However, things have changed in the last few months. Thanks to some you-wouldn't-believe-it-if-it-didn't happen-to-you events, Mrs. Ironwood and I have been devoting our "abundant free time" to a special project.
We've been fighting crime.
No, really. The long and short of it is (and about all our lawyers will let us say at this point) is that back in late February, my 13 year old son was abducted by his 23 year old female teacher. He was safely returned, and was unmolested, but the consequences for my entire family have been fairly profound. The loss of trust and the loss of security was devastating, and we're still dealing with the aftermath. If you recall my PLEASE STAND BY post in late February, that was due to the immediate aftermath of the event, and the "Demon's Run" post dealt with the first of several confrontations with various legal and official authorities.
While that battle rages on, another issue was dropped on our doorstep. The Niece who has lived with us for over a year and acted as our nanny at Stately Ironwood Manor fell in love with a worthless boyfriend with an addiction to that faux canniboid mixture known as "Spice".
Spice is EVIL.
Unlike the fairly benevolent weed cannabis, Spice is essentially some mildly euphoric herbal base like Marshmallow Leaf or Damiana . . . sprayed or soaked in a number of organic solvents and caustic chemicals. Touted as being "legal" (it's not - most jurisdictions don't have specific laws making it illegal, but the FDA has - so yeah, it's illegal at the Federal level, but most people don't know this and feel helpless to keep it out of their communities.)and sold as "incense", labeled "not for human consumption" (the Spice industry's equivalent of "For Novelty Purposes Only" or "For The Prevention Of Disease Only") Spice has become extremely popular in middle schools and high schools because of its lack of regulation and how easy it is to get.
The problem is, unlike pot, Spice (sold under a variety of brand names including BIZZARO and Neutronium) is not only easy for them to get, it's also HIGHLY addictive. Like crystal-meth/heroin/ levels of addiction, plus a violent change in personality that can resemble schizophrenia. Violent schizophrenia. Some kids smoke Spice once . . . and just never come back.
My Niece's boyfriend got her and a number of other girls to steal for him from their families and friends to support his Spice habit - and of course he got them hooked too. In just a few months my Niece dropped out of college and began exhibiting all sorts of other classic addict behaviors. And then our stuff started going missing. I'm still pursuing the matter . . . and him.
Since then, Mrs. I and I have been collecting data on local Spice vendors, using our Niece (who is in rehab for it at the moment) to inform on her ex-boyfriend's MO and dealers, and we've turned that information over to local law-enforcement, along with the applicable FDA statutes and potential charges. Believe me, ask anyone in your local law-enforcement agency about Spice, and they'll be happy to tell you what they've seen.
To quote one cop I've spoken to, "If you catch your kid with Spice just once, go find a way to buy them a big bag of weed. Kids on weed go to the convenience store at 3:00 am with the munchies. Kids on Spice go to the convenience store at 3:00 am with a pistol. Weed makes you unambitious. Spice makes you viciously ambitious in a very negative way."
Spice can destroy you. It essentially "embalms" your lungs, producing a nasty and distinctive hacking cough, it eats holes in various parts of your brain, and it often leads to seizures and violent psychotic episodes. If there was ever a case to be made for legalizing pot, Spice makes it.
Why am I bringing all of this up? Because as the Mrs. and I have been hacking our way through this (and I've been trying to hack my way through getting the Manosphere book out) it has occurred to us, over and over, that in interviewing all the teens we have who are addicted to Spice, in just about every case the kid lacked a strong, compelling father figure. In many cases these kids were raised by grandparents or single moms who just didn't know or didn't have time to watch and supervise their kids adequately . . . and then their jewelry goes missing, and all the Christmas presents she got her kid are in a pawn shop somewhere and their little girl is having inexplicable seizures at school.
The lack of strong, involved fathers contributed to this problem. When feminism threw down the Patriarchy, they also threw down the moral authority of paternalism with it, allowing the next several generations of kids to be, as a culture, Fatherless. Paternal authority is unlike Maternal authority. Maternal authority can get you to clean your room out of guilt and do your homework. Paternal authority tells you to stop seeing that boy if you value his life. When we lost the Paternal authority of the Patriarchy in this culture, we also lost its ability to order and regulate our social affairs and expectations.
