Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Breaking Beta: Ending Female Social Entitlement

Feminism has made a lot of "male sexual entitlement", the demon responsible for everything from catcalling and beer commercials to sex trafficking, according to the Cathedral.  Indeed, the feminist attack on male sexuality stems from its constant battle with "male sexual entitlement"; the feminist theory goes that if a man feels that he has a decent shot at having sex with a woman under nearly any normal circumstances, he's actually oppressing her with his patriarchal entitlement to her body, or something like that.




Because feminism can't wrap it's frizzy little head around the concept that the male desire for sex - which crosses all sexual preferences in our sex - is such a powerful force in our lives that we would willingly give up, say, a fulfilling platonic relationship with a woman if there wasn't a sexual component.  Despite the propaganda about gender equality, when it comes to dating and mating, feminism still jealously guards the female imperative to control sex in the SMP.  Feminism feels assured that if it shames and browbeats enough men, they will cease pitting women against each other in competition for the highly-valued mates ("Alphas", though they never use the term) and allow feminine society to determine which women should end up with which men and for how long.

Of course that's ludicrous, for many different reasons, but that's the feminist M.O. on mating: male sexual entitlement (male sexuality) is BAD, while female social entitlement ("Let's just be friends", or LJBF) is seen as some gracious gift nearly as valuable as the one she keeps between her legs.

Female Social Entitlement is the ugly dark side of the feminist equation.  You won't find it spelled out specifically in the literature, exactly, but it implicitly enshrines the AF/BB concept as an institution, when accepted.  And this, not coincidentally, is where many poor Beta boys start the inevitable downward spiral.

When a woman rejects a man, but doesn't want to lose access or support she can casually pick up from him at no personal cost to herself, using LJBF is a way her Rationalization Hamster can assuage her guilt for rejecting a dude who, on paper, is a Perfectly Decent Guy.  It's not that she dislikes the Beta Boy - she just has no tingles for him, and her hypergamous instinct tells her to shelve such a pristine dude for later, when her sexual capital starts to wane.

By attempting to make a social connection with an undesired male permanent with a LJBF, the woman is staking a kind of claim on his time and energy that she does not necessarily deserve . . . but she rationalizes it through her sense of social entitlement.  Why wouldn't a decent man want to be her friend, after all?  Why would he allow base sexuality to come between him and what she just knows in her heart is a fulfilling future of platonic social interaction?  Why wouldn't he want to introduce her to his circle of handsome and successful friends?  Is he that threatened by her?

Heh.

That's what Female Social Entitlement is: the expectation of an alliance based on an unreciprocated sexual interest.  It's a shit-test of the highest order, and women know it.  Indeed, to her mind, rejecting a LJBF shit-test is both a criticism of her worthiness and - as a result - her hamster must reconcile such a rejection with her own sense of self-worth (usually hyperinflated) by denigrating the male who dared reject her gracious offer of friendship.

But for the Blue Pill Beta Chump, LJBF is an insidious trap.  Not seeing it as the shit-test it is, they blindly stumble into the heart of female social expectation with their dick in their hands and end up frustrated, angry, and resentful.  If they do stick around long enough to witness the woman's unceremonious and inevitable impact with the Wall, they might just pick her up in a moment of weakness . . . still seeing her for the highly-valued potential she once had, not the last dregs of her sexuality she's reserving for him . . . or whatever Alpha she can scare up one last time.

Women who use the LJBF rejection don't understand the implied humiliation they are heaping on the recipient - they see their friendship as a valued consolation prize, perhaps ultimately more valuable than their own sexuality.  Friendship, to women, implies an alliance . . . with other women.  With men, it's decidedly a one-way street.  Of what value does a platonic female friend have for a dude?  Unless she's actively trying to get him laid, she's represents a waste of resources unlikely to pay any significant dividends.  She will expect her orbiting chumps to help her move, help her with work or school, bail her out of jail or trouble, come to her defense, and even loan her money without any sexual expectation because the concept of "friendship" varies so differently between men and women.
Yet if you attempt to challenge a woman on this, in most cases she will become rightously offended.  If of a feminist bent, she will attempt to shame you for your inability or unwillingness to control your sexual desires, degrade you for being shallow, and otherwise respond more or less as she would for rejecting any other shit test.

