biology without his consent . . . vanishes. She must rely on her sexuality and her (shudder) personality to convince a given man that she is <b>worthy enough to bear his children. </b>The burden of proving herself falls to her, as mother, not to him, as father and provider.<br />
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The result: teenage pregnancy drops, and accidental pregnancies of all types plummet. Male fertility - a commodity so plentiful it's currently essentially free on the SMP - <i>suddenly has value.</i> Men of quality get the procedure as a matter of course. Most of the middle class, naturally. Any smart boy on his way to college would certainly do it. Same thing for the military forces - who wouldn't? No need to worry about pregnancy if you don't have to, right? <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguCGKCtuM248GfmgbGxdOhELAI2KbMcCyJEGlzQDRmtySSNeC7QvnNKEcu3dbF9UWyBBMfFDxrZ-UklPalz4tkdTE_nTUC2SbcdBqRHwDeI8gHNaetpYhiKdq42hChNILYKaFSwl1drNpN/s1600/7695230310_5b9be9b08a_m.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguCGKCtuM248GfmgbGxdOhELAI2KbMcCyJEGlzQDRmtySSNeC7QvnNKEcu3dbF9UWyBBMfFDxrZ-UklPalz4tkdTE_nTUC2SbcdBqRHwDeI8gHNaetpYhiKdq42hChNILYKaFSwl1drNpN/s1600/7695230310_5b9be9b08a_m.jpg" /></a>And then the power in the SMP shifts. When women have to compete, <i>really</i> compete for a man's commitment, not just for provision and protection but <i>for access to his</i> <i>genes</i>, then the social pressures change and the idea of commitment becoms a <i>lot</i> more clear-cut. <b>Marriage becomes re-entwined with reproduction as it becomes clear that a solid marriage is the best guarantee of quality children raised in a reliably stable family.</b> Men who are able to demonstrate that kind of ability by their late 20s suddenly gain huge capital in the SMP, and they will be quick to re-write the rules of commitment. Without the potential of "Guess what, honey? You're gonna be a daddy!" looming over them they are free to insist on a far stronger commitment than the drive-by matrimony that persists today.<br />
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Of course the Puerarchy explodes with horny young dudes who can't get a girl pregnant, thus obscuring the future good family men from being easily identified in the competition altogether. When "extended adolescence" means being sterile until you're 26-28, life for a young man becomes one long pussy-party. Even having a steady girlfriend doesn't mean as much. The moment she brings up the idea of a serious commitment without the biological bond of a child, the youth in question is forced to look just at her, not at their offspring, when making that decision. And let's face it, ladies, many of you just won't measure up under that kind of scrutiny. <br />
The process of conception requires his<b> positive approval</b>, not just his passive cooperation. Without that bullet to dodge, the Puerarch is able to really enjoy his youth in ways that make feminists everywhere shudder.<br />
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RISUG gives men the chance to<i> really</i> plan and execute their life's ambitions without concern for premature distractions. With the smug knowledge that our sexual capital only improves with our age, instead of depreciating like a woman's, such control over our genetic destiny gives men the room to make far more intelligent, informed choices about where and when they want to father children, and with whom. It puts a premium on the Dad skills and abilities, and makes the stakes in Combat Dating much, <i>much </i>higher for women. It puts the balance of reproductive power in <i>masculine</i> hands, and increases the competitive drive among women.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpdnaIFo1tpp-2zfKVtRATH6-PjzjYqa4lvp8aS5AZMxDgfyrfqnNGWY2_WhE55D9gkhh73JULRmWe0m8JP35cWF3LDhiWttjlqLgZFczOR-0xE6lrc1vLD0H_QXTBs4J7TZBOum0uscBX/s1600/ethyl41depot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpdnaIFo1tpp-2zfKVtRATH6-PjzjYqa4lvp8aS5AZMxDgfyrfqnNGWY2_WhE55D9gkhh73JULRmWe0m8JP35cWF3LDhiWttjlqLgZFczOR-0xE6lrc1vLD0H_QXTBs4J7TZBOum0uscBX/s1600/ethyl41depot.jpg" height="237" width="320" /></a></div>
Suddenly fatherhood becomes a hot commodity, not a wellspring for sitcom jokes. A man who has elected to be a dad would first secure his rights and ensure he has made a choice in the mother of his children that he can live with before he has the reversal done. Without the biologic pressure of unexpected pregnancy, he has the time to vet - and, if necessary, discard - unsuitable mates before they lure him into marriage and divorce. He also has the time to develop a career and financial standing to support children <i>when he's ready to</i>, not when that cute girl he met in the quad presents him with a freshly-peed-upon stick. By the time your AFC Beta boy is ready to become a Dad, he'll be in his late 20s, moderately successful, and ready to make some serious decisions about his life - and his choice of wife.<br />
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Of course that also frees up his dating life, too. Without the danger of unexpected pregnancy, he just has the minefield of STDs and batshit crazy to navigate, and that's not nearly as fate-changing, usually, as bringing a kid into the world. With a modicum of Game knowledge, the Dad-to-be can sow his oats like an Alpha for a decade. That's likely to make him generally less commitment-happy, and genuinely instruct him on the nature of women. And that's going to be <i>very</i> frustrating to the Beta-girl who suddenly fines herself desperately <br />