With the erosion of "patriarchal", traditionally-male values like Family (as opposed to individualism), Duty (as opposed to irresponsibility) and Honor (as opposed to entitlement) feminism broke the shield that once protected our children from such things as Spice and abduction and tried to replace it with Social Workers, Diversity Training, and "Self-Esteem" lessons.
And I've fucking had enough of seeing our kids' lives get wasted because of such things. My son told me instantly when he got home what his teacher did, because he knew he could trust me and trust me to do the right thing, whatever that was. I'd like to think I haven't let him down on this. Four months into his crisis, we're still grinding away at the various bureaucracies to see justice done, accountability accorded, and our children protected. It hasn't been easy, and it's far from over, but he's watching me give it everything I've got, so even if we lose, in the end I've won . . . and so has he . . . just by not giving up.
As we men collectively face the social horror of the 21st century, therefore, it occurs to me that the re-establishment of those sorts of masculine values can only be affected if we re-found the Patriarchy.
Not the way it was - the pre-Industrial patriarchy won't work anymore, and the post-Industrial model got crippled before it really was firmly developed - but in a new way. We need "rule of the fathers" if we value our children's lives and futures . . . because the alternative is abandoning them to the whims of what feminism has wrought. And I ain't got not time for that.
We need Patriarchy 2.0.
So this Father's Day, I'm officially re-founding the Patriarchy in honor of Papa Ironwood and all the other dads who made it through the Feminist Interregnum successfully. True, most dads out there today feel unempowered and helpless against the giant bureaucracy that has evolved to keep them from influencing their own children, but that doesn't mean it can't happen. They may feel impotent in the face of domineering wives or baby-mamas who feel that they and they alone have an active say in parenting.
They are Beta dads, and it is because of their inaction and their unwillingness to stand up to their wives or the system on behalf of their children that stuff like Spice happens to our kids. Only strong fathers can provide the kind of no-nonsense direction and order a developing kid needs. Mothers compromise, seek consensus, worry about their child's feelings before the other elements of their lives. Dads Lay Down The Law. And if you are incapable of that, you need a dose of Red Pill parenting, stat.
Those men who have, by accident or intention, brought another human being into this world have made a pact with their fellow fathers whether they understand it or not. I've seen, up close and personal, what happens to a kid who is raised by just a mom, or by a strong mom and a weak dad, and the results fill our psych wards and juvenile detention centers.
Patriarchy 2.0 isn't the broad-based Patriarchy of yore; it is the quiet forging of strong bonds between all fathers, local and national, to act as a collective defense of our children. It has fuck-all to do with marriage, as the shattered landscape of our social system has amply demonstrated that marriage and fatherhood are now well-estranged, in general. Patriarchy 2.0 is smarter, leaner, and more pissed off. Patriarchy 2.0 isn't pushing for the return of the Traditional Family as much as it is striving for the survival of the families we have.
Patriarchy 2.0 is a 21st century response to the problem of child-rearing, with the understanding that the Diaper Years are, actually, the easiest for a dad to navigate. Patriarchy 2.0 implies a spirit of activism on behalf of all children, not just your own, and a willingness to ignore the "better" approach of feminism and HR departments. Patriarchy 2.0 is not opposed to MGTOW, PUAs, or any other aspect of the Manosphere. We're all just Dads, who are worried about our kids, and we need to look to each other for support and guidance because if we rely on the women in our lives to navigate such treacherous waters, then we are risking the lives of our children and abandoning our duties as fathers.
I'm not saying that Fathering is superior to Mothering, or that Dads are better parents than Moms. What I am saying is that Fathering is important to both boys and girls, and that Dads can do things, say things, and teach things to children of either gender that Moms cannot. Most Beta dads are content to back whatever their wife decides; Patriarchy 2.0 insists that Dads get to contest that decision if they don't agree with it, and will step in and take charge when they see the need. Patriarchy 2.0 says dads deal with their business, and get other dads to help if they need it. Patriarchy 2.0 says if you see a dad in trouble, you help any way you can. It may take a village to raise a child, but it takes a Father to drag their ass into maturity.