I've seen a number of adept players spin LJBF into something more productive, but it takes iron-clad holding of Frame and a cultivated insensitivity to female feelz.  The acknowleged master in my day was a pre-law Duke student named Trevor, who was the kind of short, aggressively-Alpha dude who made up for a lack of looks and build by utterly dominating Game.

When Trevor would hear LJBF, he'd get a concerned look on his face.  He could play it a couple of different ways, but usually the conversation went something like this:

SHE: "Look, I really like you, you're a great guy, but I don't want to be in a relationship right now.  Can't we just be friends?"

TREV: "My friends help me get laid.  Are you going to do that?"

SHE: "I beg your pardon?"

TREV: "I'm highly selective about the women I sleep with, and I'm even more selective about the people in my circle I call my friends.  They have one thing in common: they all are actively trying to get me laid."

SHE: "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!"

TREV: "True nonetheless.  They find it a rewarding pursuit - I can be a very, very good friend, (This was true - Trevor was highly appreciative if you found him a promising lead).  But if you aren't working in my best interest, you're not really my friend, are you?"

SHE: (Confused) "Uh, I guess so . . ."

TREV: "I mean, if you're my friend, are you going to introduce me to your slutty good-looking girlfriends?"

SHE: "No!  I mean, yes!  Maybe!  I . . ."

TREV: "See how conflicted you are about that?  Suddenly you're my friend, and you've promised to try to get me laid.  But you don't really want to let me screw your slutty friends.  Where does that leave us?  You keeping me from hitting on your friends?  The only reason to do that is if you want me yourself."

SHE: "You wouldn't really hit on my friends . . ." (preparing for another shit-test, now that she realizes that Trev is not your AFC)

TREV: "Honey, I'd fuck your two best friends on your bed while you watch, just ask any of my friends.  I'm in this to get laid, and either you're with me or against me." (it was the 1990s . . . I actually heard him use the line "if you don't blow me in the parking lot, the terrorists win" successfully once).

SHE: "That's so . . . crude!  Why can't we just be friends?"

TREV: "I've told you why, darlin'.  My friends look out for my pecker.  That's their defining characteristic.  Now if you want to be my friend, that's what you're signing up for.  Conversely, if you want to look out for my pecker by yourself, well, I'm open to that possibility as well."


And on and on it went.  By steadfastly holding Frame and denying the legitimacy of her Female Social Entitlement, he could turn a LJBF into a fast close in the space of three minutes.

Not everyone is so masterful.  Trev is now a very successful patent attorney, and he had natural charisma the way Sinatra had pipes.  But there are some strong lessons to be pulled from his Game.

First, of course, is that LJBF is a bona fide shit-test under any circumstances.  If you accept it, you lose.

Second, women have a natural feeling of entitlement to your friendship, alliance, and good will based entirely upon your sexual attraction to them (and their lackluster assessment of you as a mate).  This is not a bad-faith move, as it appears, it's just the residue of feminine hypergamy at work.  Stacking up a few orbitors is good insurance for BB later on down the road, post-Wall.  But if you don't want to be BB, then you have to disabuse them of the notion that your friendship - which serves as a diminished form of your commitment to her - is free for the asking.

What that does, in effect, is to de-value your own friendship while inflating the value of her sexuality.  She does not really mean to be a supportive friend, and you both know it.  But that does not mean that she will not impose on that friendship, if she has the need and opportunity, and you both know it.  It also means that her sexuality is more-or-less permanently off the table, regardless of your feelings on the matter.  And you both know it.

Beta chumps will get suckered on this play.  Alphas won't.  They don't cooperate with Female Social Entitlement any more than a feminist cooperates with Male Sexual Entitlement (unless he's really cute or has a motorcycle or something).  An Alpha will shut that shit down the moment it comes up.

A Beta aspiring to break the vicious, ugly cycle of LJBF often discovers that rejecting a woman's Female Social Entitlement - and dealing with the resulting ugly consequences of her hamstering - is often the first step on the road to breaking his Beta.  By valuing your interpersonal relationships and actual friendships as much as a woman values the sexual power of her vagina, you establish hand in any relationship you indulge in.  Keeping the idea of "female friends" as a capitulation to Female Social Entitlement, and a genuine disservices to the interests of the man in question, is vital to cultivating the masculine mindset that keeps your Game fresh and effective.