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competing for male attention when she wants to be out protesting wage inequality. <br />
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And most importantly, it makes<i> responsible fatherhood a valuable commodity</i>. The worse the Puerarchs behave in their cock-sure shenanigans, the more the stability of a well-seasoned male will be valued by women who want to be mothers. Watch the age of first marriage climb for men, and over-all marriage rates fall yet lower. <br />
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The blowback against feminism would be severe. When femininity is valued, feminism loses force. Arguing for a lean-in career path which almost certainly dooms your chances of reproduction loses credibility in the face of observable truths. <br />
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Revalorizing marriage and family by re-valuing fatherhood and paternalism - and, yes, Patriarchy - leaves women with stark choices when it comes to their futures. They would either have to commit to a childless future as a corporate drone, dying lonely and covered in cats, or they will play the game that gets them pregnant, by the rules made by those who control the tap. Feminism will be a hollow ideology. <b>When men hold their future children hostage to their will, women will reflect more deeply on the whole issue of equality.</b> And we'll see a lot less emphasis within the Matrix on conquering the corporate world, and more emphasis on <i>escaping</i> it . . . by becoming a wife and mother to a worthy man.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRsLc6XLAAACuJuX0s7IULKIoFVeQJi4mEYpmfoC22QRIwmGAUymkt46wdwiTNiSaZJqeltSLbbKdf8lYxOzQxZnpZelhZ7mnqNmknVaJjWBEEaYqxRjNoDmC0Cj6SidF6h54Yp9RoA1nt/s1600/tumblr_mhti3tDdym1r9qhhio1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRsLc6XLAAACuJuX0s7IULKIoFVeQJi4mEYpmfoC22QRIwmGAUymkt46wdwiTNiSaZJqeltSLbbKdf8lYxOzQxZnpZelhZ7mnqNmknVaJjWBEEaYqxRjNoDmC0Cj6SidF6h54Yp9RoA1nt/s1600/tumblr_mhti3tDdym1r9qhhio1_500.jpg" height="400" width="268" /></a></div>
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Also, capitulating to popular demand as a test I'm letting folks take a look at a Red Pill Primer for Boys, set up as a Google Presentation. <a href="https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1RrgcmdwYm97jwNUJ95MH-xV2JhVpWdBSnYp9o1A7Ecs/edit?usp=sharing" target="_blank">Here's the intro. </a> Let me know what you think.<br />
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<br />Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-31340661441168175522014-06-24T15:04:00.003-04:002014-06-24T15:04:22.769-04:00The Feminist True Love Hamster<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqqMnAIQaFr0p3YpofY17R3lUGFls6OGGwnghNQI_WaZrl2usfzizbdA36NXHtoh5AObpCiV8IGhjT7DJS2mE47hnfnWCTj5f7K04wMNX35Fpyj4MJJmngtHdlwEBv0qDs7g2JMV9GqLBO/s1600/12648903804_220fca3d83_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqqMnAIQaFr0p3YpofY17R3lUGFls6OGGwnghNQI_WaZrl2usfzizbdA36NXHtoh5AObpCiV8IGhjT7DJS2mE47hnfnWCTj5f7K04wMNX35Fpyj4MJJmngtHdlwEBv0qDs7g2JMV9GqLBO/s1600/12648903804_220fca3d83_o.jpg" height="320" width="267" /></a></div>
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As I've often noted, Feminism and True Love are both <b>mating strategies</b>. The former relies on social control to reduce competition for the highest valued women by discouraging active mate selection among the rank-and-file. By reducing the social impetus to permanently mate, otherwise-dangerous competitors devote their most fertile (and attractive) reproductive years to a career, or a string of failed relationships due to their lack of investment. True Love, on the other hand, promises "Happily Ever After" (HEA) for the woman who relies on traditional feminine allure to seek out the highest-value male she can attract, promising wedded bliss and masculine comfort (tall, broad-shouldered, <i>seethingly</i> Alpha masculine comfort) for ever middle-aged pudgy office manager with a Kindle, on the basis of their imaginary virtue alone.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMtFM1my42s1PLJtViYY1OcZYYEr9FsKOu6Tj4tNdzFJnUwqDoFRnakAiLeJYWGzhzjYGGvA_Onj_7GVkF2bUJpxKqoWyauKYkjml8nY5RAaH2YGmEs32ctGXtRag14kdHBQdxBQlL5WQV/s1600/12626283345_d1b2d9e48e_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMtFM1my42s1PLJtViYY1OcZYYEr9FsKOu6Tj4tNdzFJnUwqDoFRnakAiLeJYWGzhzjYGGvA_Onj_7GVkF2bUJpxKqoWyauKYkjml8nY5RAaH2YGmEs32ctGXtRag14kdHBQdxBQlL5WQV/s1600/12626283345_d1b2d9e48e_o.jpg" height="320" width="283" /></a></div>
The two would seem diametrically opposed: the feminist perspective is an ideology which de-emphasizes marriage and family altogether, while the mystical True Love seeks nothing less. One would assume, based on the ideology, that feminists would eschew romance novels for the context-dependent female pornography they are. Ditto the celebrity pages, Huffpo's incessantly mindless fawning over fashion, "supernatural romance" and soap operas. Yet feminist-oriented organs almost inevitably cave to the pressure of HEA, as a guilty-little-secret or as a (utterly rationalized) bit of "feminist empowerment". When you get past the rhetoric about rape culture, the patriarchy, and misogyny rhetoric, it appears that what hardcore feminists dream of, fantasize about, even obsess about is . . . marriage.<br />