Fatherhood is a universal male value, and a universal masculine issue. Feminism has tried for years to destroy the Patriarchy by eroding or eradicating the father-son relationship, and poisoning the father-daughter relationship, the removal of family planning decisions from male hands, assorted other attacks on the very institution of fatherhood, and that's what has given us the mess we currently stand within. We can either accept it or we can fight against it. I have some ideas how to fight it, and over the next few weeks I'll be sharing some of them.
Father's Day is about honoring fathers, specifically our own, but henceforth I wish it to reflect on the debt we owe to all Fathers, in all times, in all places. Fatherhood is such a rare and special commodity, thanks to feminism, that when it does genuinely appear these days it needs to be nurtured, protected, and encouraged like a nascent flame during a storm. And like that flame, it may become the only light and heat we have in the future to get us through the storm.
To this end I am launching the Ironwood Initiative: a series of pro-active instructions and information on what dads can do to help protect their kids - and all kids - from the dangers they face, and how to bring them into manhood or womanhood successfully. Patriarchy 2.0 needs guidance, and I encourage all fathers out there to join me in giving the advice and support that all other fathers need. Patriarchy 2.0 is about Red Pill fathering, and while that's still a nascent and nebulous concept . . . it needs to be done.
And the essence of the Red Pill isn't "what can I do?", it's "what needs to be done?"
Happy Father's Day to you all. Call your dad. Ask him what he thinks. Listen. And then start approaching the entire idea of Fatherhood from a perspective of masculine strength and tenacity. Raising a kid ain't easy, but it's helpful if you have a couple of other dads around to help.
Is the school system waffling, obstructing justice, or otherwise protecting its own?
ReplyDeletePOS boyfriend addicts The Niece. Damn, that's harsh. Please kick his ass. Please do. The good part is, she's in treatment and The Law has no vested interest in protecting the POS. At least, I hope not. The Niece is your brother's child, isn't she?
I would like to be a good father, but that requires having children. In today's society, I don't see any way to accomplish that. I wish I could.
ReplyDeleteThanks Ian. As a father, my heart goes out to you and your family in this trying time. And i also agree being a full and present and strong father is a most important job.
ReplyDelete"When feminism threw down the Patriarchy, they also threw down the moral authority of paternalism with it, allowing the next several generations of kids to be, as a culture, Fatherless'"
ReplyDeleteVery well put.
How do you propose our new patriarchy deal with modernity? Some have already given up on patriarchy and identified its weaknesses in those vids:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcJeqAp-5gQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_1LC0ItqO4
Yeah, I'm smarter than that. Patriarchy 2.0 focuses on fatherhood first and foremost. Everything else descends from there.
DeleteHow are we do deal with the usurpation of the male role of protector and provider by the state?
DeleteIt seems a recurring problem in history.
Answer is: act like you have the authority anyway. We all worry too much. 90% chance you can do what you want and no one will even look at you. While you might hear a grumble from someone, you IGNORE them or say, as I have, "I am handling my child, my way. You go handle yours."
DeleteThe first rule of Dad Fight Club is do not talk about being Dad. You be him, and don't listen to busybodies who have no good info for you. I never did. Second rule is: embrace your male tendency to get MAD. Which does not mean derision or even punishment. The kid acts up, you EXPLODE. But then you show them how male anger works: it's out there, then it's gone, then you EXPLAIN why you got mad (don't apologize for it unless you were mistaken about what made you mad, then you own up to it). You play this right and there will never be a need for spanking - the kid THINKS you're crazy enough to do something bad just for a second, gets a good scare, then you dial it down. Just as effective as a discipline tool, maybe more so. Only dads can do it.
And of course, third rule: encourage SELF-CONFIDENCE - your kid's first thought should be "I can learn to do this " - rather than self esteem, which actually comes bundled with self-confidence. But also requires trying and failing until you learn.