There are ways to use the "LJBF" cynically, of course.  Agreeing, ala BB, to "just be friends" and then using that friendship to get close to her own circle of female friends is one way to go about it.  I've seen a hardened player go through three or four girls in the same social circle by trading on the "Oh, I'm good friends with Julie, but she's not into the same sorts of kinks I am" line and make it pay off handsomely.  Of course, he left a trail of broken hearts and bruised hamsters behind, but that's the nature of the beast.

Lastly, for those of you genuinely offended by the idea that a man and a woman can't "just be friends", your idealism does you credit . . . but it's going to damage your social life.  The painful LJBF meme is openly acknowledged on both sides of the ideological spectrum, although the perspectives on it are different.  Feminism and its allies want you to believe that men are secretly noble and good and can "control their sexuality" enough to be decent to women without their sexuality becoming an issue, but that nobility is hidden under a thick layer of culturally-derived and artificial baggage about "gender norms" and stereotypes.

The Red Pill, on the other hand, acknowledges that men are sexual creatures whose primary goal in life is expressing that sexuality with as many women as he comfortably can - and that sexually non-productive relationships are an unnecessary drain on his resources.

Now the more Beta Boys we can get to recognize the reality of the latter, and start answering LJBF with the acid it deserves, the better.

29 comments:

  1. Using LJBF to co-opt her social matrix and then use the pre-selection boost? That's coldly brilliant.

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    Replies
    1. Except that in this case I don't find her friends attractive. Not that she has that many. Which in itself says something.

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  2. Isn't it, though? Alphas don't play.

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  3. 'Plate, or wing girl - otherwise GTFO'.

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  4. Anyway, this post maybe a mix of me shouting out 'IM NOT LIKE THE WOMEN YOU TALK ABOUT!!'. Therefore my ego is now caressed.
    But it is also there to give any readers an example of how you as a lady you should use the ljbf situation. I understand that these two guys tried and failed to get me as a gf. I like having them around and I recognise their 'flaws' so I am actively trying to help them. I know they both wanna get laid and they freaking deserve it. If they called me up asking advice about a chick, Im there straight away. Thats my purpose.
    I have about 4 other dudes whom have all tried to get with me as well. I wouldn't describe them as beta types on the level these guys I've mentioned already are. One was a mate who tried to sleep with me often and I resisted until a drunken attempt that didn't go anywhere. He wanted me as a casual fling and I just wanted to concentrate on opps that were going to turn into a ltr and I knew he wouldn't. We stayed in touch and now im his confident about everything GF related. I have a similar relationship with 3 others who also tried to ONS or casual fling me. I enjoy it.

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  5. oh no that last comment was a continuation of my first comment, wheres my first comment???? boooo

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  6. So what exactly do they think we will do as friends. Lets see, what do I do with the guys
    Play basketball or shinny
    Commiserate the Leafs' latest choke
    Go fishing hunting hiking season depending
    Eat the four food groups:pizza, burgers, steak and ribs
    Heckle and talk smack to each other.
    Yes I can see a cosmo or huffpo girl here.

    Thier idea of friends is to what, come over and
    Cut the lawn/shovel snow
    Fix her car
    Fix the window, pipes, wiring, etc.
    Watch romcons

    Hey fine if she in return
    Does my laundry
    Vacums and dusts
    Cooks a potroast with the trimmings
    Cleans the bathroom.

    Then LJBF has value, an exchange of favours non sexual each to their own value.

    Otherwise if I don't want to seduce you and you don't want to be one of the guys why do I want you??

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  7. I see several ways to get to the friend zone:

    1. you were friends in elementary school: she reached puberty first, and you are forever a little boy in her eyes.[Hopeless to get her; but she may intorduce her to your friends and provide social proof.]

    2. Pure beta bucks; I've heard women say they were dating a guy just because of the money he spent on them. [Chances nil; and no help with other women except incidental social proof.]

    3. She never dated you, buit you are part of her social group. [No chance; limited social proof - not an axe murderer]

    4. Alpha (although you may not realize it) who she hopes to lay. [Guarantee if you realize it, but if you know you're alpha your just stringing her alon in case of a drought; if you don't know you're alpha will soon be case 5]

    5. She sees you as alpha, but has given up (almost) all hope of getting you. [Hard to get past auto-rejection]

    Admit that NattyKadifa suggest some other possibilities; I've been 4 and 5; seen 1 and heard about 2 from the roomate of my GF.