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The delicious irony should escape no one. While feminists play Beat The Beta in the cultural arena, condescendingly blaming regular dudes for everything from wage disparities to sexual assault, their mouths may say More Beta but the secret fire in their loins is only inflamed by Mythical Alphas. Only the profound power of the Rationalization Hamster can heal this devastating rip in ideological reality. Only by denying its importance and playing off the inherent element of wish-fulfillment in the genre, <a href="http://www.charlestoncitypaper.com/charleston/forgive-me-if-ive-fallen-in-love-with-romance-novels/Content?oid=4941479" target="_blank">near-desperate apologies such as this (from a column entitled "Feminism, Y'all")</a> by blogger <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://www.charlestoncitypaper.com/charleston/ArticleArchives?author=4106575" rel="author" style="background-color: white; color: #008888; line-height: 12px; text-decoration: none;">Alison Piepmeier</a></span> can the Hamster possibly keep heads from exploding.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-un0yc51PQa_Yy1axlQ1Pb3NpRxW7PaD5U3ygt9kiqzLVs94B0kbALMtiNiT2txcCLM1TbYQtkOWzsa5pVdzXuy9aOpW_Tfu3Y-xNazC3mX2GMGyfK1dP7GTiInanKRAA0HWAKhFpceI2/s1600/12760765733_0da20b00dd_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-un0yc51PQa_Yy1axlQ1Pb3NpRxW7PaD5U3ygt9kiqzLVs94B0kbALMtiNiT2txcCLM1TbYQtkOWzsa5pVdzXuy9aOpW_Tfu3Y-xNazC3mX2GMGyfK1dP7GTiInanKRAA0HWAKhFpceI2/s1600/12760765733_0da20b00dd_o.jpg" height="320" width="244" /></a>Don't mistake me: I am not opposed to romance novels. They fulfill a vital role in feminine sexual psychology, providing data, suggestions, and accessories to the constant demand for context a women gets from the Female Social Matrix. Just like porn, in the weak-minded they can provide too much data, feeding<br />
deep-seated feelings of entitlement and dooming the viewer/reader to perpetual disappointment with reality. But for most women they are mere fantasy jilling material, grist for the mill of their imaginative sexuality - despite the never-varying plot/character structure. Ms. Piepmeier sums up the appeal nicely, but incompletely:<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.783679962158203px;">The novels feature female protagonists who initially may seem to fit the stereotype of the helpless woman, but who ultimately save the day — or play a very significant part in saving the day. They have fun plots with twists and turns, controversy and conflict, moments when you hold your breath because it's clear that everything is going to fall apart. But everything doesn't fall apart, because these novels always have happy endings. And the happy endings are crucial for me.</span></blockquote>
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.783679962158203px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJrqbQ4lNDKGwpWHblC5SO_L59vO-pafxonCJ20wlA-Ca5einfWM-aGaO4l34v-m0Zt3zCjUn95poABI2XZh_YC5r8HA2pe98p0vEE6vpTgDDN9jg0A2wJyDjp80zGrykT_sa1ZMzIwlL0/s1600/13158142213_2953175618_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJrqbQ4lNDKGwpWHblC5SO_L59vO-pafxonCJ20wlA-Ca5einfWM-aGaO4l34v-m0Zt3zCjUn95poABI2XZh_YC5r8HA2pe98p0vEE6vpTgDDN9jg0A2wJyDjp80zGrykT_sa1ZMzIwlL0/s1600/13158142213_2953175618_o.jpg" height="320" width="187" /></a><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.783679962158203px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Ms. Piepmeier doesn't mention the fact that the "happy ending" invariably involves (expressed or implied) permanent commitment for the plucky heroine with her perfect-but-flawed Mr. Right. In other words, Marriage. Feminism's sworn enemy.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.783679962158203px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.783679962158203px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Rationalization Hamster to the rescue! Indeed, Ms. Piepmeir not only dismisses the rational disconnect, she enlists the aid of other apologists to lend weight to her rationalization:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.783679962158203px;"><br /></span></span>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.783679962158203px;">Conseula Francis, a professor of English and African-American Studies at the College of Charleston, studies romance novels. "Here's why the happy ending matters," she told me. "These novels force us, whether we know it or not, to take joy seriously. Literary fiction often asks us to consider the pain and angst and ennui of human existence. Romance asks us to consider the pleasures."</span></blockquote>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7QRepQGDDZVQjrQhL_N3lkxYQfjo4nY3kL4tu7rIdubcaYTNvOkR6nu6MTExDQk1z3MbjXY5A5lT-sWP0fE4HgDz4zDT1TcG9JJ3LaBtSEzxGE1rbGQpjy9Sbw61jlUJ4i-INOKqL0Fr4/s1600/12626283345_d1b2d9e48e_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7QRepQGDDZVQjrQhL_N3lkxYQfjo4nY3kL4tu7rIdubcaYTNvOkR6nu6MTExDQk1z3MbjXY5A5lT-sWP0fE4HgDz4zDT1TcG9JJ3LaBtSEzxGE1rbGQpjy9Sbw61jlUJ4i-INOKqL0Fr4/s1600/12626283345_d1b2d9e48e_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7QRepQGDDZVQjrQhL_N3lkxYQfjo4nY3kL4tu7rIdubcaYTNvOkR6nu6MTExDQk1z3MbjXY5A5lT-sWP0fE4HgDz4zDT1TcG9JJ3LaBtSEzxGE1rbGQpjy9Sbw61jlUJ4i-INOKqL0Fr4/s1600/12626283345_d1b2d9e48e_o.jpg" height="320" width="283" /></a>"Joy" and "pleasures" in this context mean a ring and a June date with Mr. Right, after the heroine has rescued him from himself by virtue of her <span style="color: red;"><b>Magical PoonTang.</b></span> The essence of every successful romance novel is the heroine's ability to use her femininity and sexuality to change Mr. Right's destiny, saving him from his own base emotions and desires by the simple virtue of Being Together. Married. <i>Not</i> independent fuck-buddies who pursue different careers and take a week off together every Spring - but honest-to-Hera Husband and Wife (with hyphenations, natch). Mr. Right is inevitably brimming over with Alpha, but with the heroine's influence he becomes a domesticated Alpha, content with whatever charms her Magical<br />