Funny thing is, when I became a dad all of this just sprung out of nowhere. No one told me I couldn't do it. No political re-education. No book taught it to me, though I've read much on it since, but still do what I do anyway. My wife and I made a deal: she can't overrule me, and I don't overrule her when it comes to parenting decisions. We may discuss and refine later between us, but we always support each other's decisions and present a united front.
No I'm no one special and I don't deserve a trophy. My point is: ALL OF YOU CAN DO THIS TOO.
But all it takes is one call from you wife. Before the police bust down your door and put you in cuffs. How are we to deal with such a scenario
DeleteI have to say that when I see kids in the ER...addicted to almost anything (be it Spice, K2, meth, heroin, weed, alcohol, or whatever else they've gotten their hands on)...the single thread running through most of their histories is the lack of a father arriving in their room.
ReplyDeleteA mother may show up... An auntie. A grandmother or a great-grandmother. Sometimes a foster mother or a CSB worker.
It is rare, though, for a father to show up and truly take charge of his teen. The few who do arrive are usually those who are cowed by the mother who swoons over her child, threatening me and the rest of the treatment team if we haven't babied her baby properly.
Thank you.
P.S. I am so very sorry for what happened to your son. My heart aches for him and for your family.
A cab driver who often picks me home from the airport told me, his son was growing more and more disrespectful, more and more irresponsible.
ReplyDeleteHe finished with sharing, that his son was addicted to Spice (I was not even aware it was a thing. I though he was referring to some modern slang for weed or some kind of an amphetamine)
My small token advice (trying not to get too personal, since we are not friends or even acquaintances in a strict sense) was to provide some very specific consequences to the young guy's actions.
"If a person does not see consequences to his behavior, the person will consider his behavior acceptable, when it clearly is not."
P.S. My captchafor this post was "oppressive"
No, Captcha,just smart and fair.
There's a lot to fathering, but one of the things that is DEFINITELY part of it is designing consequences for our spawn. I taught my children that actions have consequences by making damn sure that their actions had consequences.
ReplyDeleteThat's totally insane stuff. Hard to believe this type of stuff can happen. Spice is on the radar now. Thanks for that.
ReplyDeleteYes, many thanks for the heads-up on spice. Keep after it. Praying for you and yours.
ReplyDeleteI love my father. He is a good man, and he and my mother have been married more than 30 years. He is very capable, and much smarter than he gives himself credit for (he considers me to be a genius. Maybe, but you're no slouch, Dad).
ReplyDeleteMore than once I've thought he gave in to Mom's wishes too easily (he's even told me that his father [also a good man] used to say "Happy wife, happy life"). But I've always found I respected him more when I saw him stand his ground. Seen that a lot more in recent years, running the family ranch that was Mom's dream. I'm glad.
I've no doubt my parents are happy, and if my younger sister needs more discipline, she does have my older sister's example to look at.
FYI that bit about male anger and the discipline of children? It WORKS. It certainly worked on me.
This is insensitive, but it needs to be said. You might want to rethink your attitude of acceptance towards the Puerarchy. It is one thing to promote their behavior when it does not touch your life. Once it hits home, reality starts to settle in. You were safe until recently, and now you, too, are being pulled in.
ReplyDeleteYou were willing to let the boy-kings run riot until they brought fire into your home. Now you want them to change. It is too late. Those lost boys are becoming as much a force of nature as the winds and tides and seasons. Did you really think they would stay contained?
I hope that you navigate the future safely, and that your niece overcomes her addiction. I also hope that your son deals with his ordeal in a healthy manner. We live in fallen times. God bless.
The Shadowed Knight
My attitude toward the Puerarchy hasn't changed despite this. The dude is free to be a Puerarch . . . but when he butts up against the Patriarchy, he's gonna get burned. I'm a Patriarch. I have power. His ass is going to jail . . . if he's lucky. If I catch him first, he's still going to jail, but he will consider that a good thing.
