tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post6714391648483910031..comments2024-03-27T17:13:17.767-04:00Comments on The Red Pill Room: The Difference Between Leading And DraggingIan Ironwoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-3119493447835971212012-03-31T16:01:22.559-04:002012-03-31T16:01:22.559-04:00Appreciate the link love Ian.Appreciate the link love Ian.Athol Kayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13273865467155978550noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-11341123448645981592012-03-20T13:17:10.075-04:002012-03-20T13:17:10.075-04:00A good man and a good woman make a good team. A j...A good man and a good woman make a good team. A jack-ass and a vain, greedy slut make a lousy team. My definition of an Alpha has never been "cock of the walk." An Alpha Man has the compelling need to take care of other people through leadership. <br /><br />Both husband and wife need the skills of delayed self gratification, impulse control, planning and managing towards a goal, good manners & common sense. Not attributes that can be found in a bar or crowded nightclub.Fifi [Feeling is First]https://www.blogger.com/profile/10144680325988687577noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-35892297717924393762012-03-18T21:47:28.614-04:002012-03-18T21:47:28.614-04:00No, I just suck. I'll try to add a button tom...No, I just suck. I'll try to add a button tomorrow.Ian Ironwoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-46458010897039911232012-03-18T21:45:30.939-04:002012-03-18T21:45:30.939-04:00It's a gigantic shit-test, dude. There's ...It's a gigantic shit-test, dude. There's a difference between a reasonable request and an unreasonable fitness-test. Indulging her whims when they run counter to the Mission is just asking for trouble.<br /><br />When Mrs. Ironwood suggests something I know is probably not a good idea, I have a variety of responses that let her know that I'm not in favor of the situation, but am open to hear a compelling argument. That doesn't mean I'll knuckle under, it just means that I'm a reasonable man, and if she presents reasonable arguments I will take them under consideration.<br /><br />Here's a couple of stock phrases:<br /><br />"Show it to me on paper." Usually when she proposes an expense that I would have a hard time justifying. "Show it to me on paper" tells her that if the numbers don't add up, forget it.<br /><br />"Now, tell me how this would make our lives better?" this challenges her desire versus the needs of the whole family. <br /><br />"I'll consider the matter, but I'm leaning towards 'no'. We just don't have the resources to handle the additional ______________." This is using my masculine power to Order. <br /><br />If she starts to use an emotional response (very, very rare): "I can see this has you upset. Let me consider this and we can discuss it again when you've calmed down."<br /><br />The fact is, "she's unhappy" is an attempt to get your attention and validation. If you instead challenge her as an adult, and accept only reasonable discussion and not "You don't love me!" BS, she might <i>say</i> she's unhappy at first, but after the first few times of her realizing that you aren't going to yield, she will likely settle down.<br /><br />Act like the Captain, and she's just naturally gonna treat you like the Captain. But not if you capitulate to her every time.Ian Ironwoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09776355241706284910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-63794560006643985042012-03-18T18:14:38.835-04:002012-03-18T18:14:38.835-04:00Hey Ian, thanks for all the great tips. You're...Hey Ian, thanks for all the great tips. You're performing an invaluable act by sharing your knowledge with us young guys just coming up. I want to add your blog to my Igoogle homepage so I can follow easier but I don't see an option anywhere. Am I missing something?Fearlesshttp://exceedandlead.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-65739025896866740422012-03-18T06:34:03.595-04:002012-03-18T06:34:03.595-04:00nice one,leadership, leadership, that is the spiri...nice one,leadership, leadership, that is the spirit of game.<br />an attractive male is a great leader by naturewizardhttp://wizardcorpse.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-186309227149071792012-03-17T21:32:44.211-04:002012-03-17T21:32:44.211-04:00"And I would sometimes takes months to give i..."And I would sometimes takes months to give in, but eventually since divorce was occasionally bandied about as a threat, I would give in."<br /><br />I am not trying to be hurtful to ROI, but when I read the above statement I figured that's why she wouldn't quit...eventually, you would give in. It's just like the kids...they know when no is no and when no is whine enough and I can have it. I'm not making judgements, just observations. <br /><br />I don't know how to tell you to do it differently, I only know what I respond to. When my husband says no I want it to be because he has thought about it and knows it wouldn't be good for me, for our relationship, family, or finances. And when I disagree and give my opinion, if I don't have valid reasons that make sense, then the answer is still no. You've got to respect a man that stands behind what he thinks is right despite the opposition, even if that opposition is me. <br /><br />I want him to be strong and lead because he is strong and can lead, not because I hide or reduce who I am. I don't mean for that to sound bitchy but I don't know how else to write it. Maybe she is waiting for you to put her in her place (and that means different things for different women) and it could be she doesn't realize what she is looking for you to do, but maybe a place to start is letting no mean no...every single time.Rednoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-13901103099312513942012-03-17T04:29:31.946-04:002012-03-17T04:29:31.946-04:00ROI, sooner or later she's going to make a dem...ROI, sooner or later she's going to make a demand you simply won't be able to give in to. It'll cost far more money than you have, or more time than you can spare, or is going to clearly lead to ruin for you and/or your family.<br /><br />Either way, you're going to HAVE to say no, stick to it, and weather the resulting storm of accusation and emotional blackmail. And if she really would divorce you over that, well, she'll end up doing it anyway after everything you've given her. And you'll be extra bitter over it then, believe me. The next woman will think you're a total miser 'cause you'll be giving her virtually nothing in direct response to all this.The MacNuthttp://thevanguardhome.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-12054683157312784202012-03-16T22:20:32.722-04:002012-03-16T22:20:32.722-04:00"Honey, we’re screwed. But I know that we’ll..."Honey, we’re screwed. But I know that we’ll find our way out. I have every confidence in you.' That one phrase can do more to help the situation than a spontaneous blowjob.<br /><br />Okay, perhaps I exaggerate . . ." <br /><br />You do not exaggerate, Sir. At really really tough times, that statement can outweigh the blowjob.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4514791571109198162.post-34490196363007832012-03-16T20:29:56.228-04:002012-03-16T20:29:56.228-04:00"The difference will be recognized instantly ..."The difference will be recognized instantly by any married man – even if he shrinks from the responsibility and flakes out, letting his wife take control. When you are the Captain of not just yourself but a whole crew, you not only have the authority to order and decide policy, you also have a personal responsibility for the safety and well-being of everyone in your crew, beginning with the First Officer. This is the “burden of command” that is so prevalent in military literature. Because the fact is, as Captain, when the ship hits an asteroid or the crew is unhappy regardless of whether or not it’s your fault it is still your responsibility."<br /><br />"...the crew is unhappy..."<br /><br />And there is the rub. She would be unhappy until I gave in. A car, a dog, a house, another house, a cat, another cat, a rabbit, another car, another car, carpet, paint, etc. It would turn in to, "You do not love me, you do not care about me. You do not want what is best for our children." Continually, until I acquiesced. And I would sometimes takes months to give in, but eventually since divorce was occasionally bandied about as a threat, I would give in. Yeah, not very Alpha. Of course I thought I was being the loving husband by giving my wife what she wanted. Blecht.ROInoreply@blogger.com