PoonTang may hold.<br />
<br />
The fun plot twists and turns cited are nominal, at best, and require the special knowledge or skill the heroine alone possesses in addition to her Magical PoonTang, but in the end the decision for Mr. Right's precious commitment is lies almost exclusively with his<i> unrelenting</i> <i>devotion to her personal abstract femininity </i>. . . the same quality that 3rd Wave feminism despises as "masculine entitlement". When a feminist woman "takes joy seriously" in a romance novel, the joy she is taking is is that of a woman submitting herself to an Alpha under the pretext of "taming" him.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwKUHY_ARILfWt1ED4Lm01FhafAO9krnwpakRD8NGO8_tLBhjlQkFhfhkid5atGCpFwO_gqfwR__9TYGHGl72STy-U-VhQNneOlQLwDTuMXMNSwcutc3v2TsJWSx35UkHYeWQUUFqfXoE_/s1600/cw8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwKUHY_ARILfWt1ED4Lm01FhafAO9krnwpakRD8NGO8_tLBhjlQkFhfhkid5atGCpFwO_gqfwR__9TYGHGl72STy-U-VhQNneOlQLwDTuMXMNSwcutc3v2TsJWSx35UkHYeWQUUFqfXoE_/s1600/cw8.jpg" height="320" width="246" /></a>If nothing else, studying romance novel structure and tropes strongly reinforces core Game concepts. More importantly, discovering a woman is a reader of this jillfodder gives you keen insight on her inner psychological approach to her nether regions, key areas where leverage can be easily applied. Most women who read such novels are wearing their Hamster out in the open where anyone who knows Game can see it. It's a cry for more Alpha in her personal life, more shirtless billionaires and misguided oil barons with muscles like spring steel, more ruggedly handsome strangers with exotic accents or chilling pirates with an inexplicable gentle side. <br />
<br />
Articles like Ms. Piepmeir's serve to cautiously make a stab at reclaiming some kernel of femininity from feminism's crushing jaw. In admitting to the allure of brazen cis-hetero sexuality and the longing for the Alpha feminists who read romance novels betray the secret behind feminism's ham-handed approach to a mating strategy: as an elaborate shit-test designed to weed Alphas from Betas-and-below, wrapped in a thick layer of rationalization. None of these romance heroines are leaving their men behind to pursue their careers, they aren't abandoning Happily Ever After for the prospect of making partner, they are all graciously accepting the masculine commitment at the end of the book. Oh, they'll agonize about it the whole way - that's the fun - but if they don't succumb to the commitment with Mr. Right at the end of the book, then there's no "joy". "Joy", it seems, means succumbing to marriage, and nothing less.<br />
<br />
Ms. Piepmeier has a different take. But put through a Red Pill filter, one may translate:<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDnMV4-XpCoJ_F75DjEkmkcStyomZz7NpIkA-jWQdIPu3fftm9YLpOYf-5uV-yMUij3OcXrey1eeYlZm8kb8AHwxNm8Trdhb_Czs3ZWrCWTmBhDacenVcY6uX9-ZIWXpQtjZujtndOHiVt/s1600/tumblr_maoi2a89cp1r9qhhio1_500.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDnMV4-XpCoJ_F75DjEkmkcStyomZz7NpIkA-jWQdIPu3fftm9YLpOYf-5uV-yMUij3OcXrey1eeYlZm8kb8AHwxNm8Trdhb_Czs3ZWrCWTmBhDacenVcY6uX9-ZIWXpQtjZujtndOHiVt/s1600/tumblr_maoi2a89cp1r9qhhio1_500.png" height="263" width="320" /></a><b><i>The female protagonists get to have adventures. </i></b>["They get to be stimulated by danger and excitement but without real consequence, thanks to Mr. Right"] <b><i>They get to be competent.</i></b> ["They get to demonstrate the characteristics that make them acceptable mates, other than the Magical PoonTang, which overrides everything else"] <b><i>And they get to have great sex. </i></b>["They get to have great sex with a perfect dude willing to offer them commitment, enjoying the infatuation stage of the relationship without addressing the pesky realities of sustaining a relationship or criticizes them on their performance or approach in the slightest"].<b><i> Reading them is a fully feminist act.</i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b>
You bet it is, Cupcake. That's the feminist take on romance novels: Lean in until you catch a ring for yourself. Then repeat as necessary. There are plenty of Alphas to go around for everyone. And gosh, you <i>deserve </i>one, even if you don't<i> need</i> one.<br />
<br />
The flip side of this of course is the female Omegas, those poor women who use these novels like internet tube sites. Perpetually invested in the True Love strategy, which doesn't account for real-life attractiveness or the scantness of shirtless billionaires, these poor women have hamstered themselves into a level of <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbOGdak5dMYFpLOnAHOaUaUIfiE7mSC2RQ0RDimindkpNnqXSNm4LcZYZ166IJqXgVC_NsypJqBvAhvsh_VqS3BRgYFDFhyphenhyphenyN6pujVOAhWXnY910Nh07wgCwHW_zLoU2LyY5cgyOaSiHP5/s1600/tumblr_m13kqjw4ML1qcz6gno1_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbOGdak5dMYFpLOnAHOaUaUIfiE7mSC2RQ0RDimindkpNnqXSNm4LcZYZ166IJqXgVC_NsypJqBvAhvsh_VqS3BRgYFDFhyphenhyphenyN6pujVOAhWXnY910Nh07wgCwHW_zLoU2LyY5cgyOaSiHP5/s1600/tumblr_m13kqjw4ML1qcz6gno1_1280.jpg" height="320" width="307" /></a></div>