DeleteHe can change if he wants, or he can stay the same. I still support his right to be a fuck-tard, just not in my backyard. And no, the Puerarchy won't stay contained. The only thing that can contain them is a new fully-functional Patriarchy; until then it will be up to individual Patriarchs to protect and defend against them personally while encouraging them in general.
Your point is well-taken, but I'm not going to beta-out just because I got burned. Dude fucked up, dude will pay. Whining about his lousy upbringing won't change anything.
It might make for a smashing blog post, though.
Thanks, SK, and thanks for reading.
You are supporting his right to be a fucktard to people that you do not care about. When you get hurt, the others that you abandoned to his will are not going to care about you. Instead of supporting fucktarded behavior, shut it down--hard. He will be a good object lesson for the rest, but you would have been better served preventing his rampage than reacting to it.
DeleteDo not give the Puerarchs any legitimacy and instead, put them on notice. The lord fathers are returning, to roust the usurpers from their halls. The boy kings had their fun while we were weakened and banished from our realm. Now we are roused from the slumber imposed upon us and they can learn from us and join us, or be crushed and broken at our hands. We are coming for them, and their time is nearing its end.
I was not saying whine and mope. I was saying make an example out of him. Tear him down, beat him, and then scourge him out. Your niece was not the only one that he harmed, so make sure he gets the point--to the hilt, if need be. If you want peace, prepare for war.
The Shadowed Knight
I can';t argue with the sentiment, and yeah, a beat-down (legally, administratively, and otherwise) is in his future. I've filed the police report, he's up for at least two felonies. And all three Ironwood brothers are eager to instruct him on his social responsibilities. (My brother Sylvester, my niece's father, went out and dug a shallow grave in the woods the moment he knew he had a daughter. Saves time later.). We're prepared for war. But we can only pick up the beer cans in our path.
DeleteHe will serve as an example. He already has. I descended upon a group of his friends and laid out just what he had done to us . . . and it looks like he didn't spare them, either.
And I don't think it will surprise anyone to find out that the fucktard was home-schooled by pacifist Quakers.
That last paragraph surprises me. The home-schooled are usually better adjusted than average IF (big if) they are schooled in an intact home. And Quakers can be tougher than you'd think. "I would not harm thee for all the world, friend, but thou art standing where I am about to shoot."
DeleteOutstanding post! I will hold him while you impart your wisdom on his cranium. We all go thru various ups and downs on the rollercoaster that is life, it is not the last time something will pop up, no matter how well you raise your children. My ex-wife used to say "Your Daughter is afraid of you, you should be friendlier with her" I had to raise the "Bullshit flag" on that, her fear is from respect, and fear of disappointing her father. When some guy offered her that stuff, or anything else for that matter, she heard my voice, and her response would be "My Dad would KILL ME!" If your kids are not pissed at you 85% of the time, you are not doing your job! I have friends, and if my kid wants to be my friend, she can be, when she is in her twenties living a good life, with the lessons I taught her. When she was growing up, she thought I was an ogre, but her friends adored me, because in my eyes they were mine to guide also, and now they all thank me for being the way I am.
ReplyDeleteI guess it comes down to this: When raising children, there are things that you should not compromise on, Education, Behavior, and Integrity. Those have to be "Line in the sand" issues that you will accept no less than the best, regardless of what is popular or fair in their young eyes. One only get to be a parent for a short time and you have to do it to the best of your abilities, and push aside any fear of criticism.
My Daughter once told me she would call 911, and say I was abusing her, so I picked up the phone and dialed 9-1, and gave her the handset. "Go ahead, hit 1, If you are going to do that I want them to have something to put me in jail for" She hung up the phone fast. You have to be prepared to call their bluff and mean it.
I am retired Military and teach high school now, I could tell you stories that would blow your mind, it is so freaking ridiculous how the world is now.
One last thing, I have one punishment for girls that works every time: Take the door off of their room. You can take other things away from them and it won't matter, but take their privacy and they lose their minds. Boys don't care, but girls need it like they need air to breath, and when my Daughter saw me get the hammer, and walk toward her room, she knew she screwed up. Many times in an argument, I would just go get the hammer from a drawer, and she would relent.