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  8. Great thoughts. Although I tend to think feelings of entitlement are not necessary from either side. Sure it happens, but IMO often the girl and the guy just don't know how the other person thinks. Say the guy tries the "be friends first" tactic of seduction (can't blame him, as that's what he hears girls want). When he suddenly reveals that he has a sexuality, the girl might think he faked a whole friendship to get in her pants. It can feel like a bait and switch, unless she assumes his feelings arose during the friendship. Or maybe she'll feel he never cared for her as a person. Being hurt or angry when your friendship is thrown back at you is not a sign of entitlement.

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  9. I no longer accept friendships with women. I can have a warm acquaintance with women who are attached to my male friends and be cordial, but they are not my friends.

    I have never, ever had a female friend who stuck with me through the narrow passage, and every single LJBF experience I have had has resulted in her using my time, skills, and sometimes money, and giving me back nothing but the pleasure of her company, but not sex.

    I remember the first time I rejected LJBF. I didn't burn her or anything. When she got to the "cherish your friendship" hug, I let her hug it out and then walked away. We haven't spoken since.

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  10. Ian, your anecdotes have all the credibility of a Dear Prudence article. They're laughably bad fiction.

    ReplyDelete
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  12. If only this information had been available to me or explained to me several years ago. After the break up of my long term relationship I entered into platonic friendships with a number of women ie. I was 'friend zoned'. But I was still handy to have about to listen to their boyfriend problems, drive them about because they had been drinking, look after their children, act as a stand in father for them and their children on overseas holidays, do gardening and move heavy furniture etc etc. In other words my easy going nature got the better of me and they took advantage of it. It truly is a dead end for men to be in such a relationship. In hindsight I would advise all men, and young men in particular, to stay away from platonic friendships with women. You won't get the girl in the end and she will benefit from you doing things that a boyfriend/husband would be reasonably expected to do ie. furniture moving, unpaid bodyguard etc. But a boyfriend/husband gets to sleep with her, and you don't. All you get is the pleasure of her company. Chances are that she thinks she is fabulous and her presence in your life as a friend is payment enough. Walk away if this happens to you. That is what I am doing now, years overdue. Thank you for this article, if only I knew this stuff years ago I would not have undergone the emotional and financial distress that these women have caused me.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, keep spreading the word. I learned how cruel and heartless women can be at the age of 16. There are a few male friends I know that did not understand "LJBF". I told them what it means and what they need to do: Cross her name from your address book and walk away. If they call, you are busy. Don't ever speak to her again, don't waste one second of your time on her.

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    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  13. Succinctly stated, women have girlfriends and boyfriends. If you're not having sex with her, you're the former.

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  14. How about we don't answer her at all? The explanation alone wastes our time.

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  15. 'Lastly, for those of you genuinely offended by the idea that a man and a woman can't "just be friends", your idealism does you credit . . . but it's going to damage your social life.'

    Ouch.

    Ian, you just cut me and rubbed salt in the wound. That was a difficult thing to read and digest. And you know what? It's true. If Ian gave my head a good hard thump, I had it coming, and I'll thank him for it, when the pounding recedes.

    Pay attention, guys. The "Friend Zone" is a prison with invisible bars. The good news is, you can decide to release yourself whenever you like. Usually after you stop gagging on the Red Pill.

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  16. A woman desiring to keep you in the friendzone has to compete with all the other people who would like to be your friends, namely all of your male friends. In many cases a comparison to your other friends on a platonic levels leaves finds the woman in question wanting (Her default advantage being the romantic interest she does not reciprocate).

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  17. Love this post as many of your others.

    I feel like the angle of using the guy was not overemphasized enough.

    A chick who says LJBF almost never means: Let's hang out at the same events. I'll call you when I have one, you do the same. I'll hook you up with my girlfriends. Let's email/call & talk mutual interests wherever they lie. I honestly dig the hell out of you as a person, but the tinglolz just aren't in ladytown.

    There should be more blown-out on how she's going to use a LJBF, even if it's something as innocuous as a chaperone/social-crutch.

    And if you're improving yourself enough to the point it affects your social calendar, just as many have intimated, you may end up having high standards for someone occupying your time and what they would offer in-return.

    Love this blog. Keep on Rockin'

    -Ronin

    ReplyDelete
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