entitlement that screams defiantly at reality. When they do embrace feminism, it's usually out of a sense of sexual frustration. Feminism offers them the opportunity to rationalize their own personal failings and past humiliations as the fault of the misogynistic patriarchical rape culture, which oppressively doesn't realize the obvious advantages of the Magical PoonTang of the bitter, pudgy middle-aged single mom and awarded the Alpha accordingly. <br />
<br />
These women are waiting in vain for their Mr. Right, because they foolishly took feminism at face value, when it came to the war on sexism/sexuality/male sexulity/rape culture. Feminism told them that a real Mr. Right wouldn't care what a woman looked like, just as True Love told them that her personal femininity was enough to ignite the fiery passion of every big-dicked Alpha who was worthy of her. <br />
<br />
Like the fat 30 year old bronies who just know that they are entitled to big-boobed supermodel heiresses who will realize what a cool and witty dude they are, these female Omegas have been tricked out of even showing up to the Sexual Market Place. Nor is their misery wasted: feminism uses it to confirm their solipsistic belief that The Patriarchy is what is hiding all of the Alphas away from them, not their own failure to compete. Guys would be nicer, more gentle, less judgmental, and just more accepting of cats, aging, and Teen Wolf binge marathons if it wasn't for the darn ol' Patriarchy and its misogynistic minions. Romance gives them the personal ideal, feminism provides the finger to point the blame for their disappointment, while smart women skate between the two, run female Game, and snag up the marriage-minded Alphas. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjls3dcR6RlJ979plbFGY22MM8WeDjnB0FAhAlhivsiNnLm2paHmquRcSrKkZR_YsrWvobuinC-Z6W84qPOQ5kLdrzISV1YS71JntSA12DNcNnz8xiuxWpkgWWhHx2Q2vYKis2horX5Aerh/s1600/10718592816_4d9b5d21c7_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjls3dcR6RlJ979plbFGY22MM8WeDjnB0FAhAlhivsiNnLm2paHmquRcSrKkZR_YsrWvobuinC-Z6W84qPOQ5kLdrzISV1YS71JntSA12DNcNnz8xiuxWpkgWWhHx2Q2vYKis2horX5Aerh/s1600/10718592816_4d9b5d21c7_o.jpg" height="320" width="246" /></a>The difference between porn and romance novels isn't just the genre and medium, however. There's a contextual difference that many forget. The 30 year old schlubs who are whacking it daily to the tubes <b>still have time to learn Game and free themselves</b>. Thanks to their biology, their sexual capital in the SMP is about to mature, even if their personalities don't. A year spent in the gym, learning Game, and applying themselves to their lives can make even the most unredeemable Omega dude acceptable, perhaps even impressive. I've seen it happen. <br />
<br />
The Omegas' romance-reading female equivalent, on the <br />
other hand, is at the end of her shelf-life as a viable commodity. The Wall loometh, and all the feminist theories in the world aren't going to change that. Men will always be attracted to youth and beauty over age and plainness. <br />
<br />
By the time your average feminist woman's hamster accepts that, and she's grudgingly willing to admit that yes, she might like to be married someday . . . she's usually devalued herself heavily in the SMP. Heavily enough so that in the brutal competition for quality mates she's severely handicapped. Neither feminism or romance can offer her a solution, not one that she can stomach. <br />
<br />
While a 30 year old male geek who discovers Game can re-invent himself fairly easily, a 30-year old short-haired feminist Omega has to make severe compromises of her ideology and her approach if she's going to stand a chance, even for a desperate Gamma. She's starting fifteen years too late, at the last gasp of her natural talent in an area of expertise she's been taught to despise. Her best hope lies in capitulating utterly, <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjaLvoIlDksGZUDeg1Ok0dOYrDSKFa62D-nyEjRirZpcJ7JjK6O38Ejn-wpHA3ICKg6J1exu1Hlh5Hnfym8BU-gP5CaAU7E2A6yJugB6-SmJU-nhcWxaPv65fs-iFqYOi0jJj-i7YcSFo7/s1600/JIM+SCHAEFFING12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjaLvoIlDksGZUDeg1Ok0dOYrDSKFa62D-nyEjRirZpcJ7JjK6O38Ejn-wpHA3ICKg6J1exu1Hlh5Hnfym8BU-gP5CaAU7E2A6yJugB6-SmJU-nhcWxaPv65fs-iFqYOi0jJj-i7YcSFo7/s1600/JIM+SCHAEFFING12.jpg" height="219" width="320" /></a></div>
becoming a Red Pill woman and embracing her femininity while eschewing feminism. Dreams of even mild suburban fulfillment are elusive as the men she thinks are in her league realize their own growing value. In the end, she's as likely to have an empty home and cats to read her novels to than even a poor quality commitment. <br />
