Monday, May 19, 2014

Red Pill Marriage: The Art Of Sex

As most of you already know, I like art.  Sexy art.  Chances are, so do you, or you wouldn't be here.


But when was the last time you actually devoted time to indulging in that?  With your spouse?

I get a lot of emails from frustrated husbands attempting to break their Beta habits and bring some real Alpha back into their marriages.  After working on becoming more dominant, personally, fixing some of the structural issues in their marriages, and learning some elementary Married Game, a lot of dudes get . . . stuck.  They run through the introductory elements of Game fairly quickly, even get some good results, but then . . . they start to run out of ideas.

One vital aspect of keeping your Red Pill marriage going is cultivating a healthy sexuality.  That doesn't just mean pounding the missus into oblivion at will, it means nurturing your own sexuality, learning and understanding your wife's personal sexuality, and then encouraging the positive growth of the marriage's sexuality.  While that might seem to be a lot of pressure, it's actually just good old-fashioned relationship maintenance.

Recently, Mrs. Ironwood and I took a weekend vacation to the Appalachians, renting an adorable tiny cabin just outside of Asheville, NC, complete with stunning view, absolute privacy, and a hot tub on the porch.  Celebrating a thoroughly Appalachian Spring in a thoroughly and lustfully pagan fashion is an established ritual for us, and these "pagan rites" weekends are vital to the health of our relationship (as well as the subject of a forthcoming post).

But while we were in our mountain cabin, we eschewed the standard electronic entertainments available (wifi, satellite TV, DVD) in favor of our own private erotic art show.  In fact, we turned it into a game with deliciously surprising results.

Here's what you do: select one or more of the following VERY NSFW tumblr sites featuring erotic art - and I've tried to include everything from the extremely tasteful to the outrageously tasteless, for reasons that will become apparent.  Find one that you think will suit both of your sensibilities.

Then give her a set time to look through the site and download, to a special file, any of the pictures she feels
are particularly sexually exciting.  Have her pick a set number (we did 100) and then it's your turn.  You go through and do the same thing, saving them in a different file.

At an appropriate time (as foreplay or afterplay), have her pull up her file and play it as a slideshow.  Comment on what commonalities you see in her selections, and don't be afraid to ask her WHY she likes a particular piece.  "I dunno, I just think it's kinda sexy" is an acceptable answer.

A couple of ground rules:

1. Don't judge.  If you find something that's objectionable to your sexuality, that's not a sign of incompatibility . . . it's valuable intelligence on the sorts of things that get your woman off.  While it might not be YOUR thing, it's part of HER thing, and even if you don't want to necessarily participate.

2. Don't criticize.  If you like something and she does, or vice versa, chalk it up to a healthy difference in perspective and move on.

3. Don't obsess.  If she adds a picture of a heavy bondage fantasy, don't assume that she wants to be woken
up in shackles one morning.  This exercise is an attempt to explore each other's fantasies, not look for reasons to be pissed off or nervous.  Take everything you see with a grain of salt.  This is fun, not homework.

4. Discuss.  Talk about the commonalities, the differences, and the multitude of ideas that erotic art can inspire.  This isn't mere porn - this is Art.  While it is, technically, designed to inspire an erotic response, it's also supposed to inspire other emotions and feelings.  Discuss those, too, not just what makes you horny.

5. Get some!  If you and your spouse do discover a few pieces you have in common, consider having them professionally printed, matted, and framed for your bedroom or snuggery.  Every marital bedroom should have some tasteful erotic art - this is a way for you to discover some in common.

The Sites:





SFW: Oldcarguy41  (where I got most of my "good stuff" for the blog!)







Remember, you may find some of these images shocking.  In fact, if you don't, perhaps you should consider professional help.  The truth is most of what you see won't appeal to you, but the point is to find what does, and what appeals to your spouse, as well.  Appreciate the differences even as you enjoy the commonalities . . . and realize that a healthy sexuality takes a lifetime of careful cultivation.

Enjoy!


5 comments:

  1. How do you go about doing this with a wife who thinks anything like that is a sign of mental depravity and that you aren't fit to be around your own children? In the UK the climate is that ANYTHING even vaguely porn-ish is a threat to society, and a lot of people buy into it. When your wife hits the roof and decides you're a menace to women and children,what's your fallback position?

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  2. Start with the Oldcarguy's stuff - it's all 1950s and 1960s vintage, sexy but non-explicit.

    But it sounds like your main problem is in wife selection. If your wife truly thinks that, then you need to do some remedial Red Pill work to break her out of that anti-sex mode.

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  3. I think mental stim from porn would help but my guy's had porn issues in past, dare I saw addiction so introducing it seems like minefield. Any tips?

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  4. Don't be afraid of the porn. Ignoring masculine sexuality doesn't work - embracing it does. Without the novelty of new sexual situations, over time anyone will seek new stimulation. The secret is to participate and be aware of the situation and work together to introduce novelty like porn or erotic art or pole dancing into the relationship. If he's getting it good and regular, then the times he slips off to watch and wank on his own will be far fewer.

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    Replies
    1. Great article Ian and thanks for the links. I actually introduced my girlfriend to old school burlesque. It's a fun thing to attend together and now she's friends with some of the dancers and is contemplating taking lessons herself.

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