Being a parent, guardian, and guide to your and others kids is one of the most important things in life, do it right!
DaSarge
I have asked my husband to check out this site, and particularly this post. My father was raised by a single mom that had too many kids and no time for any of them. My dad came out totally messed up, and never even tried to be a dad. He and my brother have been estranged for a couple of years now. My dad sent me a text on my wedding anniversary to let me know he was disowning me. I wholeheartedly support men being real fathers.
ReplyDeleteMr. Ironwood
ReplyDeleteI'm a 25 year old man, who discovered the "manosphere" several years ago, I'm in no way an expert and still learning and improving my self. I have no kids, but one day when I do I'll teach them manly values, and be a real father to them.
Right now, I have a 12 yo cousin, being raised by a single mom, with an absent father. I've seen him grow to be a complete beta, specialy when it comes to please his mother. I even can sense some anger and range inside him. Can you please point me to some of your post, or give me an idea how to help him out of it? I don't want to become a fatherly figure for him, but maybe a brother or friend who knows how to get him out of this, to show him what being a man is. Right now I havent been successful by miself to do that.
Thanks a lot. And congrats on this great and amazing blog.
okay, would you please explain to me:
ReplyDeletewhy that picture says girls without daddy issues rarely grow up to be strippers?
So this patriarchy thing doesn´t promote prostituion and strippers, and other fun places to go and e xplore male sexuality?
it´s okay for others daughters, but not yours?
Because most strippers have severe daddy issues.
DeleteAnd this "patriarchy thing" doesn't promote it, it just takes advantage of it. Kind of like how feminism "doesn't promote divorce", it just takes advantage of it.
And yes. It is okay for other daughters. My daughter won't have those kinds of daddy issues.
Hmm, you just failed to answer my question. I guess it´s just american culture to have strong opinions without being able to explain them.
ReplyDeleteSimply: Do you think prostitution is and should be something to take advantage of? Does "taking advantage of it" mean it is acceptable? Btw, if you answer yes, that just simply means you have lived a very easy life (and ofcourse you have, because a)you are able to read and write b) you have a computer, and you know how to use it and most importantly c)you have very,very,very much of free time to keep a blog like this and not use your time to really work.) All of them are sings you do not and will not ever understand the real desperation whic leads to prostitution, the human traffickig, the ugliness that comes within.
I am really glad that your daughter won´t have those issues, but that is because she is a daughter of a white, american man. It is not a result of your pareting skills. Oh and, without the evil feminism (=women working and being educated) you wouldn´t enjoy such a high quality of life. That is a fact. If you miss "patriarchy", just hop on the plane and go to afganistan or cambodia. Enjoy the world pre-feminism. Count your blessings, you guys have the luxury to whine about ugly women.
and ps. your daughter will not love you after she reads your blog, how you would replace her mom if she was hit by a bus, how women are only worth anything when they are young and beautiful. But, I am pretty sure that would never happen. Because, you brave red pill souldiers, alpha-bloggers, who defend the true manliness and being and alpha male, don´t have enough courage to do it with your own name, with your own picture. Enough whining, more action. If you want change, do it.
Yadda yadda yadda. I know more prostitutes than you, guaranteed. And in case you hadn't noticed, there are plenty of white prostitutes out there.
DeleteFeminism isn't "working and being educated" and hasn't been since 1976. If that's what you think it is, you need to wake up and smell the 80s, when it became an anti-male political platform of feminine privilege and male punishment. There are feminists who advocate for the eventual elimination of our gender . . . so how did they get that from "working and being educated?" I daresay I've probably read more feminists than you, too.
My daughter will love me regardless. When she is of age, I will let her read every word. It isn't inconsistant with how I've raised her at all, and note that my criticisms of women are almost all (sometimes verbatim) criticisms women have voiced about women. So if there's something particularly heinous, I'll be able to point back to the woman who said it first.
Heh. I have contractual reasons for why I use a pseudonym -- it's pretty common in the porn world. And I am changing it. What the hell have YOU done to make our kids safer in schools?
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