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But perhaps her story will prove to be a warning to younger generations before they repeat her mistakes. Happily Ever After has to be <i>earned</i>. You can't depend on luck and access to your Magical PoonTang to give it to you. The <i>real</i> Mr. Rights of the world have more discriminating eyes than that. The smart ones aren't going to marry avowed feminists, <i>anyway. </i>Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-52469820675507272512014-06-18T15:07:00.002-04:002014-06-18T15:07:52.962-04:00Wife Test: Warm & Pleasant DispositionRiffing on a great post over at <a href="http://www.justfourguys.com/pleasant-wife-pleasant-life/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=pleasant-wife-pleasant-life" target="_blank">Just Four Guys,</a> today's lesson, Gentleman, is about your potential bride's Warmth and her Disposition. Those are two elements of the female character which are strongly indicative of her suitability to the job, and all too often they are overlooked by the lovestruck or overshadowed by a busty figure. Your wife's appearance and attractiveness may wax and wane over time, but her warmth and her disposition is a constant in your life. It should therefore be highly weighted in your determinations.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLNQtcVDy0ABAyg-MXlLeH_RgiUZWa3b56FtokBIpfq_isKXHgruQdiP2I3BDbym5XRJWKCw-eszoycOPeWnJo-xSJJVbfP_uf2SgKa_3q1CrpxugQBWw3xCurmxRwjoP44ANgPvniawKw/s1600/Lifestyle_002_ref.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLNQtcVDy0ABAyg-MXlLeH_RgiUZWa3b56FtokBIpfq_isKXHgruQdiP2I3BDbym5XRJWKCw-eszoycOPeWnJo-xSJJVbfP_uf2SgKa_3q1CrpxugQBWw3xCurmxRwjoP44ANgPvniawKw/s1600/Lifestyle_002_ref.jpg" /></a></div>
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"Warmth" is one of those difficult-to-define terms that has a strong subjective component. You might not be able to tell what it is, but you know it when you see it. It is among the most enduring of feminine characteristics, sometimes not fully emerging until motherhood. It is also frequently attacked by feminism as a gender-based stereotype, therefore decreasing its value among the adherents of this ideology. Disposition, likewise, has been lambasted as a weakness by masculine-oriented feminists. A traditionally feminine disposition, pleasant and attractive, has been called into question by corporate feminists who see it as a needless departure from their leaning in. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmphIdX-ukwj6ZlhkjqhThgRNcItgaLo5vRDwsmv8q7JhINsasXoIjQmaRhCtZ2SCF8Aa22s4t9kOYV3-Xj51o-Jjl7DTovPrQp-hAsSi5-h5QhBhJOMzXIzeDq4pMt2OjnHQd0n0rwkFz/s1600/tumblr_m05ybqzYd01r9qhhio1_500.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmphIdX-ukwj6ZlhkjqhThgRNcItgaLo5vRDwsmv8q7JhINsasXoIjQmaRhCtZ2SCF8Aa22s4t9kOYV3-Xj51o-Jjl7DTovPrQp-hAsSi5-h5QhBhJOMzXIzeDq4pMt2OjnHQd0n0rwkFz/s1600/tumblr_m05ybqzYd01r9qhhio1_500.png" height="320" width="273" /></a>But warmth, and a pleasant disposition can be a key factor in both initial attraction and ultimate mate selection. Both attributes depend largely on that most valued of female traits, a woman's Receptivity.<br />
<br />
Distinguished from her willingness or ability to be submissive, men value receptivity in a woman. That is, her willingness and ability to be open to his ability to order and invite. A woman who is not generally receptive will rarely be receptive, suddenly, to her husband's leadership, no matter how strong a leader he is. By abandoning her receptive nature, many modern women have unknowingly also abandoned a key feature of their allure. "Warmth", as a characteristic, is the expression of a woman's social receptivity; being "warm" means that she is receptive to casual social interactions, including the comfort and ease of those around her. A Pleasant Disposition, on the other hand, is a token of a woman's receptiveness to establishing harmony in her environment through answering verbal and nonverbal calls for support. If either one of these things is missing in a given woman, the prospect of her being a good wife goes down dramatically.<br />
<br />
Such receptivity isn't overtly submissive or self-effacing in nature. The strongest, most feminine women I know manage warmth and a pleasant disposition through even trying times, mustering a grace and charm through difficult circumstances that is the epitome of mature femininity. Neither is it martyrous self-sacrifice. It is born of a woman's deep compassion and care for the others in her life, and her desire to maintain an admirable social position. It is quite possible to be warm, pleasant-natured, and still maintain strong hand in the relationship. <br />
<br />
A woman communicates her warmth in part through her level of attention: eye contact, verbal cues, appropriate questions, understanding of the social context, etc. And it is not just a good idea to pursue this test for the prospect of a peaceful marriage, it can also indicate the strength and stability of your union. And therefore its durability.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFnPEoY4KuHaQ3_t98l0Qcbvj93hwxvsiZ4pequN318GHfCY5hjuZIQpqo_-BQuEFDMyew4PwxUvOYTQoIkNv-4BOduEtD1dSWkFN7iyoUDChoPZ8ehH6BYXUZTOzZIrYGQUbmdHCWwtDh/s1600/02.+Schaeffing,+Jim+-+A+Passing+Storm,+Magazine+Illustration,+c.1950.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFnPEoY4KuHaQ3_t98l0Qcbvj93hwxvsiZ4pequN318GHfCY5hjuZIQpqo_-BQuEFDMyew4PwxUvOYTQoIkNv-4BOduEtD1dSWkFN7iyoUDChoPZ8ehH6BYXUZTOzZIrYGQUbmdHCWwtDh/s1600/02.+Schaeffing,+Jim+-+A+Passing+Storm,+Magazine+Illustration,+c.1950.jpg" height="320" width="244" /></a>The JFG posting points out a fascinating study in which men and women in relationships were observed making verbal and non-verbal "bids" for attention and intimacy. Those partners whose "bids" were answered with a corresponding acceptance of intimacy or interaction tended to do better as long-term prospects for marriage. Couples who ended up divorced after 5 years had a bid ratio of less than 40%, whereas couples who seemed to have solid, stable relationships tended to answer each others' bids more than 80%. How accurate was the theoretical prediction of a couple's success in a LTR - that is, not get divorced? How about 94% accurate?<br />
<br />
The study demonstrates just how important warmth and pleasant disposition really are in a Red Pill marriage. Women who can cultivate their personal warmth are making themselves more receptive to their husband's bids. While some of those bids are going to be sexual in nature, inevitably, women who have warmth are likely to return the bid with a counter-bid or at least an acknowledgement that can often soothe her partner's desires for intimacy and validation without any panties coming off. Women who lack warmth won't bother to look up when their men give a casual interpersonal bid on a favorite activity for him that bores the hell out of her. Women who lack a pleasant disposition often won't answer a bid for attention that doesn't immediately gratify them in some way. <br />
<br />
So how do you determine a woman's warmth and disposition? <b>You count it.</b> Just like in the study.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0CSYaFllOmbI5ReqZA3_qPcp48fXg_HfYUchsHOob7WobPulkwP2A6m56ZoRTSV1aIfxdYhWF8ldEL4SZeLn_dT8S_qxKD53KoXy2w3UB_VlD5IqgELcsnw8JOSVRvWf_rGpl8CtHEmL8/s1600/tumblr_l5o2hzSYkP1qcz6gno1_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0CSYaFllOmbI5ReqZA3_qPcp48fXg_HfYUchsHOob7WobPulkwP2A6m56ZoRTSV1aIfxdYhWF8ldEL4SZeLn_dT8S_qxKD53KoXy2w3UB_VlD5IqgELcsnw8JOSVRvWf_rGpl8CtHEmL8/s1600/tumblr_l5o2hzSYkP1qcz6gno1_1280.jpg" height="320" width="247" /></a><br />
Carefully observe your interactions with your candidate woman over a period of, say, two hours of alone-time. Mentally track the number of interpersonal "bids" you offer her, as well as the nature and degree of her response. Try to work in a set number of bids for the period: ten, twenty, or twenty-five. They don't have to be all that involved - "look at that cool car!" or "what do you think of my new boss?" or "I'm feeling like Mexican for lunch" are all decent bids. Try to keep them somewhat neutral, not inviting either a summary dismissal or lengthy response. Just simple, straightforward conversational invitations.<br />
<br />
For each bid, observe how she reacts. Eye contact, verbal acknowledgement, open validation, or at least rapt attention (with her body language clearly turned toward you) are all "wins" of your bid. Noncommittal grunts, blank stares at her cell phone, inattention and stony silence are all "lost" bids, as are bids that fail because of her closed or turned-away body language. Insulting, vulgar or degrading language subtracts a point.<br />
<br />
Don't let your reaction to her answers color how you offer the bids. Nor should you allow one poor performance be the sole determiner of a woman's warmth and pleasant disposition. Try this several times and keep track of her averages.<br />
<br />
As far as scoring, simply give her a point for every "win" and no points for a lost bid. Within a two-hour time period, if she responds positively to fifteen of the bids and negatively to ten others, you can assign her a Warmth and Receptive score of 60%. If she responds positively to 20, then she's starting to move into the Warm category. But that's why you repeat: everyone has bad days. The problem is when those bad days start piling up, and that warmth you once felt from her keeps falling. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq5ln4mPtewYZj0-0jM0gWm0t4yvyIDtVE-J_MqGf-GWYoV3djgGIyCqgG1MauTcHpV6-YVa0Vmm4WTx5M9cZGiJwDjFtUpCStCia5V-Axou7hx-jUSItVa4v6AvBI6QdLDUpfgMlGX0RH/s1600/robert-meyers-the-artless-heiress-2-saturday-evening-post-men-at-the-top-june-1-1957-pg-17.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq5ln4mPtewYZj0-0jM0gWm0t4yvyIDtVE-J_MqGf-GWYoV3djgGIyCqgG1MauTcHpV6-YVa0Vmm4WTx5M9cZGiJwDjFtUpCStCia5V-Axou7hx-jUSItVa4v6AvBI6QdLDUpfgMlGX0RH/s1600/robert-meyers-the-artless-heiress-2-saturday-evening-post-men-at-the-top-june-1-1957-pg-17.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a>Likewise you can test how pleasant her disposition is by observing her reaction to unfortunate news. Women who make every misfortune (whether it happens to them or not) into a tragic crisis worthy of a blow-up are failing the "pleasant disposition" test. So are those who ride the emotional waves of other people's baggage. The willingness and ability to consciously be receptive to negative stimuli and provide positivity in return is the essence of "pleasant disposition" - and it doesn't mean a woman is an ineffective communicator or leader by doing so. On the contrary, the very best women leaders I've known and followed have excelled at being pleasant, no matter the circumstances. <br />
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Consider her scores in a variety of situations, too. Observation of her warmth with others gives you perspective into her character. See how warm and pleasant she is in a formal setting, a casual setting, a semi-formal setting, with your kin and your friends, and among complete strangers as well as her score in your private interactions. Every time she responds openly and receptively, she gets a point. Every time she ignores or snubs a conversational bid for no good reason that you can see, no point. Every time she says something insulting or derogatory about someone, subtract a point (unless it's someone you don't like, in which case praise her for her keen insight.).<br />
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Again, this test is highly subjective, but it allows your direct observations of her behavior to influence your decision to commit to a relationship, not a "feeling" or "just knowing". A warm, pleasant wife leads to a happy, pleasant life. Thinking you can transform a cold shrew into a friendly, receptive mate is most often an exercise in futility. And if it takes her a few drinks to really "warm up", that, too, is telling. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRQHPG8irSHmuiaDwtM19dWvmZeC0YKlfihxw6vnZVxVgt7Jv4clBb6LJt0wAamMsoV8y87qdb4D3CJXHUQYJk3WAujFE-zBXDEtUvRqjYdcNocCJdpoLl4q56ij85DoS18LRL4RDtAQSv/s1600/max51bch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRQHPG8irSHmuiaDwtM19dWvmZeC0YKlfihxw6vnZVxVgt7Jv4clBb6LJt0wAamMsoV8y87qdb4D3CJXHUQYJk3WAujFE-zBXDEtUvRqjYdcNocCJdpoLl4q56ij85DoS18LRL4RDtAQSv/s1600/max51bch.jpg" height="269" width="320" /></a>This exercise is helpful for gauging your own interactions as well. Most men aren't conscious of the cues and bids women constantly offer them in their non-verbal, contextual multi-track communication style. We prefer the more direct and simplistic single-signal communication styles that develop between men. But being mindful of her body language and linguistic mannerisms makes you more sharply attuned to when she's offering subconscious commentary on her mental-emotional state, <i>including her current level of attraction to you.</i> If she's been warm and open to you all afternoon, and you know sex could be on the table, then when she offers a bid for sexual intimacy maybe you won't miss it the first few times around. <br />
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It also makes you aware of your <i>own</i> responsiveness. While male dominance is the preferred remedy under the Red Pill, remember that that doesn't mean <i>domineering.</i> A good captain is always receptive to constructive input from the crew, particularly his First Officer, and giving proper attention to sincerely-delivered bids from her helps deepen her own attachment and attraction to you. Grunting might be manly and Alpha, but subtle transactions of attention work in<i> both</i> directions. Acknowledging her bids and participating in what seems like mindless, pointless discussion is actually re-affirming and validating your interpersonal attachment to each other. This exercise will help hone your ability to be responsive to her perspectives, even if you don't agree with them, and make her feel more secure in the strength of your interpersonal bond - without demanding control of the relationship. <br />
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It's quite possible to maintain hand and take a strong leadership position and still accept enough of your wife's bids so that she feels the flow of emotional intimacy, even when you're being strong and silent. Indeed, compounding the two tends to work very well. <b>Mastering the art of responding to those bids is the responsibility of both parties</b>, but the importance of this cannot be understated:<br />
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“There’s a habit of mind that the masters have,” Gottman explained in an interview, “which is this: they are scanning social environment for things they can appreciate and say thank you for. They are building this culture of respect and appreciation very purposefully. Disasters are scanning the social environment for partners’ mistakes.”</blockquote>
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Contempt is the number one factor that tears couples apart. “It’s not just scanning environment,” chimed in Julie Gottman. “It’s scanning the <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: normal; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">partner</span> for what the <span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: normal; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">partner</span> is doing right or scanning him for what he’s doing wrong and criticizing versus respecting him and expressing appreciation.”</blockquote>
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Take a good, hard look at your potential bride, Gentlemen, and give her an honest, sincere examination of her warmth and disposition . . . and thereby her receptivity. <span style="background-color: transparent;">Warmth and a pleasant disposition: two essentials for any lasting Red Pill wife, and both springing from the feminine fountain of</span><span style="background-color: transparent;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">receptivity.</span><span style="background-color: transparent;"><b style="font-style: italic;"> </b>If she can't or wont accept your bids (or you hers) at least 80% of the time, it's probably not a good match.</span></div>
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Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-73493680547699122302014-06-06T12:15:00.000-04:002014-06-06T12:15:03.565-04:00Pre-Father's Day Poster ProjectJust for kicks, consider copying and posting a few of these where you think they might do the most good. Then stand back and innocuously watch the reactions of the folks who read them. Heck, if you see someone really start to get steamed, record it for posterity. I think it would be outstanding to see these spring up all over the place, where you least suspect them, all Summer long . . . but especially by Father's Day.<br />
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Any other suggestions? Special thanks to the Flying Monkey Squad!<br />
<br />Ian Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.com9